What to do in the Halls of Mandos

helped unite the north and east to defend against the goblins and armies mordor sent to erebor along with gloin. They then destroyed saurons secondary seat in dol guldur in mirkwood with the help of galadriel.

Where the fuck is this written?!

They do their best to avoid engaging Feanor.

BfME2 isn't canon

Still a better fanfic than sahdow of war.

Masturbate and post inconspicuous threads on Veeky Forums asking what they should do while they wait.

>the Chad Glorfindel vs the virgin Balrog
Someone make the picture!

>Make money
>Fuck bitches

I thought that Glorfindel and LOTR Glorfindel were different dudes that just so happened to have the same name, just like there were two different Denethors and Ecthelions.

>That was the last time in those wars that he passed the doors of his stronghold, and it is said that he took the challenge willingly; for though his might was greatest of all things in the world, alone of the Valar he knew fear. But he could not deny the challenge before the face of his captains; for the rocks rang with the shrill music of Fingolfin's horn, and his voice came keen and clear down into the depths of Angband; and the chad Fingolfin named the virgin Morgoth craven, and lord of slaves.

fingolfin died but he went out fucking hard, and it's easy to win when you're a vala

>took not

>took fucking not the challenge willingly

every fucking time I google it up I wind up on one of the misquotes and don't check it properly and what fucking moron leaves out the not there

this must be feanor's work

fucking feanor

It's one of those things with one incredibly obvious and clearly correct solution that people will argue about forever, like whether or not balrogs have actual wings, or what elf ears look like.

>It's one of those things with one incredibly obvious and clearly correct solution that people will argue about forever, like whether or not balrogs have actual wings
Agreed, it's incredibly clear from the text that balrogs don't have wings. I don't even understand where someone would get that idea from, it's not like you ever see a balrog fly anyplace. Hell, when they fall, they don't even do it "with style".

Fight the real Mando's

Or the size of a balrog, or their general capabilities. Like how LOTR's one balrog was a major "OH SHIT" and in the Silmarilion Hurin, a "regular" dude, soloes 12.

>Wasn't Gandalf technically sent to the Halls of Mandos since he "died"? I'm not 100% sure what happened there.
Yup. He had to hang around for a bit while they sent his clothes out to the cleaner (Wizard Robe / size grande / 20% wool, 40% cotton, 30% polyester, 10% acrylic / Dry Clean Only) but once they were done he was sent straight back.

He actually would have gotten back in time to save Boromir from his own idiocy, but he'd misplaced the cleaning tag and the chinese elf lady at the counter claimed she didn't remember him (even though he's been bringing his robes there for millennia).

Everyone was just much more badass back then.

Could've done without Turin's moping, though.
So yeah, you slept with your own sister. Boo fucking hoo. There are dragons to kill, you emo bastard.

Wait, Hurin fought Balrogs? They were present at the Nirnaeth Arnoediad, but he only fought orcs and trolls.

It's a tragic story, we needed a cheap and barely reason to make it end in the death of every character

The Sons of Hurin is still one of my fav pieces of the Silmarillion tho

I don't even think one could solo so many Balrogs, I mean, even that autist of Feanor, who was stupid strong, could solo only 4 or so before getting slain himself

No, Tolkien's notes make it quite explicit it is the same Glorfindel, now reincarnated.

Hurin never defeats a Balrog. He is in fact captured by Gothmog, who admittedly seems to favor the "wear him down with endless waves of cannon fodder" approach rather than fight directly.

No, he does not; it actually goes to some of the metaphysics of the setting that the only people who beat Balrogs are elves and Ainur, and the only people who beat dragons are men (or partial men like Eareindil, even if he does ultimately choose elvenness)

Tolkien reduced their numbers quite dramatically. Of course, by the later notes and letters, as I understand it, he was even to the point of considering Ungoliant as Ainur - he seemed to be rationalising stuff and cleaning up loose ends in a way that I really am glad he didn't finish.

Balrog armies are one of the things he took out. I can see why, yeah, but.

There's no indication Feanor defeated any of the Balrogs he fought against.

That reminds me of another fun way to pass the time in the Halls - talk about how great and awesome Gimli is, and Galadriel's gift to him. Even after a literal eternity, Feanor will be able to teach you new forms of profanity!

