Dungeons the Dragoning

What's the big deal with this game?

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It's ridiculous and sort of works.

It was made as a joke and released on April 1st by a Veeky Forums poster but was actually surprisingly good, mechanically, despite being filled with Veeky Forums in-jokes and memes.

It's one of the great secrets of Veeky Forums. A reward for lurking long enough to become one of us.

It is legit playable? Or is it meant to spoof homebrew's that are extgremly difficult to play?

It's ok.

It's actually pretty decent. Goofy as hell, but mechanically pretty good.

An insanely brilliant individual hacked apart a half dozen flawed hame systems and used the best pieces to construct a nearly-flawless frankenstein of a system.

This blithering madman then created a mashup setting to work for this system which has all the nuance of a nuclear weapon. The setting itself is almost exclusively made from gamer-specific memes and references and pop culture popular with gamers.

I did read it, and it's an absolute clusterfuck of awesome.

It's a relic
of a time before time
when I was but a young b& on Veeky Forums
back in the days
when Veeky Forums got shit done
Veeky Forums made full fledged rpgs in those days
we were bold, brash, and innovative
but the world has changed since, and so too have we
even now, there are still embers, there are towergirls
but alas, nazimods and growing cancers in the userbase are killing Veeky Forums's once indomitable spirit
can we rebuild this board?
Can we return to those glory days?
or are we doomed to this purgatory of
>I miss quest threads
The future lies in your hands user, as it lies in the hands of all user.

It plays pretty well. There are a couple issues with it, but for the most part works pretty well.
It can be complicated though if you start doing space battles and car chases and political espionage and high octane battles.
Fun though.

I've been running some campaigns in it for about 3 years straight. Seems to work pretty well.

Tell me when that Outlaw Star homebrew is finished.

Please. Tell us more.

Storytime?

Not going to happen unless you work at it. Rage against the dying of the light, etc.

Bump because goddamnit I need some storytime of this shit.

I too want to see this, user hopefully delivers!

Story time.

It's a poor man's Strike Legion

Oh, sorry. Forgot about this thread.

Hmmm. Depends which story you want. I normally have 1 campaign going in person and 1 online I run as well. I suppose I can start off on a small shadowrunny adventure I had set up online to test some homebrew, so outlandish concepts were encouraged.

the whole thing is made of references, while still being a mechanically sound game. Thus, it's easy for anyone who would probably find it to enjoy it.
Is it a perfect system? no. There are plenty of mechanically underdeveloped parts, and some things are just busted. It's still fun though, and there are plenty of player options even in just the first book (there are two books, and the official forum for it has a mountain of homebrew from over the years).

Do it. Storytime is always great.

I didn't do shit and I was here from the start.

I guess I should start with introductions of the party, in alphabetical order:

First is Andol Star. Andol Star. He was a Cervin (s4.zetaboards.com/LawfulNice/topic/10375364/1) spacer, which due to a freak but convenient accident (aren't they all?) that killed all his friends and family was instilled with strange powers and forbidden knowledge (s4.zetaboards.com/LawfulNice/topic/30134638/1/).
Knowing that with great power comes great responsibility, he did the only reasonable thing: Decided to capitilize on his newfound abilities by becoming as rich and famous of a celebrity as possible. Working Mercenary gigs to get recognition for his prowers, he made his way to Sigil to ply his work in bigger deals. He planned to publicize his runs and use the resulting fame (and infamy) for... something. Presumably, turning this tragedy and bizarre new power into something useful is the way he pays heed to Sigmar, Crusading God of Civilization.
He hears voices in his head and listens to them. A guy specialized in guns and magic, wielding a single a gun with settings of "less lethal," "lethal," and "excessively lethal". If people somehow were able to close the distance on a guy built like a horse, he had a lethal dagger tial as well. A man deadly at any distance and no compunction about showing it. Somehow, he was still the most sensible in the party.

and then he vanished from the plot due to irl reasons iirc.

This. It was a good era. Back when tg didn't want or need moderation. Back when the users were creative and had ideas. When bad ideas got shot down but good ideas were made better.

Now it's all quips and ridicule and memes. The same tired edition wars and political fights. Nobody contributes, because why bother? Create a thread and the 12 year olds will spam it into autosage spitting out insults and whining about Reddit spacing and magical realm and lamebrain critiques that make them feel smart. What's the point?

That and any halfwit shred of an idea gets hoarded and turned into a crowd funding appeal.

Next is Astrid Hirika. Astrid Hirika, team mascot and accidental troublemaker, although not the troublemaker class. No, she made her trouble much more organically. A rather elven soratami (s4.zetaboards.com/LawfulNice/topic/10434172/1) created through a crystal sphere wide secret project to create the most perfect waifu program (s4.zetaboards.com/LawfulNice/topic/10457889/1/) and force its "2d perfection" into the world of 3d. And they succeeded. More moeblob, more pure, more uguu than anything that had ever been devised before. A real life virtual bunnygirl robot singer.

This was their own downfall. Able to interface and travel virtually like a virus, when one developer let leak about the wider wheel to her, her innocent curiousity got the better of her and she snuck aboard an outbound spelljammer seeking a wider audienceto sing and perform for, to make more people happy doing what she loved. Of course, this made nobody happy in the end, especially not Astrid. It certainly didn't make the powers from her sphere happy, as she had left at the climax of their development: The perfect prototype, but they had not yet been able to make any copies for mass distribution. Sparing no expense bounties were placed on even rumor of her and the dreaded THOT police sicced on any confirmed leads.

Astrid was not built for combat. Literally. Her programmed abilities allow her to be both the perfect hacker and perfect face for the party, able to easily interface and control and travel though almost any digital or networked device while having the social power to smooth over any misteps. There were only two main issues. Astrid wasn't good at computers, making her abilities much more limited and due to her crippling shyness and well founded paranoia she wasn't very fond of talking to others. She learned quickly and was able to weaponize her song and dance (s4.zetaboards.com/LawfulNice/topic/30049688/1) in order to hold her own when things went tits up.

This is taking a while to type. I should probably have done this in advance.

Next was Despit Lightblade. A Dark Eldarin with some odd interests. Even for Dark Eldarin. He was a man obssessed with the power of the HEART (s4.zetaboards.com/LawfulNice/topic/30052207/1/) and DARKNESS and LIGHTNESS. Literally and figuratively.

