>pic unrelated So recently one of the players of my d&d group left, and one of the other players invited her friend. Thinking back she addressed her friend as 'he' when she brought it up. So the next session when this friend showed up i was confused. I guessed she was trans and i only addressed her by name and by 'you'. She ended up leaving before we started because she lost her character sheet and just showed up to meet us.
Now as you can guess, i don't particularly align with the whole trans movement thing. When i got home after the game i checked her facebook, and on her profile pic he passes as a guy really well. Problem is, i can only assume at some point i'll let slip a 'she' and, given my group is significantly more 'liberal' than I am and they know it, it'll end up escalating and 1, ruin her experience of the game and 2, ruin my relationship with the group.
Everybody else seems to be able to do the whole pronoun thing without thinking. But i just say what i see in that situation and its a difficult habit to get out of. I don't want to make this about changing my politics i just want to roll some dice and have a fun adventure and not make everyone else uncomfortable.
some >inb4s >I don't use /pol/ anymore >I guess this should probably be on /lgbt/ but i thought the context was relevant enough to post here >Yes i'm in a university group
Jace Carter
As a russian, I'm unable to relate to your problem at all. We don't have this "trans" thing.
Anthony Kelly
Just explain to your group that you might slip up occasionally. If they can't accept that then find some non babies to play with.
Blake Gutierrez
Now that idpol threads take up more than 8% of Veeky Forums, should we have a separate board for political shitposting threads disguised as discussions of traditional games?
Andrew Cook
Sounds like an issue of narrow-mindedness to me.
Evan Hill
You clearly have some, as your government found some when Trump wanted to get to pissed on.
Ayden Cruz
>university group I don't think there's anything you can do about it aside from attempt to talk to them like adults and maybe apologize if it does happen.
Stop stirring shit up you fucking fa/tg/it, this is an actual common problem that comes up in tabletop groups, it's happened to me before, and everything he's saying is so far civil until you came in to start bitching about "Oh god something vaguely political". Shut the fuck up, you're the real cancer, all you're doing is bitching about nothing.
Logan Cruz
>I guess this should probably be on /lgbt/ but i thought the context was relevant enough to post here Well you thought wrong Curtis. Get those lazy bones to /lgbt/
Angel Anderson
The media up plays the trans thing a lot. Most of them will not go full SJW on you if you mess up and its a mistake.
They well get pissed if you do it in a harrasing way.
Owen Morris
The problem is getting it into your head in the first place, now you're fucked and its going to be hard to change. I'm going to assume they pass catastrophically poorly, most FtM people I've seen have no issue passing as a very effeminate male after less than a month of effort in body language, grooming and dress, let alone hormones or whatever.
Everything I can come up with from here is bullshit from here so I may as well recommend that you try and imagine them as having a squarer jaw and broader shoulders than they actually do or something, the most important thing to preventing a fuckup is to just not be instinctively thinking of them as the other gender.
Like, yes you can talk to people about it like a human being, but having been in those shoes before it's always spaghetti as fuck and it's very hard to gauge how fragile they'll be on confrontation over that sort of thing. Like some people will be like "Yeah sure I understand", but others will fucking die inside being reminded that they don't pass, and others will fly into an incredulous rage, unable to understand how you simply cannot accept it.
For all that Veeky Forums advocates talking about shit rather than just avoiding it and overthinking everything behind people's backs, this is one area where I would say from experience it's probably best not to do so, at least until you know them better.
The ideal situation is if you can hold on long enough to see someone else fuck up first so you can see how well that turns out.
Owen Johnson
>this is an actual common problem that comes up in tabletop groups maybe for someone your age
Jacob Sanchez
This desu. Most people prefer it even when you don't make a big deal out of it if you slip up. Like it's whatever. You'll get used to him being around. Just try to be nice, you know. This isn't politics, this is literally getting with a group of people. If someone came around and he preferred to be called Julius Caesar, even though that's not the name on his ID and your friend vouches for the guy, then you'd try to be nice to the guy and just call him Julius.
Logan Ward
This is probably a troll or baiting for a potential rage thread, but in case this isn't...
Just try your best. You're gonna slip up and it's going to be uncomfortable for a second, but correct yourself and move on. If it really seems to bother them, just tell them in private that you're trying your best and you're gonna screw up every now and then. If they can't accept that, then it's time to find another group.
Blake Mitchell
well despite your personal view on politics and all that you seems like a decent persons,i mean you are actually worried about hurting these trans person feelings,in someway,so just be decent,try to use the pronouns that persons seems to be more confortable with and if somehow you offend someone just apologize,try not to make a big deal of all this,
Jeremiah Jackson
>probably
Dylan Green
You mean mid-20s in the year of our lord 2017? The common grouping for college age? No shit, genius.
