Hey /b/ I don't have any fucking Idea of how to play D&D. Can you help me create a character?

Hey /b/ I don't have any fucking Idea of how to play D&D. Can you help me create a character?

no

Rolled 8 (1d9)

Sure, why not, I'm bored.

There are nine standard races, so we'll roll a d9 to determine race.

Rolled 9 (1d12)

I forgot to mention that we'll be going alphabetically for random determinations unless I say otherwise.

8 is Human. Congratulations! You're a standard fantasy character already.

Next we'll roll a d12 to determine class.

Rolled 3 (1d9)

Ooh, Rogue! My favorite class. Next we'll determine Alignment. Instead of alphabetical, this will follow the normal method of listing them: LG, NG, CG, LN, TN, CN, LE, NE, CE.

>hey /b/
Fuck off

I'm actually interested in this, gonna monitor the step by step posts.

Rolled 6, 3, 2, 4, 4, 5, 1, 6, 5, 1, 6, 2, 5, 2, 3, 3, 5, 4, 3, 1, 4, 2, 3, 1 = 81 (24d6)

Chaotic Good Human Rogue. I like the sound of this. Could be Aladdin. Could be Robin Hood. Could be some jackass thief who doesn't have the balls to commit to CN or CE. That's up to you, OP.

Next we determine ability scores. Because we're not pussies we're going 4d6 drop lowest STRAIGHT DOWN.

PRAY TO YOUR RNGOD, OP, BUT KNOW THAT YOUR PLEAS FALL ON DEAF EARS.

Rolled 5 (1d13)

Huh. Deaf ears, but not ones without mercy. Good job, OP, I'm guessing you're sucking off the RNGod on the side or something.

Next we should determine Background randomly, so that we know what skills we're getting automatically. Once again it's straight down the list from the 13 in the PHB.

Rolled 6, 1, 4, 1 = 12 (4d11)

Folk hero! Looks like you're definitely leaning Robin Hood. That gives you Animal Handling and Survival automatically. Now we'll randomly pick 4 skills from the Rogue suite of skills, of which there's 11. So we'll roll 4d11. If any number repeats, we'll use the next-highest number, looping around as necessary.

Holy fuck, D&D has gotten complicated nowadays.

Rolled 1 (1d2)

So that looks like Acrobatics, Athletics, Investigation, and Insight. Not bad. Oddly lacking in the Stealth department, but then if you think about it so was Robin Hood in the original stories - he wore bright red, not green.

That's just about everything...except we need a name! First we'll determine gender. 1 = female, 2 = male.

Name a version of DnD less complicated than 5e.

Rolled 16 (1d17)

A girl! OP's playing a girl! Let's all point and laugh at OP. While we do, I'm breaking out Xanathar's Guide to Everything. There are 17 random Human name tables drawing from real-world historical cultures. We'll randomly determine one.

Rolled 60 (1d100)

Slavic! So Our Hero's name is now determined by a d% roll.

Morana, not bad.

There we go, that's everything that isn't just filled out by consulting starting equipment. I did the work for you, OP. Thank me.

The original Red Box?

OD&D white box.

Rolled 8 (1d10)

You know what, still bored. Let's flesh out Morana a bit.

Folk Hero, eh? Time for her Defining Event.

Rolled 7, 5 = 12 (2d8)

Neat. Some kind of flower war, maybe, or a protest.

Personality traits!

Rolled 6, 6, 4 = 16 (3d6)

Ideal, bond, and flaw

Rolled 5, 5, 2 = 12 (3d6)

Aw, that Bond is precious. Do something with that, OP.

Since she's a Rogue, we can now break out Xanathar's Guide: d6s each for her Guilty Pleasure, Adversary, and Benefactor.

Rolled 4 (1d6)

OP, do not misuse that Benefactor. And make sure your DM doesn't, either. Maybe make it a Beggar King (female) or something. Wait, that might just tempt your DM even more.

I'm not prepared to go through the full random family history thing in Xanathar's Guide for Morana, but let's at least see what her reason for becoming a Rogue is. After that, someone else can take over.

And there we go.

Someone make some art or something.

Here ya go!

her tits aren't nearly big enough for a CG roguette with a guilty pleasure for expensive foods and drink.

>not pussies
>4d6 droplow

My ancestors are laughing at you

>I'm a grog
>I'm a grooooooooog
>play my shitty outdated editions and rules
>I'm a groooooooog

Fuck off.