A figure of already minor fame and infamy among exalts and the wider wheel as well, he had done well for himself. Having plyed his talents before, he had accrued some comfortable living standards and actually was co-owner of a nightclub in the Middle Upper Lower Ward on Sigil already, which he appropriately and affectionally named "The Pulse". Here he socialized with the Sensates and those from the Chessboard Lady's Ward that wanted to go slumming "but not too slumming" while he carried out his bizarre expirements on HEARTS in the DARK of the basement to ILLUMINATE himself. This is all very serious and nothing to make LIGHT of.

He was skilled with a blade, finding them to be the key that opens all locks. Figuratively and literally. However, having enjoyed the easy life a bit too much, he was losing his edge and worse, his popularity with the socialites of the wheel. Having a health (and unhealthy) amont of arrogance, he immediately set off to make a splash in the underground scene as publicly and wildly as he could. He deserved nothing less after all.

Hawt DAMN.
You have truly weaved a tale, of a great place.

Last (for the time being) was Rodriguez Salvador. With a name like that, you know he's a Vizard (s4.zetaboards.com/LawfulNice/topic/10372389/1/). A hardworking Vizard repairman and a namer with the Believers of the Source, his life was changed one day when he somehow came into possession (and consumption) of a fruit of life (s4.zetaboards.com/LawfulNice/topic/30134638/1/). A testament to the Godsmen's belief of ascension given flesh.

This sort of thing doesn't go unnoticed by the powers that be, and his Faction claimed ownership over his body (for his own security of course) for "treatment". This involved building him. Stronger, heavier, better, more filled with a bomb incase he ever stepped out of line-er. Still, the Darksteel Skeletal replacement did have it's perks, even if it left his appearance someone lumpy due only being bone-esque replacements and the extreme weight left him slower than a disabled banana.

He was a heavy man. Smart but slow witted. He had a big gun but mostly stuck to his big metal fists to make an impact. Composed under even a hail of bullets, he was the kind of guy that could run through a brick wall, if he could actually run.

Good to see someone else who plays DtD. The game I'm currently in is winding down, and I have been coerced into running the next.

DtD seems to be the sort of system that just leads you to creating loads of characters you want to play, or at least that's how much group has ended up.

So it came to pass that they all found their way to Sigil. Sigil, City of Light! City of MAGIC! Where anything can happen. Miracles and Monstrosities, Triumphs and Tragedies.

A fine bunch. And they all met in a bar.
I mean, where else are you going to meet your Mr. Johnson? For some reason he didn't want to CUT to the HEART of the matter at The Pulse, preferring a neutral meeting point. A downstairs bar known as the Broke Bird in the Lower Lower Lower Ward (Unlike the Middle Upper Lower Ward of The Pulse). A run down Kenku bar, run by an eccentric old bird with a missing that didn't ask too many questions and didn't mind the enclosed and claustrophibic feeling. Neon Lights with kenku runes glowed on the walls, poorly painted meadows and cloudy skies now covered with grit, grime and graffiti. A real dive half empty with people with no where else to be with their lives this late night, just past Anti-peak in Sigil.

In the back, in a large well-lit corner booth that seemed crowded by just his presence, and sticking out like a sore thumb (four of them infact) was a ruddy skinned Shiva (s4.zetaboards.com/LawfulNice/topic/30020039/1/) in a very nice, presumably custom made suit. Enjoying a glass of fine razorwine and smoking a cigar. Two pairs of sunglasses sat on his face, one hand patient tapping the table and the other beneath it. The party made their way over, sizing each other up as they went.

This sounds like thing silly enough to work for a game with me and my pal...any tips on trying to run it?

Ive been wanting to play it myself, so im 'fraid i cant help ya.

Don’t lean into the references. It’s tempting but distracting. Lean into the inherent madness.

It's easy to get people with a passing knowledge of any of the components that make it up into the game. My current group is comprised of a 40kfag, Exaltfag and Planescape vidyafag, and the only one who knows all of these settings is me.

Oh I might forget half the references anyway, so I can just go with something mad.

Despit and Astrid slide into the booth on either side of their Mr. Johnson, while the Angol and Rodriguez choose to remain standing due to having a horse for a butt and weighing over a ton respectively.

Negotiations are brief. We want you do thing. We do thing. We get paid? Yes.

Mr. Johnson invites them to have a drink with him, and explains that he needs them to do some emergency community outreach. There are some... strangers in town, people from a group outside of Sigil that aren't respecting the space and responsibilities of those already living there. Their intentions are good no doubt, but they still need to be... educated on their folly. With the recent increases in refugees and movement in Sigil, the GWOTT is starting to step up presence and it's creating some unease amongst some very important people doing some very important things, see? A small outreaching of "special agents" from the GWOTT will be departing from Sigil soon to head back to Bytopia and give a report to their masters. It is imperative that they be... delayed. Roughness is preferred, but it must be nonlethal. Something to send a message at the same time is very nice.

How much? 25. Thousand thrones. Each. Not bad for a days work. Oh, yes. If you succeed, then I'll still be here tomorrow night at this hour, just past antipeak. With some gifts to share with people I like. But with the stress these rude people are causing, it's all gotta be done before then.

The party quickly agrees and presses for a bit more info, so he divulges that they've recently been finishing up on investigations in the Lady's Ward and will be in the Lower Ward tomorrow morning. And that they are an Eldarin, A Gnome and a Human.

The party gets up to go.

I'm normally a DM more than a player with DtD so most character I make are just NPCs that by design are overshadowed by the players, although since it's DtD that can still make them a cyber werewolf bugbear assassin sniper hippy.

Has a decent point. My personal leaning is 'Nothing should be just one reference'. Blend a few different things together in order to get something new and very much your own.

That I would do for sure - I like making crazy shit on my own, but still - nice tip, thanks to you both.

Then I have finally found system to use this

As the party is leaving, Despit and Astrid hear the telltale click of a picture being taken, and spin on their heels, signalling for the others. They scan the bar, and they notice one barfly, an elf by the looks of him, had been taking a picture of the group under the table.

The group waddles over to him and the shenanigans begin. The two Demiurges, Roddy and Andol team up to play badcop, badcop on the fellow. Sadly their complete lack of social graces or knowledge makes it more baffling than badass. Roddy attempt to use his indestructible darksteel bones, simply using his weight as he leans into the metal to bend it. Sadly, he overshoots his mark and his arms break right through the table, as he slides to his shoulders and smacks his face down on it.

