CONFESS

CONFESS

every dick move as a GM, every cheat, and lazy paint job, etc

I spared a player character.
>falling to his death in the climax of the campaign as the boss monster that they were literally clambering on Shadow of the Colossus style began to crumble
>PCs tried desperately to throw him a rope from their flying steed but failed
>just him and about 200 feet of open air
>but they were near town for this final climactic siege, and there's a manipulative witch that's been a long time character who I mentioned was present
>she casts feather fall

It wasn't a total asspull, but it would have been more tonally and emotionally fitting to end the campaign with a heroic death. Killing him in his moment of triumph is something I'm kinda averse to.

stopped writing down the various debts and permanent injuries the GM was inflicting on my character in a living campaign for Shadowrun organised on reddit

after 6 hours of good detective work and roleplay, the DM says something like "alright let's wrap this up, the tracker tag you placed on his car yesterday starts moving, he's heading out of town"

we take this as a hint to just head on for the final encounter and collect our winnings

we get there and set up a tacticool ambush position, the villain (a high-ranking catholic priest who tortures people) shows up with his force 20 spirit of man, named, I kid you not, Lucifer. The spirit casts a mind-commanding spell with something like 18 dice against our 10 to resist. The DM would later say "yeah that was too many dice, I made a mistake there but it's too late". So after this literally impossible to resist roll, we are brought into his underground chamber and the DM runs a 20-30 minute non-interactive cutscene where he tortures the PCs in various ways, killing one's dog that he spent most of his starting resources on and is a huge part of his backstory, cutting off another's ear, and so on. no dice to resist any of this or anything. eventually docwagon arrives after he escapes and the guy who lost his ear is now like 20 grand in debt. we get no pay for the job and minimal karma

...

There was no right decision here user, you're forgiven in the eyes of whichever divinity you worship.

Lies, he should have died.

I hated painting when I started 40k and rushed it just to get stuff on the table. Ammo pouches, tubing and little bits just got the same blanket colour.

Now that i'm passably good at painting I'm disgusted with the paintjobs on my first army but I haven't gone back to strip and repaint them.

What if my god hates me regardless?

>The "trip on a banana peel after the bad guy is dead" gag
If he fell to his death during the fight or to give his allies a shot at victory it'd have been more heroic and clear cut. It's a bit of an asspull but probably better for storytelling than just letting him die anticlimatically.

Once, I was in a bad mood, so I railroaded a player to be forced to suck off an human knight in order to allow his character to survive and not get permakilled off.

They were both male

I don't think this is all that uncommon, but when I'm GMing, I'll fudge dice rolls and make up a result based on what I think would be more interesting for the story, or if I feel a character could use a small pick-me-up due to bad luck.

Once, during a game I was DMing, we all left the table to take a 10 minute break. You know, stand up, move around, get a drink, take a piss.

I schtupped my girlfriend for 30 minutes in one of the guest rooms. My players were not pleased when I returned.

I guess that's a compound sin; one really shouldn't bring one's significant other to play sessions in the first place.

I had a player fall in love with a noblewoman. It all worked very well and fit with the plot and the character (his was a young, idealistic knight) and everyone wanted to see how things worked out. I had the Dark Lord send minions to attack the wedding and it ended up being a near total party kill, including the happy couple.

It was needlessly edgy.

Sometimes you've gotta do it for the sake of the story you're trying to tell. It might be a little dishonest, but I believe it's alright if done very conservatively.

>The "trip on a banana peel after the bad guy is dead" gag
Falling off an enormous, crumbling monster as it wanders the landscape is not the same as slipping on a banana peel.

>It's a bit of an asspull but probably better for storytelling than just letting him die anticlimatically.
If you want to tell a story, write a book.

But why?

>If you want to tell a story, write a book.
If you want to roll dice all day, play a board game.

I once got mad and killed off a character because the player claimed that my campaign was too easy.

In my defense though, I made him roll 10 separate rolls to save himself, they were all in the open, and he could've saved himself the trouble if he had thought to cut a rope, which was the creature's only means of reaching him as he was perched on a nearby rooftop, but it still wasn't right.

