I'll start:
>Party is 3rd level
>been traveling for a long while
>arrive at militaristic elf town in the early afternoon
>Most of party decides they're going to grab meal in the tavern
>Rogarth, the half-orc fighter, decides he wants to find something interesting to do since he's on the outs with the party sorceror.
>He goes to le questboard outside the tavern
>"18-year-old seeking exotic partner at Date Ln. Apt. 1 Building 3. Posted [today]
Bump
>Be me
>Be huge fan of using customer monsters in campaigns because too many of my players have read the Monster Manual
>Every once in awhile when I'm hurting for ideas I'll just grab a random pokemon and stat it out
>Never describe the pokemon by name even while describing it's physical characteristics in an exaggerated way
>Sometimes even go so far as to lift weaknesses and resistance from the Pokemon games (dragons being weak to ice damage, aquatic enemies being weak to lightning, ect)
>None of my players have caught on yet.
Nice! Have you been able to use any gen 1 or have you had to stick to the later generations?
Trolling? Pokemon is literally like 800+ pre-designed monsters, stated, with plot hooks and families/ageing built right in. It's like its designed to be stolen.
>running an edgy grim fantasy campaign
>hook in the paladin by playing on his backstory
>make him watch as baddies drag away his mentor
>party fights through a grueling sunken temple
>low hp
>spells mostly spent
>pally urges them on
>reveal the baddie
>holding mentor hostage
>baddie talks like Chris Rock
>do an entire Chris Rock routine
>20 minutes of yelling race-related jokes at the party
>finally roll initiative
>he dies to 1 magic missile
I think you meant to type "17", not "18". Also,
>implying age of consent under a feudal government
>Playing Sine Requie.
>I was chosen to host a new campaign, after the old Cartomancer suffered of a serious illness, had a religious change of heart, and didn't want to touch any kind of arcana ever again.
>At the time, I also had no idea that some settings aren't meant to be shaked up or made into something the creator clearly didn't intend to.
>Players want to play a "Holocaust of Terror" campaing, but I want to play with the "Soviet" module in order to make my idea plausible in-setting (or so I thought, I had just skimmed it).
>After some arguing, we settle for setting the game in the Lost Lands of Eastern Europe, so that we could use both with ease.
>Players make up their party, two Tower Arcana men and a Fool Arcana woman, and their backstory is that they're the last Polish people on Earth.
>First session goes well, the party manages to escape from the factory in Rostock they were imprisoned in and, after surviving by miracle to an encounter with the Gestapo and after some serious store looting, they get out of the city.
>Second session has them going in the Wilderness, I didn't have much ideas so I had them fight against a Mortuus Simplex.
>I also made sure that the Fool and Tower Arcana were at the bottom of the deck, as well as set them up against minor utterly inconsequential encounters to ensure they could never draw those two Arcana when making Orientation checks (which I had fudged to make "Superhuman" just to be utterly sure)
>On the third session, after killing some Mortui Larvae, the girl makes an Orientation check.
>I draw from the deck.
>It's a Fool
>I panic a little, before figuring that I might as well begin the encounter I really wanted them to do since the start of the campaign.
>I tell them they find a big, tall dome made of rusting metal, with roadsigns reading "Riga" as they get closer to it.
>The players are mildly shocked, but go along with it, and try to enter the city.
>campaign takes place in a setting in which angels and devils do not exist, and the gods have been growing more distant over the centuries
>(privileged knowledge, not held by any in-universe, is actually that the gods have been trapped in the Outer Planes, their ability to influence the Inner Planes or even grant spells slowly dwindling, due to historical cosmic fuckery)
>as the gods have grown more distant, some come to believe that they have abandoned the world in the wake of the cataclysm of a few centuries ago
>new religion springs up, centering on the worship of new gods, with a major emphasis on performing last rites for the dead
>head god is Azma, bringer of light
>over the course of the campaign, party slowly learns that the gods of the new religion don't exist at all, and that the "last rites" are actually rituals that trap the souls of the dead and send them to the nine prophets, who consume them for divine power
>the nine prophets are accumulating this power in a plan to apotheosize and become the gods that they claim to speak for
>party takes out the first eight, their souls being trapped in the nine-tiered divine realm of Hayel that the prophets had constructed as their palace
>engage the prophet of Azma, bringer of light
>"You fools! You dare challenge me? I am the great god Azma! The Lightbringer, Azma deus!"
The incoherent screams of rage as the players realized that they had gone through an entire campaign that was entirely constructed on a single piece of wordplay were glorious.
>Inside, they discover that the city isn't at all under the control of T.Z.A.R.
>Instead, it's divided between two factions, the Communists and the Nazists, and they are vying for power inside the gigating city of Riga, fighting and spying on each other costantly, with the Nevski Prospective being the line separating the two's territories.
