Meanwhile, on Swashbuckler Veeky Forums

Fuck i new i should have bought more rum while i was at the store.

Made a fucking buffoon of myself today.

Cut the rigging in the wrong place so instead of carrying me up I just stood there like a retard while a bunch of pirates closed in.

I can't remember the last time I payed for rum.

How foolish of you

what are some good and rather simple swashbuckling system? The only 3 I have in mind is 7th Sea,
Honor+Intrigue and All for One

>I can't remember the last time I payed for rum.
What's your secret mmhmm?
Only way i can think of is mooching off others or being a smoking hot chick with a push up bra and short shorts.

It happens to everyone in the beginning user
I usually try to come up with a good enough catchphrase for the situation, so it makes up for the failure and buys me some more time to come up with a backup plan.

Did you at least manage to comically kick one of them into the water?

Happened to me once. pirates kill me crew but took me in seein how i was the cook and all. Taught me how to properly to the good ol slash and fly.

>out on the town, cavorting
>find a masquarade
>steal a mask, enter
>hit it off with a masked lady with beautiful, curled black locks
>whisk her away from the party, retire to the back of a theatre for some illicit "conversation"
>get slapped
>hard
>she scolds me for ripping her bodice and storms off
>ask a maid on the street why she might've reacted that way to what was, if I may say so myself, a perfectly and passionately executed move
>King Humphert raised bodice taxes again so they can't afford so many new ones anymore
What in God's name does that fool monarch think he's doing? This could seriously threaten the livelihood of bodice-rippers throughout the country! I propose we seriously consider a dapper sort of swashbuckling Revolution against the old-fashioned monarchy and their stodgy goons. Who's with me?

When you barged into the villain's manor, do you allow him to finish his tragic organ solo or go straight to the sword fight? Asking for a friend.

So how many times can I pull the ol' "I'm not left handed" trick before it gets old?

Who needs bucklers when you have a cape?

Three times.
>Haha! I'm not left handed!
>HaHA! I'm not RIGHT handed either!
>HAHA! I can wield THREE BLADES!

Ahou me hearties!

That's why you hold the rapier in your teeth.

How would you characterize your friend’s enterance? Is he a cheeky rogue or might you view his barging in as being born of his hot-blooded impetuousness? If the former, delay the combat for some additional impish misdemeanors like helping oneself to the pantry & cellar of his foe and also to sully with muddy boots his rival’s favorite chaise while he broods at organ. If the later, he probably stormed in sword in hand and should have-to immediately, careful that stunned villain might be without a sword but is almost certain to carry a poisoned knife.

Biye me will ye? Ye puppy killin oyster sucker!

Let the organ play itself while your friend duels the fiend

Who here /not left handed

Would Dumas be Swashbuckler Veeky Forums's Tolkien, meaning every setting is basically not!France and it always involves the not!30YW as the central conflict?

Better yet, start fencing with the villain’s chief henchmen. Then when the arch-fiend joins the melee, you duck out of the sword fight to start playing the organ while the Master clashes with the lackey.

Is the Cardinal a papist?

Yarg, I be me ship's minstrel, but me oud seems to've broken. What be a good replacement? What instruments do /SBTG/ like to hear when they be listening to sea shanties while treadin' the high seas?

>Is the Cardinal a papist?
I mean... technically not, I guess. Didn't he arrange for France to join the Protestant League against the Holy Roman Emperor and the Papacy that backed him? But then again, wouldn't the very fact that he was cardinal not only make him subject to the pope but technically a candidate to become pope himself?

I honestly have no idea whether he can be considered a papist or not. Is this your way of saying "depends on the setting"?

He was a "politque" a guy who put politics over religion. He backed protestant during thirty years wars because he wanted a weaker hapsburgs

Swains > Swashbucklers.

What ho, fellows!
Have you heard this rumor about a woman disguised as a swordsman?
Preposterous isn’t it?

He was not only a "papist" but a militant one. He persecuted protestants in France with big zeal, crushing their last refuge despite the english trying to sabotage him. One of the most famous depictions of Richelieu has him personally supervising the siege.

He also paid some protestant kings from a couple of frozen shitholes so they invaded the HRE in times of turmoil. But that's because he was a pragmatic guy. Several protestants backed the emperor during the 30 years war, anyways.

By the way, the musketeers are most likely all "papists" as well.