You played with people from reddit. It's your own fault really.

Well... not sure how dickish it was but... I never used any existing system when DMing. I just used the d20 dice for how well the action turned out to be, with 20 being automatic best possible result and 1 being a failure. Then I went for a gut feeling based on difficulty of the feat. If it was easy it would fail only on natural one while insane feats would require rolls closer to 20. I didn't use health points or body part damage, instead I just kept the descriptions of wounds in my head and killed or disabled opponents if players caused enough major wounds, were losing too hard or when it dragged too long. In that case next 'good' strike would down the opponent.

I unashamedly rip off dark souls
constantly

For my next D&D game, I'm just going to run the opening hours of Final Fantasy IV with the names and macguffins and locations changed. I'm not actually sorry about it.

I think you gave him enough opportunities to roll or think his way out of it. Was it instantaneous after he insulted you or did you plan a tough, potentially deadly encounter after he called it easy? If it was a knee jerk reaction then everybody is probably gonna think you're just a whine ass. If you planned a tougher battle for him after the fact because of that then you're just meeting his requests for a challenge.

To be honest, that's probably one of the better ways of doing it, simply because it's simple and it allows you to set the scene without being hung up by the numbers too much.

As always: if everyone's having fun, then there's no reason to worry.

This really is fine. Sometimes thinking on the fly for most of that shit is better than rules lawyering.

At first it was a kneejerk reaction where I had the enemy go right for him but then I realized what I was doing and tried to give him a means of not dying. From that point on it boiled down to poor decisions and shitty luck as he somehow managed to fail 10 rolls in a row.

Meh, you were kind of a dick then. I wouldn't beat myself up too bad about it. You gave him every opportunity in the world to survive, including an easy fucking rope to cut next to him. If his character was too retarded to notice then he earned a death.

I have painted a grand total of 5 tyranids in two years.

That's 5 too many, user.

I got 3 campaigns Im playing in of different systems so:

>5e
>Drunken brawler
>DM gives me a perma condition for getting a nat 1 in a magic shop
>Childishly butt hurt, I plan to use my new ability of bugbear pheremones to rise up a small army of the things from a nearby encampment by promising to bang them all if they go kill the local villain for me
>dub plan “Rapede”
>Never happens, DM roads me to a small fighting tournament arc
>After a series of nat 1 initiatives and nat 20 diplos, myself and the other combatant end the tournament in a double forfeit and we go drinking, ending the tournament before it even started
I wanted to do end the campaign in a silly way for silly reasons, but I guess this’ll do

>Cthulhu
>Be a black 19 y/o delinquent who lives in a cemerary in the 1920s
>Comic relief, and only “sane” person of the group, will probably die first
>Other 2 guys of the group keep setting me up for the most racist jokes possible
>Have to resist the urge of well timed slavery and lynching jokes because the site will actually ban me if I do
The game is cruel and unusual

>Starfinder
>One player is a furfag with a ridiculously sexualized mouse, and makes references to her breasts constantly
>Constantly insult her IC and nearly murder her several times on the assumption of her actually being a literal ship rat
I only feel bad because this person is otherwise a great roleplayer, just, just stop bringing up sex at the table. You would be my favorite person if that would just stop. Please...

Praise Sithrak!

Is she a qt?

Unless you're playing Paranoia. Then you can and should do it whenever you want.

The best FF.

Aight I was misleading there, these are all play by post games
Could be a dude for all I know desu

In an old PF campaign, I played a cleric and would just choose what spells I needed when I needed them during the in game day because my GM didn't keep track of prepared spells. To be fair though, it was a pretty relaxed campaign.

I'm playing oracle in a new campaign so I don't fall into the same temptation. Plus my new GM actually keeps track of that shit.

A wise man once said "a good DM creates, a great DM steals."

