How does one do barbarians right?

how does one do barbarians right?

Depends on the game system.
If you look at AD&D 2e for example, Barbarian is a kit that can be put on most classes that removes their literacy, gives some bonuses to nomadic life-styles, and tells them to RP being superstitious.
In such a case, one "does" a barbarian right by playing someone who is unused to the sedentary lifestyle, if not seeing it as inherently wrong.

Ignore all their interpretations in fantasy as being pantherlike, athletic warriors and instead make them a dumb MMO tank that gets stabbed a lot for no damage while sometimes getting angry.

>Don't learn how to read
>Don't bother to learn how to read
>Hate wizards
>Respect sorcerers and druids
>Shit in the woods

A mentally ill individual with violent outbursts.

Like a ranger without the magic bullshit.

the details may vary but the root matter is that barbarians are the fantasy Chad.

>Think of any culture that has been described as savage or uncivilized by Europeans in the last thousand years
>Research the stereotypes said white people had about chosen culture. Exaggerate any physical differences between your chosen heathen and civilized people (Be certain not to include actual, real practices or actions held by these people)
>Play that without apology or sense of irony

Bonus points if you are tribal or practice casual pillaging and/or rape

Although it's not a good system overall I do like the way that Dungeon World does Barbarians. Their defining trait is just 'being from somewhere else'. Their homeland is assumed to be far enough away that it will never be seen in-game and a few of their abilities involve making up interesting practices or traits of your people.

Read the Conan stories and make him like that instead of a retard.

You tie her up, bend her over, force her shoulders against the ground with all your might, take her from behind and then whisper "I'm fucking your sister on the side" in her ear. As long as you keep pushing down on her shoulders it'll be the ride of a lifetime.

Easy.

I make a character that's from any culture that isn't Roman.


Done

Depends, do you mean Barbarians the class or Barbarians the group of people?

I rather liked the 4e way of handling it as both theme and class. Being a barbarian (The primitive) is easy, any class can take one of several themes that give that general thematics (They even had some explanations on what a barbarian 'wizard' would use in the Dark Sun books rather than a spellbook). The Barbarian class wasn't tied to being a primitive, instead you were a living link to the great heroes of the past and drew on their strength to empower yourself.

>player dumbs INT and acts like a retard because "I'M A BARBARIAN DOHOHO"

>bar bar Roman bar bar XDDD
You mean Hellenic, barbarian.

Glorantha has then as a cultural group and their most defining traits are the facts that they organize in clans and are usually polytheistic. Barbarian are a taste sigh since those usually require more rigid structures and specialization.
Literacy is it's own skill even for City do since it's a bronze age setting.

Autistically imagine yourself to be an amazing battle- and sex-god and then self-insert.

Insert the soul of a neet into the most well built of bodies and it will still end up a neet.

Barbarians are actually just people with immense rage inside of them, who have managed to harness the power of said rage.

This. Being a barbarian doesn't mean being stupid or being unable to control your anger. Conan is great because he's cunning and only feigned barbaric stupidity so that his civilised opponents underestimated him.

How would a barbarian wizard work?

Channeling the old gods and rage based magic.
Sort of like the skills of barbarians in Diablo being based on their animal gods/spirits

Shaman

Make him a half-djinn and pursuit the enlightened path of muscle wizardry.

Your uneducated, not stupid

That's a berserker, not a barbarian.

you don't
You make it and play it and it will be wrong