I’m no Huguenot, but if you’ve gone to seminary, spoken Mass in Latin as your profession, and are a high official in the Catholic Church, you’re a papist. Historically, a lot of Frenchmen were papists, including untold hundreds of thousands who weren’t nearly as well qualified to be Catholic as the Cardinal. My post was not meant to be prejudicial.

The Church is an excellent vehicle for intrigues, being a major pillar of society, I include them in plots whenever I can.

But that's where I hold my rose!

What boots do you guys wear for duelling? Thinking of going barefoot if that means I'd slip less often and have a surer grip.

Who among yeh dares to cross me and me six braces of pistols?

>cuckler
>not case of rapiers

What a foolish villain you are.

You should see the new corset tax.

I wear the shoes that my rival had sent over after our last row. His handwritten note indicated he was concerned that I might slip and break my head before we could reach a final decision, given the poor condition of the soles as I ran away. I was so deeply moved I sent a gift along with my Thanks, a wide belt that’s all the rage at court. I feel like it was appropriate, after I pantsed him on the High street before running away.

>carrying more than your father’s sword
The King’s armorers turn out perfectly suitable steel and there never seems to be a shortage of it about when a fight is on.

I don't know, I think it's saucy in all the right ways.

Though those types tend to prefer the clam to the sausage, you know.

Even better ;have you heard about that knight disguising as a woman? How queer!
better double check every time I court and make love to a lady

Saucy?! I’ll...
Not suspiciously lose my temper. That would make no sense for a gentleman such as myself to do.

By what right do you lowborn scum pursue this ill livelihood? While we, the gentry, risk our lives making this world safe for all mankind, you see fit to seduce our daughters, embrace sin, and shirk even the slightest responsibility.

If this behavior continues, I will have no other course but to outlaw Swashbucklery on pain of being drawn and quartered. My son has provided me with enough bastards, I need no further illegitimate heirs from my daughter in addition.

>t. buttblasted corrupt Baron

I'll continue robbing your tax caravans, throwing the money to the needy, and running circles around your hapless sheriff, villain.

And when it's all over, your chandeliers properly swung and your curtains heroically torn, and you are rightly thrown in the dungeon, I'll kiss your daughter before a glorious sunset.

I have no need for sheriffs. My lands are secured by the people, who are paid by the head of each criminal in gold. Tiss an effective system.

>lowborn
Ah, it appears that the local smith has forgotten his history! How quaint that the peasant has confused his place. We ARE gentry, sirrah, unmoored from our lands by unrighteous theft. You can't afford ripped sleeves like ours on peasant's wages -- which is all you can have, incidentally, as I have little doubt you're not true gentry but instead one of those New Men who think themselves lords because they managed to drum up enough coin through silversmithing or labor that they deserve their own land, even land stolen from the true Church for that matter. Gentlemen are born, not made, sirrah!
>drawing and quartering
Your laws are as fraudulent as your title, pretender. If I ever see you and your puffed-up goons I will dispatch you all like the bastard dogs you are!

That were ONE TIME, sir, one time only, and it was at Carnivale for a jest! There is no need to go on about it as though it were not. In fact I note with pride that my mark was successfully taken as a complete rube by my artful disguises. 'Twas noted by him often before that night that I have not much hair on my face, but mark you now how he has not mentioned it since! So should be the fate of all who enviously mock my beauty.

You do know that a buckler is strapped to your arm leaving your hand free, right?

>still arguing about fucking bucklers
You guys are stuck in the 14th century lmao duel me at dawn you fucking plebes I'll show you what's up

One time more than the number of opponents you kill using that trick.

How dare ye associate me with such lowborn filth who have the gall to pose as those wrought by God with the intention of ruling the world. My House was formed in the days of the ancient Empire, and we have ruled and protected these lands since the walls fell. It is displaced and unwanted rogues such as yourself who sow chaos in our ancestral lands with no legitimate claim of ownership.

And you are wrong. Nobility is not born and it is not granted by any Lord. Only God makes it, and only God can grant it. I rule by divine right.

Fantasy bucklers maybe. Historical bucklers were held. Think a dinner plate with a handle on the back.

>I rule by divine right.
>Not having earned your right to nobility deeds of valour.

You, sir, are lower than the most dastard villain.

>>>/nobl/

>with no legitimate claim of ownership
Ha, aside from our inherited titles, you cur? And only a just king rules by divine right: therefore you not only bastard but impious.

