Round 3

I knight thee, BardAnon...

(I suck at names)

How skalds will ever recover?

You think to snare away their mind,
With tales of knights withdrawn.
But in my verse I will remind,
Them of the amazon.

No need of heavy armored plate,
To guard their brazen flesh,
Instead they seek a worthy mate,
While clad in warrior's dress.

They do not hide away their form,
Or think your gaze atrocious.
For they find this just the norm,
And find you just precocious.

For amazons are used to suitors,
And are filled with godly power.
As demigods they're all cougars,
And all go "ara ara!"

Your verse is fine, but there's a flaw
An amazon can't read it
For all their dressing in the raw
They are, it seems, illiterate.

A partner who can't read or write
Will limit interaction
But if you date a ladyknight
They'll even take dic...tation

A culture that prides itself on art
Over killing a mangy lion
Will never tax your loving heart
And that you may rely on.

The amazons were from a time,
When few could read or write.
Their poems did not even rhyme,
So on that point, you're right.

But you forget the greatest truth,
That they don't die or wane.
And so with their eternal youth,
New skills they can attain.

And with the passing of the years,
And coming of your knights.
They'll know as much as all your peers,
And still look good in tights!

So... barbarian/savage amazons?
City-State Amazons?
Or Empire Amazons?

Im partial to city state, but I could be persuaded to get behind Empire Amazons

Personally I think Amazons are a great excuse for including swords and sandals elements.

In tights, perhaps, you might be right
For their legs are famously strong
But gaze slightly upward and stare in fright
At a chest that's gone terribly wrong.

"Inustis infantum dexterioribus mammis,
ne sagittarum iactus impediantur"
(This bit, rewritten in English,
means ""tits burnt off in a fire")

Marcus Junianus Justinus Frontinus
The famous historical Roman
Has preserved the tale for us
Of the amazon's denuded abdomen.

The price paid for skill at archery
to aid in the draw of a bow
might impede Veeky Forums's lechery
Unless they're all into guro.

The occasional scar might appeal
But a breast? That's an awful surprise
At archery they might excel
But they can only swim counterclockwise.

I’m happy you two have gotten into ye olde medeavil rap battle, but we can talk about maids?

You've wounded me, deep inside,
But now I must chastise.
For what you wounded was not pride,
Because of Justin's lies.

The idea of old mastectomies,
To make their arrows fly straight,
Were falsehoods from their enemies,
To explain their skills oh so great.

If you observe the ancient art,
With gaze directed to their chests,
You'll find not a single missing part,
For they all bore both of their breasts.

But either due to word or error,
They thought their archers maimed.
But don't despair or run in terror,
Gaze at their rack unshamed!

Good idea.

How do Maidazons work then? Maidknights work because since knights and maids both swear service to a lord.

Are Maidazons willing or unwilling? How do they perform their duties?

Well, due to the typical femdom nature, you've got two options.

>The Motherly Maid.
The amazon views you as adorable, and wants to serve you as best she can. Preparing nice healthy meals, and feeding them to you. While keeping your home spotless.

>The unwilling maid.
Somehow you've got a maidazon who doesn't want to be there. Forcing a proud warrior woman to serve you. Seeing her blush with humiliation as you force her to tend you hand and foot. The way she fumes as she gets down on her knees to scrub the floors for you. The first time ever she's been looked down on by a man.

Not Veeky Forums, for these threads are garbage

Is this basic bitch ABAB poetry supposed to woo anyone?

When a thread asks the voters to choose
'tween cuties clad in armor or thews
Pick knight or the 'zon
Your dignity's gone:
Whichever girl wins? We still lose

Anyone who wants anime in their game is a fetish fag and anyone who allows it is a filthy enabler of bad behaviour

I've yet to meet a weaboo that wasn't some kind of pervert mentally fapping to this shit and awkwardly injecting cringy innuendo into every bit of shitty RP. Losing their shit if their waifu is threatened and acting like a fucking child if they don't get their way.

TLDR: You're all fucking scum

Would you be wanting a poem in dactylic and hexameter?

Free verse
Is truly the choice of champions
I have like five qt brown anime tomboys sucking my dick
Right now

Calm the fuck down man

I'd break rhyme's strictures
if you'd post pictures

Since you're a joker
I'll rhyme mediocre.

No amazon
is strictly canon

Not until we purge every single weebthread from this board.

Tell me more senpai.

Chill the fuck out

They thrive on your anger, just look at for proof

I’m just imagining that one spongebob episode where the Maidazon is Spongebob and Squidward is user. Complete with special alphabet soup.

How does one coerce a Maidazon into service? Right of conquest? Trickery? Magic spell?

You know that thing where barbarian women are meant to only marry someone who defeats them in a contest?

It's like that, but for one request. And they requested them being a maid.

And it’s one of those blood oaths that you can’t break no matter what.

Perhaps it’s a custom that became ingrained over time? A famous hero ordered an amazon to be his made, the two went on adventures and she became a hero in her own right.

Maybe the word Maid was mistranslated over time. To Amazons it’s the equivelant to Knight, or shieldmaiden.

Maybe Amazons become maids to lords or ladies they serve, since their honor culture tells them to give 110% in everything, including serving others, and the only way to commit harder would be a slave, which would be dishonorable.

Whoever wins, Veeky Forums loses.

Easy, you did something to earn a lifedebt from an Amazon and she found your stash of maid cosplay and thus thinks she's supposed to dress as one in civilized lands.

If these shitty threads are going to get relentlessly spammed anyway, may as well let their posters know they're shitty.

How awfully would you mislead a naive amazon.

>Massive amazon woman in skimpy maid costume knocking people over in the market to get groceries for her master
>People come over and are greeted by 7ft+ woman looking down on them

Yes

Now this is a hard choice, as somebody who was solidly on team amazon before, I don't think I can choose.
Lets weigh the pros of each

Maidknight pros:
-potential for a haughty ojou-sama knight princess being forced to do maid work
-Maid outfits and armor go together like peanut-butter and chocolate.

Maidazon pros:
-Maidazon complaining about how her maid outfit is too constricting and cutting it down to an incredibly skimpy near-parody porn outfit while still conforming to maid aesthetics
-Alternatively, forcing her to wear a conservative maid outfit anyways and watching her get flustered over having to wear such frilly clothing

Feel free to weigh in.

If you cannot engineer 50 ways in which an amazon would be a maid in your head right now then you need to get off my board.

It's the powerless women that act like manipulative divas in the hom.
Women secure in their position have no need for bitchy tactics. Women that spend their professional life plotting keep it out of their personal life.

Shampoo from Ranma ½ in waitress mode?

>not being a butler to your lady or 'zon
Shame on you, girls are to be served.

You’ve convinced me, I want an escort consisting of a few of each. They’ll act as my personal guards escorting me while I go about my political duties

I'm voting the Amazon Lyrikos as the winner of this battle. Ladyknight Minstrel fought well, but I like the Amazon poems better.

...

>not supporting the clearly superior Ladyknight Minstrel and his dope rhymes

Aw, thanks. All I wanted was to give the amazons a fair showing. The ladyknight lyricist does great work.

Let the pawns squabble,
rabble
to my rouse.
Their division is my gain in
layin'
chaos on their house-

es. 'Cause my age is now.
How,
could you refuse my hand?
When it will make you king,
think,
this will be my land.

The knights and barbarians,
carefree and
so smug up high,
they could be your slaves,
knaves,
a gift of mine.

Let me not just describe
the bribes
that will buy your love.
I can be a lover,
discover the proof thereof.

Evil queens represent.