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>kindness kills the /dpol/

Fly you fool, and stay fly.

You guys are all wyrmlings. Here's what you should do.

Find yourself a nice, tall, untamed mountain up north. It's gotta have caves. Lots and lots of caves. You set up a lair in there. In the caves. Hopefully with exposed lava flows. If you can't find any, you should make them. It brings the lair together.
Start checking out the local villages. They don't have to be big ones, any village will do. All you need to do is check them out. Just take a flight over one day. Put the fear of Tiamat in 'em. Do that a few times for added effect.
Start demanding sacrifices. Gold, livestock, the works. If they're the short ones (not the other short ones. The short ones with all the tentacles on their weird lumpy faces), make them give you all their weird metal crap. If they're the tall pointy ones, make them give you the trees. They love those trees.
Now the adventurers start coming. You CAN'T kill the adventurers. Don't eat them, don't roast them too bad or melt them or freeze them or whatever. You gotta rough them up, but DON'T kill them.
So you get the hoard, and the adventurers, and the scared villagers, and the caves with the lava. Now, you give your brother some of the lava as a gift. Lava's hard to come by. It brings the lair together.

This is now a hammerspace dragon thread.
Pozt your favorite micro dragons who eat planets

Sorry old timer but not all of us want to play the unceasing monsters of destruction anymore.

It's way more effective to manipulate the fools into giving you a position of power and only becoming the aforementioned monster to force them to give you your shit if they discover you.

One does not get as old as I without some knowledge on these matters my undead friend.

In case you're curious, I discovered what happened to my stolen Eye of Vistoma. A sorceress had contracted an old Devil that has a grudge against me to steal it as I napped.

That's exactly the type of thinking I'd expect from someone who associates with mabliks.

Could always make a murial of him made of molten gold, can never go wrong with gold.

I took to mingling with humans and I've found that living amongst them can be very rewarding. The human I am living with strides every day to train and become stronger, hoping some day to be able to defeat me in a friendly one on one spar. He is formidable, I will admit that, but for the moment I am able to overwhelm him. He gives me basically anything I ask for, and I've grown tired of trying to give him impossible tasks because he seems to always accomplish it somehow. I told him to get me a flying bacon egg scramble pie, and he disappeared for six days, returning on the seventh with a pieromancer and the pie in question.

I think he's got some kind of obsession with me though, he gets really weird when he's rubbing my belly, pressing himself against me.
Should I ask him about this? I do enjoy the feeling, that and when he rubs the top and bottom of my snout with his hands.

M Drake or Fem drake?

M, Young, Black-scale, Not a setting where scale predetermines your traits.

Also what the fuck is a level and why do humans obsess with getting them.

Have I really been asleep long enough for drake to no longer be an insult? By Tiamat next you'll call them a Wyvern.

It sounds like the mablik is attempting to mate with you.

The question is when did you aquire this human, and the answer to the level conundrum is a way of showing how powerful they are, for example a level one human will be weaker than a level twenty human.

>mfw live in a cave in a volcano
>mfw gemstones everywhere
>mfw local village is 7 miles away and they mainy pasture sheeps and cattle
>mfw town full of virgins cuties cuz of their religion
>mfw comfy af
Get on my level

That's physically impossible.
It - the parts they... ??

It's been almost four years now. When asked about how many of these things he's collected he says he's working on his sixteenth.

What do you draganons do for fun?
I like to shapeshift into things and explore or guard my hoard, sometimes I guide adventurers inside a dungeon I made and go through it with them, only to kill them off myself one by one, leaving the last a quaking puddle of fear. That or have them beat the dungeon.

Did you get him when he was a child? And a level sixteen on his own should be a fairly easy fight, a group of then working in concert however. ...

No, he was older than a child, but not as old as a fully grown human. He keeps talking about how he wants to be like me and become a dragon, but the dragons he keeps showing me aren't dragons at all, they're people in armor with long pointy sticks that ride into battle on the backs of dragons. I find it amusing, but he can barely hold onto me when I'm just standing still.

OP I would suggest traps AND a harem for your somewhat generous brother. Follow it up with tricking adventurers into attacking his home so that he may see the traps in action. If he falls to the adventurers then, well, you have yourself a free lair and he shouldn't have trusted a fellow dragon.

>not trusting your fellow dragon
>not going into battle with your contrasting hothead/cooldude dragon brother
>not going full double dragon on tinheads
You need to go back to ribbit.

Why not a harem of traps?

Guys, I need help.

