Red flags that you should run?

Makes sense. Women, especially the tomboyish type who are likely to get into nerd hobbies, likely grew up reading a lot of books by men about teen boys. They get what the character's formative experiences were probably like, they have a decently wide spread of being able to pick out overarching boy things from ones which only show up in a particular genre, and they can just pastiche if need be rather than having to invent things from whole cloth. Meanwhile for guys it's rare to even dip into Bujold or Le Guin or Cherryh.

Yep. That's why this is a discussion board.

I do not know what Undertale is. I was thinking more like Yellow Dancer from Mospeada.

The worst is when you get dudes who claim they "usually" play male characters, or claim they go "50/50", but then every single game you're in with them just happens miraculously be one where they're playing a female character and they only ever have like one male character (usually from a game they quit in 3 or less sessions) they can tell you about when you ask about past characters.

I mean, don't get me wrong, I have actually played with a few guys who have played female characters well, but they are FAR and FEW between. The majority of them just want a waifu to jerk off to, or are secretly trying to live out some super beta "I want to be the little girl" fantasies.

What if I want to make a character that happens to be female, play her through a ton of levels, get a fantastic stats build and design/appearance, and then jerk off to my new waifu crafted over hours of tabletop play?

>I'm playing a genderfluid
Dropped immediately

Historically, I've played far more male characters than female, but in recent years, my split has been almost perfectly 50/50, as you say, though it's more happenstance than anything else, rather than some intentional contrivance.

For anyone who's not afraid of playing a character of the opposite gender, a character's own gender is often an important consideration when wanting to portray a certain role. Really, it's no different than when one chooses the gender of a specific NPC, though I imagine there are plenty of GMs that do this rather arbitrarily.

>waah dont play out a fantasy in my make pretend game waaaah

HAHAHAHAHAHA

Ironically, lately I end up playing a female character because I'm working through exploring the Actual MMO Healer thing but don't just want to be the stock drill sergeant with a heart of gold. Harsh big sister is woefully undercovered anywhere for how real and resonant of an archetype it is.

Correction it is:
>waah dont play out a sexual fantasy in my make pretend game waaaah
Nobody likes seeing you jerk off on the table.

THIS
As long as they don't try to push their fetishes on other players it's ok.

More like
>Nobody else at the table wants to watch you sit there and jerk off to the oppai loli anime character you secretly wish you were in real life because it's fucking creepy and weird.

But yeah, no, make it a "you just hate fun" argument. We totally can't see through you, honest.

I have a friend who is, to be quite honest, a complete and utter degenerate.
Dude plays FANTASTIC female characters. I remember one game of Exalted:Infernals, his Scourge caste was fucking terrifying.

I have a pretty long list of Red Flags:
>transsexual, gay, lesbian, bisexual, metrosexual
>open-mouth smile in any of Facebook photos
>is fat, or has a fat partner
>is openly and brazenly into anime
>wants to play a tiefling, drow elf, dragonborn, eladrin, or other non-standard race
>is a fan of Game of Thrones or Stranger Things
>watches Critical Roll unironically
>favorite system is Pathfinder (3.5 is okay, that can be put down to nostalgia)
>wants to use homebrew
>smokes weed
>bernie sanders or gary johnson voter
>male player who wants to play a female character (there is ONE person exempt from this rule)
>wants to use homebrew/3rd party (I make RARE exceptions)
>claiming to have "depression" (doesn't exist, excuse to whine)
>gets salty over taking damage
>doesn't want to roleplay purchasing items
>doesn't want to roleplay in inn
>wanting to play non-core classes in D&D without having played the majority of the core classes
>using any of the words during game: "sidequest" "boss" "miniboss" or "tank."
>whining about rolling for stats
>whining about rolling 12 12 10 10 15 15 for stats
Some of these aren't evident until they are already part of the group. I will allow a player to have up to two (2) of these flaws. Any more, and they are out. Unequivocally, unrefutably, out. I don't have patience for shit players. I have over 10 years of GM experience. I have run dozens of campaigns, some in excess of five years in length. I am a high-quality GM and I have better things to do than deal with shit players.

>described as a cute, male, fox humanoid with a fluffy tail and soft eyes, tries to greet other characters with a lick on the cheek

...so we're fine, then, if it's described as a cute, female, fox humanoid with a fluffy tail and soft eyes, trying to greet other characters with a lick on the cheek.

