Imagine being an alien race from another...

IIRC in the old lore, the 40k universe existed in a bottle of a wizard in the WHFB universe, which was in turn contained into some other artifact in 40k.

>the dark energy is not an inherent motion of the universe but it is galactic alien empires distancing themselves as much as possible from whatever the fuck is going on with the milky way

The Milky Way is basically the Australia of the Local Group. Backwards, full of needlessly dangerous creatures, seems to operate by its own rules, getting infested with pests from another galaxy, oldest inhabitants are fucking assholes, and seems to somehow be a shitpost in physical form.

someone should writefag something about this.

How do you slap things with your penis? Are you supposed to make it go 'boyoyoing' like a doorstop or wield it like a club?

Depends on the purpose, for comedy you do the hands free pelvic wave for the doorstop look, to assert your unga bunga dominance you wield it like a club.

Thanks

Basically the 40k Universe is a depression within a depression.

That's everyone who isn't into warhammer whenever anyone talks about warhammer. We are already those aliens.

>Work as Cosmoscout from the capital of the Andromeda Republic
>Assigned to this decade's survey of the milky way, get to use sick new corvette with a gen 4 markov drive that will let me get my cluster done in a couple of weeks
>Flight out takes longer than expected as I had to go around a cloud of 30 quadrillion bug things
>finally get to my first star, get hailed by capital "ship" of a star fleet surrounding the only inhabitable planet
>It's a 3km long shitbox with an iron hull that's not even air tight, apparently "powered" by turbines scavenged from a hydroelectric dam
>Captain, who appears to be some sort of sentient fungus, babbles an unknown language at me and then cuts communication before I can respond
>Opens fire on my ship with what amounted to a massively oversized chemical gun, shots are enormous chunks of lead moving slower than my ship can on sub-light power
>consider just dodging until they run out of ammo, but decide to leave and come back later
>their ship is pitifully slow but keeps up with mine by opening a series of menacing looking wormholes, how they were tracking me at >1c I've no idea.
>each time the ship emerges from a wormhole, more parts are missing
>finally a wormhole opens and just ejects a bunch of scrap and hundreds of mushroom men into space
At least the pay is good

The warp is a universal constant, it's just that it's only a hellscape here cause of millions of years fucking it up

And then the original ship warps in

>purple "demons" keep beaming me sexually explicit messages (in my own language somehow) to lour me near their planets
>my species reproduces asexually
Fuck off space thots I'm trying to make a map here

They are mars-pattern cyberdongs, those things could crack a skull open.

If non-phychic aliens came to the milky way from outside the galaxy, would the fuck up the warp and give psyckers headaches like Blanks do, or would they just be "invisible"?

Well, you start with using it like a whip and move on to clubbing as you get into the mood

Isnt this just the origin story for the Tyranids? That's why theyre constantly screaming.

>Tyranids are actually decent enough aliens most of the time and their attack on the milky way is them just having a collective existential freakout

>our galaxy is eventually going to collide with that shitstorm
>consider galactic-wide destruction of Milky Way, to prevent any spread of contamination

>Tyranids are the Red Cross/Doctors without Borders of the universe, use their biotech to help aliens across the Local Group
>Immediately go into 'Kill it with fire!' mode when seeing the clusterfuck that is the Milky Way
I buy it

The shadow in the warp is the tyranid hivemind user.

but that's what tyranids are and why they decided there was nothing of value to be preserved.

>lour

Bump cause this thread has potential

I'd imagine they'd be like the Tau. Barely visible in the Warp and pretty much worthless to anything from it.

However, this would mean that, just like the Tau, they have no idea why all these funny ape like creatures are fleeing in terror from this funny looking shrine. I mean, it's just sitting there, what harm could it possibly do?

>Right Z'rooka, which planet are we studying today?

Planet 86b, in Sector 4

>Ok let's see what we've got here. Well, it appears to be an ice world. The pale white colour gives that away. Z'rooka, zoom in if you'd be so kind.

Right you are Arm'ta.

>Hmm...look at the size of those cities. They must hold billions, if not tens of billions; just look at the size of them. This must be a major industrial hub.

I don't know, it seems to be pretty quiet for such a major industrial world. Look at how many ships are coming in compared to the number leaving.

>A keen observation Arm'ta, make a note of it. Let's see if we can work out what's going on. Zoom in on that city there.

It..it looks like they're mass producing...books or...some sort of scroll. Look at all those transports moving paper throughout the city. Perhaps they're being taken to away for further processing?

>Yes, this is very suspicious. See that one there, watch it.

Gotcha.

>...

...

>No, I don't believe it.

But...but Arm'ta, we can see it's true. Look, I can zoom in even further to proove this.

>I know it's true Z'rooka, I just don't believe it. I mean why, why would you devote an entire planet to producing paper and then just dump it straight onto the floor? Look, the entire planet, paper. Why?

Let's...let's take a break.

>Yes...let's.

(Hell that was just a slightly out of control Administratum world. There's far more madness in the galaxy than that.)