Mom finds out I made modest crypto gains

>mom finds out I made modest crypto gains
>she's really proud and happy for me
>asks me to explain what I did so she can brag about me to her friends
>no idea what I did
>no idea what my coins do
>no idea what is making them moon

I pretended the phone got cut off. Please help me sound smart by tomorrow morning when she's coming to visit with homemade celebration cookies.

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Just tell her you are trading cryptocurrencies and that it's basically the new gold rush. I can't believe you brainlets sometimes.

Just throw around a bunch of words like decentralized, finite supply, muh internet of things. Normalfags will just nod their heads, you're fucked if your mother actually happens to be tech savvy though but that's unlikely.


>Cousin is a developer and into tech
>Tell him I made 7k off Litecoin
>Starts talking to me about public ledgers and blockchain
>Smile and nod politely

read the whitepapers of the coins you boosted

and be honest about why you invested to being with

Check YouTube for someone who knows more than you and regurgitate information. Make momma proud user

>hi mommy i just clicked a few buttons and now im rich

>I'm in-vestin' in da blawkchane tek-nu-loh-gee so dem' smart kawntrekts can automatize the digital indus tree.

Tell her you redirect funds to cutting tech technology and thereby lay the foundations for the market of the future.

Just read ethereum's whitepaper to her. And tell her your friend Vitalik said hi

Just tell her you invested in a couple of fintech startups and got lucky

>"I'm a blockchain asset-manager."

I'm afraid she's going to take an interest and invest a tiny bit in my coins. I don't want her to gamble money on coins that I barely understand. I want to tell her it's very volatile but I don't want her to worry either! I'm ashamed to tell her about my coins though because they sound stupid!

You should try to get her to let u have sex with her holes for a litecoin that'll show her!

luv u

NEVER tell anyone about your crypto gains until you have crashed out to fiat. You're setting yourself up for a world of embarrassment.


Invest in FUN for her. Explain it is a gambling platform backed by an algorithim anybody can check so it isn’t probably fair. It’s the coin that’s is easiest to understand, explain, and has an obvious market that normies are already familiar with (gambling). Also tell her who Jez San is. Easy sell.

uh be an adult user. scared to tell mommy things.

well what coins do you have?
also why has nobody else asked this


tell your mom, you are saving black people from drugs and guns..
when she turns on the news and sees that one news story about the prodigal black kid that invested in xrp, she will think of you and be proud of you...

at least your family isn't trying to jew you, or instigate violence against you because you know how to make money with a computer.
or complaining because the btc they bought at thanksgiving only went up 2 grand in a month..
why isn't it 30 grand now?

never tell anyone in real life about your crypto.
especially family.

unless you have a cool family, then w/e.


If OP sounds like you then get the fuck out of crypto because you have no idea what the fuck you're doing.

OP probably holds all of his coins on an exchange and just buys whatever hits the front page of /r/cryptocurrencies.

Sell everything and kys


imagine telling your mum you bought in to the xrb scam

>mfw my friend asked me what a blockchain is

>Oh, and this is my son's bedroom. He is quite the invest..

Mommy is so proud of her special little boy~

off to work now honey, good luck with your bitcorns today!!

*kisses ur hed*

Just say your trading stocks

>hey mom, you'll be glad to hear I discovered a form of digital alchemy that allows me to turn memes into money


my mom also gets really happy knowing im making money.

i explained my boss blockchain when I had no idea what it us, mostly made up, and he said that it sounded awesome and made perfect sense. LMAO

I say just tell her you are investing in this emerging blockchain sector, you're not an expert but you've tried projects that seemed solid. The sector is generally on an upward trend and you're ahead of the curve by being invested. It's volatile, but you're trying to exercise appropriate caution. Tell her you are comfortable with the risk yourself, but you don't think you are enough of an expert to recommend any particular investment.

ark basically connects every blockchain with smartbridge. that's all you need to know about it.
for omg just say it's a decentralized exchange that eliminates the need for a third party when exchanging coins

don't tell her about doge unless you don't have a lot in it


wow solid advice


Just tell them you've been trading different currencies that change in a volatile worldwide market due to events such as news, updates, partnerships and real world applications.

Tell her to spend $100 on getting some XRB and then let her know to just forget about it for a year

After a year passes and she checks up on her XRB, she'll find that she'll have made $900+ profit

Tell her the truth

You are gambling money in shitcoins based on who memes them the hardest with no potential real world use.

Why's that?

>hey mom i'm going to be a millionaire by years end :DDD
>lose everything
>nooo honey you don't have to jump off the house, mommy and daddy still love you even as a poor neet


Im 1 year here and I still dont know what any of the coins do, what a blockchain is or what ledgers are.
The only thing I know is that bitcoin has some real world use in some rare cases. Thats it.

Comfiest 100k ever

top jej

If we fuck up (which shouldn't happen) after telling people we made $10,000 in the last month, they'll just think we're blowing smoke up their ass. Plus, never reveal your powerlevel because friends and family will constantly jeopardize relationships over money. Friends also start to have contempt for you when you have 100x more dollarydoos than them.

you're adorable

say you'd like her to incest too

The pump is in "5 hours". Get in user. The best part is the coin will be announced to all at the same time.

No time advantage to higher ranks unlike other groups..

discord dot gg/rWvbMpg

Just say OMG will unbank the banked. Or bank the unbanked. I don't remember who cares ? Normies will be impressed if you use big words


I already did. And she is proud that I more than doubled my money in 4 days.

tell her about cryptokittys and fishys

I usually just tell normies that it would be like investing in Apple shares while Steve jobs was still tinkering in his garage. Be glad your mom is happy. Mine is extremely skeptical and would rather have me wageslave myself to death. The reason they moon is because you just happened to buy in before the big news and most new coins get a place in the spotlight. Now spin that in a way that makes you sound smart

repeat after me

"I researched coins with lower market cap. [Insert market cap definition here], then I looked at their board of directors and main investors. If it looked like they had a good team, I invested. Rinse and repeat."

Dude, just be open about the fact that you picked coins based on which ones had a funny logo and promising looking chart. Whitepaper reading is for virgins. Shitcoins are all shit anyway and no matter what you say normies are too pussy to invest in something this volatile.


This is literally all of Veeky Forums and reddit right now. Lots of stupid money being made, but many of them will squander their fortunes (if they do not lose it outright on shitcoins) over the course of their lifetime, and if not then, within one or two generations.

Though, some are humble enough to take their good fortune as a sign to reform their habits and improve themselves. But there's a lot of greed right now. People aren't happy with small profits, only x20's, x100's, or more.

>no potential real world use

ADA, DBC, LINK, ETH, VERGE, OriginTrail,

stop spreading FUD

Some of you dimwits can't even spend 15 minutes learning the basics of blockchain/crypto? It's not that fucking hard you lazy cunts.

Jfc I can't believe you faggots are getting rich without deserving it

>until you have crashed out

How does it make you feel that I barely understand crypto yet have been in since 2011 entirely due to being a racist libertarian?

>tfw up 50 grand on BTC and I have no clue what it is or how it works

Just tell your mom that you'll help her if she's interested and that you trade "stocks" of various upstart technology companies

Say you used a trading bot with multipule settings and changed those settings to the general market conditions.

So how DID you do it?

I do some smart contract development in my free time and have some videos where I try to explain that stuff on a basic level - maybe it helps

what are you, a nerd?
go away with those fancy words nigga we here to make money