Be paladin

It doesn't matter what you did.
DMs always have a boner for making Paladins lose their paladin status.

>It doesn't matter what you did.
>Made-up DMs on Veeky Forums always have a boner for making Paladins lose their paladin status.
FTFY

Teach the thief a life lesson then arrest him and let his family starve to death.

Catch the thief, bend them over your knee, drop their pants and spank them in public with the flat of your blade until they cry.

Shame is the greatest teacher.

Eh, I've dealt with one of those GM's in real life. Was actually the first time I played D&D.

Did you shout "POLICE!" first? Because if you didn't it's an unauthorized use of deadly force, and that costs points.

Also why the fuck would the DM talk to you about it after the game instead of just having in game consequences related to murdering someone in the middle of a street busy enough to have active pickpockets?

tfw no lady paladin to attempt to steal gold from

Attacking someone who is robbing you while they are robbing you is acceptable, but you did jump to lethal force a bit quick there.

Ideally you should have went for a nonlethal takedown. Anything past that [helping the thief out if he's sympathetic, etc] is just extra.

I would flay him alive.
Paladins shouldn't be played like some cartoonish hero that calmly explains to the thief that he's evil and that he should repent.

I'm sick of people thinking that the paladin must act like a weakling. He wears armour and use a sword, he should be a murderer. Yes, he's a good guy, but the wicked should be punished.

fpbp

>How would a proper paladin react to someone picking and running away with his gold purse?
Chase him down and arrest him. Theft isn't usually punishable by death. Usually the harshest punishment for death is amputation of a thumb, ear, or even hand (And in some cases a foot and the opposite hand - like in Saudi Arabia for highway robbery).

A paladin should uphold the laws of his chosen deity, unless he's a dark paladin or in the process of falling, he probably wouldn't go around executing petty thieves.

Also throwing your sword is incredibly retarded.

Another option is you just shrug and say "[the deity I follow] will deal with him"

Was the thief evil aligned?

>He wears armour and use a sword, he should be a murderer.
cops wear armor and use guns, should they be murderers?

>Yes, he's a good guy, but the wicked should be punished.
Wouldn't a good guy realize that crime is handled by a court and a judge and not handed out on the street?

Does the church in your settings pay for the longsword +1?

>be paladin
>don't be a paladin because being a paladin is dumb as fuck
>be a cleric instead

That's because there's no such thing as a lady paladin, as women don't understand chivalry and honor.
Futas can still join the order, however

I'd probably have agreed once, but after a year and a half working in a shitty neighborhood, I wouldn't lose sleep over shoplifters and pickpockets getting gunned down on the spot. If Eurabia ever becomes an actual thing, at least I'd take solace in knowing these subhumans lose their hands.

1. The punishment should meet the crime, even for a Paladin. Paladins shouldn't use murder as their casual answer to everything.

2. Depending on the setting, there may not be courts or judges nearby, or readily available. The Paladin himself may have some degree of legal authority to pass judgment or enact a sentence.

>wallet

>Wouldn't a good guy realize that crime is handled by a court and a judge and not handed out on the street?
But paladins do have authority.

Obviously.

Depends on the setting.

>Be paladin
>Staying in a tavern after looting the local village's ancestral tomb
>Peasant offers to clean my armor
>implying my blessed armor could ever be unclean
>implying a dirty peasant could ever touch a Divine Artefact
>Decide to kill him for disrespecting my god
>Roll a nat 20
>Karate-chop his head off, skullfuck it in mid-air, and finish before it even hits the ground
>Tie up his family and torture them while slaughtering the rest of the village in front of their eyes
>Lay on hands to keep them alive through the torture until I'm out of uses.
>Loot all the houses then burn them to the ground along with the surrounding forest and farms.
>Immediately level up twice from all the loot and kills.
>Take a feat that lets me fly just so I can turn 360 degrees and moonwalk on water away from the village.
>Roll another nat 20, my moonwalking converts the entire ocean into holy water, killing all aquatic creatures that do not worship my god.
>After session, DM tells me that my paladin shouldn't burn down a forest because wild horses live in the forest and horses are the holy symbol of my god.
Veeky Forums, would punching my DM in the face be an overreaction, or should I just be passive-aggressive and drop some light poison in his drink before the next session?

