Your party has dun goofd and awoken an ancient evil

>your party has dun goofd and awoken an ancient evil
how fucked are you?

What is that, a circuitboard?

ancient evil holding cells.

Depends on the evil, dont it?

Lots of things that used to be a sin aint on the list anymore. If we unleash the ancient primordial spirit of gay martiage and eating fish on a Friday, who was imprisoned after swearing to reduce Babylon to ashes, its sort of a non-issue.

>eating fish on a Friday
Which religion forbids eating fish on Fridays?

knowing my universe, it's ancient, but kind of sucks.
Like, yeah, bronze age babylonians thought it an unkillable god of evil because it would slowly chase its prey like the monster from It Follows and their bronze speartips and torches couldn't hurt it, so they trapped it with a cave in or something and left inscriptions.
The lesson we keep learning is "everything sucks and nothing matters. The only reason you remember legends as being legendary is because you didn't watch them fail constantly yourself"

it's more of
"the age of men is over" type of ancient evil.

>the age of men is over
Leave it to the PCs to unleash feminism on an unsuspecting world.

Yeah i dunno, why did it want to kill all men? How long has it been in there? Maybe it'll emerge and thank us for killing all those fucking neanderthals, and can live happily ever after with Homo Sapiens.

>Werewolf: The Forsaken

Well gee wiz, I guess we did it again guys.

My DM puts ancient evils under every rock lake and sewer system, it's just Tuesday for our party

We ask to be rewarded for our service.

It'll kill you last.

first is traditional. That way you don't have to endure the horrors it will inflict on the rest of the world.

Jokes on it. The age of men ended when aliens showed up and uplifted humanity into their civilization.

The rest of the civilization is a bit annoyed at all these sealed ancient evils that keep being found on Earth, confused as to why they only ever went after humans and impressed that ancient humans managed to defeat them.

Yeah, what the hell? What's even the point of Cthulhu worship anymore?

If it's any other character the Bodwinkle the Autistic Gnome Alchemist they're fucked.

If it's Bodwinkle the Autistic Gnome Alchemist then despite being the one who caused the release of the ancient evil by fucking up a critical combat roll, he'll survive, as it's probably the like 9th Ancient Elder Evil he's released unintentionally in what became a running joke for the DM and the party.

The Austistic joke came about as a joke as I'd always nail my skill checks but fuck up and fumble in combat. I made an offhand joke that he must be autistic and it stuck. He became a party favorite with everyone waiting for the spectacular fuck up as a result of a bad roll (with the GM deliberately waiting for him to fuck up). After accidentally (through poor rolls and sadistic GM) releasing two ancient evils it became a running joke in game that Bodwinkle fucking up would sometimes release elder evils (including dropping an expensive flask of brandy, dont ask, still dont get the logic in that one). Despite all this he always survives (again with GM fiat or other players intervening with magic and healing.

It's kinda depressing to think my most successful and loved character is only kept around because he is an autistic fuckup who the others find funny. I've made what I consider to be better characters but they just want Bodwinkle.

Oh well, can it be redirected to fight the other ancient evils we are currently overwhelmed with? No? Well, one more reason we're going to die soon. At that point, we can't really care.

...

>Play it cool like it was intended from the begining

>Hey! You! Like, Mr.Evil!
>Me and my guys over here happen to release you from your chains and gave you freedom
>However, we didn't do it for the sake of kind heart so we expect compensation that would feel proportional to your greatness!

They probably are going to fight it and win.

it's a Necron sarcophage.

Grab some warm milk and sing him a bedtime song.

No problem, we're always recruiting new minions that way...

underrated