Outside the limits of a busy and prosperous city you notice three homeless beggars who promptly implore you for alms and aid.
The Monk looks like a wandering beggar monk who obeys strict ceremony and rituals.
The Leper looks like an outcast leper driven out from the city limits by force.
The Thief looks like a homeless vagrant: possibly a thief or a gypsy.
What do?
Give what I can to the monk, ask him to buy food for the 3 of them with it.
The Monk: Sir. My vows forbid me from handling money. I ask only for alms for myself but do think kindness to the others would be a good thing.
...
Keep walking. do not acknowledge they exist them, do not make eye contact.
The Thief: Boo! Boo! Boo!
>The Monk
>The Leper
>The Thief
Do they have names hovering above them or some sort of special title like in an MMO or something?
>Peasants.
For that matter how do we know they're homeless? Are we members of the city council in charge of planning permission and land registries?
How do we know it's outside the city limits? Do we have special powers to determine the city boundaries? Or - can we change them? Do we have power over the very city limits themselves? Unlimited power?!
>That sudden realization
>You are the mayor of a SimCity
>Using your all powerful might you throw yourself high into the sky
>You gaze down on what you created
>What was once unused grassland you have made a thriving metropolis
>But it has become unclean and must be purged
>With a flick of your wrist you summon a tornado to tear through the city alleviating it of its towering skyline
>A volcano bursts in Central Park incinerating the area for miles around to be used as new croplands
>And Godzilla approaches the city to just murder everyone
>Soon there will be no homeless problem
>And you can start anew. Maybe you'll get it right this time?
Offer money in exchange for a story from each of them.
I like this idea, though I could see the monk saying something about how they can't exchange services for coin or something equally retarded.
The Monk: Sir. My vows forbid me from handling money. But I have no special story anyway. I am just a beggar monk, the second son of a noble house gone into holy orders. But that time is behind me now.
The Leper: I was a noble knight admitted into holy orders. I worked in a hospice to care for sick pilgrims. I started to doubt in goodness and beauty and then contracted leprosy. I was soon kicked out of the city limits.
The Thief: Money first. Story later.
Well, if the leper was a knight, then could they handle money on the part of the monk, as the other person suggested?
>Real me
Pic related, scurrying off while scared that they might jump me or give me hobo diseases. Go home and ruminate on the homelessness crisis for a few minutes before watching anime. Proceed with life unchanged as a prosperous middle-class professional.
>Fantasy "right answer" me
Hand them some cash, hear their stories, be highly gregarious and remember that I made 3 friends that day, later start running a homeless shelter in their memory.
Ill go into town and buy food for them myself.
>Go home and ruminate on the homelessness crisis for a few minutes
We are makes of our own fate. Nothing to ruminate about.
Walk past without making contact, weapons half drawn. Fucking Chicago.
The Leper: Unfortunately, as a leper I am not permitted inside city limits or inside city markets.
Give them all money, even the thief. Worst case scenario, he doesn't tell a story and scamper off.
Ask if there's any further assistance I could give.
Although if the monk rejects money, then include an offer to buy food on his behalf.
The Monk: I accept your offer for food. I suppose I should tell you more. I used to be a gambler and a lecher. But my family would rather have me accept holy orders then defame their reputation. Sometimes I miss wine and song. But the monastic life has a peace and value of its own.
The Leper already gave a story.
The Thief: I used to be a serf but ran away to the city. Then they kicked me out too. I don't believe in the law. I steal from the rich and give to the poor. If you kill me, you're little better.
What is the Thief is the Thief so worried about people up and killing him for? Is he hiding some treasure?
The Thief is an outlaw which means anyone can legally kill him.
Tell the thief that as long as he doesn't consider me "the rich" I could care less about someone with 500 gold losing 10 to a poor family
I then proceed to tell the leper to wait in roughly the same spot, and take the monk into the markets, where I buy him food, before then buying some wilderness survival stuff, such as a bow, some cheap arrows, a fletching kit, a bedroll, a flint, a dagger, a pack, etc, along with some medical things, then return to the leper to give them to him to make his life as an outcast easier.
I could easily have become a hobo if I was born to the wrong parents, or in the wrong zip code, or fed the wrong food, or given lead-painted toys, or exposed to lots of pollution, or abused, or not treated for my illnesses, or fell into depression, or was given the wrong advice, or attended the wrong elementary school, and so on. So much of this is simple luck. Even people who are highly-intelligent and motivated don't always get what they need to succeed in life.
If telling yourself that you're perfectly self-reliant makes you feel like a big competent person, go for it. Just don't expect me to buy into it; I grew out of that kind of arrogant rationalization a long time ago.
