How long would the Imperium Of Man last in the SCPverse along with all the horrors therein?

I don't know about survival but the Mechanicum would love SCP-217

I'm thinking back on the list of things that Dr Bright is not allowed to do and it would be both terrifying and hilarious to see such a list for Lord Inquisitor Bright.

I imagine a chainsaw launcher will be standard per squad equipment.

Pretty long me thinks. At least until some idiot decides it's a good idea to wake up the witch girl or going into the universe ending cave. Would be hilarious to see the imperium throw Caine at the enemy though. The sheer amount of booty bothering from everyone trying to injure him only to have that shit reflect back on them would probably spawn a new chaos god centered around the feelings of frustration and impotency.

Most of them look like they could be contained, at worst, with a planetary quarantine...except maybe 343. He'd just hang out somewhere and chat all day with the Emperor or something.

...

Depends on how you quantify an arbitrary horror story aggregate as a "universe". Someone walks into SCP-2935 then back out and everyone dies! Who the fuck knows. Shit's impossible.

>Could a bunch of shit that can be contained or at least dealt with by a secret society in modern day earth be similarly handled by a galactic scale human civilization with the resources of hundreds of thousands of planets and quadrillions of people, many of which have psychic powers

But you don't understand, the unkillable lizard would destroy all of holy terra! Please ignore that it is currently being contained by the Illuminati is a tub of acid in their fucking basement.

It breaks out semi-regularly, but last I heard they got it to stop trying when they threatened to put the tickle monster back in there with it.

Basically this, I was just pondering on the fact that most of the scps are already in a box somewhere.

>Although the idea of Inquisitor Bright is fucking horrific.
Recurring characters in the Foundation outside small roles was a mistake, even if Bright is pretty funny. See - Dr Clef.

The tickle monster is it's half-brother. They are the same power level.

I don't understand any of the arguments in this thread saying the Imperium couldn't handle shit in SCP.
Humans in SCP can handle these interdimensional monstrosities just fine. So why can't another version of humanity who is 40,000 years ahead in terms of tech do the same? What's stopping the Imperium from forming their own SCP foundation that is a magnitude better than anything the OG foundation could dream of?
It just seems so simple to me.

Both universes have their horrors, so the Imperium would be able to wage a pointless losing battle for long enough to generate several editions of infantile tripe to keep maladjusted CHUDs entertained while they fawn over inferior space fantasy schlock and an insultingly middling game.

...

Caine article was a wasted potential.

All it needee was
Generically middle eastern looking
Unidentified mark on forehead, assumed to ancient Sumerian
Impervious to harm and "reflects" harm done to him
Seems capable of living off of a purely carnivorous diet and in fact prefers to
Doesn't age

Came to Foundation attention when some realized he'd been using the same photograph on his driving license for an improbable number of years.

Picked up in Karbala or some such place.

Knows many middle eastern languages, most of them dead.

Due to helpful and cooperative nature has been granted some degree of freedom and is employed by Site 12 in the translation and sorting of ancient Mesopotamian artefacts.

It didn't need all that shit about the cybernetics. But then it didn't need Able being a Mary Sue L33T sword master either.

The Able article should have been about a pile of bones that cause accelerated plant growth in their location only identified as Able because Caine knew where they were buried.

Scarlet King is literally a Dawn of War tier bloodthirster waiting to happen. He’s no problem.

Dr. Bright's a fucking Halo Device, if the Inquisition got their hands on him/it he could look forward to a long existence of being experimented on in ways that even the Foundation would find disturbing.

You have no idea what the Scarlet King is do you?

Sounds like neither do you

He obviously doesn't, since he compared it to a fucking Bloodthirster of all things.

Given that Dr Bright's biggest ambition is to die they might have his full cooperation.

610 I would imagine would be par for the course of a high end fuck you Nurgle event.

Depends-

If the Orks think they can stomp SCPs, then SCPs are getting stomped.

OK, fair enough.

Why did you use a picture of Doctor Dick?

>the imperium of man
>an interstellar civilization of over a million inhabited worlds
>routinely deals deals with large scale invasions of entire planets by powerful and malicious supernatural beings, ancient robots with incomprehensibly advanced technology, genetically tailored super-predators from beyond the galaxy and various other absurd threats.
SCPs would barely register with the imperium at an administrative level. Almost anything could be dealt with by the appropriate inquisition ordos and local military forces. The Imperium is also not bound by a need for secrecy in most circumstances, and where they are they are willing to resort to mass murder to accomplish it. They are also not bound by a need to protect one planet at all costs, worlds are expandable and physically destroying entire planets is acceptable to protect the wider imperium.