Andol meanwhile leans forward on the table as well and asks the man what he thinks he's doing. "You a photographer? You like to take pictures, huh"? While he holds his dagger tail overhead like the sword of damacles. Sadly, she stumbles on his words and the sudden bending of the table by his comrade led to him also faceplanting during the attempt.

Astrid meanwhile nicely asks the man what he was doing, and he stammers out, taken aback by the everything that's happening to him, that he was just filming the bar and sending some pictures to... a friend. Meanwhile Despit pickpockets the phone. Astrid asks the man to not do that, nicely, and despit makes some frightening gestures with a large key and says something online the lines of I'll cut your HEART off, you got the DARK of it berk? While gesturing at his throat. Thoroughly baffling, but that's alien anatomy for you. The message was received at least. Both to the elf being scared and robbed, and whoever that elf was messaging in the first place. The group leaves, telling him they'll make sure his friend is informed in person.

I actually try to avoid references that aren't from the book itself as much as I can.

The party leaves the bar. It's about 2 past antipeak now, (about 2AM). Astrid heads to her van, and the entire party follows her and get in as well. This is somewhat disconcerting for Astrid, as these psychotic killers that she just met in a bar all just make themselves at home, buckling up or climbing in the back as suits them. The suspension on her van gives a groan of figurative agony when Roddy climbs in, his massive, dense weight more than the rest of the party put together as he sinks into his seat before buckling up.

Astrid turns on the radio and starts singing along to calm her nerves while the others discuss their plans.
>So. HEART of the issue: we gotta go kill these guys
>No, we need not kill them. We need not to kill him. We need to make them wish they were dead
>Right, dead, that's the DARK of it. So an elf, a gnome and a human? That doesn't give much to go by, a bit LIGHT on the finer details.
>Oy basher, I think the blood said it was an eldarin, a stinking suitslinking starscum, not some treehugging dryadhumper dirtelf to use the vernacular.
>Hey, wasn't that guy at the bar an elf?
>The fellow paying us?
>Not paid us yet
>That suit's an elf? I thought they had less arms
>Actually, I think it was an eldarin that we needed to meet, not an elf.
>Meat? Like... HEARTS?
>Stop that.
>Look, maybe we should just go back and kill that elf just to be sure
>But it's an eldarin we need, not an elf. And we're not supposed to kill the eldarin.
>Exactly! So no problem killing this guy
>Wait, what about the guy he was sending a message too?
>Oh sure, we can kill him too
>But we don't know who it was?

This went on for some time.

Astrid's increasingly loud humming and singing distracts them from this line of thought, making the wannabe murderers lose focus on what they were talking about. With clearer minds, they decide they can hack the phone Despit now reveals he stole and then use that to track down who the message was being sent to and where that person is. And then kill them or something? Sort of playing this by ear. It's already 3 past antipeak now, so they get to work. Astrid is still driving, as though she's trying to escape the cruel world she has thrust herself into. Rodriguez, handiman extrordinare offers to crack the phone. Despit hesitates when he says Crack, remember the table. And the number Roddy is doing to that chair, but hands it over.

With slow, methodical and careful motions he breaks he phone open and starts examining it from the inside. He messes with the diodes, wires, and other technobabble until he manages to get the developer override access set up. The nice thing about living in a dystopian police state is that everything has a higher access setting.

With a little tracing, he finds the data was being forwarded to a Neogi (s4.zetaboards.com/LawfulNice/topic/10401248/1/) that this elf apparently owed some money to, or some favors. Or both. Messages about a potential big score, and pictures of the group. Digging a little deeper, the name of this Neogi was Moogi and he was only in town for a short while, staying at a Coffin Motel in the Lower Ward called the Nap Trap. Wanting to cover their bases, the party set off to do.. something to this guy.

A short drive on the overpasses of Sigil, and they arrive. It's about 4 AM. The Nap Trap is a real piece of shit. A bunch of holes dilled into concrete with perforated manhole covers for "doors". Coffin is absolutely right for this place, literally and figuratively. The team catches a little shuteye, those that need to sleep, while they camp out for this Moogi.

After about 3 hours, they get realize they haven't seen any neogi here. Rodriguez nudges Despit and he gets up. The Neogi's room is on the 3rd floor and unless Rodriguez wants to punch some holes in the wall to climb up, he's not going to be able to ascend the... is that barbed wire? that is handing from the roof to get to the higher floors.

Despit skillfully scales the wire and unlocks the door like the master of unlocking he is. The Neogi isn't home. In fact, it doesn't look like anyone is staying in this room 631.

Despit and Roddy head to the front office. Inside the rathole front office is Kobold in a Voidsuit, who seems to be taking voyeuristic pleasure at the poor living conditions of his patrons.
The group leaves the broken phone with him and tells him to give it to Moogi when he checks back, then proceeds to leave before they are any more disgusted.

The two get back in the van (THUNK goes the suspension) and tell astrid and Andol that the Neogi has been "taken care of". Yes, this is how they handled it.

It was not all a waste however. Although Roddy is a Clueless berk, he manages to check with his faction contacts with the Godsmen website about the GWOTT to find out they're in town and what their schedule is in the Lower Ward today, so that faction members can stay out of there way for political expedience. Apparently the group, Pucki the Gnome, Fliap the Eldarin and Steve the Human. With this knowlede, the team sets out to a club near on the border between the Hive and the Lower Ward, called the Ditch Drink. For when you're in the slums but still wanna go slumming. When you want to blow your wad or blow your wad, go to the Ditch Drink.

The team decides this place need to go down for their advertisement sense alone.

It's actually surprisingly nice for its location, with an ATM and a Bouncer on duty. At 7 antipeak? Yeah, that's not suspicious.
The bouncer is a big brute of a slaad (s4.zetaboards.com/LawfulNice/topic/10347087/1/) bloodred and the size of a Goliath (s4.zetaboards.com/LawfulNice/topic/10322650/1/) with fists the size of a man. Not someone they want to get on the wrong side of.

Thinking fast, the team sets up a diversion. Thinking faster, they set up several. Andol will be their backup, keeping overwatch in case anyone gets out or anyone else tries to go in. Despit and Astrid will run interference and Roddy will be the Brute. The perfect plan.

