Welcome to Whose Turn is it Anyway, the thread where everything's made up and the initiative doesn't matter

>I trust you, and am proud to call you friend

>Things you did not expect to find in the Magical Realm.

>The DM

...

>Consensual heterosexual sex in the missionary position solely for procreation
and
>holding hands

Good game (I was wrong)

Character Development

A +5 longsword that turns anyone who wields it into a huge breasted amazon futa

wait you did not

The DM's kids.

>traditional home cooking

Platonic friendship between two individuals with no fucking.

My fetish

"Could you be my children's godfather?"

>Cursed items you might find in a Wal-Mart.

(Juuust gonna squeeze this in, totally didn't forget it, oh no)

Poptarts

I would agree, but I been proven wrong before

oh god please tell me this isnt a real thing

Genetics brand bacon icecream.

"How to train your Succubus" located in the childrens books section.

>myself

>Fur Boots of Binding Speed

Rascal of Swift Acquisition (limit 1 rider of 500 lbs)

>A booster pack of MtG
The curse is that its shadows over innistrad

A copy of FATAL (BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP)

Girdle of femininity.

>Things that your GM will never say to you.

An employee's uniform. Upon being touched, it forces its way onto your body and cannot be removed unless the curse is dispelled. For as long as the uniform remains on, you cannot leave the building and you are compelled to attempt to fulfill the wants and needs of customers and management.

im glad you're in my game

Great session everybody, we got a lot done.

I really love how my homebrew setting has progressed

...

>There will be no DMPC.

That sounds horrible

>What you just did is going to work out well for you long-term.

I love you.

>roll up a character
i'm forever GM

>Famous last words of the party's wizard.

You survived the session
;_;

>I cast magic missile at the darkness!

and for my next trick, I'll put this portable hole into a bag of holding!

Of course I know what I'm doi

I got thi-

>Dominate Person is an Intelligence save, right?

>Pfffft who needs fighters?

"I like you as much as him"

I cast lightning bolt. (while underwater)

>No one would think to set an anti-magic zone here!

I'm the only one with arcana proficiency right?

Shit, what’s Flight’s duration again?

>Things that That Guy would note on his sheet.

>DM said Princess was 'beautiful'- must motorboat dem tiddies.

other players magical items, especially if that guy is playing a rogue/thief or just CN

This is just like you!

Genital length and girth, as well as bust size

fucking degenerates

How long until sitting together on a park bench becomes acceptable

kids these days

>Dwarven Female (has penis)

We have mobilized our forces it is only a matter of time. Soon you will exchange...GREETINGS AND SMILES

>Things you would tell your GM, but not your girlfriend.

I cast terror on the pit trap!

I had a great time!

You dare enter my Magical Realm?

>Do you encourage role-playing?

I love you and don't feel trapped in this relationship.

I'm having an affair.

Leaving that hole uncovered you were literally asking to have it exploited by somebody.

Warm pleasantries!

My intellect will prove to be superior to strength

>things you shouldn't do with a pit of acid

Dive in after your dog jumps in

Suggest the Barbarian take a dive

Turn it into living slime

search secrets in that little hole on the opposite part of it

fuck it

Mentos and Diet coke

Magical lightning doesn't act how natural lightning does underwater (at least not in PF)

"accidentally" drop the rescued princess in it because she was a bitch

pretend you're the bard

Late but I had two of these in our last session and I get to share.
"And then I teleport next to the enemy wizard." (We found out what staff the enemy was using when our barbarian broke it. The staff was one of the ones that explodes.)
And also "I guess it's my turn to draw a card." (Void)

Nightly bedside prayers of the party.

I'm not usually a religious man, but that dwarf is really turning me on...

>lord, please forgive us for what we did to that village, their screams still haunt me... and all that honey, I still shake remembering what the wizard did to that poor dog, Jesus Christ
>also if you could give me a bigger penis

>in PF

Well, nobody gives a shit about that, luckily.

>Lord, please send me more bandits to kill tomorrow.

"No honey, we're not going where you want us to go, today we're going THIS way"

youtube.com/watch?v=eGQEAiZJMco

Our GM who art behind the screen! Hallowed be thine rolls. Thine sessions come. Thine will be done IG and OOG. Give us our XP and loot today, and forgive us our redflags as we forgive you yours. Do not lead us into alignment change, and drive us from Chaotic Evil. In the name of Role, Rolls, and Rules, amen!

KEEP THEM COMING, O FIERY ONE

I don't know which gods or ancestors my Crane Bushi prays to. I should figure that out.

Thanks user.

Gave me a chuckle