I open the door

>I open the door
>Which hand do you use?

>the, uh, left hand?
>you feel compelled to get on the floor

...

I don't use my hand. I use my foot, like a real man.

I did this once. Dm said I injured my foot kicking the door in. Took a dex penalty for the rest of the day, would not recommend.

I cast mage hand

That's stupid. DM is stupid. That's what boots are for. And also, no strength check? Stupid DM.

We had a dungeon crawl session that our voice of caution rogue couldn't make it to. My fighter picked every lock with his foot and only got a trap to the face 1/3 of the time.

The rogue was a total toolbag so the party appointed me to the position of lockpicker going forward, much to the rogue's chagrin.

If you're happy tanking a trap 33% they often, either your DM or your game system is shit.

I actually open doors like this because of my OCD. Like if I'm exiting a public restroom that doesn't have paper towels. I'm pretty good at it.

Don't you have a 12 foot long pole to push the door?

> physically opening doors...
Not using your charm and powers of persuassion to get the door to open for you...
Do you even Charisma?

>not intimidating the door into opening for you

> adventurers start using long poles to trigger traps from outside their range
> dungeon designers adapt, start making traps with longer ranges
> thus begins a vicious cycle of ever-longer poles and ever farther-reaching traps
> adventurers eventually start using plumbing snakes and bomb disposal robots to dungeon delve

I just tried to visualise the kind of magical/chimerical hybrid that the typical wizard would try to create as a "plumbing snake"...
*shudders*

My mage hand, obviously.

>the player characters are said Robots
>it's a highly lethal dungeon crawl system

>tfw your fighter realizes it's hard to turn a knob with a shield in one hand and a sword in the other

>Which hand do you use?

Thaumaturgy, obviously

I’ve made a joke out of this often enough that my players have lowered their guard about opening doors. They’re in for a surprise next session.

I use a grenade launcher.

Mage Hand

This.

>current year
>using doors

w-what is that picture, user?

...

>Time to do the dinosaur

And then some son of a bitch comes along and just walks up to the traps and triggers explosions half a mile behind him.

I routine opens the doors at my house with my feet when barefoot. It's hard with socks, but I've actually managed to get one of the round handles with shoes on before.

>I masturbate
>Which hand do you use?

Then wizards start summoning creatures with hands.
Failing that, hire peasants, and keep reanimating them until they run out of remains to reanimate.

>I pick up the magic sword
>Which bag do you store it in? Where is it on your person?