NO FUN ALLOWED 5e

This. If nothing else, you have to ask yourself: do the other players deserve to get dragged into a drama pissing match? There is no scenario where they applaud you for 'fighting the man' here.

Make a normal character and play as he wants. But bring food, eat with your mouth open and make orgasm sounds.

I like petty revenge as much as the next person, but other people are going to end up getting burned because you didn't know when to just walk away instead of feuding.

I'm just going to assume the hate is justified. Fuck the taking the high ground OP, do what you want. Players can get over it. Hell, be a total asshole while playing the game and refuse to take his narrative seriously by making a murderhobo rape character, and when he finally snaps, ask him how it feels when someone trashes his creations just as he did to your character. Call his shit out and at least piss him off before burning down your bridges.

I don't give a fuck about high ground or the other players but at some point, you just have to ask yourself, is it worth it?

Because I can tell you, you can not win against a DM, especially against a bad. He won't be able to get the revenge, he may very well be deserved. The more likely outcome is that it will only generate more furiosity for OP.

Assuming OP wasn't actually making a shitty character that was making it difficult for the other players and the DM, and he's actually telling the truth in that the DM is just being a cunt to the character he created?

Yeah. Fuck him. Generally most people when seeing two people fight will remain neutral and passive unless it's very clear one side is wrong. If the GM is a cunt and the others players side with him, fuck them. Why should I care? If the other players can see why I was pissed off and had a pissing contest? Great, we might play again in the future.

If you're saying you think the OP will fail and end up just being more pissed, I doubt it. If the DM actually banned OP's character for being "sass" at the NPCs, then he sounds like the kind of cunt that would get majorly pissed if you ruined his game with full retard characters or breaking the system.

>I'm really looking for a way to break this next asshole's game.
You have to be 18+ to post here, fagit.

I know he would get apeshit crazy in meeting an OP character. He is the petty, over-reacting, empathic sociopath sterotype you can expect from just about any half-assed drama queen.

I want to show the other players that. I've know the guy for almost ten years now.

I have thought this through. I just need the right plan here.

It's six AM. I checked my shit out at the counter at midnight.

Hi, satan.

In that case, look into this.

>However, if you want to piss your dm, just go for divination wizard with lucky and gnome. Look up and take all the save or get fucked spells. Trust me, you will be very obnoxious really fast.

Bonus points for Tasha's Hideous Laughter.

>ruining a game because the GM is a meanie
You'll just get kicked anyway, player's ain't worth shit. Just leave and find a better group.

First post, best post.

Maybe your dm thought your character was a Mary Sue due to a lack of flaws?

That's not really what being a Mary Sue is about. You can't even really be a Mary Sue unless the GM makes everyone like you for no real reason of his own volition.

My dude, just let it go.

Let's say your GM did deserve it - do the other players? Let's say that a couple of them try to intercede on your behalf to make peace - he can turn on them too for "being in on it".

This is how you get ousted from the group. And if you've been playing with basically these same people for 10 years, what makes you think finding a new group is going to be easy if you burn connections to your old one? Word gets around about asshats. You're not likely going to be the cool greentext hero, so just man up and move on.

>hideous laughter

tee hee hee...

That Tasha's Hideos Laughter sounds hilarious, honestly. I think I'll do that. He likes to take himself seriously

>I'm really looking for a way to break this next asshole's game

You really seem like a cunt. Have you tried talking to the DM outside of the game like an adult.

>I've passed mine a long time ago

Why the fuck haven't you ALREADY left?

Or you know just find another group

>breaking his game

he will just ban whatever retard shit you want to do

OP is That Guy.

Ideally, you need to find a way that doesn't bother the other players but triggers the GM hard. Only the guilty should suffer.

You're right, that DM was a bitch, he should have just had the NPCs slap her ass down if she was being a sassy cunt.
But seriously though, just leave the group

Be an Grey Elf Conjuration Wizard. Turn in your familiar for Abrupt Jaunt,

For feats, grab a combination of Arcane Manipulation and Versatile Spellcaster (With Practiced caster) to cast whatever spells you know, and spontaneous divination so that you can cast whatever divination spells you *don't*.

For spells, the typical; Tasha's hideous laughter, Celerity, Enervation, Polymorph Any Object, etc.

These are the only answers OP needs.

Wait, shit, didn't notice that you'd specified 5e. Ignore me. I don't know how to break that one nearly as badly.

Get any "Conjure lesser ____" spell that lets you summon 8 different 1/8 level creatures. Play them normally just to waste time. Or get a lot of use out of Raise Undead or experienced hireling fighters.

The only thing you can do is take advantage of the RAW and either force him to deal with the bullshit or keep pointing out to the group and insinuating that he's a shit DM for going against RAW.

Ultimately just give up though. Not much you can do to ruin the game for the DM if he has the power to just change the rules because he doesn't like them.

>ctrl f rope trick
>no hits
It's like Veeky Forums doesn't even know the basics of raping a d&d game. Play a wizard, put a few extra points on dexterity, and spend all of your gold on rations and a sleeping setup. Whenever you get into conflict, instead of fighting cast Rope Trick, run away, and wait for the problem to get bored and leave. Remember to take a long rest in your rope trick cabin as well so that you don't have to worry about spell slots.

One thing I forgot to mention about this is that waiting in an invisible extradimensional portal for a week is a really good way to fuck up a DM's plans and make him think on his feet.

Rope trick lasts 8 hours at 8th level. Plus monsters that can see invisible will ambush the hell out of you.

8 hours is enough for a long rest, and therefore another rope trick with net neutral spell slots.
I will admit to probably incorrectly remembering it lasted longer than that at lower levels though, I'll double check later when I have my book.
Also the DM wrecking their setting to include shit-tons of invisible monsters counts as a win in my book.

>t. Cuckolds who let themselves get fucked over, then skulk off and hide and pretend they are "taking the high road" to rationalize their pussified actions.
I would say: play a rogue. Get into battle with some enemies when one of his snowflake DMPCs is along. Try to draw the monsters to you and him with Persuasion or Intimidate checks to goad them, but if you can't, it doesn't matter. Wait until the DMPC is at low health, then sneak attack him. If he is in melee with another creature, it counts for sneak attack.

You may as well be announcing your thread is bait. Everyone laugh at OP.

Portals only have one surface, don't they? Just make the portal face a wall, such that the creature would have to be smushed up against the surface of the wall and look upwards just to see the portal's 'open' side.