So I'm from a plane where we dragons used to be allied with humans. Yes, I know, most of you find that shameful, but our humans were freakishly good magical conduits, and if you had one on your back you could see through his eyes and basically get 360 degree vision, as well as easy spellcasting in any direction you want. Unfortunately, about a thousand years before I was born, we sort of betrayed them in a desperate attempt to save ourselves after the Elves invaded. Our Elves are really powerful. I hate it. Anyway, the Elves banished all the humans to another realm, and nobody has heard of them since.

Well, not quite nobody, actually. The Elves recently invaded us, and they're going to banish us to the same place. They sent me through first. So I go flying through his portal and hit some sort of trap and my wingbones snap in four different places. So, I'm fucked, right?

Well, no. Because the humans are somehow still alive, and they fucking fixed my wing! Not only that but they've been feeding me steak and chicken. I'm eating like a king here. And their entire world is absolutely nuts. They have buildings as tall as mountains and I'm starting to wonder if the dream I had about being in a giant flying machine was actually just a dream.

Why would they be so nice to me? We betrayed them, shouldn't they be extracting revenge?

Ahhhhhh I see now, he might be talking about the high elf dragon rider knights, fairly nice (for high elves) and it's not as bad as it seems although I wouldn't choose it personally, being a gold dragon being another's "property" wouldn't work for me.

Humans don't hold grudges like dwarves do, and maybe they forgot we even existed and only have stories of our Cooperation.

How small are you?

Guy with the human friend here, it's because humans are weird creatures that obsess with large things. To you, your humans probably see you as some kind of celebrity, and as long as you keep being nice to them they're going to shower you with free stuff. Just be careful, you might grow too accustomed to it.

Could be fun. Like I said though, he's incapable of staying on my back, he keeps slipping and falling off. Should i just carry him? I have before, he seemed to really enjoy it. It took some force to pry him off of me when we got to our destination though.

If the dragons in your realm are weak enough to be defeated by elves then you deserve to be defeated.

And mabliks are dull creatures. They forget things after just a handful of generations.

At what time did mabliks begin to ride us? This is pathetic.

That would be a most wonderful prank to play!
What?

They don't seem to remember us at all.

About six and a half feet at the shoulder and twenty feet long snout to tail. Most of that's tail, though.

I'd say that's the case but they seem more confused by me than anything. There's one man (apparently named an "operative", a title I haven't heard before) who does most of the talking to me and he always seems a bit off.

You should see our elves my friend. Their children can cast fireball with such power it can destroy a building. Their adults can do far worst.

>being this much of a pleb that you can't even super stack
Enjoy being a slave to the action economy, bitch.
>b-but im a powerful mighty red
And your triple standard treasure is very nice. At least you'll make a good trophy and armor.

Well I've been sleeping for a few centuries so I have no idea when it started.

My next answer depends on the dwarves still hating us, so if you could clear that up for me that would be splendid.

Use it as an advantage to gather riches my lucky brethren! You don't have to compete with any of our kind for territory. You may be on the short side but still, think of the possibilities!!

Mortals are stupid as fuck.

Do you know how popular my church is in the kingdom?

They see me as The All Mighty Wyrm who shall purge their enemies and bring them eternal prosperity.

And it was so easy too.

All I did was burn down some cities as a dragon then turn into a human to "do battle with the evil beast" with some illusions.

I also killed the king back in dragon form so when I 'Killed the dragon and consumed it's powers' they made me the king.

Some accusations of the adventurers aiding the beast and boom:Revenge,a scapegoat and a kingdom full of loyal followers.

Now I couldn't have done that if I just terrorised the little idiots,could I?

They're going to banish the rest of us within the year.

You could always ask this "operative" to provide some tomes containing history of the land you've landed in, maybe study the economy and start up a business telling stories about home.

>operative
Oh. OHHH, you're the first in this world, aren't you? They don't know how to respond to you, they're trying to determine whether your intentions are good or evil. That, and it's easier than letting you become overwhelmed with thousands of voices that all want to talk to you because you're "new" and they're excited to meet you.

Dwarves? Did you reply to the right dragon?

Now's the time to secure yourself as something they want to help.

youtube.com/watch?v=2eQMsNzecEs

WHY IS THIS ALLOWED??

I suppose I could try.

I sort of figured it was something like that. He's probably one of their king's trusted advisors.

But I don't know what the hell to say to him to get him on my side. I'm fairly confident that they'll panic if more of my kind start coming through, but any lie I tell will be impossible to coordinate with my brethren.

Should I just tell the truth?

>Implying you don't associate with filthy giths
Please red. You have no credibility left. You might as well become a steed for your yellow-skinned "allies".
Fuck any red who ever had a mortal on his back.

Grill it with fire.