>I had made so that Nazist strongarms in Riga were scrawny men in frog masks, armed with torches and ropes, communicating with a vocabulary that consisted of various inflections of "aryan," "cuck," "Kek," "nigger," "bugman," "troon" and "beta" plus clicks; with every civilian deathly afraid of getting tanned and thus shot for being a "shitskin" or being castrated/"de-uterized" for having friendly contact with the same sex.
>Meanwhile, Communists acted kind of like T.Z.A.R. (grinding down corposes to eat them; forbidding families and forcing everyone to work for 18 hours a day), but their fighters were fat women with absurdly-dyed hair literally rolling like balls to attack, screaming "I'm a genderfluid pansexual minotaur otherkin!" or "You're problematic, you must die!"
>Players at first grin nervously, but after two session in which they essentially killed fighters of both factions by the droves, demolished statues of either swastikas or hammer-and-sickle and tried to reintroduce vaccinations to the Communists, they went up to me and told me I was a shitty carrtomancer and that I deserved to get the same illness that stopped the first one.
I was furious back then, but I guess that I can consider this a retroacive successful trolling attempt.
>Pulls Chris Hansen out of his bait
You know, had I been there to witness it, I woulda laughed my ass off, but OP you’re an asshole
>Azma deus
You son of a gun.
I'm not sure if this is coincidence or if you're just rehashing someone else's post. I'm going to go with the latter because you didn't add any new details to the story and if it had actually taken place it'd have done so.
You numb nuts, they're elves. They're still basically infants at 18 because they live for hundreds of years.
They actually had all the pieces to put it together fairly early, since I noted that most of the prayers and religious rites referred to the gods as "[Name] deus." They just never walked in on a prayer to Azma at the right time, and they never put it together themselves.
It's no coincidence. I was the Cartomancer mentioned back then.
I'm out of the loop. Azma Deus? Could Mozart still be alive? Is that what you were getting at?
Reading it out fast, it sounds like "Asmodeus."
As got, it easy corrupts into Asmodeus, lord of the nine hells.
Nine prophets, who would become nine archdevils in time. Trapped in a nine-tiered divine realm with a name that easily corrupts into Hell.
I put 3 of them in the room that counts down from 10 until you pull the lever, then it starts over. It took them 10 minutes of frantically looking for a way out before they let it tick down to zero and the door opened.
OP here
Glad you enjoyed the read. Fortunately, the stunt was well received.
Very nice.
>slapped her in the tit and called her a fucking faggot and that she will die alone
Got her good.
>Says They're 18
>Doesn't specify they are a race that isn't sexually mature at 18
>Entrap half-orc for sexual crimes that he had no way of knowing he was commiting
This is why Veeky Forums hates elves. I didn't even find the story funny, now I'm just mad.
Lifespan and maturation rate aren't actually that directly correlated. There are things that live about as long as we do that reach adulthood much faster.
Not the guy you're responding to, but in most settings elves DO explicitly mature slower than humans(at least mentally, if not physically).
OP here:
It is your choice to be angry, but the scene was well received at the time and ended amicably.
I'm not really interested in debating the mechanics of a game long past.
The encounter was interesting and everyone had a good time, what more could a GM ask for?
You cheeky fucker.
Even then it's only at half the rate tops, and even that is extreme. They grow slowly but they age much, much slower.
>I failed biology
Tortoises can live as long as humans do and become adults in half the time.
I remember this story. Was that actually the GM posting in that last thread you posted this in?
>give ring of invisibility at 4th level
>they don't use it until final boss at level 15
>the fight could go either way
>I regret giving them this ring but I need to stick to my guns
"T-the ring turns invisible on your finger"
>The rogue stares at me
>he wastes his turn not getting that sneak attack
>TPK shortly after
I hope you had a failure trumpet sound at the ready for that.
That sounds seriously lame. Even for bad jokes, there's a time and a place.
I expected them to use it in the 20 or so games since I gave it to them, they got it from a known charlatan.
I like it
Well, I mean, I can see wanting to stay true to your principles(especially if they knew it came from a less-than-reputable source), but causing a TPK for the sake of a bad joke? It's just not funny or even groan-worthy at that point. It's just lame.
They made some big mistakes going into the fight that really hurt the party, this was just the last straw. Final boss had less than 20 hp when the last death save failed.
That was actually me trying one last time to defend my choices, yes. The original poster was just one of the players, though.
>Players somehow become convinced that one homebrew race is all-female (it's not).
>Constantly joke how they are all sluts and need human males to procreate.
>One of them tries to flirt with every NPC of that race they meet.
>Okay then, retcon powers activate!
>Now the males of that race look just like females to an outsider eye.
>They also have radically different notions of courtship.
>The next NPC that guy is trying to woo is a man who has no idea why that human is buying him drinks, but isn't going to say no to free booze.
There is no defending being a shit GM, and saying you retroactively trolled them makes you looks like a bigger fucking idiot.