>lazy paint job
Basically my entire painting career.
When I was big into Tyranids, I dipped like a motherfucker because it was an easy way to shade and get away with a sloppy paintjob. Same with my Orks. When I played Legion in WMH, I did my entire army in five quick steps: base color that was sprayed on as primer, drybrush highlights, then paint armor brown, drybrush that, then add finishing touches like teeth or metals. I got into Convergence because painting an all-metal army was even easier. Everything else was just spray steel, paint gears bronze, wash, drybrush, done. Admittedly I did give the big centerpiece models a bit of extra attention. but those were limited.

Was the demon lord named Dogeyes?

I boosted the health of a boss mid-game
>playing Only War
>players setup at a refinery to defend from Orks
>I hadn't checked the stats on the turrets until they unloaded on the Warboss' ride
>something like 3d10 with Pen 6
>I'm not having that shit but all my players read it
> I decide to have the vehicle last a certain number of turns since they can fucking miss the thing
>game warboss a personal shield to help him last a turn after he was on foot and he still left a bloody smear
I admit it was my fault for not knowing what I had given my players. It was my 2nd time ever GMing I thing. That games ending was saved by the psyker, who suffered perils swapping places with an Ork Kommando who then fought his way into the tank the psyker was riding. The psyker then managed to get perils again become a daemonhost, and with the promise that he would try to kill the others, I left the player control the daemon. It ended with the whole place blowing up when a player who had snuck away earlier detonated the bombs he put around the refinery.

The players got party wiped in a universe where revive is a thing. Boss is was at low health.

So I procceed to make the character from the player who's been afk appear and have a legit 1v1 duel after giving control of him to someone who just got killed.
Motherfucker actually succeds and solo's the boss, afterwards I take control of him, because of the universe mechanics the party survives and afk guy's character leaves heroically and silently.

I'm in an explicitly FFIV inspired campaign at the moment and it's a blast. My character is basically paladin-cecil reimagined as a dragoon and we're fighting off the evil empire's attempts at seizing the crystals from their shrines.

I literally threw this asshole at my party because I was playing Nocturne and thought it'd be funny.

What's worse is that I made his appearance make sense in the context of the narrative and the party *adored* him. He ended up becoming a recurring villain's minion

well then i must be a great dm cause all I do is steal shit from media and threads on Veeky Forums
also I literally just stole lore from dark souls and darkest dungeon in my latest campaign

Hello, I am user, I am also a filthy hack of a GM
I steal from Shin Megami Tensei, Yoko Taro games, and wrestling whenever possible.
I threw the Undertaker as a boss at my party one time.

I DM 5e for a newer group of players, and fudge probably ~60% of my dice rolls

Pt?

i cut my finger today while putting my blood angels together and left my blood on it cause they're blood angels anyways

I will occasioanlly fudge my draw when playing deckbuilders, if i'm not doing so hot. To keep things interesting.

I quit GMing for my friends.
And started GMing for erp.

I bull-headedly continued a campaign without noticing the warning signs that my players were getting upset, and when I finally did I reacted in such a way as to speed the campaign to an unsatisfying conclusion. It was the first and only time I've DMed, and since then I haven't been in a campaign, even as a PC.

I studied a player at my FLGS over a few weekends, who was notorious for gaining extra inches in movement for FB and 40k, and applied that knowledge to both games and WarmaHordes in another store during tournaments. If memory serves, I won two of them specifically because the extra movement allowed me to close into CC.

Over 75% of my models are unpainted and/or unprimed. My current efficiency is one model every 2 months.

>friend and longtime GM of our old campaign came to be me earlier this year telling me he wants to run a new one that is tonally more serious and historically accurate
>setting is essentially 17th century Japan
>get handed a character sheet for what is essentially a monk/cleric named Juan Obella
>campaign opens in Portugal, where me and another novitiate are being called into the office of what is pretty much this universe's version of the Cardinal. We are told that our beloved mentor has not reported for 2 years. We are being dispatched to what is essentially Japan to investigate his disappearance and finish is mission of converting the heathens. Our cover is that we will be resolving a fishing dispute between some villagers and what is essentially this universe's version of the West India Company
>We arrive in Japan and board what is said to be a massive English shipping skiff off the coast of the village. We attempt to learn the location of our mentor and resolve any sort of dispute with the villagers. Our diplomacy rolls go...not well and they try to kill us.
> We escape to the village with the help of a local who was being persecuted by both his government and the English """fishing""" interest.
>We make contact with the villagers who say that we will be killed if we remain here. A few encounters later and we realize that the English fishing concern and the central government in Japan has killed our friend and are preparing for an all out war which will decimate this village, many of which are our converts
>notonourwatch.jpg
>We realize that our only hope is to get a message back to what is essentially the Vatican which can use their political leverage to hopefully prevent this war.
>a few quick encounters later and we are in a boat which is sailing towards home. Storm hits and we are blown off course and are trapped in Arabia
>being monks, we convert a few of the locals and they agree to aid us in traveling back to the Vatican.
To be continued