>I am a high-quality GM
The kind of people who say this usually aren't.

had to make sure to tag absolutely everybody, didn't you.

Christ, it's a wonder you find anyone to play with.

>doesn't want to roleplay purchasing items

Dude, I'm 15th level and have more wealth that some small baronies. Do I really have to go through your dumbass Ye Fantasy Shoppe Script every time I want to buy some arrows? We get it, you're a theater major and can do a decent North accent. No one cares. Let me have my damn arrows.

>doesn't exist
It does, though. Most people think it's something like "boohoo i'm sad", and I'd definitely understand not wanting to play with those folk, since they could just as easily not mention it, but it's a real thing.

...

>DM wants to do a "You guys are all weak, let me show that by throwing an overpowered eldritch monster on the first sesssion and only the DMNPCs kill it while you guys watch like a bunch of bitches."

Fuck off. The most boring shit ever.

Is this some sort of fresh copypasta, or are you literally the most pretentious person on earth?

Your DM is an absolute asshat like . That's a red flag with an air-raid siren blaring full volume.

>Muh can't replay with out playing something wacky and zany.
Learn to play the character and not the numbers, learn to play the person and not the wacky race or trope fill.
Learn to make something standard be good, if you can't play a human well, you certainly can't play anything else well.

This bait is delicious. Thank you, kind user.

maybe he just didn't want to play a game in a setting he's not interested in

>I have run dozens of campaign.
No you fucking haven't. And if you have, I pity your players.

>some in excess of five years in length
The fanfiction story you've been writing in your head since 6th grade doesn't count.

> I am a high-quality GM
See >I have better things to do than deal with shit players.
Your players getting tired of your pretentious bullshit and leaving to find other games doesn't make them shit, sorry buddy.

>Open-mouth smile in any of Facebook photos

What does this mean? Do you mean a where their teeth are showing like a real fucking smile instead of some faggot ass smirk? Why is this red flag? Does having normal social skills and a quality smile make you feel uncomfortable or something?

This needs to become a pasta

Probably not, but fair enough.
We can clearly assume he just wants to play some wacky and crazy race.

Ones that can be skipped can be presumed as things I don't have a problem with.

1/2

>transsexual, gay, lesbian, bisexual, metrosexual

Your personal hangups should not be relevant at the table.

>open-mouth smile in any of Facebook photos

This is just shallow.

>is fat, or has a fat partner

Because as we all know, James Earl Jones and John Candy were a blight upon mankind.

>is openly and brazenly into anime

De gustibus non est disputandum.
- Translation: Grow up.

>wants to play a tiefling, drow elf, dragonborn, eladrin, or other non-standard race

Yeah, Aragorn was a stupid character, living centuries and having innate power greater than any other Man and bullshit like that. Also fuck Bard for having an in-the-blood ability to talk to birds.

>is a fan of Game of Thrones or Stranger Things

De gustibus non est disputandum.
- Translation: I don't see how my TV tastes are relevant, and it's not like I judge you for watching NCIS.

>watches Critical Roll unironically

De gustibus non est disputandum.
- Translation: My father watches Z Nation, I don't cut off all contact with him. Get over yourself.

>favorite system is Pathfinder (3.5 is okay, that can be put down to nostalgia)

Anyone who would meaningfully distinguish between the two needs their head examined.

>wants to use homebrew

God forbid anyone try and innovate or have fun with the system.

Asking if my thief can be proficient with scimitars instead of longswords is technically homebrew, but entirely harmless in any system that meaningfully distinguishes the two. You gonna ban me based on that?

>bernie sanders or gary johnson voter

NEVER bring politics to the game table. That includes banning people based on them when they haven't otherwise done anything to bring them up.

>male player who wants to play a female character (there is ONE person exempt from this rule)

Now I'm just curious. Also, really not a fan of roleplaying despite pretensions to the contrary, are you?

I would assume he means teeth apart and whole mouth is open.
You attacking him on your kinda far out there assumption makes you a retard.

>Women, especially the tomboyish type who are likely to get into nerd hobbies, likely grew up reading a lot of books
droped
>books are absolute sign of quality
and double droped

You missed the part where I have ten plus years experience. But sure, I'll believe you over the dozens of people who have begged me to run campaigns for them.
I'm talking about low levels more, dumbass.
No, its not real. It's a jew scam to sell uppers
Not an argument.
Not an argument.
I have run an eight year 3.5 campaign and a year and a half 5e campaign, as well as a two year pathfinder campaign and a savage worlds campaign that lasted almost two years. All these games have been going for 30+ sessions.
I'm talking about the pussy ass lolrandumb quirky XD smile used by my makes to advertise their submissiveness. I don't want these kind of limp dick faggots in my game.