Also I would like to apologize for commenting on that copypaste bait up there, I haven't been on Veeky Forums for the past couple of days and missed the fresh memes you've all decided to make to bitch.
Brandon Sanchez
I'm envious
Adrian Cooper
I don't think most trans people will be TRIGGERED by someone getting a pronoun wrong, its pretty normal I'd think. Only one trans person I met got butthurt about it and they has a lot of severe mental issues on top of that. When would you have to refer to them as "he/she" when they are sitting right next to you?
Kayden Diaz
Be honest. Take her aside, and mention that your friend called her a he, and that you think he looks like a she, and you are probably going to use the wrong pronoun sooner or later, and to not be offended by it, largely because you've got eight million things going through your mind in dealing with gaming stuff and have a hard time keeping track of your own damn pronouns. S/he/it will more than likely be fine with that and thank you for letting her know that you respect it, but aren't going to be reliable about it.
Nine times out of ten, they'll be just fine and not really worry over it.
Because I can barely remember my players' character's names, much less the players names, because i have to coordinate so much goddamn shit in game I really can't be bothered with the trivialities of someone's preferred pronouns, and I'm a goddamn dyke, If they get offended, then they're not going to be able to cope with the kind of crap I pull in game anyways.
Bentley Perry
>Only one trans person I met got butthurt about it and they has a lot of severe mental issues on top of that The issue is that this is not an uncommon circumstance
Michael Rivera
Just be polite and if you slip up apologize and move on. Try addressing everyone in character instead of out of character, that should help for the most part. I know how it is when you come across someone like that (I used to have a roommate who only wanted to be referred to with "they"), but as long as they don't get all uppity about it then you'll be fine. And if your group knows full and damn well that you aren't as liberal as them and they still make a scene about it, then find a different group who can accept people who are different than them.
Wyatt Gomez
>The issue is that this is not an uncommon circumstance Yeah, OP makes threads about trannies every day.
Benjamin Anderson
If they wanna be called a girl call em a girl if not don't if they're a cunt treat em like a cunt if not don't
Julian Smith
They were an exception. I think most of their issues stemmed from the massive scar on the back of their head that was the result of a head injury, but I'm not a doctor so who knows. Another trans person I've met was one of the nicest people I've ever met and you would have no idea they wanted to transition unless you talked to them. At the end of the day trans people are just people, not some scary boogeyman. I don't exactly care for it much as personally I think that its a mental condition much like depression that should be treated but I can keep that to myself. That opinion isn't going to make anyone happy.
Alexander Carter
I once went to a week long festival with a friend and his gay couple friends. I told those guys I call everyone a faggot. It's my thing and I can't help it. It ended up being pretty liberating for the gay couple and at the end of the week everyone was calling everyone a faggot. They didn't mind because they could accept me being a blunt asshole because that's the way I am. I don't criticize or try to change them for being gay because that is the way they were born. So why can they criticize me for having no social filter? I was born that way.
Jaxon Reyes
Since you guys mostly said similar things, thanks for the help. I mostly talk to shitlords from my trashy hometown that have been making the same jokes about one of our gay friends for the past 2 years, so i just expected a bit more backlash for screwing up muh pronouns. Sorry i'm not a troll, thanks for the help though.
>I'm going to assume they pass catastrophically poorly Only when she's not trying. Like i said she passes in her pfp, she kinda looks like a chubby guy who went through puberty a little later than everyone elsethink gibby. It's just at the table since nobody really 'dresses up' for d&d unless that's your thing.
>When would you have to refer to them as "he/she" when they are sitting right next to you? Probably not at all, but being really antisocial until a few years ago has made me really worried about social etiquette. But probably, when she's not around and i'm asking one of the other players about her. I do normally just go by name though so i do think i'll be fine.
If we end up alone for whatever reason i might say something. I'm normally the first to show up so i'm normally alone with someone for about 5 minutes before the next person shows up.
Alexander Allen
>She ended up leaving before we started because she lost her character sheet and just showed up to meet us. Why didn't he just roll up a new one and join you in the middle of the session?
Gavin Howard
I wouldn't let a mentally ill person in. Or would on the condition I'm not obligated to go along with their delusions.
Ethan Roberts
Am American, can confirm that Trump likes to get pissed on.
Henry Torres
...
Cooper Rogers
Sheets are hard for normies. The experience is arduous and draining for them.
Ian Campbell
Where did you get that percentage?
Alexander Nguyen
The difference is that mentally ill people like trannies don't get encouraged in Eastern Europe by the general public. You have to work against public shaming if you reject treatment and instead try to force your warped view down other people's throats.