The site would ban you..?

I post on Veeky Forums high

Im high[/spoilet]

> so there we are, racing across this massive desert Lawrence of Arabia style. On the way, we've recruited a few more PCs - there is me Juan Obella, the other priest/cleric/monk, daughter of the chieftan from NotJapan, and a local Arabian boy who's playing a min/max'ed dex based character. In a particularly nice touch, the boy's character can't get my long Portuguese name right and also doesn't understand the concept of "Father" and so always calls me "bin Juan" in Arabic. After some more random encounters, we get to Acre we catch a boat to the Vatican
>We plead our case and the College of Cardinals promise they will do everything in their power to help us, but it won't be quick
>wellfuck.atleastwetried
>we resolved to go back to NotJapan and help the villagers fight in this brewing war
>more traveling and we make it back to the Village. The cheiftan's daughter blows a roll and we are detected- the boy is taken back to the flagship of the Company's fleet and me, the other monk, and the chieftan's daughter are brought before the stereotypical Englishman who runs the company and has taken up residence in the local prefecture
>Turns out, he's in league with the Samurai persecuting the villagers.
> We reveal our concealed weapons. We fight the Samurai and the Chieftan's daughter takes on the businessman.
> meanwhile, on the capital ship of the """shipping""" fleet, the kid is imprisoned but escapes. Thinking fast, he tips over a candle onto some conveniently placed gunpowder and escapes as the ship blows up.
>We end up winning but the other monk PC is killed. We capture the businessman just as the whole American fleet arrives
> we are told that this man was operating outside the knowledge of the English government and will be deported to face his crimes
misgivings about the boy A-na-quin.

>after months of playing, the GM ends by saying "the Cardinal enters the prefecture throne room and you kneel, kissing his ring. He tells you that because of your actions here, you are elevated to a full fledged Priest. He tells you of his grave misgivings about the boy A-na-quin." and then the motherfucker smiles and says "The Cardinal says that despite not agreeing with your decision, the college of Cardinals accepts your decisions to train the boy, O Bin Juan... Kenobi."
Motherfucker had us playing the goddamn phantom menace the whole time

>A-na-quin
how did you know immediately recognize that?

It's a classic RPG adventure.

Ok here is mine
Be Gm in sandbox scenario with minor plot line
One of my players is sex obsessed
>I roll to sleep with her and conceive my child
Fucker wanted to build a family tree and move onto the child as character and repeat, good idea bad execution
Other play would not stop meta gaming, enough said
And third would constantly fudge rolls, re roll if bad result, checked over my notes before making a choice, would change the scene to better suit their wants ect always changing character
Once made up random experience on the spot just to level up and kill a vampire when they were a level 3 fighter.
Straight after the sex maniac slept with the vampires prisoners, who just happened to be beautiful young women.

it was me! I was the only person, Gm and P. It was a solo game and I’ll do it again in a different setting.

because I thought I was playing "Silence" mixed with "Lawrence of Arabia"

He had a harder time with "Attack of the Clones" but "revenge of the Sith" turned out okay

I got drunk on new years and painted an alchemist mini. I haven't fixed it because I think it looks kind of good in a bad way.

because he is a sociopath and enjoys being a cunt to his friends

Honestly? For my Evangelion game, they're currently in a virtual game-world, fighting an angel.

Which I stole from one of the numerous Evangelion mangas.