>moans about bucklers
>posts a lantern buckler
You almost had me there, Sherrif-poster. How about you return the lands to the rightful rulers who are dutifully away serving our country 'fore I shoot at your belt.

A-ah! You fight like a Dairy Farmer!

Gentlemen, are noble outlaws permitted in this company?

Long as you're not.like I'm cool with you

What the hell does a lantern shield have to do with Sheriffs, you nonce?

Noy-jitat, go learn some real curses!

Excuse me, is this the milk and succubi dimension?

My main problem seems to be ta for the life of me, the words escape me when it matters most!

Not a single one liner as cutting as my blade, or a flirt as smooth as my...my, uh....Curses! See what I mean?

Whatever shall I do? Chandelier swinging will get your far enough in this livelihood but without a properly silvery tongue I shall never graduate from small town lovable rogue to dashing hero.

Just yell in Italian in England, Spanish in Germany, French in Spain and so on.

Everyone else will assume you're saying something eloquent as long as you move fast and finish your deeds before they catch on.

I shall be the second for this advice. Women can't get enough of my exotic tongues, if you catchest my entendre.
Another option is to play a bit of a brooding sort. I've recently seen a play of about a taciturn freelance sword and carriage-driver who spoke very little and allows others to remain befuddled as to his true motives: a hero to be certain, but a figure of great mystery. When he did speak, to threaten a rival or offer a token of affection, it was all the more compelling, and his wooing of the damsel in the play was quite convincing for it: several of the ladies in boxes adjacent to mine were visibly quite enthralled by the young actor as well.
So, if you cannot speak effluently with wit, speak less. Remark only when you have formed in your mind the whole statement, and save these only for the best of circumstances. For heat-of-the-moment situations, remain ever silent; rise not to jibes about muteness, but allow your sword to speak for you. Best of luck to your heroism, goodman.

Virgin detected, if you'd ever ripped a bodice you'd know that that just means cutting the cord holding it together. Last I heard there was no debilitating string tax, faggot.

Yes I'm challenging you, rapiers and daggers at dawn behind the Luxembourg!

>Would Dumas be Swashbuckler Veeky Forums's Tolkien Yes, but
>meaning every setting is basically not!France and it always involves the not!30YW as the central conflict?
No. One of Dumas' many, many advantages over Tolkien is that he was about 4000% more prolific (not even an exaggeration, conservative estimate if anything), and only the first of the three D'Artagnan novels even really involves the Thirty Years' War. Swashbuckler Veeky Forums would have at least from Queen Margot (the first of the Valois Trilogy) to The Knight of Maison-Rouge (the last Marie-Antoinette novel) to draw on. Instead of Games Workshop we would have Sabatini as the second big property people based games on.

Swashbuckler Veeky Forums would be unambiguously and objectively better than actual Veeky Forums is what I'm saying.

>One of Dumas' many, many advantages over Tolkien is that he was about 4000% more prolific
>more literature = better literature
shiggy diggy. On the other hand, I do kind of want to get into Dumas, especially from reading this thread and this post. Are the D'Artagnan novels the right place to start?

Can't speak for Dumas, but Rafael Sabatini is fun to read.

On another note, fellow condottieri and sellswords, any tips on getting an idea of how trustworthy your employers will be? I mean if they were all gentlemen, they could handle their affairs themselves.

>Are the D'Artagnan novels the right place to start?
Either The Three Musketeers or The Count of Monte Cristo, I'd say. Make sure to avoid abridged editions.

>any tips on getting an idea of how trustworthy your employers will be?
They will probably not be trustworthy at all, ever, but as a noble gentleman you must serve them honorably anyway until they actually try to fuck you over. Since you're a superior individual, you can win out despite such handicaps against the petty and conniving, or at least your death while fighting them will be glorious!

You cur! Obviously the women are purchasing bodices whole-made and prefer not to have them repaired by gossiping tailors! You'll taste my blade this very dawn for your lies!

>Obviously the women are purchasing bodices whole-made and prefer not to have them repaired by gossiping tailors!
>implying a lady can't send her serving-girl out to buy new cords for the bodice
Truly, your slanders are equal only to your ignorance. I don't regret the gruesome fate in store for you.

Yar, what be the finest in life?

Let him finish, of course. That's the way a dashing hero should do things.