I take a shit into their begging cups
The Leper draws a sword: I am a Leper and an outcast and as a knight I used to serve in a hospice. But do not mistake me for a knave. I still have a sword and training!
He found the right companions then since neither one is allowed to collect on his bounty.
I kidnap all three of them and force them to fix all of my ancestor's fuck-ups, making them fight for me until they go insane.
I managed to check half the things you listed in first two decades of life yet made it into middle class anyway. Luck can be mitigated. Though it has little to do with self-reliance.
>Monk cannot handle money
>Leper cannot go into city limits
>Thief is untrustworthy
I ask the Monk to accompany me into the city to buy food and aid for them in exchange for guiding me around the city and if the thief is willing I will give him extra money if he gives me intel on the “underground” society
The Thiefs Intel: The surest way to get into the underground community is to get the undergarments of a gypsy crone. They believe warlocks can use such personal affects to cast spells on them.
What do?
>Kill all 3 of them.
>Kill all guards as they emerge.
>Kill all townsfolk
>Burn town to the ground
>Ravage Countryside
>Find capital of kingdom
>Kill King
>Kill all Kings subjects
>Burn Capital to ground
>Burn entire countryside
>Burn neighboring kingdom
>Kill neighboring king
>Kill neighborning kings subjects
>Destroy all surrounding kingdoms
>Destroy entire continent
>Take out Katamari
>Roll all ashes into continent sized Katamari
>Roll continent onto Katamari
>Roll other continents onto Katamari
>Roll world onto Katamari
>Roll nearby planets onto Katamari
>Roll sun onto Katamari
>Roll entire solar system onto Katamari
>Give Katamari to father
>Father eats it
>Kill all life in the solar system
>justanotherday.jpg
Alright, let me be more specific, is there a thieves guild around these parts? Any jobs? Can the guards be bribed? Any useful information you can give would be appreciated
The Thief: The church runs a nunnery. The nobs are very in debt to goldsmith loans. The moneyer is printing out adulterated currency on the sly. And they've instituted new weights and measures just in time for the harvest. A couple of farmers also have private querns.
Thank you, I turn to the Monk and ask him to point me in the direction to the moneyer and take my leave
Tell them monk that my religion opposes his.
Burn the leper to prevent an outbreak.
Shank the vagrant in the throat before he can utter a curse.
Another incident prevented by your friendly neighborhood watch.
The Monk: Sir, you have me confused with the Thief.
I offer them swords and the name of God, which was, is, and always will be TRUTH. Come, let us walk the path of holy violence and transcend this false reality.
What kind of Monk doesn’t know where the moneyer is? Ok then I give what’s left of my sum and ask the thief where the moneyer is
The Leper: Sir, during my service in the hospice at the city I had met many noble Saracens who believe in one true God. But I cannot participate in or condone such erroneous heresies.
OOC: A Monk is going to participate in you doing crime with a Moneyer who prints off adulterated coinage.
>OOC: A Monk is going to participate in you doing crime with a Moneyer who prints off adulterated coinage.
That should be:
OOC: A Monk is not going to participate in you doing crime with a Moneyer who prints off adulterated coinage.
Only a fool denies TRUTH.
The Monk: "Hearest thou what these say? And Jesus saith unto them, Yea; have ye never read, Out of the mouth of babes and sucklings thou hast perfected praise?" Moreover, "Verily I say unto you, Except ye be converted, and become as little children, ye shall not enter into the kingdom of heaven."
This looks an awful lot like a quest thread.
The Leper because the monk and thief can probably already garner sympathy but the leper is sickly and in need of aid, likely being ignored or scorned by others. also he does a fuck-ton of damage.
"Fools deny TRUTH, and Cowards do not take up a sword in His name. Pity the Fool, for they know not that they exist in a lie. Strike the head from their shoulders so that they may be closer to Transcendence. Scorn the Coward, for they mock TRUTH with inaction. Deny them a quick death. Make them suffer, so that they might learn in their next life."
So I ask you, be you Fools or Cowards?
The Monk: The son of man did not come to this world with a sword in his hand. He came into this world with a sword on his tongue. And yet his apostles were told to carry swords with them. For son of man's words were a sword, for they divided things because his words were truth and they cut away at foul hypocrisy. So do not carry a sword with you because it is the sword of the son of man because it is not. Carry a sword on your tongue that is the word of god and only carry a sword by your side to deal with bandits and persecutors. Do not carry a sword for violence because the sword of the son of man was words of peace.
Hold up, can I see their begging permits first?
>Receives the best piece of intel ever
>Is dissatisfied