Your favorite barmaid has just contracted the Black Death

Ask what was unsatisfactory with my services, and if she needed another kneebreaker why hire someone whose moniker sounds like an animal cock biomod. Ask if it actually is an animal cock biomod. Suggest she sits down with the rest of us and talk, because after the fur and the second boobjob and the fox ears and replacing a perfectly healthy spine so she could have a real tail maybe she has a problem. We're there for her.

Being a cleric is more than just praying for like a year or two dude.

Cure disease is also a level 3 spell, meaning a cleric needs to be level 5. Those people are kinda uncommon and even if you could find one you would need to prove to them that you're worth their time and effort. You're bitching about things you don't even understand.
Not to mention that Cure Disease still has a chance of failing

Why the fuck are scifags the most obnoxious fuckers ever.
Just play a normal character holy fuck.

What's wrong with sci fi foxgirls?

Did your monocle pop before you typed that?

Quite.

Lay on Hands and get rid of it.

>I cast Cure Disease.
On which limb?

The diseased one.

Also he wonders why theres a human barmaid and not a sex robot handing out government sanctioned rations.

It still pops up occasionally now, so it might continue to do so in the 25th century. It's easily treatable, so it's not a problem anymore, just a weird thing that you see every once in a while because bacteria is stubborn like that.

>plot twist: you were the black death all along

I cast Miracle and cure everyone in the town at once

>It still pops up occasionally now, so it might continue to do so in the 25th century. It's easily treatable, so it's not a problem anymore, just a weird thing that you see every once in a while because bacteria is stubborn like that.
Pretty sure by the 25th century we'll all be able to alter our bodies to avoid dying to stuff like nature.

>How is curing someone of a disease stupid
Because it's way too easy, and automatically obliviates any "find a cure for X disease" plotlines and destroys any potential dramatic tension of the PCs catching a disease themselves. But that's what D&D is, it's "apply X spell / skill to X situation and it's done." It's fitting pegs to holes. It's stupid and always has been and that's part of why people hate D&D so much.

>we'll all be able to alter our bodies to avoid dying to stuff like nature

At what cost?
The cosmic winds howl.

Have you got the newest fashion genes this season?

Well obviously we quarantine her in a dark, damp basement immediately and pray we did not get infected, burning down the entire bar but not before contacting one of those Plague Doctors.

It's only the right thing to do, bar patrons and all.

Name anything ever where the answer to problem X isn’t a solution to problem X.

Not so uncommon, especially in a ton of published settings. There'd be several in major cities. And I'm sure anyone not in the god of disease church would agree that stopping the spread of a highly contagious plague would be worth their time.

Also, so I misrecalled which spell level cure disease was, fucking sue me, it doesn't change the crux of the argument. Magical healing that isn't severely limited (e.g. not anyone can become a magical cleric) entirely closes off entire swathes of world building, so that any such setting that even sort of resembles historical settings is trash.

I like you.

As a Paladin, no charge necessary. If you insist, donate a few copper or a silver to the local good temple.

No, you are wrong. I just cast Lesser Restoration and be done with it.
Maybe not assume D&D next time when you do greentext questions like a nufag, you might get interesting answers instead.

Magic diseases may not be so easily cured.
>looters open King Amakamans tomb
>open his crypt, sealed for 2,000 years
>"whosoever disturbs my slumber will bring ruin wherever they walk"
>meh nbd, we in it for that sweet $$$$
>OhFuckWeActivatedHisTrapCard.png
>everyone now bleeding out their eyes and vomiting black ichor, which eventually congeals into a black pudding/ooze
>oh its contagious
>oh look the village healers are dead too
>uh oh looks like a traveling merchant has the sniffles
>oh look that prostitute looks sick... wait wasnt she at temple yesterday?
>why is the town square empty?

Mummy curses a bitch

As soon as more then 2 people that day are sick or they only have prepared 1 of those spells a day, then they’re fucked.
Transmission of most plague diseases means within a day you’ll already have more people ill with the disease (without showing any obvious symptoms yet, but still transmitting the disease to new people) then even the highest-level spellcaster can heal in a day or two.

Even FR, which gives a population count for how many Clerics of what level are in their major temples in stuff like 2e, would actually pretty much be instantly overwhelmed as soon as a major infection hit a huge population center merely because they don’t have enough people that can cast the right kind of spell enough times a day to do anything except counter the most obvious cases, at which point crude medical sciences means that they’re probably still transmitting the contagion.

