The Beholder

How does it poop?

Through the mouth, kinda like how jellyfish use just one hole.

All waste is processed into liquid and released via tearducts.

This is first grade stuff user try to keep up.

Poop?

That would imply that a Beholder would want to get rid of something from its body.

That would imply that something in the Beholder's body was less than perfect.

That would imply that the Beholder was less than perfect.

>via tearducts
That's how you get pink eye.

it psychically transports it's poop into the bowels of it's minions

so it doesn't poop

you do

The same way it does everything else. By shooting a ray.

Made me actually, audibly chuckle.

Beholders don’t even fuck or lay eggs or anything, they literally dream each other into existence on accident and then start fighting once they wake up arguing over who came first.
So we’re already talking about a species that is so fucking off the charts weird that we don’t even have a word for their method of reproduction, so why would they need to poop?

Do they even eat?

poo ray, obviously

They dream it

Into their dreams.

It's mouth is an all-purpose orifice. It ingests, digests, excretes and expels all from the same opening. See Lords of Madness for further details.

each tentacle is a rectum

...

And occasionally a Beholder will dream about "what if we did need to poop?" and the nightmare of constipation creates the Otyugh.

This sounds exploitable. Do beholders even know this? Then again, if it was, the beholder in question would be the first to try and exploit it.

>Do beholders even know this?
"Know" is probably not the word you'd use for anything a beholder does.

“Does Big Brother exist?"
"Of course he exists. The Party exists. Big Brother is the embodiment of the Party."
"Does he exist in the same way as I exist?"
"You do not exist.”

They do in fact know this, but they’re so crazy and have such active brains that they rarely if ever truly sleep long enough to go into a heavy dream-state, instead usually sleeping with an eye or three open or whatever.
They can’t control their dreams any more then we can and since most beholders so they can never really control what a dream-beholder looks like and are so xenophobic even if other beholders that in any other it could qualify as a form of mental illness they basically end up trying to kill one another.
Gazers are basically beholders that are at best half-formed by the dream and thus not deemed a “true” beholder and sort of easy to ignore for them.

BRAAAAAP

if I recall correctly, the thing was that beholders hate everything that isn't precisely like themselves, and as such hate other beholders most of all. It's unlikely they'd ever deliberately reproduce.

Out the back.

/thread

Is it possible beholders are so crazy BECAUSE of their egregious paranoia-fueled sleep deprivation?
Like, get paranoid about other beholders appearing when you sleep, stay awake for months, get even more crazy and paranoid?

Beholders are completely efficient, and they process every part of a body that they consume. They do not need to poop but excrete in the form of breath. Any beholder that eats completely grows from what they eat and they produce no waste.

Once the nutrients and oxygen provided by the fluid are completely consumed, the waste liquid drains back into the beholder’s cavernous maw. It is then expelled or, more often, it dribbles out in a constant stream of foul-smelling drool.

Owl Pellets, except beholders. Beholder pellets.

What do you think those beams are made of?

Exactly. We beholders (though all but myself are imperceptible but wholly intolerable mockeries of my exquisite perfection) are still much too immaculate in design to ever be anything other than 100% metabolically efficient.

How impudent to assume we'd be flawed, pathetic offal sacks like yourselves.

To be fair though, it takes a fairly high IQ to appreciate beholder physiology. The craftsmanship is extremely subtle, and without a solid grasp of theoretical physics most of the genius will go over a typical observer's head.

Plot twist: the beholder pellet is made mostly out of owl.

If I recall, this was detailed in Ecology of the Beholder-(now defunct) or Lords of Madness- I think they literally shat/farted out waste as minor magic.

Doesn't matter, though- It's an aberration tied to the planes morso than the other main aberration monster cast- so it is removed from a great deal of 'common' sense opposed to Illithid, who despite having a diet of brains, still need to take in nutrient pastes as to maintain their damaged cerebromophed host bodies.

>To be fair though, it takes a fairly high IQ to appreciate beholder physiology

the reason you go mad trying to contemplate beholders, illithids, and other aberrations is because eventually you have to consider how they poop, which pushes anyone over the brink of sanity

I think- The Illithid defecate- but it's probably zapped away via psionics. They sort of deflate when they die don't they, and make weird noise when it happens, I think the Illithiad detailed it, and it's shown in NWN1, and even then, they don't eat much beyond brains an nutrient paste, so their ablutions would not be sizable they've also that hydration issue which is one of the main reasons why they're out to put out the sun.

Aboleths are basically 'any fish increased in size, given three eyes and four tentacles' and probably do it like any other fish- though they're closer to amphibians that have evolved a means to continue the benefits of being fish at leisure via their enzymes they secrete.

>they're closer to amphibians that have evolved a means to continue the benefits of being fish at leisure via their enzymes they secrete.
Like a reverse mudskipper.

What is this bullshit lies you're spreading? Beholders vomit up a womb to reproduce a litter asexually once per lifetime.

Sauce faggor

5e states Beholders dream new beholders into existence. 2e and 3.5 supplements stated asexual reproduction. Both are correct depending on setting and DM's choice.

Lords of Madness, the primary and best sourcebook on aberrations in general.

They have kids by dreaming about having kids.
They become undead super-beholders if they ever happen to dream about the possibility of being an undead beholder.

So I think the answer is "however they think it works."

Magic

>My body consumes all waste material. It's like the Thunderdome in here, only, two men enter...no man leaves. Rated R.

it just thinks the poop out of existance