You accidentally kill the Dwarf King's son while assisting him in the application of a wine enema (for medical purposes)

>You accidentally kill the Dwarf King's son while assisting him in the application of a wine enema (for medical purposes)

wat do

use smallest char to impersonate dwarf son for rest of campaign

Raise Dead. Whew, good thing I'm a spellcaster. I could be in real trouble right now.

how would the father be ok with this? how could he be fooled into thinking his son is not an animated corpse?

Resurrection is not necromancy. Animating a corpse is necromancy.

>Not banning res spells

phew for a second you would of had to actually do something!

That sounds like a really cool idea for a campaign

Being an adventurer means solving problems. The problem is solved, and didn't end in more problems. I don't see where the issue is.

> would of

Warlock detected, fuck off you metaphysical manwhore, us scholars of the arcane want nothing to do with your kind of inneficient sorcery.

oh no, i get it, why adventure through a trapped dungeon when you can mage hand that item across the floor?
we are invested in the pursuit and application of knowledge, not showing off with spellz

>wine enema (for medical purposes)

>Warlock detected, fuck off you metaphysical manwhore, us scholars of the arcane want nothing to do with your kind of inneficient sorcery.

>scholars
>inneficient
Irony

So you turn a young Dwarf into a 'Gutbuster?' Just tell the King he died as he lived- full of booze, and little shit.

Sounds like a true dwarven death to me.

>kill dwarf queen
>disguise myself as her
>beg the king to spare the rest of the party's lives
>later that night when he's about to sire an heir i lift up my dress and attack him
>arcane focus is gemstone in my cockring
>blast him point blank with a handful of d6's while he's naked and surprised
>am now queen (male) of entire kingdom

>300 years later, Dwarven scholars have to put all this fucking debacle in histroy books.
>Asking a dwarf historian about the period is a remarkably effective tactic to get a free beer, if you`re willing to change the subject.

>Weekend at Urist's

What kind of bitch ass dwarf drinks (((wine)))?

Dwarf Fortress dwarves? Plump helmet wine is a very common drink among them.

All communion with the dead is necromancy, including Resurrection. You mean to say that Resurrection does not create undead.

>Not making res spells ubiquitous to the point that any lowly priest can cast them, but only the chosen champions of the gods can be ressed.

>(((wine)))

come on

Could easily be barley wine or honey wine (aka mead)

>you have to be 18 to post on this site

French dwarfs.

Wouldn't dying from alcohol poisoning be a great shame to a Dwarf? I feel the King would try and hide this fact from his kingdom, and try and silence the PCs, either by violence or bribery.

This

Any civilization worth its salt is going to make wine, no matter how crude it's going to be, good example is Klingon Bloodwine

"Yes my King, he died gloriously in battle against the foul Orc king, you should go to war with him at once"

>Then I go to a neighboring kingdom at war with the Orcs and tell them for a fee that I can get them dwarven allies.