Seeing the true form of a God instantly vaporizes you

>instantly vaporizes you
What are some twists on that for Gods of Wind/Earth/Water?

Well, because people don't see the true forms of gods very often?

How can one person be so aggressively stupid? What the fuck did he think would happen?

In D&D nymphs had that ability, if you saw them naked.

They were too beautiful to look at.

What if my dead Christian mother promised that no curse of Christian women dead should harm me?

God turns you into apples.

I always liked the story about Moses asking God to show himself, and God refusing. But saying he will show himself to that mountain over there.

And when he does, the mountain is gone because it bowed down before the creator of all.

Because players don't get to hang out with gods often for some fucked up reason.

Protection from good and evil, mindblank and other spell.

>Zeus is the jew god

End your life

Yes, your DMPC is very cool. So badass and "Alpha".

Meanwhile, everyone who actually enjoys fantasy knows that God's are not infallible and can be fought or killed, as they have been in mythology from Egypt to the Greeks to India to Japan and beyond.

Yahweh is infallible

If seeing Zeus was lethal, how did he beget so many bastards with mortal women?

Why do you think he was always turning himself into swans and bulls and golden showers before he got his begat'n on?

He never showed them his true form, artard

By taking other forms.

He showed his true form to one of them, because Hera tricked them into demanding it.
They disintegrated.

Of course they were pregnant at the time, so Zeus took them fetus and sewed it into his leg, and then gave birth to Dionysus.

Hera is a total cunt desu.

Point to me the place in the Pentateuch that says YHWH is infallible.

Israel literally fights YHVW and wins.

>Israel literally fights YHVW and wins.
Never heard about this, what scripture is that in?

biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Genesis 32:22-30&version=NRSV

You'd be a cunt if you were the goddess of marriage and couldn't stop your husband from fucking everything with a pulse.

>Why doesn’t this happen more often?

Yahweh doesn't interact with us anymore.

>If seeing Zeus was lethal, how did he beget so many bastards with mortal women?

Zeus always came down in the form of animals (for the sole purpose of having unprotected sex with mortal women) and at least one time (I believe) he was a golden cloud?

In some versions it's an Angel. And other interpretations say it's a metaphor for Jacob (renamed Israel by his opponent) fighting the world, or struggling with his faith.

Pure ideology.

some OT stuff where jacob dreams he sees a ladder, then sees god or an angel depending on your version, then asks for a blessing, gets denied and wrestles him. eventually the deity gives him good luck and the right to make a kingdom.

I prefer my deities as being so immense and alien that anyone who gazes upon them is severely stressed out.

In what myths is that the case? Not Psyche and Cupid.

>Greek myth
>Roman myth
These are probably the myth of Zeus and Semele.

>Hindu myth
Likely Krishna's Vishvarupa form, his supreme form, encompassing the universe. Only divine sight can stand to look at, or understand this form.

Gods are scarce and mirrors are plentiful.

>Greek myth
>Roman myth

Only for Zeus/Jupiter, IIRC.

Zelophehad's Daughters

Exodus 12:89 (KJV)"Know ye that The LORD(YHWH) is infallible"

>God isn't infallible
>That means I shouldn't be punished for immediately chimping out and going in swinging as soon as I see it

>Exodus 12:89 (KJV)"Know ye that The LORD(YHWH) is infallible"
>89
Tryhard.

And that was the way it should've been, so he is infallible

That’s pretty fucking metal.

Hey, remember the time five women sued God and won?
Numbers 27:1-11
www.patheos.com/blogs/slacktivist/2015/12/14/that-time-when-five-women-sued-god-and-won/

Wind - still just vaporizes you. Alternately, "blown" (teleported) to a random location on the same plane.

Earth - petrified, or killed as plants explode out of them.

Water - choke to death (or unconsciousness if you're a merciful DM). Or all your blood explodes out of you to rejoin the god.

No religion uses ONLY the Pentateuch, so that's kind of a weird question.

Anyway, Deuteronomy 32:39

Because it's retarded and adds absolutely nothing of value to the setting. What's the point? It just makes every god a instant kill, not because they're powerful or do anything interesting but because you just decided it.