Astrid figures she can hack the nearby ATM to spew out cold, hard cash to distract nearby people. While she's doing that, Despit begins talking to the Bouncer, who has a horrible, coughing, croaking voice and tells them in no uncertain terms that they can't go inside. While they're speaking Rodriguez just... walks past the bartender. It's not like the door was locked. The bartender shouts and turns to follow him and despit slips in as well.

Meanwhile, the ATM was hacked. Sadly, it was mostly filled with Stingers. Now, Sigil has many forms of currency and many names for them. Thrones are the big one used though, for multiple reasons. All you need to remember is:

>Greeners are (or were) Copper coins, until they corroded and turned green and faded to nothing. They've been mostly replaced with square green chits.
>Stingers are the next step up, 10 greeners to a Stinger. They're silver-ish, and are called Stingers for a couple of reason. Some say it is because many of the supernatural such as Daemons, Vampires and Werewolves feel a sting at the touch of silver. But smart money says it's because they're shaped like the headfrill of the Lady of Pain, making them basically silver shurikens and extremely impractical for typical usage
>Thrones are the next step up and follow the same pattern as the others. They have a picture of the Throne of Blades on it, the symbolic symbol of rule for the Lady of Pain. They're a nice middle currency that hasn't been devalued by inflation without being too big for common usage
>Jinx is the next step up, and they're big, gaudy golden coins. They're rarely used due to their value, their bad history with being used by Daemons and the fact they have an engraving of the Lady of Pain's face on them. Watching you. It's just bad luck
>There are higher values too, such as Merts and Toruses, but they're even less practical for common usage
>All of this is pointless since everything is handled electronically.

And so, the ATM was of course full of almost nothing but stingers. Which Astrid then set to spew out into the street and people getting their money out. Shurikens flying out at 60 miles an hour?

Yeah, she had her distraction. I'll just say she was able to run in apologizing while the Bouncer ran back outside to see what the commotion was about.

This is a bit more of a comedy than an exalted adventure, isn't it?

Inside the bar, the lights are dimmed. Everything is bathed in cyan from neon lines on the floor and ceiling. At the stage, with magenta pulses are some scantly clad dryad dancers. Warforged is serving some drinks, while an Eldarin in Neon rave voidesuit is doing a relaxing(?) upside down splits on a table and pool table. Some tough looking humans and goliaths in black leather and clothing lurk near the back with their arms crossed, watching the Eldarin impatiently, looking up suddenly at the party rushing in.

The gangers (?) thugs, owners? The party is uncertain but they move forward to accost the party, drawing some guns from their side and start to step closer, barking orders at the party to drop to the floor and keep their hands in sight or they'll shoot. They've got the party outnumbered 2 to 1.

At this point, reaching peak stress, astrid pulls out her magical microphone and screeches into it as loudly as she possibly can. And she can screech really, really loudly.

The entire building shakes. The neon lights spark and burst around the walls. The glass tables crack and warp. The bottles of booze shatter one after another. as the bartender leaks a single black, oily robot tear of liquid sadness.

Of the 6 thugs facing the party, 4 are instantly killed. Exploded, actually. Their heads and their entire torsos blow up as their lungs expand and burst inside their lungs. The entire room is darknened and showered in a fine red mist as bits of organs, bone and flesh spray every which way.

> Using the power of music to literally blow people’s minds.

Okay, NOW you have my attention.

This being the first time Astrid has killed anyone, she promptly collapsing on the ground and begins to cry at her own power. Despit and Rowdy Roddy shake it off though, and see this as an opening. Rodriguez charges forward, with heavy thunking in the darkness as he stumbles into a cracked glass table, collapses and breaks it.
The glass table that was being used for gymnastic arts by the Eldarin.
The Glass table that it turns out the eldarin was actually putting some explosives under.
Explosives that have taken just about all they can take thank you very much and decide to go off right now.
And they do. A nice, midsized explosion latter and there is a crater in the center of the bar and the peer-pressure wave from the explosion has made the remaining thugs look like their Dryad Dancers, which is to say topless. Without any Torso remaining.
Roddy is fine though. He carefully gets up, checks himself for damage and brushes himself off, trying and failing to convince the others that he meant to do that.
Despit was able to dodgeroll to safety to avoid the blast. Astrid was just barely on the edge. The Dryad Dancers are no where to be seen. The Eldarin raver herself though was not so lucky, dusting herself of and shedding part of her shredded void suit and with a look of confusion and anger as what just happened.
Conversation began
>Roddy: I guess I need to kill you.
>Eldarin: Wait, what?
>Despit: I WILL UNLOCK YOUR TORSO AND FILL YOUR DARK HEART WITH THE ILLUMINATING LIGHT OF DARKNESS
>Eldarin: Wait, WHAT?
>Astrid: Aboohohooo
And so Roddy stumbles over the the Eldarin, helps her up and then sucker punches her through the back wall.

It was a level 1 session, so they were pretty pathetic outside of their niche. But in that niche they really shine.

Go on.

quests are right over on qst you know. It isn't like they left, they just went to another room in the same house.

It was a beautiful punch, really. His fists are made of darksteel and the punch sends the Eldarin flying through a wall so quickly you'd think she'd teleported. He and Despit look at each other and give a grin and a thumbs up. This'll be easier than they though. Astrid cries quietly.

Suddenly the sound of alarms blare. There is a bang and light pours in as one of the doors in the back is kicked open. A Gnome's silhouette stands in the glare.
A Gnome in Power Armor.
A Gnome in Power Armor with a Heavy Bolter. Gnomes are automatically proficient with one armor type and one weapon variety in this system
It does a quick scan of the room and then opens fire, spraying suppressing rounds of exploding death into the room.
>OH FUCK THE GNOME
>It was pretty LIGHTheaded of us to forgot a target like that!
>SHUTUPANDGETTOCOVERYOUSTUPIDBERK
For Roddy, the only thing suppressed is his flight reflex as he rushes toward the light at the end of the tunnel to smash this gnome's face in, his own SAW swaying back and forth on his back, neglected in favor of casting FIST.

Despit meanwhile quickly dodgerolls under a nearby table, then flashsteps toward the back room in response and he is caught by the explosion of one of the rounds as he goes past the table, throwing him through the air and through the hole the Eldarin had made earlier when she "teleported" with Roddy's help. He's critically wounded and concussed, but still on his feet.