Sarkics in general are a major "Fuck All Of You" if they manage to get going. A single Archon could probably annihilate the Imperium just by yawning.

Yay! Another thread where 40kunts get to pretend their setting is the most super-duper powerful of all.

>implying SCPissants aren't every bit as bad

SCP is basically just a bunch of fanfiction writers who suck each other off over how fantastic their shared universe is

The same could be said for 40k, Black Library, and pretty much anything involving Chaos. Your point is fucking moot.

There are several differences, but I'll keep it simple so you don't have to think too hard and I have other things to do today. Author avatars and money.

>Author avatars and money.
For one, most of the author avatars are pretty much "dead" now, given that their original creator's are either no longer a part of the site, or just dont care for them any more. The only ones that are still noticed at all are the big ones like Bright, Kondraki, and Clef, who are basically their own characters now. And two, "Money", really? That is your excuse for the utterly shit writing that 40k features almost all the time, to the point where the fucking fanfiction is better than the canon novels now? Fucking seriously?

It'd be fein, if one planet became too fucked there's always exterminatus protocols.

The Imperium already has its own SCP and its own containment breach.

they'd all instantly be obliterated, the scp archive is full of conflicting accounts and story's, if they all came true at the same time reality would rip itself apart.
682 would still be fine though

>682 would still be fine though
Well of course it would be. There's very little that can definitively kill that damn lizard.

I think they've determined that nothing really can. Even the reality warping SCPs can't do jack meaningful to it.

I suppose they could just drop it on Catachan and no one would ever notice.

Sounds like a neat set up for a custards vs Mechanicus battle.

Or into a star. Or deep space. Or give it to some orks.

The sun idea would work best. If acid is enough then that shit would work. The foundation doesn't have the resources do do it but the imperium could just shove him into a cobra escort and drive it into some star.

Doesn't it consume energy though?
And isn't there a line on the wiki that specifically says that it shouldn't be put into a sun under any circumstances?

They could handle pretty much anything
But I know damn well they'd fuck up the cakes
they'd try destroying them, when that doesn't work, try destroying them even more
by the time they figure out what's going on the cakes have already reached planetary mass

>Or into a star
You probably don't want to do that. You'll end up with a star powered super lizard.

Well, the AdMech are super uncomfortable with how powerful Custodes Dreadnaughts are, and fine their customized Titans heretical...

Well, 173 could kill it if it ever stopped jobbing (in fact, the damn thing slaughtered whole HORDES of 682's kind once it decided to cut loose during a major battle). Of course, the problem with that is that a non-jobbing 173 is likely far worse than 682 itself, and would probably end up killing everybody else once it has finished off the lizard.

The problem is that it adapts to the attack eventually. Even the altering of physical laws.

If dropped on Catachan it would become the apex predator and have enough biomatter to grow to mountainous size. And if it ate a psyker it could maybe get access to the warp.

Dropping it into a star would possibly result in a C'tan.

Acid tank "works" because it's already mundane matter and can't adapt to it without a stressing agent that will allow it to turn into something more exotic. It also escapes.

Throw them at the 'nids. I'm sure that will work.

You're probably thinking of some shitty fan-fic, because 173 can't even kill one 682 (there is only one anyway), let alone a supposed horde.

nah they specifically have to be eaten by humans
throwing them at the nids is a fantastic way to get them to replicate at an ungodly rate until the cakes outnumber the nids 1000 to 1 and end they go "that's to much fucking biomass"
then the universe ends

Does the Imperium ever try to figure out how to contain things it can't stop, or is it literally just a case of trying to brute-force everything?

No, plenty of things can. "A cup of something that can destroy SCP-682" Was basically just a nuke. They don't want to destroy it, they want to study and control it. Imagine an obedient 682 you could use to control other SCP's as obedient ride-able mounts. If that sounds stupid remember that this is literally the entire job of the SCP foundation.

Actually, that specific version of 173 (known as "The Koitern"), comes from the "Those Who Lived On" canon, where it singlehandedly wiped out 1/3 of the Leviathan Army (of which 682 is a part of).

scp-wiki.net/those-who-lived-on-hub

Shitty fan-fic, then.

