That Guy

Post your that guys. I'll start with a recent one.

>hosting game for 4 friends
>via roll20 i know.
>agree that characters should be 9th level
>give them a generous budget, like 100k gold because fuck it lets get creative
>agree that no item should exceed either +3 enhancement or a certain amount of gold
>trust players enough to make their characters and not cheat
>game night
>party fighting some monsters, weak mooks just to bring everyone together into one party in the name of kickin names and taking ass
>party magic user decides to reanimate one of the monsters as a zombie minion just so it can help sponge attacks and tank
>barbarian in party, THAT GUY, flips the fuck out and demands the undead be dispelled
>party tells him to chill out
>"that wasn't a request."
>full attacks zombie minion, nearly destroying it
>dude wtf
>party tries to calm him down by talking to him
>he keeps attacking
>gets hit with hold person
>party is discussing what the fuck to do with dude
>that guy "no talking takes time, you guys have been talking for like three minutes now" and full attacks the magic user after enraging
>drops him to near death, everyone is trying to get him to stop his shit
>decide fuck it, knock this nigger out
>they beat the fuck out of him, he staggers back like he's going to stop fighting
>drinks a healing potion, damn near fully restores all his health, enrages and goes at the party again
>party magic user plane shifts out taking everyone else but that guy with him
>out of curiousity find his character sheet online
>he's a level ahead of everyone else
>lawful good
>but he has a nonlawful class
>AND a chaotic-evil class only
>also he took double wealth to start
>and he also violated the +3 magic item cap
>and he had more than two rings. They were (custom) (slotless) using item creation rules
he has no magic item crafting abilities
God damnit kyle.

>>party magic user plane shifts out taking everyone else but that guy with him
What happened after this? Did That Guy ragequit?

That guy removed from game. Game will resume soon without him. Players agreed that it's ok to Ctrl+Z that night's events.

>Not having a Session 0 for character creation.
>Not even looking over everyone's character sheets in the first place.
You have no one to blame but yourself.

s0 was character creation and stuff like that. ive known that guy 22? years, youre right but for different reasons

Yep.

>Playing with a couple friends and relatives a nice simple pathfinder game full of noobs who love RP.
>To be fair, they never were amoral.
>Really want a 4th player and my GF brother knows a guy from playing 40k...and it's That Guy.
>Each of them started with at least a code of honor and it developed into some rather intense robin-hooding.
>Rolls up a rip-off of Aragorn. Half-elf Ranger. Min-maxes the shit out of it for arcane archer.
>trying to retain his sanity by helping others and building a big happy
>Druid, Rogue, Fighter all pretty average.
>pretty merciless, but has a soft spot for street urchins
>Druid Leopard raping shit and dropping entangle like a boss
>the most normal of them all... he's just a mostly amoral criminal
>Rogue is all sneaky, RP's playing the angles, not stealing everyone's shit. Team player
>Fighter is a little below average 15,14,13,14,10,10. Decides to keep the stats and roll sword and board.
>I just love how completely off the rails this game has gotten
>That guy rages whenever he doesn't do the best in combat, tries to sexually assault the female players IC and OOC, bitches about magic items, treasure, tries to tell me how skills work even though I'm 8 years older with a decade more RPG experience, shows up late, needs rides, complains about his fucking anti-depressant pills making him need food, doesn't chip in for pizza, tried to paint his 40k guys while playing, and now because he's ineffectual no matter how much I prod him he has become reckless so he can play a sorcerer and blast shit.
>I find it funny that almost every block some cataclysmic event happens that irrevocably changes a Plane forever
>I have 3 GREAT players and one THAT FUCKING GUY GRATING MY GEARS.
>...And on the flipside, I'm also fine with his eventual "comic book ressurection"

The That Guy of my current group is the DM, sadly.
>thinks the rules about casting multiple spells in a single round means that all cantrips are a bonus action
>thinks his critical fumble table is just the best and coolest thing
>can only speak in one voice; incapable of theatrics and drama
>mixes up rules not only from a different edition of the game but also from a different game entirely

I guess we all have to start somewhere, but holy shit, this is like torture.

>thinking you can trust someone because he's been your friend for a long time
haha what an idiot I made the same mistake

>>can only speak in one voice; incapable of theatrics and drama
This isn't a bad thing, I'd rather a GM talk in his normal voice than put on cringey fake ones.

>out of curiousity find his character sheet online

You mean to tell us that you never actually checked anyone character sheets before starting the game?

I thought that you were supposed to do that as a DM. Or am I doing it wrong?

>can only speak in one voice
Is that because he's unimaginative or just can't speak in other voices?