When I GM, I sometimes roll behind the GM screen, maybe even write down the number or make a contemplative sound, when in reality I never use that roll for anything, just to keep my players on their toes.

i fudge rolls often and think that i probably have spoiled my players because of it, but if any of them die (except maybe 1) the entire campaign will fall apart.

most of my sessions have at least 1 railroad moment. i haven't gotten better at getting rid of them, just better at hiding them behind illusions of choice.

i planned too far ahead with all of my campaigns and i throw inner tantrums when they don't make it that far (see 1st confession)

I'm playing with new players this campaign and they each want to try DMing so i let them be the DM every now and then. the confession here is i made a PC for when I'm not the DM and now I'm more excited to play him than DM

You're disgusting user.

Did you play the child afterward ?

There's nothing wrong with using Matador. But you know who you need to throw at them next.

I can't kill my wife's characters. She does a really good job with character building, writing the backgrounds for her characters. She manages to not make them mary sue-ish either. Just writes their backstories as, kinda like a diary or journal of theirs since they were a teenager or so. I love reading her stuff (one of the reasons I got with her was over a love of writing) and the effort she puts into her characters brings them to life and i just cant kill them.

Partially
I only get one or two generations in and I get bored and destroy everything and start again

And after that you show them true pain.

I like how you think! Team him up with this guy. Seriously, this guy kicked my ass more than anyone else besides maybe the final boss in Apocalypse, not sure if I was getting rusty or what.

i empathize with this. my first campaign i played i planned with my gf. we bought the books together, developed characters together, and chose our dice together. during the first game my guy friends relentlessly made jokes about her character and made a bunch of in-character sexist comments and i had to watch the light in her eyes die. she never played again and every now and then id see her dice in my gaming cabinet and it always made me feel terrible.

That's only a problem if you force an NPC to join them and all he does is "accidentally" aid the boss.

I play with bottlecaps and sheets of paper for minis and books for terrain.

Use coins bro, easier to collect and it makes you want to clean up afterwards

I larp with a group that's dagorhir-based but has different rules and makes a distinction between light and heavy armor (+2HP on location vs +1HP, dagorhir does not) and when dag groups come to play with us I end up tanking multiple hits since I wear heavy armor all over and they go for different spots. They tend to get mad about it and I have to rules lawyer them almost every single time and I go out of my way to troll anyone I know has complained about it by targeting them specifically.

Well, the penultimate boss encounter for that game (which is now over) was pic related plus a team of his buddies. I think the PCs were sufficiently punished.

That was a fun Mutants and Masterminds campaign.

I put a ledge about 3 feet down from the edge of a crevasse to save a player that was bull-rushed off (on purpose) by another player

It probably was a forum with very uptight rules about civility, and not discriminating against other posters, so the mods would get on his ass just for saying things in-character. GitP and Reddit are like that.

...

I once gave my DM head in exchange for magic items

Be honest, you didn't even want the items

what items?

A rod of the pact keeper & a 19 con belt

I fudge everything. There is not a single full statblock in my DMs notebook, only numerical points of interest and very basic stats like health and total attack bonus. The underlying truth behind the plots in my games can change radically based on the actions of the party; kill a BBEG? Now his plan involves him coming back from the dead, and all those people he killed were a sacrifice. Im oversimplifying, but there is no single coherent truth in any of my worlds unless the party encounter it.

I said that the monster made the save or that it ain't dead yet just to make the fights more interesting. This has made a player question whether his spells and whatnot even work on the enemies.

What was the spell?

Want to play in my game?

I can offer better than that

In order: Save or Suck spell (can't remember which), a "roll twice take the shit result" spell and an offensive bard performance. This was Pathfinder yes yes my first mistake hue hue memes for the record.

DM Protip:
I always give monsters I dont want to be effected by spells some type of element which gives them a supernatural resistance to magic in some way but breaks after use. For example, a black knight may have a pendant which glows and shatters after he fails his first save against a spell. Its a good way of having your cake and eating it too, as long as you dont do it too often.

Sure, why not?

>undertaker
my absolute nigga

I generated a lot of hype for what could have been a really good game, then panicked and flaked at the last minute.