Relaxing in an inn on the outskirts of civilization

Push it down so I can finish more before discovering it and complain out of paying.

UMA

Smart man

"Only one piece of mistery meat? Man, this is a fancy establishment"

Push the goblin chunk back to the bottom of the stew and keep eating, pretending to have not noticed.

well pretty sure you are well in life you scoundrel

youtube.com/watch?v=FBig5p0yBNE

depends on the setting

To fight the goblin, one must understand the goblin. Knowing how the goblin tastes is part of understanding the goblin.

Criiiiiiiiiinge

Having goddamn flashbacks to my time in a kitchen here.
>The food was bad, the meat was still uncooked, there were maggots in the salad, etc,
>Then why did you go and eat everything before complaining about it?
>Fuck you, I'm not paying!

Goblins are literally people, so confront the owner.

>Goblins are literally people
No

Customers are terrible people. From the bar, as a waiter, even to the potwash, there's something about going out to eat/drink that makes people garbage

Goblin sausage is as good as any

Sopa de Goblin?
Am I in a fantasy version of Brazil?

People like you are why this hobby is dying.

UMA DELICIA

Not again

My current character just makes their own food. They literally bought what is effectively a magic crockpot so they can just sort of passively be cooking food.

So I question who the fuck put a fucking goblin in my crockpot.

People like this dude have always been in the hobby.

They're the fucking worst, and always have been.

A clever necromancer?

I thought the last line of your post was hilarious, bud. (Not sure what to make about everything before it, though. You can have wrongfun if you want to.)

In my setting, I think Goblins are pretty much animals that can walk upright and manipulate tools. Most of my characters would continue eating, even if they were a bit unhappy about it. The rest would be too disgusted because Goblins definitely have a language learnable and able to be spoken by the elevated races, so they'd consider them too intelligent to eat. I don't think any of them would make a big deal about it unless it were on behalf of a character they were protective of, if that character got upset.

Is this the time to throw in a Dungeon Meshi reference?

Well at least it's not gnoll

Fucking hell, I clearly ordered a mermaid fin soup and a medium-rare centaur tenderloin steak with the side of fried fairy wings!
What the fuck is this third-rate goblin bullshit doing in my soup?
I'm already paying a fortune for this, and you dare to try to cheat me out of my mermaid fin soup?
What's next, you gonna bring me beef instead of centaur steak? Replace the fairy wings with vegetables?

Waiter, I believe this soup belongs to that shitty goblin slayer manga

I'd eat it, but I'd feel sad

Ah fuck. Sorry Tinkerbell, but fried faerie wings sound delicious.

...

How do I know enough about "goblin anatomy" to identify a piece that small? Is it a goblin nose?
I know you want to imply it's a penis, but I don't know what a goblin penis looks like, AND THAT IS NOT A REQUEST.

You mean a recognizable piece? Because judging by your pic there's nothing left that could be recognized.

Tell the cook to ground up the meat better another slip up like this and the law is gonna know what happened to those missing people.

It's a smaller greener version of a bugbear penis.

I ordered the Dragon cuisine. Explain your bullshit.

The goblin in our group looks as if he were a statue. Most of the rest of the group complains some reaching for their weapons. The ogre in the group continues on as if things were normal. One minute latter the Inn owner are dead and the establishment is set ablaze by said goblin.

Well okay now that we have a point of reference that everyone is familiar with, Eastern forest bugbear penis or the mountain variety?

Rare Eurasian steppes bugbear, obviously. What are you, an uncultured swine who doesn't know his bugbear penises?

>As half-orc NG Paladin
Probably upset, but more angry at the cook who thought this was remotely acceptable.

>As NE human rogue
God, what are you serving me? Do you even know where that thing has been? I demand a refund! And a free bowl of stew, with less goblin!

Please, on the outskirts of civilisation you'd have your mugs chained to the table so nobody pinched them, floors covered in straw that only gets spot cleaned when some nasty ass shit breaks out.
You city folk have such weak stomachs.