The steady thumping of the gun and the alarms blaring seems to wake Astrid up, as she comes back online. She pulls out her Dataslate and quickly digitizes, and begins trying to hack the Club's systems in order to shut down the alarms before the fuzz show up. It'll take some time though, since she's embarrassingly bad at computers.

I'm loving this catastrofuck.

Roddy, is slow. Really slow. But now he's almost within punching range of the Gnome. The gnome with a wand of death, I mean Heavy Bolter
And in point blank range for the Heavy Bolter.
10 Bolts blast him one after another, tearing through his supernatural and forbidden flesh, exploding in lights and colors and designs like so many horrible and arcane fireworks.
Roddy looks up. He'd be smiling (if Vizards had teeth). 10 bolter rounds and he's not even bloodied. Now it's his turn. He socks the gnome right in the face, Darksteel fist to power armored skull. There's a cracking sound as the gnome's head snaps back, but it's just the glass on the helmet breaking away to reveal some honestly rather pretty green eyes full of absolute hatred.

Despit, holding his side as his vision is swimming, points his keyblade at the gnome and angrily (and succinctly) yells DARKNESS. Suddenly an enormous 8m cloud of Warp Miasma bursts forth, blinding the gnome and filling the doorway and clubroom with, well, dark warplight. He warpsteps over and prepares himself to strike the gnome with his Keyblade
>Are you afraid of the HEART OF DARKNESS gnome?
>HOLD IT
Suddenly, there is blast of arcane energy as those words ring out and Despit feels his entire body freeze up as he sees the Eldarin stumble out of the rubble, pointing at him as blasts of hoarfrost and other psychic emanations arc from her body as she calls upon the powers of the warp.

Just then

>Just then
TELL US

There is a solid CLANG as from the orb of darkness flies a gnome, like a missile, into the Eldarin, sending them both careening to the ground in the back room. A small, dirty room filled with... empty cages? Clearly something shady was going on here but the party wasn't hired to deal with anything like that.

Despit stands there, frozen in the Warp Darklight. With heroic willpower, he makes angry eyebrows at the Eldarin.
The Eldarin and Gnome scramble to their feat, bracing themselves and aiming at the doorway for when the darkness fades. One chants spells, the other braces her bolter on one of the broken cages, ready to blast the first thing she sees right to hell.
Roddy Cautiously creeps forward. The Blinding Warp Energy is working for now, and the marks aren't advancing. This is an opportunity. He moved to a cage at the edge of the darkness and prepares himself to charge whichever one is closest. Despit shakes free of the Magical spell's effects, and quickly rolls beside Roddy, ready to rush the other side and take the one he's left open.

The Sound of Alarms fade as Astrid succesfully cracks into the system, granting full access to the entire Club. She has become one with the Drink Ditch. The only sound remaining is the ringing in the distance.
The orb of darkness fades, revealing a human in Powered Armor standing in the doorway, Power Sword raised high and charging at Roddy and Despit.

What a wonderful rollercoaster of fuckups

wow this makes me feel bad

>OH FUCK
>STEVE
There is a sudden BLARE of music and FLASH of lights and cameras all around as all remaining electronics flare into overdrive, Astrid doing everything in her power to dazzle or blind the enemies, as they turn their heads and close their eyes and cover their ears lest they be blinded and deafened entirely.
The sword buzzes as it swings through the air, cleaving the steel cage like, well like a powersword through pretty much anything, pouring molten steel and headed directly toward Roddy's head.
Roddy's hand flies up and without losing his cool shoots out a orb of force in front of him to deflect the blade.
Blade and spell clash against each other as Roddy is filled with energy, his appearance momentarily shifting, twisting into that of a horrific and unknowable daemon or angel as he throws the blade away and leaves Steve the Human stumbling backward.

Despit spins around the Eldarin in the meanwhile and sinks his blade into her leg, sending her to the ground. She reaches up to blast a spell at him, leaving her open for another strike, this time an overhead swing down onto her shoulder, racking down her arm and catching her hand, tearing it off.
She Grins and screams as she surges with warp energy as she point in his direction, her nub glowing with awesome power. Her screams climb in pitch and octave however, as she seems to be drawing on power beyond her ability to control. She swells like a balloon and then deflates in on herself, imploding into nothingness.

Roddy keeps to his original goal and rushes forward into a hail of blind Bolter fire, tanking a round to his bloody gut as he rushes and punches the gnome, catching it in the leg as he lunges forward and enjoys the satisfying crunch of a broken bone against his darksteel replacements. Meanwhile, steve is having the same idea and is lunging after him, Powerfist Raised to do the same.

>your video games are right over there in your room, you know. It isn't like they left, your parents just put them in a room without a TV and won't let you play them in the living room and the mods ban you whenever you ask if you can have a TV in your room

Fixed your post for accuracy.

No, you piece of shit.

And another blasting of a psychic shield. There's a booming howl like that of a banshee, wailing and unrelenting, deafening those inside. The shield is not enough to stop the blow but it merely glances off Roddy's incredibly sturdy mask and gut and into the ground, winding more than wounding.
Despit and Roddy return the gesture with more oomph, stabbing and beating the powered armor figure into the ground with a series of slashes and blistering punches, where she laid in a shuddering, but still breathing heap.


The gnome is backpeddling as the two advance, bolter held up. She moves to fire with it, but bring a gun to a knife fight is a bad idea. Distance closed, the open up on her and send her spiraling to the ground unconscious as well.
>Looks like it's... LIGHTS out for these villains
>WHAT?
>Just making LIGHT of the situation
>WHAT I CAN'T HEAR YOU EVERYTHING IS RINGING. IF IT WAS ANOTHER HEART REFERENCE I SWEAR I'LL KILL YOU NEXT
>I can tell you with utmost honesty it was not, cross my heart and hope to die.
>WHAT?

In a few seconds their hearing returns. The entire battle took roughly 30 seconds. That battered coworkers move to highfive, but Despit thinks better of it when he remembers that Roddy has hands filled with Darksteel that push right through people. He also thinks to himself, and allowed, why he still hear's ringing if he's not deafened anymore.
That's when they realized astrid has been yelling at them for 15 seconds that the RINGING IS SIRENS AND THE HARMONIUM IS RIGHT OUTSIDE THE GOSH DARN CLUB

Not an argument.