>discuss expectations
>realize you're not interested in the same kind of campaign
>choose not to play together in favor of finding a more like-minded group to game with
Scary stuff.

>Ones that can be skipped

*Ones that WERE skipped. Mea culpa.

2/2

>wants to use homebrew/3rd party (I make RARE exceptions)

You're repeating yourself.

>claiming to have "depression" (doesn't exist, excuse to whine)

Uh-huh. Medical degree screencap with timestamp, please.

>doesn't want to roleplay purchasing items

SEE >doesn't want to roleplay in inn

SEE >wanting to play non-core classes in D&D without having played the majority of the core classes

I don't even know what this could possibly mean given that you've banned homebrew without exception already.

>using any of the words during game: "sidequest" "boss" "miniboss" or "tank."

"Hey, boss, that tank has a leak - "
"GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY GAME, FRANK!"

>I will allow a player to have up to two (2) of these flaws.

I cannot even imagine being so autistic as to come up with a twenty-one point list of things that I hate in a player, and then putting a specific, arbitrary number on how many of them I'd allow.

Please, if you're gonna spam stupid bait, at least put some effort into it like did.

I wonder how many attempt the Political Intrigue route after exposure to Game of Thrones & basically end up with "Pathfinder, but with Backstabbing, Sex and Gore"

Hahahaha xD

I believe you buddy, I believe you. Just like the rest of Veeky Forums who claims to have friends and play real games even though their personality marks them clearly as friendless anti-social retards.

>Your personal hangups should not be relevant at the table.
No, except I have yet to see a gay or tranny who kept that shit out of the game. They cant help shoe horning their mental illness into the game somehow.
>This is just shallow.
So what?
>grow up
Not an argument.
>Aragorn and bard
Were both human, albeit with elf lineage. I dont see how this is relevant, but I can understand youre probably just butthurt that I won't let you play a shitty homebrew race in my game.

>Does having normal social skills and a quality smile make you feel uncomfortable or something?
His list is full of shallow, overly specific minutiae and declares himself "high quality." Take a guess at how good his social skills are

Not the bait-user you're arguing with but holy shit your formatting is so awful it's genuinely shocking.

>Learn to play the character and not the numbers

Sometimes a character is tied into a race. Using the example from the user your quoted, we know that the DM's world at least has humans, halflings, and thri-keen. There are presumably things that halflings and thri-keen go through that humans wouldn't (like, say, say there's a recently-fallen thri-keen kingdom. A player might like the idea of playing a thri-keen survivor of the kingdom's fall that has nothing to do with the race's stats but presumably doesn't easily translate over to humans (unless human kingdoms are dropping like flies as well, but you get the point, I trust)).

Using a more standard D&D world as an example, my "default" D&D character is a human-raised dark elf thief. I don't play her for the dark elf stats. I'm actually just as happy to role her up with standard elf stats, as long as "in universe" she's seen, regarded as, and is a drow elf. It's tied into her character.

>everything, that doesn't support my beliefs is bait

>De gustibus non est disputandum.
Yeah, and my opinion is that you should stay out of my game. You can't dispute that, can you, faggot? It goes both ways.
Also I don't watch NCIS or Z Nation.
>people wanting to homebrew an overpowered class, or snowflake bullshit for their quirky character concept, should be encouraged
Get fucked.
>3.5 and pathfinder are the same
You've never played either, apparently. That's not a bad thing though.
And I don't want berniefucks and their entitled mentality at the table, it WILL spill into their behavior. Thinking that other people have responsibility for your happiness, and that anyone should give a fuck about you, is a social disease that I do not want infecting my table.

>being black
>Being Fat
>Furry Character
>Only seems to talk about animes (I'll allow a little anime love, but you need to have more than an interest in anime, I don't want to play with your anime rip off).
>Is a girlfriend (only if it's clear they showed up without really wanting to.
>Using "triggered" unironically.
>Has colored hair, I might let this one slide, but they will be ok thinner ice.
>Won't play anything more human than an elf.

>I'm talking about low levels more, dumbass.

