Meanwhile on Elf Veeky Forums

My fellow High Elves,I have come to ask for advice.

You see,my brother left to face an invasion by those disgusting green pigs called Orcs by other inferior races.

As such,he left me his 117 year old son to take care of for the year.

I wondered why he had left me with my nephew when he,although admittedly young,could take care of himself.

That was when I discovered something absolutely horrible!

He,of proud High Elven blood,wished to become a Druid!

A bloody Druid!

Now,I do not wish to completely talk down on our Wood Elven fellows but their ways are dangerously close to that of a barbarian's!

Druids and appreciation of the woods may have once been useful for our then underdeveloped kind but now,as you surely know,they are completely unnecessary!

We can now simply use our powerful magic to create new woods and tame new beasts!

My nephew has incredible potential for the magical arts yet he wishes to squander it by turning into a backwards,useless (And may The Godess forgive me for saying this accursed word) Hippy!

What can I do to make sure he stays on the true path?

I want to fuk that elf

117? It is a phase. This year it is being a druid. Next year he will want to go live with humans for a decade. Just be glad he has not become a beardaboo. I had to disown my own daughter when I found out she was one of those filthy dwarf fetishists.

Nothing wrong with Druids, they keep up the forests, maintain the old ways, make sure there's enough game to hunt, and help shape the trees.

Not everyone can be a Wizard.

>A bloody Druid

Please refrain from profanity.

Elves don't have Veeky Forums. We have book clubs and The New Yorker.

Go back to the London Review of Books, plebian. Take your atrocious grammar with you. You type like a half elf and spell like one of the Stunted Ones, the poor dears.

Wood elves plz go

>Not everyone can be a Wizard.

They fulfill a necessary role, but you can understand, I'm sure, the Originating Poster's disappointment. Certainly we all respect and value the contributions of druids and other forest folk. But for an Elf of his high lineage, one might have hoped for more. Surely the green elves don't wish us to appropriate their valued role in elvendom? They have their place and we have ours, delving the mysteries of high arcana, advancing the arts with dance and song and harp and sword. We provide moral guidance and leadership, organizing and regulating elven activities for the good of all. It is our duty, our sacred trust, to organize the Elves, just as it is the lower orders' sacred duty to be organized. To defy this is to abandon what we all know to be best in favor of chaos, selfishness, and intolerance.

So in that vein, we must mourn our little one's poor judgement, even as we withhold our hands (for now) in the hope that he will look into his heart, put aside ignorance and greed, and return to the proper path.

My son keeps screaming at me because I remarried after his mother's tragic passing. He also seems to really hate his infant half-brother. I love both my sons, but I'm not really sure how to approach my eldest about this. He's EXTREMELY bright, and somewhat proud, and as a result, not likely to take advice phrased as such, even from his father.

Ma'am, it's because of Elves like you that the Seelie don't talk to us any more.

yall niggaz be fucking pathetic yo. there aint be no trees or gay ass shit like that here in the underdark, just move over here if you hate dat shit so much.

What are you? A creature from the Underdark you say?
Bah, whatever. It does not matter what you are. The lower races are all the same.

The only noble race of the Underdark are the Drow, who, despite their pitiable ways, are still of Elven blood. It is no wonder that they are the most feared race in a world full of monstrous beings like the Underdark. Because as sad as it is that these Elves decided to consort with demons: As soon as Elves become evil, they of course outdo the other evildoers.

Have him take up a hobby to distract him. Maybe rock collecting, or crafting, or gem cutting or something productive. He will have a useful outlet for his energies and you get time for your son and maybe another after that. Win win. What could go wrong?

Well said. That race is still tinged with nobility, which makes their darkness all the worse. And the filth they cavort with! Like it is not the least of their debasements that they mingle with these lesser folk. The poor dears.

Also they're a bunch of greedy racists.

we wuz drow'n shit bitch

>not wanting green femdom

Absolute plebeian.

Why do I need my elf-maid to have big bulging muscles? I've got -2 str as well.

Better bein a druid than a adventurer. Those gits get chopped to bits!

To each their own, friend.

>wanting to be dominated by a literal cave troll

Gas the elves orc war now

what's going on this thread?!

My kindred, I needs must inform you of a threat most dire. After a night of uneasy trance I found this essay in a scroll on my bed, in my beloved Avalicialassa's handwriting:

"The HUMAN man is the epitome of male dominance and masculinity.

"Let’s start by looking at his body. His body is large. His domineering size makes his presence known without him even needing to point himself out. He is muscular, as a result of his high levels of testosterone. This gives him the appearance of health and strength. He is then covered by his hairy skin. This hairy skin reminds us of his ruggedness, a feature that developed due to being exposed to the cold of the northlands, made to withstand such an extreme condition. It also has a psychological effect on the observer. The hairy skin reminds us of our dark, deep desires that emerge from our primal subconscious past.

"The HUMAN man’s demeanor is one of alphaness. He is dominant, assertive, and can be explosively aggressive. His behaviour strikes fear into the more timid, cowardly species (*Lf dogs)

"The summit of expression of his masculinity on his body is his penis. The HUMAN penis is largest of all the races. As the penis is the penultimate symbol of manhood, this alone would suffice to make the HUMAN man the most masculine of men. This large penis is able fulfill the desire of the neediest of elf women, being able to more than fill all the recesses of the vagina. Its length ensures that when it ejaculates, the potent simian seed will immediately enter the womb of the she-elf the HUMAN man impregnates.