Well there's always Curse of the Crimson Thtone, a pathfinder campaign that includes the spread of a plague and yes, it will totally fuck over the city because there aren't bearly enough people capable of countering it, even if you involve every cleric, druid, oracle, paladin, shaman, witch, alchemist and med student with even a single rank of Heal in the region. At best you can reduce the fatalities, keep the city from becoming a ghost town, but even then it's a massive effort amid other pressing issues.

*Throne
*nearly
Damn phone posting

>implying a Cleric or Paladin "owns" magic and has the right to sell it
That magic belongs to the Gods, and They have no interest in money. A life enriched by worship and humility is the only payment the Gods require.

>Thinking you can put out a wildfire with a bucket of water
The best thing is to let the city burn to the ground. It's sick, corrupted to the core. It needs to die.

oh well, that's too bad. guess I'll have to find a new favorite.

i know everyone is saying "oh she doesn't owe the adventurers anything because goodness of their hearts or whatever etc etc", but somehow, i suspect that might not stop her from trying to pay them back anyway.

>WHEN YOU REALIZE YOU'RE SO FUCKED UP SEXUALLY YOU TOTALLY WOULD THE BARMAID'S FUCKING BOIL ARMPIT BOILS THAT ARE LITERALLY PUS FILLED ARMPIT BREASTS AT THAT POINT FROM THE PLAGUE WITH YOUR DICK ALL OVER IT

>WHEN THIS IS ALSO THE PEFECT IDEA FOR A NURGLE/SLAANESH DAEMONETTE, PUS-JOB ARMPITS, MULTIBOOB, INTO FART, SCAT, PISS AND NOT WASHING BUT SMELLING LIKE THAT ONE WOMAN YOU WOULD BREED SO HARD YOU WOULDN'T EVEN SHOWER UNTIL YOU BUSTED A NUT INTO HER WOMB THE THIRD TIME GOING, BECAU EVERY TIME YOU DID, SHE'D EAT YOUR ASS RUBBING ALL OF HER SHIT IN HER SWEAT AND SEXUASHTION THAT YOU'D THINKK SHE WAS CLEANING AN INDUSTRIAL WHORE STAIN

You needed caps for that, didn't you?

Next time,
>rub one out before posting

I immediately engage in forceful vigorous sexual intercourse with the Black Death.

But 5E's Lesser Restoration doesn't require any material components? Or is that just what you want the barmaid to believe? Clever.

Burn the coal, pay the toll.
Alternatively, BD ain't no VD.

>so that any such setting that even sort of resembles historical settings is trash.
This implies that D&D in any way shape or form has ever tried to be historical. and that not being historical is a bad thing.

It's not, except when a plot point revolves around it.

>Anima wizard
Heal Diseases(Arcane Level), followed by Regeneration(Arcane), followed by Recover(Base), then give her an enchanted flower tattoo behind her ear that boosts her Disease Resistance by +50.
Total Zeon cost: 1100.
Materials consumed in the tattoo: 1 oni horn, acquired fresh.
Having favorite barmaid not die from the black death: priceless.

Or, you know, you just suffice with gratitude and say she owes you some drinks now and then, possibly drop some corny line about the drinks being much better when she serves them, and carry on. If nothing else, you've now got someone who'll sing your praises to anyone who'll listen.

>>your favorite barmaid just contracted the Black Death
>She hired the famous assassin?
>Who does she want dead?
>Why didn’t she come to us, we wouldn’t have charged as much!

The fix that pathfinder does is that the spell only gets you a caster level check against the disease DC rather then auto pass. If the disease has MR that could be a rather hard check to pass.

>Hey guys, let's go risk our lives so I may be able to pay back the dude that told me he needs no compensation

>extrapolating someone's intelligence from one line
>preemptively begs them to not answer his own shit question

My two favorite things in the bar are in jeopardy? That simply won't do.

Okay, here's the game plan, we're going to give her a healing potion to keep her going while we look for someone to cure her.

is an interesting reply. T
Yours is not.

Then I’ll just frequent my second favourite barmaid three cities away, that’s the point of keeping favourites innit?

Ya thick dolt

Why do you think she is my favorite barmaid?

Ya got that backwards, duder.

Just as planned