DM Struggles

So, I realised last session that I just can't roleplay a verbally hostile character. This makes villains especially difficult for me. How the fuck do I get gud at this?

Oh, this should be rich.

Get mean, you fuck.

Yell at yourself in the mirror until you stop feeling embarrassed. It worked for me.

Stop having villains?

And I'm serious here. Unless you are playing some sort of spoof campaign, in tune of, say, Austin Powers, what's the exact point of even having some sort of centric, evil-doer? You don't need those for anything at all. Or simply unwilling or being unable to communicate with the party.
Then, if you really, really must have such character (still no idea why), who says then need to be verbally hostile? You can make them extremely pleasant and well-behave, completely throwing people off balance. That also suggests some degree of professionalism, rather than just some strongman.

tl;dr git gud

I'm already making popcorn. It was supposed to be for an evening movie, but oh well, this is going to be even better

Go to /pol for inspiration.

Then make villains who are smug sarcastic cunts?

As with anything, practice. Practice being a cunt, and a cunt you shall be.

Just make society your BBEG

Play a villain that doesn't get mad?

Just be a calm, cold villain that is very calculating and logical.

What?
It's not just that, I'm not great at confrontation. Whenever the PCs say something confrontational to an NPC, I can never think fast enough to say anything. I just sit there. It's annoying because it's the only thing I struggle with in-game and I want to solve it because I don't want the game to suck in those moments.

Alright you popcorn loving shits. Here's what you do.

First thing you do is go to /pol/ or /b/ and try to troll people for awhile. Start flame wars, use every slur you can find then invent more people have never even heard of before (Players love originality), anything anyone ever likes is trash and should be threatened with hardcore sexual violence, then regular violence.

Once you start this rampage through the boards, you'll have an idea of what to do and say. Although 4channers are toughened already to this behavior, you'll need to practice on actual victims, the innocent. Go to another social media, preferably one that is more personal for people like facebook and instagram, make a fake account and attack them there. You can't hold back, they will cry, they might threaten legal action, some might even kill themselves. None of it matters, all that matters is the game, the thrill of sin. Players love an unrelenting and unfeeling opponent.

are you two autistic?

After this you need to practice with vocals, because no self respecting DM plays via text only unless he's a fucking friendless wimp. You'll need to pick up that phone and start dialing numbers, get a phone directory if you don't know where to start. Pretend to be a customer, a family member, neighbor, a legitimate business or charity. Then fucking ruin their day, get sassy, passive-aggressive, then plain ole' aggressive until you're both screaming blue. The trick here now is to get people to keep going back and forth with you, remember, players will want to WANT to fight the villain, you get me? You can't just show up all evil and expect them to care. You need to MAKE them care, you need to MAKE them want to call you a fucking cunt. To say that YOU are the villain and you NEED to be taken out.

Finally we get to the specifics. Whatever theme your campaign is going for, spy and espionage, empire building, small-scale shenanigans, you need to understand the mind of a criminal. Start invading homes, buy a ski mask and rob a store, raise up an army of delinquents and start destruction around town, make a slavery ring, prep your home to a meth lab. Whatever it takes to truly BE that character. That VILLAIN you want your players to destroy.

Then mail each of them a pistol with a single bullet with the message "The session has begun. Can you stop the villain in time?"
At this point it's on the players, if they're shit then I guess you'll just have to go forward with the coup or something. The only appropriate punishment for their characters is torture for life.

So stop being a non-confrontational wuss OP.
Go and BE the villain you want to be.

On a serious note. Go practice speeches that are shouted or given by angry characters. Watch action movies and the like and try to follow along whenever a character is screaming their lungs out or are visibly trying NOT to go ape-shit on someone.
Learn to mimic rage and anger, then spit it back out when the movie isn't on. Try to get an audience. It's all acting.

And remember as others said, not all villains need to be angry murder hobos. Some are cool and collected to the very end, sometimes even "nice". Find references on what you want to emulate and practice mimicking it.

Or go start a fight or something, I dunno

I don't understand why people don't make use of third person narration more often. You're not a voice actor and will most likely suck at delivering any dialogue whatsoever.

This.
I usually like to imagine what my villain would say at random situations just to get a hang of the character.
I also like to keep a list of insults should I ever run out of ideas: rockfucker, ear-eating hippie, big meaty ears, etc etc.

No, I'm simply long enough on Veeky Forums and Veeky Forums to spot a bait thread or an easy ground for shitstorm from miles away.

Maybe, just maybe because third-person narrative really fucking sucks and is very lazy GMing.

I might try this, thanks. My main issue is that a character I introduced a session or two back has unintentionally become a villain. But I can't roleplay any antagonism very well.

>Maybe, just maybe because third-person narrative really fucking sucks
You must hate reading books then

>ear-eating hippie
>big meaty ears

Switch to text only and leave the idiotic voicefags(or meatfags) behind.

A dominatrix friend of mine says it can help to think of the people you're talking to as animals, maybe that applies here

that is surprisingly helpful