Jordan Foster
99.9% of people in our hobby are fucking autists.
If you managed to get a full group of mentally stable people in this fucking hobby then you have the golden goose of gaming groups. Treasure that shit motherfucker.
Jose Rogers
He didn't have it in his bag, i suggested that he just roll up and write it down on a sheet from my notebook but he decided to go home and see if it was there first. About an hour into the session he just messaged saying he'll join next week.
Can confirm am autistic.
Sebastian Harris
That's impossible because mentally stable people wouldn't feel the need to play pretend in shitty make believe settings
Jose Morris
privately ask the person who invited this person about it. Just say, "I wanted to make sure I was using the right pronouns." Whether or not you approve or are used to it doesn't matter, as long as they aren't making a big deal of it who cares right? Just act like it's a guy who comes off as a girl and you're not sure. Awkward to deal with and you might fuck up, but it doesn't make you a bad person.
Ask the friend about the pronouns and apologize, say you just wanted to make sure you don't offend him etc. The friend will probably be chill about it.
If you fuck up it doesn't matter, he's probably used to it and will either say nothing or correct you and you just apologize. But the main thing is to consider him a guy and don't even think about the girl thing. You never knew him as a girl so it shouldn't be too hard.
Alternatively, focus on referring to people in-character when applicable. That'll keep you from having to say their gender anyway.
Jeremiah Myers
I'd rather have an autist, depending on the severity, then an ugly woman that demands that I ignore reality and call her a man.
Carter Martinez
>Where did you get that percentage? Probably closer to 50% now that you mention it.
Joshua Powell
But you're already the autist, user.
Ayden Brooks
>But the main thing is to consider him a guy and don't even think about the girl thing. Yes, deny objective reality. This is some weird, Orwellian shit.
Luis James
>calling a woman, pretending to be a man, a woman is autism
Alexander Butler
wisdom
Nathaniel Jones
Making a big deal out of it is autistic, yes. >"Hi would you mind referring to me as [GENDER]?" >NO REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
Lucas James
Maybe if you keep replying to the troll he'll start agreeing with you.
Owen Carter
I'll keep getting (You)s either way
David Barnes
>"Hi would you mind referring to me as [GENDER]?" >I would actually, accept it or don't. No reeeing involved.
Anthony Young
[insert obligatory /pol/ or SJW bullshit here]
But really, if you hang out with the right people, the fact you're confused and don't know much about the issue won't matter to them. All they'll care about is that you try your best. Be honest and upfront about your confusion, listen to what they say, and don't be afraid to speak up if you don't understand something.
This guy gets it.
Christopher White
>consider him a guy and don't even think about the girl thing. The proper advice here is "realize that she's a girl but she gets upset when you use certain words that aren't meant as insults, so just call her by her name every time you want to refer to her." OP shouldn't be forced to conform to the wishes of another person if he doesn't agree with them, just as she's not forced to conform with the fact of nature that is her body. I'm in the same boat (friend of a friend is bigender/agender depending on the weather, what either of those terms is supposed to me is a question for someone far more versed in Women's Studies) and I would rather not feed into their delusion but also realize that I'm not going to help anything by making them feel uncomfortable all the time. I just refer to them by their name and try to avoid them in conversation.
Ryan Taylor
I'm not here to argue with you but what about these posts relate to or help OP at all? Are you telling him to follow your beliefs and deny a player because you would? If so just say that and move on.
Connor Howard
That it's time to stop accepting that 2+2=5.
Hudson Cox
Still irrelevant to the thread, go back to /pol/ if you just want to whine about trans people because that's not on topic here.
Andrew Bennett
It absolutely is on topic. OP asked what he should do with this individual, the best thing would be to not allow them to participate or not humor their bullshit. And fuck on off back to /lgbt/.
Noah Harris
Man dont be an autist... If that moment comes, just tell her that you are not acustomed but you are triying your best. its that fucking simple anyway he will play a male character so?
Daniel Morris
I literally asked you two posts ago to actually turn your thinly veiled /pol/ shitposting into advice for OP and on-topic, thanks for finally following through after I called you out twice.
Oliver Kelly
It was literally in my first post it's not my fault you can't fucking read.
Dylan Campbell
I'm beginning to understand why you thought i was baiting holy shit. OP is indeed sorry guys.
Adrian Scott
I wish you'd actually read my posts, too, but there's only so much one can expect from the mentally ill.
Benjamin Perez
>y-you too
Asher Miller
I'm not the one that thinks women are pretend to be men, are men. That's you lot.
Kayden Peterson
Please continue acting smug and retarded, both of you. It's very on topic.