It's more commonly thought of as an angel. Especially given that the term Malakh is used to describe the being which is angel in Hebrew. Wikipedia says that various Rabbi identify it with Samael. Though it would make more sense if it was Phanuel given the place they fight shares a name with him.

The guy proves you're ignorant, and you call him a tryhard?

>if you hold me worthy of honour, deck out my chamber with your heavenly fire! Kindle a lovelight in the clouds, show incredulous Agauë the lightning as my lovegift.
> He danced into Semele’s chamber, shaking in a reluctant hand the bridegift, those fires of thunder which were to destroy his bride.
Eh, I don't know
Doesn't seem like his true form to me. Just his thunder powers in demonstration.

>Exodus 12:89
He's a tryhard because, as I recall, Exodus 12 only goes to 51 and his quote is made up.

Because indiana jones trope is overused.

You need a better Bible, then. I've got one right here, and it goes to 91.

yeah, a black man is pretty immense and alien

>everyone who actually enjoys fantasy knows that God's are not infallible
You don't make plurals with apostrophes you dumb fallible shit.

I would be /very/ interested to see the full text of your Exodus 12.

>seeing something can kill me
Unless the god in question literally radiates as much pure thermal or light energy as a continously happening nuclear bomb detonation, no, it shouldn't because that is fucking retarded.

This is about as retarded as Lovecraft making it so that even coming in contact with his creatures is enough to drive me insane. No it fucking ain't, if I look upon something really fucking weird then I just don't understand it and get confused, such as an optical illusion. Or, if it has REALLY trippy visuals, maybe feel nauseous, but that's when it maxes out and when I REALLY stare at it despite noticing that it's really fucking weird to look at.
This equals out to "knowledge of something = death and doom", and "knowledge of something = death and doom" is by far the most garbage plot device ever devised and the fact that it shows up so often in ancient religions should EXACTLY showcase this to you. Those guys were fucking hacks writing-wise and used every mary sue bullshit they could get their grubby shit-covered fingers on to sell their stuff ever better.

See now that I, even I, am he;
there is no god besides me.
I kill and I make alive;
I wound and I heal;
and no one can deliver from my hand.

That is not infallible.

you seem to suffer from severe autism

...

It's probably where all those other well known Biblical phrases come from.

You know, "God helps those who help themselves," "love the sinner, hate the sin," "cleanliness is next to godliness," "this too shall pass," "God moves in mysterious ways," and "to each according to their need, from each according to their ability."

That kinda stuff.

Either you've never read Lovecraft, or didn't comprehend what you were reading. I advice suicide.

People didn't tend to go nuts in Lovecraft's stories merely by seeing crazy shit.

Hell, someone who saw Cthulhu wrote down his experience long after it, and was killed in an assassination.

As for destructive theophany, it depends on the cause. Zeus, for instance was thunder and lightning. So, yeah... you command someone to turn into a lightning storm, you're going to get zapped.
To quote Metamporphoses (Garth, Dryden, et al):
>The mortal dame, too feeble to engage
>The lightning's flashes, and the thunder's rage,
>Consum'd amidst the glories she desir'd,
>And in the terrible embrace expir'd.

Other examples include Krishna, who was pretty much a case of something being too complex to understand. Something that overloads the visual cortex, and makes it shut down.
And then there's the appearance of God's face making mountains bow down before him. Which is a somewhat different matter.

No, they just blind you.

>to each according to their need, from each according to their ability
HOOOOOOLD THE PHONE
Isn't that some fascist/communist slogan?

I thought that was the book of Poor Richard.

It happens all the time. You just don't hear about it because the people it happens to are vanished.

Nah, that's if you saw them clothed.

3e turned them into two separate powers, and I think they had to activate them.

Communist, and yeah. It's why it's with those other ones.

Of course the Bible does have "If anyone is not willing to work, let him not eat." which Lenin called a socialist principle. And also "And distribution was made unto every man according as he had need." Because the early disciples did live in a commune.