Truly a prime example for elfdom

>Silmarilion Hurin, a "regular" dude, soloes 12
Hurin's not a regular dude though, he's a Middle Earth equivalent to a legendary "mortal" hero like Achilles or Samson. And just like the legendary exploits of our own epics and poems versus the more grounded modern history, the Silmarillion is "larger than life".

I don't see that discrepancy as unintentional. After all, JRRT was acquainted with both the modern definition of a hero and the actual fact of heroic feats, but also a great lover of epics and mythology.

Literally the worst elf.

>and the chad Fingolfin named the virgin Morgoth craven
My fucking sides

Yeah, and not to forget, his was of that kind of Man from which the Numenoreans come from

One of the themes of the works is things diminish in time. Human kings once lived thousands of years and had Jesus powers like fucking demigods, Aragorn is legendary for living past 200, knowing Lay On Hands, and killing a lot of Orcs.

Elves once could challenge the single most powerful non-Eru thing and barely lose, now they are also just at “kills a lot of Orcs” tier.

Numenoreans got powered up by valar bullshit.

Fuck it, have a bump.

this. he's got A LOT to say about crafting and can't take social hints

Glorfindel really was one of the realest niggas in Gondolin

youtube.com/watch?v=6jJkdRaa04g

What ws the name of the elf that killed a balrog with his helmet?

>Wasn't Gandalf technically sent to the Halls of Mandos since he "died"? I'm not 100% sure what happened there.
No. He got sent to the timeless halls, I.E. Illuvatar's place beyond the world.

Tolkien was actually on the fence about that, but eventually decided that every Elvish name should be unique, so it must be the same guy.

>Elves once could challenge the single most powerful non-Eru thing and barely lose
Look I'd be first in line to suck Fingolfin's cock if he were real, but Morgoth wasn't the most powerful of the Valar at the time, and the battle wasn't exactly close. Fin went in there knowing he was fucked. That's what makes it even more awesome.

Angband was not actually torn down by the Valar themselves, but got demolished when hit by Fingolfin's massive brass balls as he fell.

Could you give me a quick rundown on what he did?

>led troops during the battle of Gondolin
>fought like a massive fucking champ against overwhelming hordes of orcs until a dragon showed up and squashed half his company
>cut his way through the orcs out of the city
>protected the rest of the elves fleeing the city as the rearguard
>balrog shows up, surely putting an end to him and his house
>glorfindel challenges the balrog to a fucking fight and shanks him right in the gut by a cliff
>in a final act of malice the balrog grabs onto Glorfindel as he falls and both tumble down the cliff, glorfindel dying the process
>pop up in the topical Halls of Mandos and get to cut the queue because he's the realest nigga Mandos has seen in a long time
>sends him back to Valinor to be recruited by the maiar MI5, powerlevel considerably increased
>go back to Middle-Earth to assist the remaining elves in their war against the dark lord(s)
In the LotR books he's the elf who finds the fading Frodo and sends him back to Rivendell on his horse. Glorfindel's form in the Unseen realm shines like the strongest fucking beacon you've ever seen and the nazgul flee the second they see him.

Realest fucking elf

Read the tapestries of the Ages. Depictions of History being made by the Wife of Mandos that stretch back to the beginning of Arda.

I don't know about elves but I would try to fill it up with my own poop.

Ecthelion, noted to be a friend of Glorfindel

...

Fap.

Tolkien identified the problem as early as 1938 with Glorfindel's role in the Fall of Gondolin dating as far back as 1916-17. He finally returned to the in the last years of his life. You read what he wrote in the Last Writings section of The History of Middle Earth vol 12 The-Peoples-of-Middle-earth.

The Gondolin Glorfindal and the LOTR Glorfindal are one and the same. He's killed by the Balrog at Gondolin covering the escape of others, ends up in Halls of Mandos, and is "recycled" fairly quickly by the Valar. While he had left Aman, he'd done so for reasons of love and fealty rather than revenge. He also hadn't participated in "the rape of the ships".

Glorfindal is later sent back to Middle Earth during the 2nd Age before the fall Numenor and with the specific mission of supporting Gil-Galad and Elrond.

And to forestall the usual trolling question of why Glorfindal wasn't made part of the Fellowship, the Council's plan was to rely on stealth.