Low-level, high-level, it doesn't matter. I don't start a conversation with every convenience store clerk I encounter in real life; why would my character want to hear the life story and current trials of every fletcher she meets?

I'm perfectly happy to roleplay if something interesting is going to happen in the store, but I shouldn't have to roleplay if my character is just going to walk in, buy 20 arrows for 1 gp, and walk out.

>A jew scam to sell uppers

Perhaps a game of RaHoWa is your idea of a good time, then? It would certainly fit your intellectual tastes, from the sound of it, and you can hang around with your kind of people.

Nope, but clear shitposting is.

You might as well find another topic though, this one already has a lulzcow ripe for the milking, and his bait is wayyy better than your zero-effort shit.

Another decent thread ruined by an autistic closeted faggot with a /pol/ shoved up his puckered butthole

Well, at least you've proven the real rule true: don't play tabletop with people you wouldnt go on a road trip with. Experience doesn't belie quality, and assuming you aren't lying about having players, they might just be stuck with you.

(you)
To be fair about the gays and tranny's. If you walk into the room and I know your gay, your gana be to much to deal with.

I shouldn't know your sexuality unless we are friends.

Nothing in your post is an argument except for a demand that I provide proof I am part of a Jewish scam, and backlinking to the one person who actually had a decent point. And obviously I mean "tank" as the gaming term, I'm not going to ban someone for mentioning "boss" as in work supervisor either. You knew my intent and purposely misrepresented it trying to make me look more autistic than I really am. Which I may be, but I run good campaigns, and at least I don't use reddo spacing. You should have your Enter key removed from your fucking keyboard.

This thread is exceptionally terrible, even among Red Flag threads. Phenomenal work, gentlemen.

(you)
>Assuming someone's is gay
>Making everything be /pol/.
Just move past it. You cunts are the ones flooding the board. Not his fault you couldn't control yourself and had to respond.

What, the, fuck, is, with, that, comma, at, the, start, of, your, sentence,?

You don't know anyone on Veeky Forums so you're either projecting your own flaws or just making shit up. I've run these campaigns. Why would I lie about that? My criteria for players are just as valid whether I've run zero games or ten.

>decent thread
>Red Flags

>Won't play anything more human than an elf

What the heck does that mean? I personally hate playing human characters in a fantasy setting, and elves are my favourite race in those same settings. Regardless, in terms of races, half-elves and dwarves are actually my most played, plus I almost never play the same race twice in a row. What's so bad about not wanting to play a human?

>He had a typo!!!
>I HAVE TO POST ABOUT IT!!
dis you think to ignore it?

Garbage thread. Great job everyone involved.

>she
Found the problem.
Nice straw man. You're yet to disprove what I said.

Are you actually trying to disgrace me for counter baiting your bait?

It shows how weak the persons role play capabilities are. If you can't make a human Character good then you probably can't make any Character good.

Nah, I'm disgracing for even trying when there are far more entertaining retards in the thread already.

How on earth would my players be stuck with me?
How am I a bad GM?
I dont railroad, I don't do empty sandboxed, I do good description and run combat quickly when it does happen and really try to make the campaign something worth telling stories of later. And they are.
All I ask for in return, is players who aren't complete fucking trash.
Veeky Forums just gets triggered over my list of player red flags because they know that at least 50% of my list applies to them.

>Hypocrisy the post.
Either that or you really like that user.

I know this is bait, but I qualify for your group...

Well sorry that I tried to counter bait your bait after the master baiter came in. Dummy.

Ah, a fellow patrician.

>Were both human

In a genetic sense, maybe, but Aragorn had more going for him than any normal human, in his blood, regardless of whatever personal experience or training he had (i.e., racial traits in D&D terms). He was pushing 90 by the Two Towers, if I recall, but looked maybe his late 30s, and would likely live several centuries. He had a stronger claim to the Palantir of Orthanc than Sauron by right of blood, so Sauron could not use it to conquer him.

Basically what I'm driving at is if Tolkien could make one of his major characters a literal superman who is only a human by technicality, I don't see what's so bad about wanting to roll up a drow elf.

For that matter, you know the standard races are only standard by dint of circumstance, right? If Tolkien had decided to include a lizardman in the Fellowship and put lizardmen into his world, then lizardmen would be a "standard" D&D race.

(This is of course also discounting that the Fellowship had a basically literal angel in it - Gandalf was not a "standard race").

Yeah, well...yo momma.

