Rolled 500 (1d500)
>Babies
>The Middle East
>Civil War
Okay... the last two are totally valid, but the-- OOOOOHHH WAIT A MINUTE. Fucking kill me, I have an idea.
CHECK IT OUT: So there's this desert land, yeah? And there's this government, they're trying to put down some rebels, who've set up a real nice other nation on the other half of the place, and it's gonna be a real long war, because ain't nobody got firearms, but we got explosions and healing magic, and that's cool and shit. Also, when the two human souls intermingle (i.e., two people confess their love for each other, or some shit like that, I'm talking about Fire Emblem-level of S-Support bullshit), this causes a schism in space-time and shit to be created, and spit out a kid that shares powers from both the mother and father.
Initially, Level 1 characters have a stat total of 6 or some shit, split between Tough, Cool, and Cute. Why it's Cute, and not Sexy, don't fuckin' ask me, I don't even know. Anyway, assign each to a stat: Attack, Defense, and Magic. They'll be used for rolls of that type. Choose a class to be: Mage, Fighter, something else, Iunno, Ranger?
It's gonna be like, iunno, roll a 2d6, add the relevant stat and shit, and it's gonna have ridiculous amounts of bonuses, because you're gonna stack stats like it's nobody's business.
Something something marriage, something something love system, whatever. Kids not only go through the Level 1 process again, but also gain half of the two highest stats from their parents. Then, they gain a level in each of their parent's class, thus enabling them to take even better classes.
I'll try and reroll the first one, just to see what better I'll get.