Ring of three wishes

Make three wishes as a player and three wishes as one of your RP characters.

My three wishes as a player:
I wish I had friends. I wish I wasn't depressed. I wish I only needed to sleep a normal human amount.

Infinite wishes
Unlimited wishes
Fuckload of wishes

More money!
To be king!
Sixteen beautiful wives!
Do I get more wishes?

As a player
>I wish my GM wasn't such a cunt about granting wishes.
>I wish people would roleplay and get into character more.
>I wish we had a bigger space to play in, my apartment is fucking tiny.

As my character
>I wish that fucker at the wizard college had taste buds in his asshole.
>I wish he could hear me laughing at him.
>The fuck do you mean "you only have 1 wish left?" You're only giving me 3 wishes? Fuck I wish you would've told me that sooner.
>...Oh go fuck yourself.

As a player
>For Tabletop Simulator or a similar product to become ubiquitous and well-supported by companies so that people can board game with friends all around the world.
>For game design and development to become well esteemed and paying careers so that more people enter the industry with the intention of creating great games.
>To, without modifying my personality and memories, be turned into an attractive 20 year old woman so I can shed this decayed form (to Mumm-ra, the ever-living!) and become a cute game streamer and reviewer

As a character, my female Malocusian who is a consumer tech streamer.
>For other vampires to not be able to locate my web
>For my web to stop draining people for more vitae than we need to survive, I invite guests over so I don't have to go outside and hunt ffs
>To be able to remain awake during the day so long as I am within my web

>you are turned into a genie, giving you unlimited wishes, but only for other people and still bound by extensive rules

>your friend is a volleyball with a face on it
>your depression turns into mania
>you sleep 8 hours a day, but also narcolepsy, causing you to fall asleep in public while walking

>your GM allows any wish to happen but twists wishes in the worst possible way
>your players roleplay too seriously and it becomes annoying for everyone, as they all have different ideas about how the tone of the setting is, and clash violently
>you inherit a large abandoned warehouse in the bad part of town, you lose your old place as well

>the wizard realizes you did that to him, and uses his own wish that you would taste whatever his asshole tasted instead of he

Player?
I don't wish. You're gonna be a cunt anyway.

Character?
I wish my wishes had no drawbacks, including this one.
The other two I sell to the highest bidder.

I wish for an unused Lawful Evil Candle of Invocation. Repeat two more times.

>as a player
you mean as I am? waifu, money, magical powers

or do you mean focusing on player perspective? good luck with dice, people stop flaking, during game imagination becomes more vivid

>character
money, bitches, booze

OP here, this noob is not me and needs to go back to plebbit.

If your wishes are clear and well intentioned they don't have any reason to backfire since the genie of the ring was the nice guy genie.

I wish for the power to manipulate reality in any way that I can imagine, without negative consequences to myself.
You can keep the other wishes, buddy.

>you can wish all you want, but none are granted

As a player
>I wish they could take this seriously just once
>I wish I could do more voices
>I wish I could roll better

As my character
>I wish to understand what everyone else is always talking about
>I wish my creator didn't die because of my failure
>I wish to always be strong enough to protect my friends

Being the warforged equivalent of Pinocchio is a sad existence .

Player
>That I could understand d20 based games, including 5e, as well as the smartest people on Veeky Forums do
>That I could get a goddamn Traveller game together without using the internet or lgs ads
>That I'll have the motivation and ability to properly write and publish all the settings I've tried to work on

Character:
>I want my ship fully paid off
>Enough money to buy a decent planet
>And the ability to make sure nobody tries to take the planet from me.

>player
I wish for a magic study book on every subject ever, which should let me recall anything i've read in the book with perfect accuracy at will.
I wish my talents wouldn't deteriorate when not exercised.
I wish for a big book of common dimensional addresses, complete with an addendum for accessing Tellusian afterlives.

>PC:
A homestead in a world which has no issues with eldritch beings, nor anything that could induce insanity,
A portable wellspring of sanity-restoring water.
A Shalissean Crystal Rose, embedded in a wedding ring.

>Make three wishes as a player

I wish I were no longer clinically depressed.

I would have no use for the other two after that one.

>As player
Two hundred fifty million US dollars, untaxed, deposited into my savings account, and untraceably stolen and converted when necessary from the bank accounts of serial killers, active drug dealers, criminal kingpins, crooked police, unrepentant sex offenders, and top Electronic Arts and Bethesda corporate executives, the world over. Also for no one except for those who I want to know, to find anything off about my sudden, massive fortune.