I think they're probably less worried about the Custodes in M42, since they now make a lot of their tech judging from the Cog Machina on their bikes, and I doubt any of the handful of Custodes dreads have lasted this long.

Admech has two SCP-foundation equivalents. The Ordo Reductor beat the fuck out of any Outside Context Problems encountered by the Imperium that the Marines, Custodes and once Primarchs couldn't deal with, and the Prefecture Magisterium hunt down heretekal relics and their users then seal them in stasis vaults. Some fragments of the Reductor have gone full He Who Fights Monsters in the process and are now almost as bad as the hereteks, but they do tend to win enough that a galaxy-wide organisation dedicated to digging up knowledge is kept mostly safe despite any find PROBABLY being a horrible mistake, usually because they have a literally god-given right to innovate as much as required,
One of their operatives crashed on a planet with his escort while being hunted by thousands of Chaos Space Marines and Darkmech, killed a few hundred over a few months of raiding before jury-rigging a warp bomb out of his drop-pod engine and blowing two superheavy tanks to bits, then stole a spaceship and escaped. This wasn't considered enough of a feat to elevate him to Archmagos, so he got angry and fucked off to do his own thing.

Also, Custodes Shadowkeepers and probably a couple Ordos of the Inquisition. It's a pretty common job description.

That chair that grants wishes said it couldn't do it without taking out the galaxy and 343 said he didn't make it. I also remember them doing a fairly large number of tests trying to kill it with other SCPs with no success.

Maybe a cup of RAGE! would do the trick.

The Custodes, Grey Knights, Inquisition, Mechanicus, and several Marine Chapters (i.e. Blood Ravens, Dark Angels, Space Wolves) all have various "locked away forever" vaults.

Fine the SCP verse doesn't have anything the Imperium doesn't have. Anything the foundation can contain the inquisition can contain as well on some inquisitorial fortress orbiting a dead world guarded by a hundred death watch marines and 5,000 inquisitorial storm troopers.

See The Imperium can be pretty hypocritical. There are plenty of instances where it makes use of or locks away that which should be purged. Either because they find it useful, or can't.

>Fine the SCP verse doesn't have anything the Imperium doesn't have.
Two words; Antimemetics Division.

What actual technology do they have that the Imperium doesn't? The Imperium is perfectly capable of mindwiping people.

Since current earth handles it.... Imperium handles it as well.

I recall the following off the top of my head:
-A Daemon that took the form of a techno-virus powerful enough to subvert an entire fortress
-Ghosts that haunted an entire Chapter with voices until their guilty consciences turned them to Chaos
-Nurgle's Rot, essentially saps at your will, hope, and dreams until you give into despair and begin enjoying the sickness
-An Alpha Psyker that mind controlled an entire star system
-Mind Shackle Scarabs that overwrite your brain and make you a Necron Slave
-A curse that infects everyone with any kind of Blood Angels genetic material, retroactively from when Ka'banda fucked up Sanguinius

These things seems pretty damn mimetic to me. The Grey Knights and the Culexus Temple are pretty much the only real responses.

Ironically, SCP might see Knights of Blood as a perfectly reasonable ritual to perform if they thought it necessary.

>Inquistion throws everything into Tesseract Vaults.

There, Done.

Extra-dimensional 682 lizard.

Cannot get out of a Tesseract vault.

For one, their mnestics which are iterally capable of making you perceive absolutely EVERYTHING for what it truly is at their highest tiers, and their "antimemetic nukes" capable of erasing whole concepts so thoroughly that for all intents and purposes they hadn't even existed. This isn't even getting into things that they had the capacity to build, but didn't have enough time to, such as their "irreality amplifier", or even the basic shit that the main Foundation uses such as their Scranton Reality Anchors, or their reality-warping Mobile Taskforces, such as Tau-5 (Pic related).

This, it doesn't kill stuff, it just locks them away. Even if 682 escapes who the fuck cares? Just abandon the planet.

>not powerwank
>has a tier list

Tesseract vaults are also probably the only 100% definite prison in the 40k universe.

Daemons can't even escape by just trying to return to the warp.

Just going to leave this here:
>SCP-682 cannot be banished permanently to another non-Earth plane, only temporarily. Its longest successful banishment was to the Ravelwoods as the result of an extremely powerful and extensive ritual, and even then the banishment only lasted a few years, and was likely more successful due to the nature of the Ravelwoods itself.

