Have you ever considered shaving your dwarfs?

Have you ever considered shaving your dwarfs?

...

Traditionally, you must know how to draw scissors before saying "Fuck tradition."

Those are dwarve scissors, as you must never cut your beard.

As one of the faggots who whines about not enough people having facial hair in the post-hipster reality we actually live in I sure as fuck haven't.

>Dwarven scissors, the simplest of machines, are poorly-made.

No wonder gnomes are still a default player race. We'd have to hope anything more complicated than flint and steel didn't have a dwarven maker's mark stamped on it, otherwise.

Is that what young people call testicles now?

A shaved dwarf is just a stocky halfling.

Those are dwarf scissors

have you ever considered jumping off a building?

En the tyranny of the beard.

*End

Do you read the lore?

But how then will I know whether the carpet matches the drapes?

"It's not the beard on the outside that counts, it's the beard on the inside."

>Have you ever considered shaving your dwarfs?
Female dwarves are incapable of growing beards and the only time a male dwarf shaves his beard (or is shaved by another) is from great shame/dishonor (such as failure to protect a child from certain death, losing a precious family heirloom, etc.) or a serious crime (theft, murder, treason) which both often result in exile.

As such, the common saying goes "never trust a beardless dwarf."

>Females with no beards
That ain't no woman of mine!

Begone, autist. Nobody cares about your fetish.

Why don't you go and marry a halfling instead.

I take great satisfaction in knowing that there are very few of your kind left and that the bearded female dwarf was killed by Warcraft, Warhammer, and D&D.

>race that takes pride in beards have beardless females

Not an argument

>his dwarves are tolkien cookie cutters

Dwarves in my setting has no hair at all, including no beards.
Also they are oversensitive to light.

This comic series was incredibly dissapointing.

A dwarf without a beard is merely a manlet.

But

A manlet with a beard is not a dwarf.

A beard is a masculine feature. If they have a masculine and a feminine gender/sex then there are female and male attributes that are built in to attract the opposite sex. Generally Men and woman have different features that attract each other to the opposite sex like tall muscular men and wide hipped, big boobed woman. This is generalising though as we know alot of people have individual fetish like muscular tall woman or skinny flat chested woman but this is not the norm. It would be weird for a race to have a single gender nuetral sexual attraction attribute.

Obviously this is fantasy and everything I said can be discarded becuase
>depends on the setting

It can be discarded in real life as not all species have a clear sexual dimorphism, not even among mammals, you cannot tell a female cougar and a male cougar apart unless you see their genitals up close.

>you'll never brush yer wife massive hairy beard nor lick her sweaty flocculent armpits nor massage her furry back and then place your hand in her fluffy womanhood
how you, ear fuckers, manage to spend a day without killing yerselves, I'll never fucking know

>It can be discarded in real life as not all species have a clear sexual dimorphism
Dwarves are human like.

Humans have clear sexual dimorphisms.

If we were arguing about khajit sub species or elf gender differences we might be able to discuss some more but dwarves are a different stories.

Let's be honest most fantasy races are
>Green human with muscles,pointy teeth
>Short human with Scottish accents that mine
>Pretty humans with pointy ears
So if we are being generic there would be some consice sexual dimorphisms like breasts, no breasts, breasts, no breasts and wide hips or not.

Some prefer them with a little bit of hair.