>Then look for the cause behind their turn to crime and try to improve the situation, so the thief and others in a similar situation won't need to steal to survive.
Once you've discovered (((them))), how do you proceed?

>Also throwing your sword is incredibly retarded.
If it's so retarded, why is there a section on it in Fior di Battaglia?

...

>not forcing him to become your squireso you can show him the way of the good

Apprehend them nonlethally. If you have the time, work on redeeming/reforming the pickpocket. If not, turn them in to the local authorities.

Your GM is right. Killimg someone for pickpocketing is not appropriate use of force.

If it looks like you can chase him and catch him quickly, do that. If it doesn't seem viable, just let him go and try to figure out the reasons for such rampant crime in the city, that pickpockets steal from paladins of all people.

>Wouldn't a good guy realize that crime is handled by a court and a judge and not handed out on the street?
The paladin needs to have a certain authority over it or else the paladin could find himself helping lawful neutral or lawful evil beings.
Plus a game where the paladin needs to bring any minor evil guy to court is going to be boring.
This. There's no point in trying to teach the wicked in a wicked place. The Paladin's job is to destroy the evil.
1. That depends on what is considered a fair punishment. Irl robbing from temples or churches was considered a much more serious crime than stealing from the local potato farmer. Considering that the paladin "work" for such temples robbing him could be considered the same as robbing the temple itself.
We also need to keep a mind that being a paladin his gold is likely going to be used to help innocents and anyone that steal his gold will indirectly harm a lot of innocents.

You guys are missing the fact that robbing a paladin is like robbing a member of Spetsnaz... while he is on duty.

Since when is being an idiot a crime punishable by death?

Except Spetznaz don't swear an oath of righteousness.

He wears a cape, he should be a hero.

Removing kebab is about as righteous as it gets

"Paladins are not stupid, and in general there is no rule of Lawful Good against killing enemies. The old adage about nits making lice applies. Also, as I have often noted, a paladin can freely dispatch prisoners of Evil alignment that have surrendered and renounced that alignment in favor of Lawful Good. They are then sent on to their reward before they can backslide.

An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth is by no means anything but Lawful and Good. Prisoners guilty of murder or similar capital crimes can be executed without violating any precept of the alignment. Hanging is likely the usual method of such execution, although it might be beheading, strangulation, etc. A paladin is likely a figure that would be considered a fair judge of criminal conduct.

The Anglo-Saxon punishment for rape and/or murder of a woman was as follows: tearing off of the scalp, cutting off of the ears and nose, blinding, chopping off of the feet and hands, and leaving the criminal beside the road for all bypassers to see. I don't know if they cauterized the limb stumps or not before doing that. It was said that a woman and child could walk the length and breadth of England without fear of molestation then...

Chivington might have been quoted as saying "nits make lice," but he is certainly not the first one to make such an observation as it is an observable fact. If you have read the account of wooden Leg, a warrior of the Cheyenne tribe that fought against Custer et al., he dispassionately noted killing an enemy squaw for the reason in question.

I am not going to waste my time and yours debating ethics and philosophy. I will state unequivocally that in the alignment system as presented in OAD&D, an eye for an eye is lawful and just, Lawful Good, as misconduct is to be punished under just laws." -Gary Gygax

>If it's so retarded, why is there a section on it in Fior di Battaglia?
The guys who wrote those manuals were all brainlet grindwrestlers who didn't even account for kicks, proper footwork beyond stutter steps and most of their actual wrestling knowledge was entirely just 'Dude get the double underhooks and shove him down, LMAO'

>Fior di Battaglia
because Italians are retarded.

By killing him, then berating the bleeding heart milk sops that defend criminal scum.

This thing is so creepy and uncanny valley tier. I wish people would stop posting it.

Try robbing a soldier in duty. Post results.

Since the priests of the god of war took over and made eugenics a high priority

Since the dawn of life. Natural selection is a harsh mistress.

>an adventuring paladin shouldn't have gold
Unless there's an existing network of churches and religious places the paladin can reliably rest, eat and maintain his equipment at free of charge, he absolutely should have a gold purse on his person.