>The Ravelwoods is a higher-dimensional plane that runs parallel to the Wanderer's Library, is only accessible and escapable through temporarily constructed Ways, and the background magic rejecting that of the Library makes exit via Ways extremely difficult. 682, however, cannot enter Ways and is barred from entering the Library at all, meaning that it escaped under its own power from a place that by all intents and purposes should have been impossible for it to escape.

Tesseract Vault doesn't care, you are fucking locked within that shit.

They already threw it into the sun once
It came back on fire

The point of 682 is that you can't really stop it. You try to lock it away, it will find some way to escape, even if it means breaking the established rules (either physics or magic) to do it.

And the point of a Tesseract Vault is it contains things, things that shatter physics and magic in order to not be contained.

Like the C'tan and Daemons.

So it's fucking contained.

Not going to lie. The time they tried to use the Devil's Deal to remove it and possibly Satan just told the SCP bluntly that they didn't have anything worth the price of taking it off their hands.

>So it's fucking contained.

No, it really isn't.

682 doesn't give a flying fuck at all. It WILL find a way to break free of such a thing, even if it means devouring everything else within the Vault to do so.

>In a fight with SCP-2722, 682 regenerated from being sub-atomically annihilated, grew to the size of 2722, adapted to be able to move too fast for 2722's radar to track, threw 2722 across the Andromeda Galaxy, and casually tanked a blast from 2722's Grand Wave Motion Cannon which atomized the Cassiopeia constellation. 2722 then attempted to leave 682 in the Andromeda Galaxy and 682 reappeared in its cell shortly after.

Just like all the other times it was contained by magic and mundane measures

So what does 682 do that trumps the Tesseract Vault?

Because a Tesseract Vault can contain a C'tan.

682 adapts to literally anything. Even a C'tan wouldn't be able to destroy it. And since the only reason C'tan shards don't escape from Tesseract Vaults is because it's being repaired from the outside, do you know what 682 would do? Destroy the Vault faster than it can be repaired.

>C'tan travels back in time to the creation of 682 and prevents that
>Implying 682 could adapt to causality change which is a C'tans big weapon.

>A Tesseract can.

No, you see the model of the Tesseract/C'tan is an OPENED Tesseract that is still containing the C'tan, but leaving enough of an opening to allow the Ascended C'tan shard to be an effective doomsday weapon.

The Protocol for the Tesseract when the C'tan is at dangerous levels is to close and teleport back to the Tomb complex.

In short, even a C'tan cannot escape from INSIDE a Tesseract Vault.

682 cannot.

>This Anime tier garbage
>682 however can die in the death dimension where everything dies.

>C'tan travels back in time to the creation of 682 and prevents that

682 wasn't created.

>682 cannot.

Yes, it can. That's its whole deal.

At least 40 thousand years.
Most SCP seem op because they're set in a world similiar to ours

Unkillable lizard that adapts? Throw it in holy promethium. Or shoot him to the sun. Or throw him at orks. Or nids. Or throw nids at orks and throw 682 in between

Sun is merging people together? Nuke the sun. Give survivors from solar system night vision goggles

Giant squid produces a substance that makes people forget things when it eats people? Well, guess this world is a penal world now. No shortage of amnestics

Fleshy disease that kills people and is self aware? Even the youngest Space Marines saw 7 of those already.

Really, comparing earth-bound setting to one that operates on a cosmic scale makes no sense

Now if we'd throw SCPs into WHFB..

682 has literally had the fundamental constants of the very universe itself changed around it, being exposed to such utterly alien principles and properties that any other being would have completely annihilated. You know how 682 reacted to all of that?

It laughed, and shrugged it all off like it was nothing.

That death dimension killed literally EVERYTHING inside that reality, presumably even things that are only 'living' in the sense that they possess wills and intelligence, such as 173 and 1548. So that point is pretty much moot.

... Except a vat of acid.

And it's contain in a Vat of Acid for now.

Tesseract contains it, Deal with it.

>SCPverse
>"Earth-Bound" in the least.
InsertLaughingMekhane.jpgHere.

A vat of acid "contains" it about as much as no acid does, i.e. if it wants out, it will get out. Which is why it has so many containment breaches.

Which it occasionally escapes from