Don't be sorry, you could have posted about what color icing to put on a cake and you would have got similar levels of autism. Hope you at least got some insight and advice that helps.
Logan Jones
See I don't care what someone wants to be called, as long as they don't be weird or an asshole about it. It's when people make it their entire identity that it becomes a problem.
Brayden Diaz
we need a bloodlusty centristmod
Ayden Lopez
Like the shitposter in here basing xis entire identity about being an anti-tranny /pol/shitter?
Kevin Hernandez
>*their FTFY
Daniel Nguyen
Don't correct my pronouns, shitlord.
Noah Collins
Fake news.
Alexander Gutierrez
Me thinks you both protest to much buttercup.
Ayden Lopez
Eat my ass faggot. That was literally my second post in this entire thread.
David Barnes
>Eat my ass faggot. Are you cursing him or inviting him for a "session"?
Josiah Brown
Practice makes perfect. Yeah you might slip up some times in the beginning but eventually you'll learn to automatically refer to the person by their prefered pronoun even though you still might think of the person otherwise. If your buddies can't understand that you might slip up a couple of times then they're idiots.
Liam Taylor
>I'm beginning to understand why you thought i was baiting holy shit. OP is indeed sorry guys. /pol/tards (of both sides) will latch onto any excuse to shitpost about identity politics on Veeky Forums.
Joshua Gutierrez
>by their prefered pronoun even though you still might think of the person otherwise. >just play pretend with them user, 2+2=5
Robert Lee
Trannies are less than 1% of the population. No, this is NOT something normal people have to deal with.
Jackson Martinez
What percentage of the population plays D&D?
Nathan Martinez
"Hey
Jason Foster
Don't do this OP, stop playing into their delusions.
Xavier Peterson
Almost shat myself. You win. /thread
Thomas King
Passing trannies are even less than that.
Angel Campbell
>What percentage of the population plays D&D? mfw thinking what percentage of the population posts on Veeky Forums
Hunter Baker
Why not? I don't see you complaining about all the /pol/tards deluding themselves into thinking they're welcome here.
Adam Parker
They are welcome here, you aren't.
Jaxson Brooks
>They are welcome here /pol/shit belongs in /pol/, and if you can't understand that simple rule you should kill yourself.
Camden Lewis
And trannies belong in their closets hanging from their belts or in bed with a bottle of pills, yet here we are.
Isaac Wilson
If they play a female character and you mess up a pronoun, just pretend you were addressing the character instead of them. If they play a male character, just always refer to them in the context of their character. Basically, just pretend the person doesn't exist and only their character exists like they want you to believe.
Elijah Brown
Just be cool man, call that turbo-dyke a dude and if anything slips don't draw attention to it, just keep going and play it off as nothing.
Connor Collins
Interestingly enough, many Muslim cultures are A-OK with Trans-folk. Hell, there was a case where some dude forced his gay daughter to transition so they would be accepted.
Noah Carter
You're really obsessed with trannies aren't you? Spend a lot of time thinking about them? I wonder how much trap porn is on your computer.
Isaac Cruz
I mean, considering how rampant male on male pedophilia is in the middle east they need some sort of loophole to make it "not gay"
Jose Ward
Bro are you ok? Did a tranny violate you?
Jayden Williams
I'm mtf trans. Here's what you do
>ask your friend if you should call her friend he or she >call them that >if they want to be called he and you say she, just say "i mean he" and then move on and not make a big deal of it
No one who is actually trans wants to make a scene about it. If they throw a fit about it, it means they were actually waiting for you to slip up just so they could throw a fit about it, and they're a huge asshole who you should not be spending your time with.
Ryder Thompson
>you should kill yourself >but don't point out how trannies kill themselves in fucking droves
Jackson Foster
More Twi'lek qt3.14s please
Jaxson Davis
>be young muslim boy >very religious father wants to fuck you >he forces you to become the little girl >live happily ever after
>be young christian boy >father is very religious and wants to bang you >you get killed in "exorcism" to remove the "demons" that must be making your father lust after you >buried in shallow grave, corpse is eventually found and eaten by a pack of wild australians
One of these seems better than the other.
Wouldn't that be Charisma?
Carter Sanders
>>but don't point out how trannies kill themselves in fucking droves
While we're discussing Veeky Forums-related topics on Veeky Forums, I heard that this statement was bullshit.
Nicholas Foster
They have around a 50% suicide attempt rate.
Benjamin Torres
Being dead seems to be a better alternative than being forced to cross dress because your faggot father wants a sex slave
Jordan Foster
less than 1% is actually a lot, even a neckbeard probably knows more than 100 people