"In total, the HUMAN man expresses this masculinity in a most exemplary manner in bed. When he fucks, he unleashes the entirety of his lusts and desires upon his partner without any restraint.

"All this is the reason why the HUMAN man is the epitome of masculinity."

My beloved, and our human manservant Torvald, son of Gothwyn, are missing. What did she mean by this?

It means you forgot to castrate your manservants again.

>Drow
>Most Feared
I am of disagreement, fellow cat-uplift-sapient. Though prone of self-poison to avoid consumption and murder fetish, Drow present not primary threat.
Ah. I come to solution: you are not cat-uplift-sapient. You are ape-uplift-sapient, presenting false cat-uplift-sapient vocal patern for deception on the Elf-tg-channel, with WoW account.
Back to your game, ape-uplift-sapient. There will be time for you and you+colony later.

These things happen from time to time in any long-term relationship. She is attempting to arouse jealousy from you. Tell me, when was the last you went on a noble quest for the affectations of your lady, let along at behest of the gods or the fate of a nation?

Nothing that concerns you.

Oh my dearest one!

>Bows before you with clasped hands

This is a great varna-samkara!
The dharma that is the true dharma is not fulfilling the purpose of another's jati!
It is said that if even a feeble and incorrect attempt at one's own dharma is better than the dharma of another done perfectly.
For the way of the true high-elf warrior nothing is higher than the war against evil!
The story of his dishonor will be repeated endlessly. And for an elf of honor dishonor is worse than death.

First and most important of the yogas is the karma yoga!
The way of the forest-dwellers and retreating from temptation is not the way of the high-elf varna!
One who shirks action does not attain freedom; no one can gain perfection from abstaining from work.
He should do work with the welfare of society always at his mind.
Not such selfish shirking of dharma.

Remember:
>It is better to strive in one's dharma than to succeed in the dharma of another.
>Nothing is ever lost in following one's dharma but competition in another's dharma breeds fear and insecurity.

Go to /adv/ you fag, this is the traditional gaming board, I’m trying to get advice on how to get the proper mixture of dyes when singing my models or of living wood so that they don’t look like shit. There’s his one Human in my local club who always shows up with these beautifully painted models, even thousands he’s only been practicing for like, what, ten years or so, and it always makes me feel like an ass when I show up with my unpainted “Aztec Warrior” army because using regular paints fucks up the living wood.

>My fellow High Elves
N'wahs get out

Have you tried using traditional dyes and paints? The Oil paints Humans use fuck up living wood something fierce, but I’ve been using the same old crushed leaves and berries routine that I did a century or two ago, and my living wood “Teutonic Knights” that I use for games of Crusader is looking no worse for wear. You’ll have to hand paint them, but it’s probably easier than trying to sing the colors out during creation.

>he doesn't into magic to color his figures

>tfw no wood elf bf
I just wish I could prance around naked in the Enchanted Forest instead of suffering through all this eugenics crap.
We had to cut the hearts out of my last seven daughters because they weren't magically pure enough.

>complaining about high elves on an Ehlnofey Tonal Architecture Forum

Sorry, not all of us are High Elves who shit magic which they use to become wizards and suffer through mercury fumes for 200 years so they can use magic to do simple tasks for them because they’re too lazy and physically inept to do it themselves.

I sure hope you thinned your spells, magi

Two thin cantrips are better than one thick cantrip.

>I just wish I could prance around naked in the Enchanted Forest instead of suffering through all this eugenics crap.

For the record, we're also all uncircumcised.
Dunno if that's a deal breaker or not, but I've seen High Elves quite explicitly shocked by that little extra tid'bit' even though it should be obvious.

>Go on to Veeky Forums
>Sure enough, there’s always one High Elf or Drow faggot who doesn’t understand the concept of Board separation and makes threads purely to blogpost.
>Mods never delete these threads because they’re too busy trying to make the perfect hot pockets recipe or whatever
I bet the fuckin Humans and Dwarves don’t have the deal with this shit.

At least sage you huge retard.

>I bet the fuckin Humans and Dwarves don’t have the deal with this shit.
Humans have it worse, unfortunately (or fortunately, depending on your perspective). Not sure about Dwarves though.

What do I do cousins? I can't stop thinking about orc dick?

I hate to admit it but I'm addicted to the way their stink, I want to bury my face in an Orc's soiled loincloth after he's spent all day looting and pillaging and inhale the smell of his musk, sweat and excitement until my ears tingle. O want to spirit it away as he sleeps and cover my face with it, inhaling his bestial aroma and defiling my flawless elf skin until I smell like his personal o'nwah hole.

Go back to /pol/ you shitposting faggot. By the gods this site has really gone downhill.

Good knifeear.

Oh look, you made a shitposting thread for people to shitpost about elves.

my sides

Elves shouldn't look human, they should look alien

Iliyarus is that you?
Just wanted to drop in and inform you that you are going to be a grandfather.