I have an unusual and somewhat disturbing problem, my peers. I've been living alone on my mountain for the past three millenia. I like the vibes. I raid out occasionally, but not frequently, as I have amassed pretty much everything I need. That, however, does not stop adventurers and other pests from attacking my lair periodically in the hopes of slaying me. I'd say I average about 3 attacks a decade. Inevitably, I kill them, go over their gear, sort and store their possessions. I have entire caves filled with their stuff.

The latest "attempt" was a lone human female. She had some basic weapons and armor, but I don't think she was even capable of defeating a bugbear, let alone me. After stomping her, I went through her gear as normal, and aside from the usual camping equipment, humanoid food, sources of light, etc., she had twenty six carvings, most of stone, but five of them were of wood. They all depicted humanoid penises, in erect positions.

They're kind of disgusting, and for the first time in my life, I thought "No, I don't want this in my home". Yet every time I try to discard them, I find myself unable to. They're sitting right there in a pile outside one of my exits, and I just can't bring myself to scoop them up in a bag and drop them in some random forest somewhere. What do I do?

>There are actually dragons so shameless that they would allow a mablik to ride them

I bet the grains your masters feed you taste good.

Posing as a mablik is only acceptable when you want to humiliate them by not even beating them in your true form. All you need to do is pretend to be some sort of guardian and offer your protection in exchange for whatever you want and they accept. Eat a few virgins to encourage them and after one or two generations they'll treat you like a god.

Be honest. Them being in the know will go miles to avoid a panic scenario when more start to appear. It'll give them a chance to clear out some space for you guys to stay at while you work out what you're going to do from then on out. If you cooperate with them, they'll work out well for you in the end. I suggest trying to become more familiar with your "operative" and take measures to try to become his friend. Having a human friend's a lot of fun, and they tend to shower you with gifts if they like you.

Can't go wrong if it's the truth, although I recommend you go into detail about how bad things were going when the betrayal happened, and state that you carry none of the feelings of your forebears when it comes to betrayal (apart from cultural norms)

I guess I'll try that out. Hopefully there's a good moment for me to tell the story.

>there are actually dragons so beta that they can't even touch a human, let alone combine forces and become even stronger than they would be alone.
I bet that kobold dick you suck on makes you feel like a real slut.

On another note, the majority of the riders are partnered with red dragons who, hear this, are repenting for past crimes. Food for thought.

Create a metal box,lock the things in the box and then throw it to somewhere you don't go very often.

Only Reds would be reckless and stupid enough to frequently get caught then pussy out in order to get spared.

>human comes in
>"hey draganon, I made dinner!"
>"oh, sorry, there's only one plate, but don't worry it's a lot of spaghetti, we can just share the plate!"
>tries to do that pasta noodle thing from the movie about the talking togs
>go along with it and let him "kiss" me on the snout
>stare at him and wait for his next room, a good thirty seconds or so pass
>he gets up and leaves the room, red faced
Did I do something bad?

How old are these dragons? They sound painfully naive. I'm half expecting to wake up from my next nap to hear they've all been turned into furniture.

No you did not. It wanted you to reciprocate its perverse attraction. Killing it is justfiable here.

Killing it was always justified.

Meanwhile a gold like me can just sit in their hoard relaxing, maybe melting the odd adventurer or two.

The oldest I've seen was about 800 years old, partnered with some elf Nobel.

Far too young to be any of my offspring then.

Wyrmligs these days have no dignity.

>human asks, "all you do is sit around and play video games and eat all my snacks and roll around in the grass outside. Don't you have a hoard to make?"
>human gets mad when I make a hoard, "what the fuck are all these beer cans and snack wrappers doing here! Don't you know what a trash can is!?"
>human gets upset when I start hoarding trashcans, "these are public property! Are you trying to get me in trouble!?"
Humans are weird

Fire, and lots of it.

A 'level' is a soul-enhancement which provides a significant boost in power along some well defined lines. I have actually spent a goodly amount of time examining the concept alongside a few humanoids, and conducted a long-term study on their creation and acquisition.

I have even determined that even a true dovah can acquire levels by performing the proper rituals. I myself am now a 6th level Sorcerer as well as an Ancient Silver Dragon.

These levels enhance specific parts of your metaphysique. My own levels in Sorcerer have enhanced my spellcasting abilities far beyond what my blood should normally be able to contain.

Despite being merely ancient, in raw arcane might I exceed the capabilities of even the greatest of wyrms. My strength and size have not grown to match, but I find it an acceptable trade.