No, you piece of shit.

Despit's eyes go wide at this, while Roddy just stands there and cocks his head.
>Harmonium?
>She means the Cops
>Oh come ON!
PANIC
The Hamonium, what appear to be two warforged in classic red and spiky armor, are at the front door of the club. And were shouting for those inside to OPEN UP.

Astrid, using her best booming and melodic voice, spots the Dryads, huddled in cages in another room.
>U-um, hey!
>This um... GOD
>I HAVE um SENT AVENGING ANGELS TO BRING FIRE AND d-deaths TO YOUR OPPRESSORS
>KNOW NOW THAT MEN OF IRON WILL COME TO F-FREE YOU
>TELL THEM AS I HAVE TOLD YOU AND NOTHING ELSE PLEASE

WHAM
It would have to do for now. The Hamonium was tired of waiting and was trying to break down the front door. Astrid re-materialized, grabbed her Data Slate and rushed to the back with the rest of the party.
WHAM
The room didn't have any doors to the outside, so Roddy was making one
WHAM
And with that, the room was now a patio. Light shined through from Sigil, it was still in the early hours of just 6 past anti peak, and light was only beginning to return to the station. Roddy pulls out a remote control and his Jet Bike bursts out from the back of the Van and pilots it around to the back of the club
>EVERYONE GET ON
Despit didn't need to be told twice, grabbing the back of Roddy tight and standing on his pegs
>But it seats only one
>IT DOESN'T ANYMORE
>Just grab or everything we've done will be in vein!
>But my van and and...
>We gotta make like a HEART AND BEAT IT
>I'LL KILL YOU LATER NOW LET'S GET OUT OF HERE

And so, the heroes bravely ran away, three stacked on one bike after a successful mission . Now what were they going to do the rest of the day before they met back up with Mr. Johnson? Well this was all one session, and the adventure had three of them.

And I'm done.

That's a pretty typical session for DtD anyway, at least in my experience.

Astrid's player here. thats not quite how it went down. near the end. The negotiating with the dryads was done in person, not over the intercom. Something along the lines of
>Hail fair maidens! We-uh, We are masked heros, here to quash the corruption and free you from your bonds!
or y'know, something along those lines. From there she basically said "Hey if you could frame these three guys for us when the cops break in that'd be great".

Anywhozit, since the GM bailed I'm willing to keep telling the story best as I can remember it, unless you want to hear the unrelated tale of how two cyborgs went from drag-racing in flaming dumpsters to redeeming a god and bringing peace to at least a portion of the wheel.

>Anywhozit, since the GM bailed I'm willing to keep telling the story best as I can remember it, unless you want to hear the unrelated tale of how two cyborgs went from drag-racing in flaming dumpsters to redeeming a god and bringing peace to at least a portion of the wheel.
tell us both

Alright, I admit I embellished that at the end to make astrid seem more decisive and cut out the team running yackity sax around the bar looking for a way out while completely missing the back door. (or maybe just to save an entire post or two and wrap things up, that took way longer than it should have. Although I did it while also browsing Veeky Forums and other things in the meantime).

Some character personality quirks may have been slightly exaggerated for the sake of humor or notability.

I wish I had a tour bus I could turn into a space machine.

>nazimods
>on Veeky Forums
That's no longer a thing for what now? 4 years?

>It's on another board
Which means it might as well cease to exist, you fucking moron

I'll have you know I LIKE the yackity sax.
ok. I'll finish the one with despit and Co. then. My memory is a bit shoddy on the bits Astrid wasn't directly involved in, but I'll tell things the best I can.
>As mentioned earlier, the cervin ended up dissapearing on us due to the player going awol
>The three of us are clutching onto a jetbike with only one seat
>One of us weighs a metric fuckton due to magic bones
>The idiots are clearly going to cause an accident
>As we're cruising along, having finished our job far earlier than anticipated and having little else to do, we hear sirens behind us
>oh shit it's the fuzz
>Despit gets an idea
>The Dark Eldarin (They're basically drow crossed with dark eldar) racial power is that they can create a ball of darkness. Makes a great smokescreen really.
>He does so
>In open sky-traffic
>During rush hour
>Collisions ensue
My memory is a bit hazy for this part so this bit is more a summary
>As the driver (Salvador) weaves through traffic, the GM has us make acrobatics rolls to hang on
>Astrid has a fuckton of both the acrobatics skill and dexterity and hangs on easily
>Despit though...
>Well I honestly never looked at his sheet but the guy still fell off
>Luckily for him, he lands in another car
>GTA.gif
>Astrid meanwhile ties herself onto the rocket-bike with some rope
>Seriously, always put rope on your character sheet
>Alas, Salvador would not be staying on his rocket bike
>Seriously, the dude is fucking heavy, when he slips off, he's going down.
>Astrid is now tied to a rocket bike going 70mph or some shit without a pilot
>mfw

>Little known fact, the soratami racial power is that they get a free spell at chargen
>The reason this is a little known fact is that 9/10 times players will pick up their really powerful gun-related racial feat, which gives them bonuses to ballistics and replaces their free spell with a free rank in a gun kata
>Astrid is that 1/10
>Cast frostbite to use as propulsion to try and steer the bike away from oncoming cars
>Frostbite is a cone shaped spray of cold
>GM: Whythefucknot.png
>Fun fact, a wide spray of ice into traffic tends to cause even more accidents
>Astrid meanwhile unties herself and lands onto a different car so that she's not careening towards certain death on a jetbike
>Turns out it's the one Despit stole
>Salvadore is there too
>Apparently the two managed to get back together
It was late, online, and there was no map, I ended up zoning out a lot during their turns.
>Once the trio got back together, Salvador pulled out his remote thing and took control of the bike again, steering it back over to us
>He could have done that this entire time
>Wellfuckmethen.wav
>We pull into an allyway to lay low for a bit
>For a bit, seems the coast is clear
>Then we see a shadow around the corner