I think I may be my parties that guy.
>party tearing ass through the dungeon at maximum velocity
>lol what monsters and traps? they are instantly spotted and murdered
>Oh hey a sphinx I am good at riddles.
>Party freaks out and almost attacks
>barely talk them down
>answer riddles correctly move on, sphinx hates her job
>enter room, Kelpies, we win initiative they are just swimming.
>"Oh sorry don't mind us we were just passi- " *team start all ranged attacks people get charmed and almost drowned*
> Step into room, it's "darkness" TM I can see in it and magic circle the vamp in place.
>Literally everyone wants to kill it, I just walk in, apologize and steal the loot for the party.
>make everything more complex for everyone by asking why every time
>Man and woman in room, spooked by half plate halberd fighter.
>man pulls xbow about to set off a trap at range on us
>Kill them both
>You know we just like, home invaded a couple that were just hiding underground away from people because the wife was a Werewolf.
>No one cares

It keeps going like this, I keep slowing shit down.
Everyone just wants to mow down monsters and I'm playing a warlock that would likely BE the guy running a dungeon in a few levels. At this point I expect to be murdered for my cut of the loot by the end.

it could be fun to instead commandeer his character as a secondary villain in the campaign?

Request: does anyone have that screenshot of the guy trying to get into a game of thrones game and his background had him knowing every major character already?

>that guy who constantly posts about Orc cocks on Veeky Forums

Oh wait, that's me, sorry.

No you should consider my friend.
This just opens up a lot of possible scenarios

Sounds like you're a good player and all the other are nigger barbarians

That sounds like bullshit. Not you, but your other players.

But hey fuck it, some people just play D&D to chop off monster dick and that's okay. I feel like you play for the RP elements too so you may need a different group.

>I think I may be my parties that guy.
Whenever someone starts with this I know he's gonna be humblebragging about what a great player he is.

>teleports behind OP with katana

>thinks his critical fumble table is just the best and coolest thing
ugh, immediate /dropgame there. crit fumble tables are never good or fun and always end up screwing the PCs over way more than any NPC.

Well shit, you got me.
I'm the best at killing the mood, and making shit take longer, and you should suck my dick for it.

Only good homemade table I've ever liked was a DM's drinking table he made.
>playing some downtime RP for our current campaign at the time
>everyone has had an awesome time, come back from a dungeon with a literal chest of riches
>feelin' pretty fucking balla, my human monk literally wearing an old rusty crown with jewels missing out of it
>everyone goes drinking and gets completely shitfaced
>usual drinking begins, con saving throws. The longer we last and more drinks we slam down the more times we roll on the drunken-misadventure table
>everyone blacks out and rolls a few times. I'm a monk with decent con, outroll the Barbarian and Paladin both for saving throws
>five drunk table rolls for me, two or three for everyone else. Everyone takes turns rolling, so the drunken story blends better into each other's nights we make up while joking about it all and trying to figure out what the fuck we got up to while blackout drunk
>second roll, I roll a 100 on the D100 drinking table
>DM "Oh shit, user you are whisked away somewhere. Roll this D10 to see how far you're taken."
>roll a 10, gonna wake up in another plane of existence
>rolls D10 for plane, roll a 2. Crystal Islands plane
>another player, inexplicably also rolls 100 and rolls a 9, also taken to another plane
>roll plane D10, also taken to Crystal Islands
>third player rolls a 1
>DM "FUCK. user 3, your character follows the previous character on their last roll. I guess you're gonna wake up in another plane too."
>last character, player playing my character's brother monk, wakes up in a stupor in a barn with nobody around
>tfw the three of us woke up in another world, fuckass hungover, with no knowledge of where we are or how to get home

Made for a fucking ridiculous adventure, a lot of good DMing and playing made the game not an arseache trying to get home

>Playing Eclipse Phase.
>That Guy decide to play as a Neotenic with high Deception and Persuasion, to the expense of basically anything else (for example, he decided to have a low score in his Native English and abysimal score in Cantonese; and his Unarmed Combat stat was laughable)
>I don't think much of it, however, as it's not like the game isn't meant to be all that much focused on combat anyways, something the GM told us already.
>After our first encounted against Neo-hominid raiders, we dock on a space station.
>That Guy says he wants to roll Persuasion to try to seduce any and all people he comes across.

>that guy who posts anonymously
>that guy who posts with his avatar on chatroulette on 4chimps in a thread about him thinking he's anonymous
>that guy who intentionally wants to get caught to fuel his nightmare fetish fodder cult of outrage in order to channel interparty drama fetishism to fuel the DM's kino sadomasochist fetish in order to get extra experience points to reach the next level between sessions
>the guy who fucking does this shit and gets away with it
Seriously, Jory, safety should be your number one concern because nobody likes roasted nuts.

wut

this one?

what the fuck