It is also a fairly good way to spend the centuries. These 'adventurers' have created some fairly ingenious tools. I keep my entire hoard on my person at all times - truly, the best defense a dragon could ask for. And by selectively rewarding my companions, I have recovered an incredibly large amount of treasure from the various quests and journeys our group continues to get pulled into.

It is in fact quite interesting. I've only been at it for a century or so at this point, but I have yet to be bored of it. When a particular group gets too old or becomes tiring Is imply move to another material plane and inevitably find another who are bout to begin a grand quest.

I suspect the hand of a Divine.

My human is trying to encourage me to do something called "Grinding."

We went out to the woods one day so he could show me what it was, and he proceeded to run and chase down packs of wolves, bears and other creatures and just slaughter them mercilessly. He had an idea that if we play-fought, he might be able to get levels just by fighting me. If I beat him, can I get these levels from him?

I want to help my cousin. He's got something of a ridiculous physique (see the attached engraving), and I don't think a female has ever expressed interest in him.

Consequently, he's always bragging on at prodigious length about the number of dwarves he's eaten, and heroes he's slain, and all that other claptrap. It's all very tiresome, but don't mistake me, I don't think what he's doing is healthy and that he needs to come to terms with his admittedly poor body image.

I haven't nailed it down yet, but I believe this "grinding" is how they gain so called "experience points" and when they gather enough of the things, they gain a level.

Tell him that if he puts on some muscle it will make stronger hero's wish to fight him, bringing him more glory and the like.

Maybe if you level him.

Explain to him that he doesn't need to overcompensate for his body and that it's,although weak and somewhat unhealthy,not the worst that exists.

Hell,if he went East enough,i'm sure he'd find some others kinda like him.

So let me get this straight.

If I go out into the woods and just kill the fuck out of a bunch of wild animals I'll start being able to throw lightning and whatnot?

Or even better. If we fight and I let him overcome me he gets stronger, and in return I defeat him and I become stronger. We can just take turns punching the hell out of eachother to get stronger??

Yes.

Try it and report back!

Will do!

Remember Don't anger any powerful forest spirits .

Please do so,my friend.
I too,participated in this acitivity after reading about it in the royal archives.

After a 1 month 'vacation' in some foreign forests,some more studying and some manipulation,I became what the mortals call a level 3 Bard.

I never realized my ability to seduce could improve but this experience definitely changed that.

Correct.

Let me explain the process in a bit more detail.

When a creature dies, or in some cases is merely defeated, there is a release of soul energy. In the case of death this is obviously the entire soul, whereas for mere defeat it's a smaller section which I hypothesize is a result of some kind of soul-domination acknowledgement. With the proper spells it is of course possible to observe the process.

With certain individuals, small fractions of this soul-release actually bind onto their own soul, which begins to grow a new section, what I call a 'budding level node'. Each one requires a larger amount of soul-stuff (Which the adventurers call "experience"). When enough is acquired, the node resonates at a particular frequency and is completely absorbed into the host soul, which expands and grows to match it.

It is quite a wondrous process to behold with active soul sight. There is a rush of golden light which erupts in a pillar around the target.

The trick is, that only certain individuals seem to have the capacity to attach 'experience' to their souls to create level nodes. For everyone else, the 'experience' is as inert as unactivated magicite.

Not quite, as I said it appears that the ability to absorb and make use of experience is unique to a certain subset of the population. However I have observed people gain and lose the abilities throughout their lives. I suspect that there is a divine hand at work here, moving people into a position where they can be used to advance a divine agenda or mission, and granting the ability to acquire 'levels' as part of the process.

The main component seems to be a requirement that you go out and intend to join an adventure. That desire is paramount in being chosen to acquire the 'levelling' power. I noticed it myself when I made the resolution - I found a group much too quickly for simple chance to allow.

>All of my Draconian brethren are attempting to "level" and "grow in strength"
>Implying we aren't magical perfection at birth.

Never have I felt such disappointment in my own kind.

I've killed around 6 chromatic great wyrms who had the same idea. They began the combat laughing at the puny ancient silver and his puny mortal companions, and ended it begging for either their lives or the sweet release of death.

Well, we gave them one of those things.

This

Yeah, I know the feeling that some kind of divine intervention is leading adventurers until I roast them. Almost as if they were listening to some kind of "master."
Alhtough a being that devine is probably just playing games with them for it's own amusement.

Typical that a Silver would be too weak to fight on his own and would seek others to assist him.

I didn't realize how hard a human can hit with a stick!