>Entire party is scared shitless
>Astrid is already a wanted girl, and we're all convinced the fuzz is still onto us for what just happened, as well as the stuff back at the brothel
>We're all hiding on the car floor hoping to not get spotted
>Grey figure comes around the corner
>Despit decides to stop waiting and attack it. Bearers of the heart feel no fear
>Gm asks us to make a common lore roll
>Oh, it's just a dabu
>Despit failed the roll
>He's still going to attack it
>OH SHIT IT'S A DABU
>I still count my lucky stars that I rolled high enough on that persuasion test to stop him from attacking it
>once we've calmed down the GM has us make a few easy wisdom rolls to figure out what it's saying
>Trying to describe pictograms instead of showing them is tough man. Or something.
>It's just asking us if we're alright or need some help
>We decline it's offer, and without the sound of any nearby cops figure we should bail now
>The GM would later tell us that we were never being pursued over the brothel incident, the cops were just worried about 3 people holding onto a small jetbike.
>mfw

And now for the coffee store incident
>Party pulls up to a coffee store run by some tau to relax
>The rest of the party went in to grab the drinks, Astrid stays in the car to hack into some impound files to arrange a "pickup" of her van. (it had been a few sessions, I had the exp to boost some stuff)
>Gunshot.mp3
>It appears I've been shot in the head
So, this game has hitpoints, and it has critical damage. Pretty simple really, you run out of the first, you start taking the second.
>No HP left, 2 critical damage to the head
>FuckthisshitI'mout.jpg
>See, the lucky thing for me, is that Programs only suffer the death effects of criticals. everything else is just kinda ignored.
>Hide behind car for cover
>Rest of the party hears this and heads out to see whats going on
>Astrid meanwhile has a better idea
>My starting equipment set had not 3, not 2, but 1 smoke grenade
>Now is the time to use that smoke grenade
>Use the smoke to slip into the building, shout to the rest of the party whats going on to the rest of the party as she runs by
>As she runs in, she gets attacked by a halfling using bloodwind
>Bloodwind is a spell that increases the range of your melee attacks by 10m minimum.
>Unfortunately for the halfling, Astrid is really fucking good at dodging
>Also unfortunate for the halfling, Astrid is friends with an incredibly strong demigod and a dark eldarin with a fancy sword
>Also apparently some of the patrons are trained fighters or some shit. I wasn't asking questions, most of the whole encounter on my end was Astrid hiding in a corner while the people who were actually built for combat duked it out
>Despit beat up a kenku with a gun by whacking it with a very sharp key
>Salvadore learned that the web spell is fucking busted and spend half the fight doing nothing
>The halfling learned that tieflings are fucking strong and got his ass kicked

>At some point, the guy who had been casting the aforementioned web spells ended up getting knocked unconcious by fucking up his own spells
>he falls down the stairs, pursued by a rather angry salvidor, who had fallen in from the second floor
>that npc got some lucky rolls because he woke up pretty quickly and ended up bolting before he got killed by a pair of angry exalted
>he goes and breaks out through an already damaged wall and bails for his car
>Somewhere though all of this, Despit just kinda left. Smart move really, his contract was over, all he had to do was wait until payment time, didn't need to keep the crew alive.
>Since the police are coming to investigate the gunshots and whatnot at a coffee store, Astrid and Salvidore bail once again
>Digitizing into a dataslate that the pilot just puts in their pocket is far more effective than just holding onto the bike
>Their escape this time actually goes pretty smoothly
>Once the coast is clear, the two decide to split up
>Salvidore drove off into the artificial sunset
>Astrid takes advantage of being a glorified computer program, and CGI's up a disguise to lay low with
>Eventually the trio meets back up at the same shady bar as before to collect their pay for a job well done
>We managed to pull off something the Gm had planned an entire campaign for in 1 session and spent the rest of the adventure trying to stay alive afterwards
It's not the last time Astrid did anything, I ended up using starting backgrounds to nab her as an ally on my new character, but that adventure is still ongoing so I'll save it for later.
Up next is is a campaign I like to call "Metal Gear Solid: Trash Eater"

>Fun fact, a wide spray of ice into traffic tends to cause even more accidents

ASTRID WHY DO YOU KEEP MURDERING PEOPLE

It was an accident!

>We managed to pull off something the Gm had planned an entire campaign for in 1 session and spent the rest of the adventure trying to stay alive afterwards

As if. I planned the entire adventure to be 4 of those missions and you only did one! I had 3 more planned and ready but you dang kids kept getting into trouble and makin' your own dang fangled adventures. You didn't even mention the run ins with the pack of ghouls, the wizard weather, the giant death-tank, the skyscraper chase, and the Ursine Vigilante.

In my mind, it's good to always start your players one mini-run type set up that can be finished in one session but covers a wide variety of skills and abilities. Helps the characters get a feel for the system and their abilities and gives them all a place to shine. I did it with my first ever in person campaign with breaking out of an insane asylum and then in my second in person campaign when they had to break INTO an insane asylum.

>You didn't even mention the run ins with the pack of ghouls, the wizard weather, the giant death-tank, the skyscraper chase, and the Ursine Vigilante.

Is this a campaign of a 12 episode anime adventure?

>GM sets the, well, the setting
>It's a dark allyway, in some of the slummiest of slums. Signs of a long forgotten murder, rats on the pavement, windows boarded up.
>In one corner broods a bugbear, cursed long ago by the gods, his cybernetically enhanced power restrained by cosmic shackles, his now immortal soul burdened with the task of reaping the sinners. A man who wants nothing more than death, a final release from his curse.
>He's basically ghost rider if he was an Australian cyborg.
>In another corner waits a towering shiva (they're basically just dues with 4 arms), a descendant of an ancient and long dead god. While far from the original in strength, he's still a powerful warrior, if the gigantic chainsword he's casually tuning up is any indication.
>And then there's me.
>Another shiva, a living reactor of raw evolutionary energy, one of his many arms long since replaced with one forged of solid energy, capable of transmuting into a massive sword.
>An arm I'm currently using as I dig in an old dumpster
>I am...
>The Trashman, Master of all things disposable.
>I emerge from the dumpster triumphantly, a newfound set of shades adorning my face as our client approaches

>Is this a campaign of a 12 episode anime adventure?

More like an OVA.

Despit Lightblade player here. I basically played my guy as an unholy combination of the Cenobites, Ma-Ti, Bugs Bunny, and (like every other fucking character I play in this game) Tony Hawk's Pro Skater. The storytime above is mostly correct, but it glosses over stuff like the car I stole having skateboard controls and Despit dodgerolling through a collapsing hive ward just to meet the Mr. Johnson on time.