That's honestly it for me as a player off the top of my head. I get specific because even good intentioned genies might not realize I don't want to risk upsetting the economy with money from nowhere. Also, while in the process deny some assholes beer money.

Character wishes,...

>Arhjun dragon born city guard captain
"My city fixed, the dead citizens restored to life, and the orc tribes who attacked us to all spontaneously explode and their souls fed to Tiamat"

I wish Hemorrhagic smallpox was common place again.

that's what you think right now in your depressed state.

the ride never ends.

No seriously, I've thought it over: If I weren't depressed then at least I'd have other shit to worry about that was bothering me. At least I could direct all my anger an frustration to an external source instead of spending all day lying in bed hating myself. And hopefully I could channel all that into something more productive as I seek to overcome challenges and obstacles. Instead of just sitting around wondering how the hell am I going to be less depressed.

As player
>I wish for all lost, forgotten, and destroyed currency in the world to be gathered, converted to USD and deposited as cash in my home office.

>I wish for every redeemable, lost, forgotten, and/or destroyed bond in the world to be collected, restored to original condition of destroyed, and placed in orderly stacks in my home office.

>I wish for the genie/wish granting entity to act as a supernatural liason between me and any persons I should wish to deal with without revealing my identity.

As a character
>I wish for the ability to protect my kith and kin, regardless of the nature of the threat and the personal cost to me.

>I wish for all of my children and their progeny to live their lives in good health.

>I wish for you, the genie/wish granting entity, to be freed from this ring, and for you to take a place of veneration as the Guardian spirit of my familial line.

>I wish that wish-granters would honor the spirit and intent of wishes, over any possible literal or creative interpretation.

>I wish for another wish granting ring to replace the one I currently own as it is a monkey’s paw that is attempting to screw me over. The new ring is controlled purely by my intent and produces the most desired result according to my current mind state.

As a player
>A regular group with well sympathetic individuals being as good as Gming as they are as players
>A comfy place to play with them
>

As a character (an exiled court Jester)
>To go back home with his title and honor back
>For the noble woman he had an affair with to not be married anymore so he could get with her
>For the little jester boy that helped him survives in a foreign land to have a good and wealthy life

>>I wish for you, the genie/wish granting entity, to be freed from this ring, and for you to take a place of veneration as the Guardian spirit of my familial line.
That counts as two wishes

>That counts as two wishes
It's all in the wording
>>I wish for you, the genie/wish granting entity, to be freed from this ring by taking a place of veneration as the Guardian spirit of my familial line.

>player
I wish that warlocks, tieflings and drow were no longer playable races
>character
I wish that warlocks, tieflings and drow were extinct

As player:
Omnipotence
Omnipotence
Omnipotence

As character:
Omnipotence
Omnipotence
Omnipotence

As a player
>better time management to be able to play more
>better health so I won't have to skip sessions because nasty cold
>better rollplaying ability so I stop trying to minmax every time and stop making characters with the personality of "me, but slightly different"

As Sylvia the panther sorceress, one of my vore ERP characters
>finally getting the hang of those polymorph spells
>a proper alchemy table
>ability to comfortably let her victims go free

>do more voices
Or at least do better accents, fuck.

How quickly would you or your character fall into self-imposed challenges in everything so as to avoid being mind-numbingly bored all the time?

But I'm a GM...

Player:
>I wish these games were just full on virtual reality like some SAO or Code Lyoko shit.
>I wish I was a really good writer with foresight.
>I wish I won the lottery that offered the most amount of money possible.

Character:
>I wish my name was secret again.
>I wish I knew way more spells.
>I wish I had that magic sword I wanted.

Wishes made assuming the granter isn't a dick about this and honors the spirit of the wishes.

Player:
>I wish for wealth, so I may dedicate myself to intellectual pursuits.
>I wish for health, so my mental ailments no longer hold me back.
>I hold my third wish for circumstances of my life. I need nothing further now but may in the future where having a wish might be handy.

Character:
>I wish to bring my wife back to life, for I miss her terribly and she was taken before her time.
>I wish for power, that I may fight against the evils of the Overlord who rules us with a brutal fist.
>I wish for wealth, that I may fund the resistance against the Overlord that is in desperate need of resources.

There, have some wishes.