We decided to spar with one another just to get an idea of our respective strengths and I offered to let him take the first attack against me. He picked up a stick and struck me three times in rapid succession, and I felt my body just collapse to the floor. He looked absolutely terrified and he quickly came to my aid, administering some medicine. He hugged me and began to apologize, and I felt awkward. Then suddenly he lets go of me and has this shit eating grin on his face. I asked him why he looked so happy all of a sudden and he replied "Just levelled up. Roleplaying experience."

Surprise grandpa,but we're not all complete loners like you.
I personally believe mortals are useful as meat shields but some may come to...Like their meat shields and start caring for them,which by the way is very weird but to each's own,I suppose.
Plus,when they die,you get all their treasure and equipment.
Now,why don't you go back to your cave and enjoy your twilight?

>calls others weak
>gets his ass farmed on a weekly basis
>doesn't know the power of jolly co-operation
Oh boy yet another plain jane basic bitch dragon that has fire breath, some basic melee attacks and a limited selection of spells. Don't worry, we're not gonna waste your time, youll be dead in like two, maybe three rounds tops.

Hello my fellow dragons!
I have a question for you, my scaled bretheren!
How do you protect yourself from vulnerabilities?
Like, I need some help and examples. Can you tell me what kind of dragon you are, your vulnerabilities, and how you typically protect them?
This information will help me sla- i mean save myself from those evil, evil adventurers who are so weak that they can't beat fellow dragons like us and they are so stupid they could never form an elaborate ruse to get information.

Age only brings me more strength little silver, which is why I need no companions to assist me. As the Dracolich would tell you, the Twilight is not something I will ever experience.

I will grant the Silver Carenath some credit however. His findings are very close to something else I discovered a few millennia ago.

From my prescriptive you all are young but as one that remembers our age of glory I am most disappointed in the most recent generations

Child, I could kill you in human form in an antimagic field, try not to antagonize your betters.

Ah, this is very good experimental evidence! I have long suspected that the divines can grant additional experience for major character-defining moments or statements which correspond with their portfolios! This is very helpful!

I have seen a mortal with 18 levels singlehandedly destroy a mountain. Another founded a religion. I've seen four ascend to godhood, 3 become angels, 4 become fiends, and far, far too many become villains of such power than a wyrm would quake to behold them.

Underestimate mortals at your own peril, for I never shall. While they do not have our natural gifts, they have incredibly potential.

Age brings wisdom and strength. I have grown in leaps and bounds as I recently was reclassified by the local mortals as a Young Adult shortly before I ate a knight that thought to slay me.

In other news I managed to bring the local kobolds under my dominion so my strength grows every day!

Should I be worried if my human's level is higher than mine? by like six levels now...

Not sure I believe you.

The last guy that told me that ended up being nothing but bone in a year or two.

On the upside of the whole situation,I was there to witness it and thus the first and only to get his treasure.

Ego is a problem among our kind.We may definitely be better than those pitiful mortals but when we start spouting off that we're immortal is when the problems come.

As long as you are bigger than him, it's usually quite easy to convince them you are still stronger than them.
But get on leveling quick, before he outlevels you and becomes cocky

No, no, this is normal.

So as a dragon, your soul is much larger and stronger than your human friends. As such, it makes much more experience for your soul to grow, whereas your human friend has much more room to expand quickly.

I suspect this is some some of divine balancing in the experience system. I have notice that, for the most part, adventuring parties tend to remain within 1-2 levels of each other, whereas my natural strength meant that my six levels and natural power put me in roughly the same power level as a mortal with 25 or so levels.

I suspect that our natural strength counts as a sort of "phantom levels" which I have come to call "effective levels". Mine is 19, so my natural strength as an Ancient Silver counts for 19 levels.

I suspect yours as a young dragon would be in the 7-10 or so range, so if your human is six levels higher than your 1-2 levels that would be understandable.

Immortality is a ruse to lure the foolish away to their fate. I am not immortal, and even undeath is not true immortality.

But I have long since outlived the lifespan of my color, and the Twilight will never embrace me from a discovery I made many an age ago.

On the plus side, the human's been collecting rare seeds from the battles he's been fighting. Eating a handful of them at a time can improve one's physical or mental parameters, and he's giving me a lot of them to make me more "Meaty", whatever that means. I feel a bit heavier, but it also feels like I could shrug off anything. I guess it makes sense with then, so we're pretty close. I think I got lucky with this human, he's alright.

I am old, and tired and not as strong as I was. But these bones still remember their ancient strength and days of glory when the world was young and Io and his three children walked amongst us. Do not so readily dismiss the possibility of twilight for forever is often not as forever as it may seem

You keep hinting at this "discovery" like it's a goddamn plot hook, so fuck it - ill bite.

"Oh great red dragon, what is this discovery you have made that makes you so awesome and wonderful?"