Fantasy land doesn't have e-transfers or cards. And even if you do bring the gold to a church every time, you and your retainers are still going to be physically carrying that shit back.

A truly good Paladin would chase after the thief until the thief couldn't run anymore. At that point the Paladin would find out why the person had to resort to stealing. If the thief's reason is noble, the Paladin would help the thief in some way but only after the Paladin convinced the thief to give up stealing. If the thief did not have noble intentions the paladin would try to get the person to change their ways. If the thief doesn't want to change, the Paladin would escort the thief to the local constabulary and see them arrested.

>BJJ a shit, glorious kickboxing master race
Oh, you're that guy.

>proper footwork beyond stutter steps
The footwork you see in HEMA tournaments is anachronistic and based on modern sport fencing technique, not the original manuscripts. Fiore doesn't even mention footwork, because the technique of the time was very natural, favoring passing steps and planted stances.

>most of their actual wrestling knowledge was entirely just 'Dude get the double underhooks and shove him down, LMAO'
Your complaint is that fencing masters didn't write enough about the full spectrum of unarmed wrestling techniques?

>Italians
He was practically German. Modern borders are just that. Besides, throwing swords is also mentioned in Lichtenauer and other German manuals.

He punched me, I sued and had my face reconstructed.

Since when does man have to answer to nature?

You got me there.

Since when is man apart from nature? Civilization is still an ecosystem, just a human centric one.

>be paladin
>notice guy pickpocketing my wallet
>I run after him and subdue him
>Scream out his rights as I drag him off to jail
>Just another day on the beat
>Have sweetrolls with partner later
>pickpocket mysteriously dies
>after investigation learn that partner is a dirty paladin
>Confront him
>denies
>leaving the church mad as heck
>get ganked by the other corrupt paladins
>be mad as HELL
>become undead paladin of justice
>become vigilante
>I am now boneman, like batman but with bones

Dura lex, sed lex.

The law is hard, but it is the law.

>boneman
Does he have calcium strength at his command?

Paladins aren’t exclusively allies to LG characters. Most normal peasants are just Neutral. Paladins can have gods that aren’t LG.

A paladin is the sword of your church’s ideals, for the sake of good and order. Interpret that on a case by case basis. Don’t ever just assume paladins are all the same. If justice against thievery is part of your duties, you are more likely to have a more serious response. In general, you should get the gist of how you respond to misdeeds through a combination of your faith, your alignment, and your character’s personality.

>notice guy pickpocketing my wallet
>mentally go through the tenets of my oath in a fraction of second
>squint my eyes when thinking of "temper mercy with wisdom" because I'm not very wise
>draw sword, divine smite
>ensure proper burial or arrest then investigate his family

I liked that book.

What if my paladin doesn't have a branch of his church in the town he's being pick pocketed in?
There's just as many edgy hipster Paladins as there are knights of Pelor.

I let him get away

A purse of gold small enough to be pick-pocketed is not worth physical violence

I yell at full strength.
"STOP RIGHT THERE CRIMINAL SCUM, NOBODY BREAKS THE LAW ON MY WATCH! I'M CONFISCATING YOUR STOLEN GOODS. NOW PAY YOUR FINE, OR IT'S OFF TO JAIL!"
Everyone knows what happens if he resists though

>he pays the fine with your stolen gold

>i'm confiscating your stolen goods

The horses' spirits should come back as a stampede to haunt you.

>Be lawful neutral paladin
>Smite him
>Mount my divine horse mount
>Chase after him and apprehend him
>After he's caught and my gold purse is returned, chop both his hands off
Justice is served

Fucking Mozgus.

Depends on your god
a god that interprets justice as punishment or makes no forgiveness for wrongdoers would have paladins that kill for theft

Chasing him down and trying to catch him, but not killing him.

He's not a danger to you or anyone while he's unarmed and fleeing you, killing him is uncalled for.

Also:
>after session DM tells me that killing someone for pickpocketing isn't behavior of a paladin
Your DM didn't have your paladin fall on the spot? What a pussy.

>Fantasy land doesn't have e-transfers or cards
I know what I'm putting in my next setting.

I like to play my lawful ? characters with the phrase "Fiat justitia ruat cælum" in mind.
So I can only be sorry for the poor bastard who dared to comitt evil in front of my character.