So the way to fight nymphs is to get a 10/10 lifting hardbody and run around naked save for a pair of thermal vision goggles.

What about "Blessed are the cheesemakers?"

It's "Blessed are the Greek."

How come there's no stories about THE God showing up and kicking the shit out of all the pagan/old gods in the sky until only he's left in the middle-east?

Well Exodus is YHWH mocking the Egyptian Pantheon. And Samuel has the idol of Dagon bowing before the Ark. Job mentions how God keeps Leviathan and Behemoth (both Canaanite deities) as pets. Jesus slaps demons around a few times...

Because if done correctly it'd be about as engaging as this comic.

Christ, do I hate that Mary Sue
Why do people flock behind badly written mythology guys?
We should make our own religion. With cool battles and character development.

Those guys are pretty vocal about their dislike for anime.

>everyone who actually enjoys retarded powerwank anime
ftfy

It must be a horrible existence to be a good-aligned fey whose beauty cannot be gazed upon.

Because you want to know what happens when you see something from beyond all mortal perceptions?

You see the colour pink.

>WE

Book of Job. YHVH succumbs to the sin of pride through the temptations of Satan, and goes out of his way to test Job's faith instead of saying "Go away, Satan, I will prove no point to you!"

"Can God make a boulder so big even He cannot lift it?", yes he can, and Satan is that boulder. YHVH's greatest weakness is his pride, which I'm sure is a very easy weakness to exploit.

How could anybody try and stab that hotness? Those antiquity scrubs would likely fall to their knees and worship dat ass on the spot IRL.

>We should make our own religion. With cool battles and character development.
I'd be satisfied if we could port the Adeptus Mechanicus to IRL and get it recognized as an actual religion so I can have all my expenses for retarded tech shopping and spare parts for my tinkering projects count as tax deductible charity stuff for my religious organization. Now THAT would be a hallelujah moment.

Iron Chariots

Why doesn't she use her shield? Why doesn't she swipe their legs? Is she just a dumb bimbo cosplayer?

Doesn't happen with (pagan) "gods" because they're just mortals who became so powerful they temporarily ascended, but they're not invulnerable.
(biblical) angels on the other hand are not to be messed with. My character's alchemy and divination teacher lost his eyes and almost his sanity too in meditation when he got a bit too curious and tried to see an angel. His eyes were healed with magic but he's still blind.

My interpretation: she's supposed to protect these people, her weapons are for fighting monsters
she has a divine purpose to protect them and save their lives and can't go against that

I use this Lovecraftian trope a lot too.

He probably meant manufacturers of Dairy Products generally, not just cheese.

in my setting, the creator doesn't need to assert dominance. It's like writing yourself inside a story where you make the characters your bitch, why would you do that ? The characters, written as you've written them, serve you as you've intended, and can't do otherwise because they do what YOU write.
That's how it works with God in my setting; it made life for purposes known only to it, and evey existing being serves that purpose willingly or not. Also there's no need for divine intervention because God basically programmed reality, and instead of programming "A = 1" then going "wait I don't like this" and change it to "A = 2", why not just write reality so that "A = 2" from the start ? That's why divine intervention seems stupid to me.
When you want to change something in a story YOU write, you don't write yourself as a character in that story who makes the changes you want. You just change the writing and boom, the story is just how you wanted.
No need for intervention.

Dammit user do you really have to shatter my faith right before I go to church?

If she can't harm them and exist for the sole purpose of protecting them, then she's not a god but a servant or an angel.
That's why is retarded, writing gods as regular characters who are just overpowered and expecting "character development" is just anime fanfiction.

>It's like writing yourself inside a story where you make the characters your bitch, why would you do that ?
Some people actually do that

If your god must be an Unstoppable, Uncaring, Unfeeling cosmic Monster, I think you're better off not worshiping it.

Because that was the Satan's purpose.

If you create something to test worthiness, why would you avoid using it?

Wouldn't it instead be prideful to go "No, I will not submit him to testing, because I don't want to find out the answer"?

By his own point, you should just say "Go away, Satan, I will prove no point to you!" and ignore him.

Most gods aren't that ugly.