Also, the ursine vigilante was Rorschach as a panda bear.

>Client is a shady looking man
>Truth be told, we don't even know if he's a man
>He's got a huge trenchcoat and hat on that conceals pretty much everything, when we look close the few bits visible just look like shifting masses of darkness
>The job is simple. A briefcase he wants back went missing in an area called "the shortcut" >it's called that because the place is embroiled in a gang war between halflings and goblins.
>Neither group likes tall folk though
>Everyone in our group is fucking huge
>What could possibly go wrong
>Roanoak, the bugbear, demands to see the money first
>Client withdraws a shiny briefcase
>pops it open, fuckton of thrones inside
>I want that goddamn briefcase
>With a job and a motive, the party sets out
>Well, not really
>We need a ride
>I have an ability that lets me do two things. The first is that I have a pocket dimension I can use like a back of holdings
>The second however, is that I can create objects
>Try to create a skateboard
>I get a board
>I have a plan.rar
>Fish out some junk from the dumpster to use as wheels
>Attach the makeshift wheels to the dumpster
>Get in the dumpster
>Use the board to push and steer the damn thing
>The trashman shall not be stopped by such things as needing "supplies"

>We eventually arrive at the shortcut
>All we see is is an underpass thats, well, too dark to see in
>My trash is the trash that will litter the heavens
>Valiantly charge down in my dumpster
>Roanoak tags along behind. As is natural for a bugbear, the guy has a butload of stealth. He's also the only one who can actually see in the dark
>Squelching noise and a thud as the dumpster barrels down
>After coming out of the underpass, it is revealed that two goblins jumped into the dumpster, and another got run over
>three more goblins emerge from the shadows
>My character isn't a mage, but all evoluders start with at least 1 evocation spell
>Mine is energy burst
>Using the dumpster as a blast shield, I fire it off killing one of the goblins outside and wounding the other two
>Those of us on the inside though didn't fare too much better. All of us took damage from getting slammed by part of the dumpster itself as well as the more sharp parts of it's contents. Goblins die but I manage to survive with most of my health.
>Roanoak finally arrives and yells out from the darkness
>EVERYONE ON THE GROUND NOW!
>Now, Roanoak didn't have a lot invested in social skills, but he was damn good at intimidation.
>These goblins just saw a musclebound madman slaughter most of their crew with his mind, and now they're being terrorized by what could be a monster for all they know
>The goblins decide that we're gods, and start worshipping us
>tfw the only actually divine one didn't even do anything

I'm running a game set on a Not-Titanic in space. Made this map for my players.

Do a murder mystery. Those are great on boat trips and with warp travel taking a while, gives time in a pretty vacuum situation for it to sort itself out.

I made this at the request of my Starmaster. The third image is a little diagram I edited to justify "the pure light of my heart is filtering out the impure darkness not unlike cellular osmosis" as a 3-die stunt.

>Cybertron, Equestria. Time to make Eternia.

Already started with one. A Sigil contact (servant of the Dabus) was murdered right infront of them.

The big secret is there's a C'tan Shard in the form of a Nephilim (alternate Daemonhost exalt) on the ship. The shard was originally brought on board in a sarcophagus by rogue agents of the Dragonblooded Realm hoping to start a war with the Imperium. Now it's loose on the ship and has inhabited the daughter of one of the rich passengers. We're only 4 sessions in so they haven't figured all this out yet. EVENTUALLY I plan for the Gellar field to go down for whatever reason(i'm improvising alot) and that sets off the big disaster with not enough lifeboats.

Bigger version
Sounds like a good idea. The DtD forums have some homebrew vehicles from Masters of the Universe

>We interrogate the goblins
>Apparently it was the halflings up top that stole the briefcase. They also kidnapped one of the goblin's friends or some shit.
>They'll only give it up if we can beat them in a race
>We need a ride
>Oh wait, we have a ride
>Goblins realize this, and begin "upgrading" the dumpster
>By upgrade, I mean turned it into a screaming metal deathtrap
>On fire
>Thats powered by plauge rats kept alive with electricity
>The trashman isn't the sharpest tool in the shed. He is however, the sharpest in the toolbox that is our party
>Do a few quick changes so that it won't explode the moment you fire the engines
>Roanoak is actually a better driver than I am
>Give him the reigns
>He somehow, in what is a flaming, moterized, dumpster charriot, does some insane wallriding backflips to land the thing up on the overpass.
>The Not!Spiral-powered & godling shivas just climbed up like normal people.
>The halflings are impressed by Roanoak's display of badassitude
>We demand the briefcase
>As expected, they tell us they'll only give it up if we beat them in a race
>We accept, I go with them as they fetch their ride to prevent any funnybuisiness

That's just Veeky Forums in the twilight of it's life. It's been almost intolerable ever since moot sold us to a gook.

I know people around here don't like people who admit it, but I loved Veeky Forums. Note the usage of past tense. This place has since moot's departure a few years ago (Chist, it's been YEARS already) turned into a depository for the raw sewage of the uintellegent and uncreative. Look at the state of Veeky Forums, you can't make a thread about [thing] without a flood of contrarian cock-wranglers swooping in to shit all over [thing] and derail it into pointless shitflinging. And on top of that, a huge portion of threads made are just thinly veiled prompts for people to argue about politics because at the end of the day, it's still better discussion than you'll find on /pol/.

And despite this I don't want to leave. There won't ever be a place like this ever again. Where the hell else do I have to go? Cripplechan? They're just a bunch of jaded gaymer g8 fags who sit around and talk about how much better that place is than "cuckchan".

Pretty soon we'll degenerate into the next Reddit, then I and the other people who feel the way I do will have nowhere else to go. And it scares me. I've spent years of my life with a tab open to this place, and it will never be the great site it once was.

You'll be okay, man. Veeky Forums may die, but Veeky Forums will live again somewhere else one day. The concept itself is timeless: a place where a bunch of anonymous nerds fuck around. There will be another Veeky Forums someday, and you'll find it. For now, just try to enjoy what time you have here.

I still believe in Veeky Forums

If you want a meaningful migration, you'll have to convince /jp/ to make their own chan. Like it or not, they are the largest concentration of the oldest of fags. The heart of original Veeky Forums still beats within them, as it has since moot tore them out of /a/ so long ago.