It depends on the campaign and DM of course. If you are playing D&D 5e then the book isn't really clear, really anything 3+ is rather unclear.

D&D 1e/2e however is rather more so.

If I were the DM I would have had no problem with it, although I would have explained (probably through a mentor npc):

Ideally the criminal should be captured so he can stand public trial and public punishment. The trial (public) and punishment (public) is a component of justice. Remember, it is very unlikely that your character was the only one to ever be robbed by this individual and those other victims deserve a chance to observe justice being done.

Of course, it is better that the wicked be stopped rather than they escape to continue their wicked ways - which will likely increase over time rather than decrease. If killing him was the best option to stopping him from escaping, then doing so is understandable. And, in fact, Just.

Depends on the type of paladin. The 5e Oaths are a good starting point. A Devotion Paladin or Ancients Paladin would never do that, a Vengeance Paladin totally might.

Amusingly, that is the only way I have ever played Paladin.

The joke is that gold isn't marked as stolen in Oblivion, so you can pay a bounty with stolen gold.

...

Lawful Good Is Not Lawful Nice

Remind your GM of this.

As a godless Objectivist paladin, I mentally congratulate the thief on being able to capitalize on my weakness.

Have fun not being able to afford food or a place to sleep then.

That’s how my Paladin and a fellow PC met. When the thief was caught, the Paladin declared that the purse was a gift. The Paladin gained the thief’s respect and the Paladin decided to teach the thief the ways of righteousness.

Term lady does exist, standing for female knight....and honor is made up thing, without anyone to believe it, it's worth less then a pile of shit

But did you really need your wallet?

Material wealth is sinful and ungodly. A paladin needs nothing but a rusty sword and their god to bless it.

Chop off his offending hand, of course.

Alternatively you can also mutilate his nose and/or ears.

>slaughtering a guy for pickpocketing

Ok, listen here pal, unless the setting is some crazy mashup of madmax, darksun and conan i'm 100% positive that you acted like a psychotic retard.

Rusty swords curses the wicked with lethal diseases, so they have time to repent before they die a couple days later. The perfect weapon for a bringer of justice.

When you're in the barrens, you better make sure that what you try to take is worth your life.

Maybe psychotic, but definitely not retard. Trying to steal from a super battle hardened veteran is begging to get killed.

To be more precise: by killing a mere crook over the fact that he stole some goods your shining knight is no more seen as a beacon of justice: he's no better than a vigilante who earns respect by fear (like starting your career as captain america and then acting like the punisher).

Also killing the crook is not be what a normal person would do, so town's people who have seen your act will react appropriately: they will reduce interaction with your character at minimum or evade him toutcourt. He is dangerous and unstable afterall

Hmm? We love officers who kill criminal scum. I would sincerely buy a drink for him, considering that guy probably stole a lot of other pockets.

>I would sincerely buy a drink for him
Would you? The idea that such hardened veteran killed without any consideration a guy over a stolen wallet don't shake your spine? He may ract in the very same way if you don't show appropriate respect (or what he may consider respect).

Sure i will buy him a drink out of fear, and then i will fucking go away from him as much as possible

Yup. A police officer in my country shot down a guy who jumped into his house, who was know for thieving people's home when they went out in vacation. Everyone clapped to him.

I don't worry because I'm not going to jump in his home, just like I'm not going to steal his pocket.

You did not give him time to repent and so his soul was not saved. You must turn them to the light then grant them the afterlife for it is the greatest good

>Yup. A police officer in my country shot down a guy who jumped into his house, who was know for thieving people's home when they went out in vacation. Everyone clapped to him.

Thats a very different context: the police officer is appointed by law, so more justified to act by extreme ways if needed (in the eyes of people of course). Also the burglar entered his house and, inside the walls, many thing could have happened: maybe the crook reacted violently and the officer had no other choiche to shoot him down. Or at least that's what people may unconsciously assume.

On the other hand we have an heavly armed stranger who kills people who dare to cross him.

The stranger who took the rigorous paladin training, probably killed a lot of evil creatures and saved people, is respected by nobles and has a direct line with a probably lawful good god?

I'm totally cool with him.