Having a "disguised" Maia like Gandalf in the group was already bad enough. Adding Glorfindal to the group would only compound the problem because, as Tolkien explains, his self sacrifice had raised his spiritual power to almost that of the Maiar.

>the virgin golfer
>THE CHAD TYRANT

Melkor's probably the best fantasy character out there, and pussy elf-lovers can suck his mountain-sized cock.

>Look I'd be first in line to suck Fingolfin's cock if he were real, but Morgoth wasn't the most powerful of the Valar at the time, and the battle wasn't exactly close. Fin went in there knowing he was fucked. That's what makes it even more awesome.
Nah, fair point, he didn't expect to win... but was still able to give Morgoth a fight. That by itself is something.

Silmarillion's full of lots of contradictions. Seriously, one page might be based on writings from the early 30's, and the very next page may be based on writings from the mid 50's, and the second half of it on Tolkien's WW1 writings.

Chris pretty much says at the start of each book that they're collections and interpretations of his father's writings and not solid canon. There are contradictions, which is to be expected, and Tolkien himself was nearly OCD with some of his work, going back tons of times and redoing it as he never believed he was writing good enough. RIP Tolkien.

On that note though, I don't recall Hurin or even Feanor even killing "!2 Balrogs." Hurin killed about 90 orcs and trolls, but it's stated he only killed that number because Morgoth wanted him alive, not dead.

Melkor was at his weakest when he fought Fingolfin, and it's still said Fingolfin was nowhere near strong enough to kill him.

When Melkor first came to Middle Earth he was literally stronger than all of the Vala combined and could tear mountains down with his bare hands.

>He also hadn't participated in "the rape of the ships".
Fucking Feanor.

>>the virgin golfer
Excuse me, but golf wasn't invented until the third age, when the chad took smacked the virgin goblin king golfimbul so hard his head flew off and landed in a rabbit hole.

>"the rape of the ships

This reminds me of an old picture from /b/.
Drawn in MSpaint, on request.
"A nigger rapes a toilet until he explodes".

>and the only people who beat dragons are men (or partial men

I've noticed this, but I don't think it's a deliberate thing by Tolkien. What would he have meant by it?
I think it's just the result of a couple of stories that reference real myths of dragon slaying and then a couple of stories that are by their nature human centric.

But then maybe dragons represent greed and fear (due to their hoarding and hypnotising powers) whereas balrogs are mere agents of Evil. So it's more thematic for humans to kill dragons, but for elves that lack greed and fear to the same extent it isn't as triumphant.

It's more akin to the Rape of the Sabine Women, in which rape refers to the latin for taking, and not sexual violation per se, though in the case of the Sabines both apply.

Not so with the ships, unless Tolkien made some pointed omissions from the story.

well at some level the earthliness of dragons does tie them to the faults of men, while the more elemental fiery malice of Balrog is more fitting for the faults of elves.

Its worth noting that the elflord most frequently associated with fire was defeated by a squad of Balrog, and the elves that defeated Balrog only ever did so by going out in a proverbial blaze of glory. So at some level the Balrog are the fitting foe for the fiery, unearthly passions of elves, while the materialistic dragons are the fitting foes for mortal men.

I don't disagree that tolkien didn't set it up this way explicitly, but one gets the feeling that his intuition for themes and motifs as they recurred throughout his work was such that he understood the appropriateness of this arrangement.

>It's more akin to the Rape of the Sabine Women

While you're correct in saying that Tolkien was using the term in the manner it was used in classical literature, you shouldn't have bothered explaining that to the spergs here.

Mention rape and they all start sniggering like middle school students, which is what most of them are.

I just wanted to imply that Feanor fucked the boats before he set them on fire

It does seem tangentially in character, if he thought it would get him his rocks back he'd do it in a heartbeat

>I just wanted to imply that Feanor fucked the boats before he set them on fire

t. sniggering middle school students

Earendil is half-elven and chooses to be become and elf though. I'm not sure how that squares with it all.

>and chooses to be become and elf though
Was that before or after he killed Ancalon? But yeah, it seems Mr Tolkien didn't think this through. Shit worldbuilding/10, get back to your Beowulf.

>Earendil
Before, I think. But I don't think Tolkien cared one way or the other. The dragons were killed by men because men were narratively convenient. Not because men and dragons are some metaphysical rivals or whatever.

good one, user.