>Quest Unlocked: Behind the Beef (stew)

You ordered centaur tenderloin and somehow have the nerve to act like a connoisseur?

>Quest Completed: Meet the Meat

frankly in dark sun I'd be more surprised if there was no meat of suspicious origin in the stew

i was eating hot and sour soup one time and bit down on something hard. spit it out onto the spoon and looked closer. it was a severed mouse paw, curled up, with some skin still on it.

i tried to throw up but i couldn't, so i gargled with listerine until i ran out of listerine, then switched to vodka.

when i called the place they asked me to return it to them in exchange for free chicken teriyaki. i filed a complaint with the county board of health instead.

...

>Prideful
>Not "proud"

You know goblin parts on sight OP?

Customers are just terrible, period.

Goblin Harvest

A flock of lions is called 'pride'

Well, If it was a gamey meat and you're eating it in a stew... Itll taste like farts.
Rabbit, Venison and Roo smell awful when its stewed. needs to be flamed.
Goblin meat tasting like fart seems pretty appropriate anyway.

"Waiter, why there's a piece of Goblin in my soup?"
"What did you expect for three copper, sir? A dragon?"

おいしい

>Goblins are pretty much animals that can walk upright and manipulate tools.

so are humans?

Not quite the same thing. Think more along the line of gypsies.

Found the dwarf.

Didn't they turn him into literal immortal soup as punishment?

Binge alcohol. Kill the Innkeeper. Kill anyone who complains. Pass out in another part of the country.

Repeat

I don't understand the mindset of someone who goes out to abuse the people who make their food. I make it a point to give them a smile and be polite because chances are their day has been shitty enough already and I don't want crap in my food.

>goblin anything

You contradict yourself OP.

If it's very tasty stew and looks like pic related then it's probably ok and nothing would 'float up to the surface'.

But to answer your question about eating goblin, depends on whether cooking it would kill the goblin pox, and even if it did the taste is probably awful.
So it would only be ok if the characters eating it are starving and reckless and not proper adventurers in the first place.

By the gods, what's the point of adventuring in dank dark dungeons if you can't spend the hard won loot on proper feasting of fine food and drink and week long sessions of hookers and blow.

>implying goblins have any problem eating other goblins
I order another bowl

>By the gods, what's the point of adventuring in dank dark dungeons if you can't spend the hard won loot on proper feasting of fine food and drink and week long sessions of hookers and blow.
Conan approves of this post.

My character is a goblin, so probably freak out and hysterically confront the innkeep.

>playing as a goblin

Kill the cook. Serving me poisonous meat is no different than coming at me with a blade.

Keep eating. If it's not human, then it's okay

>not ordering the Filet Minotaurgnon

you're not as highclass as you think plebian

>Kill everyone
>Turns it it was just an old carrot

wat do

Loot the bodies, take every valuable in the building, exit, burn the building down, leave, tell the next person you see that you just escaped a goblin raid on the inn, it was horrible!

>A piece of Goblin anatomy

I go complain to the cook, this is an affront to my dwarvish heritage! You can't just cut them up and chuck them in a pot. You need to skin them, clean them and dice them, before letting them stew for an hour or four so it loses it's usual toughness and releases it's subtler favours. What's next, "Underdark Mushrooms" grown in normal manure rather then bat guano and goblin intestines?

Who is this guy anyway?

Good Lord, I want to eat that stew.

Even with Goblin bits?

The goblin was in a Warcraft themed campaign, not DnD

And then there are folks (like me) who try and make goblins and orcs people rather than monsters in their own personal settings.
I use gnolls for my always-evil "race" instead.
Also because I have shortstack and amazon muscle girl fetishes. Every single campaign has a 7' female orc brawler NPC somewhere, with a human fetish. I never force it, but she's there.

Especially with them.

> Conan O'brian

>autism