Pathfinder is literally 3.5 with a new paintjob. You can convert any 3e anything to Pathfinder with at MOST 10 minutes of work adjusting some numbers.

>You can't dispute that, can you, faggot?

I can, because in this case it's not your opinion, it's your POLICY, which absolutely can be disputed and should be when it's stupid. It's perfectly okay to think that anime sucks; the issue is that you're using it as a bullshit reason to not play with people, as though people who like anime will give you cooties or something. I'm not a fan of anime either, but three of the four other people in my gaming group are. I haven't cut off all ties with them.

You like it in the butt.
>dropped and double dropped
So that is what happen when you were a baby.

>all those replies
A bountiful harvest. Congratulations, user.

You should consider making your list into a bingo board next time you post it.

Glad to hear there are some normal functioning human beings on Veeky Forums, user.

>don't see what's so bad about wanting to roll up a drow elf.
Because they would be lynched in the surface world and have no good reason to be there except raiding.

Again: what? How does that have anything to do with not wanting to play a human? If they can play an elf well (which is to say: they can role-play well), why does it matter that they won't play a human? Just seems like an overzealous and blanket exemption, especially since there are easier ways to tell if someone is shit at tabletop rpgs than to force them to play something they don't want to.

Are you the only guy int own who is willing to gm? How short on options are they that they are willing to put up with all of that? Holy shit, are you gming in a prison or something?

My inner child wishes to thank you for the one really good laugh in the whole thread. Kind of says something about the quality here.

>Pathfinder is literally 3.5 with a new paintjob. You can convert any 3e anything to Pathfinder with at MOST 10 minutes of work adjusting some numbers.
That doesn't mean the games content isnt cancer compared to 3.5.

Might as well contribute before this thread gets axed

>player makes a character with a secret origin from a secret island inhabited by a super secret species that no-one is allowed to know about
>preemptive signs of railroading (i.e, Quest suggestions from DM, NPCs coming up to your group out of nowhere with no context, the DM making suggestions on our character's background etc)
>hamfisted 'social issues' crow-barred into the plot
>DMPCs
>any game that involves political intrigue
>DM forgetting to mention key plotpoints in the campaign he wrote

The amount of salt in this list is a red flag all by itself.

Faggotry is not a personal hang up, you mentally defective childfucker.

The campaign is about the party venturing into the underdark to stop drow raids. I am a drow who wanted asylum from fucked up drow society. The party is using me to smuggle them into the underdark as slaves with me playing the role of a drow slaver.

Wow, it's like I thought of a reason to make a playable drow character in 10 seconds, you fucking retard.

There are plenty of options. Plenty of other GMs. I'm not in prison, lol. They chose me. Does that make you mad? Probably does, probably because you watch anime and critical roll.

I AM the person who had a decent point, numnuts. Same guy.

>tank boss

It's stupid either way; at least the scenario I constructed is funny.

>and at least I don't use reddo spacing

The Internet existed before Reddit, dickweed. The fact that I put an extra space between what I quote and what I type is due to my time on Internet message boards and making use of the quote option; an extra space between a quote and a reply tends to look much better. As I still frequent message boards more than Veeky Forums, I don't feel the need to break the habit.

>Found the problem.

Ah, I see. Noodle-armed male nerd roleplaying as Conan the Barbarian, that you're okay with; remove the Y chromosome so instead it's Valeria of the Red Brotherhood, and suddenly it's a problem for...what reason, exactly? Valeria kicked ass in "Red Nails". Are you shitting on "Red Nails"? It's generally regarded as one of the best of Howard's original Conan stories.

It really does come down to a fear of girls, doesn't it?

Wow, it's like you found a way to force the entire campaign to center around you so that you could play the race you wanted. Self centered cunt.

I only raise one flag. I like that you recognize even that these are not individually things that are perfect predictors. It's a good list if you remember the 3 strikes. If you have 3 or more of those flags, chances are good anyone would find fault with you and someone in the group is going to suffer your existence. The lower half (depression aside, unless they meet you and immediately start going about their mental state) are auto kills for me. The upper half is just leaning towards obnoxious.

I'm a Kitsune Monk.

>It really does come down to a fear of girls, doesn't it?
Youre projecting again, and it's funny. Not wanting to watch a fat neckbeard try to roleplay a female, doesnt meant I'm afraid of women: on the contrary, I'd rather hsve one in the group instead of him playing the female character.