Ok Veeky Forums, hear me out. I let my thinker tinker for a bit and it donned on me...

Should be in front of a computer again in about 4 hours.

bumping because this thread is good thread

My job is apparent

this thread has potential, will revisit later

If user actually writes this, here are a few suggestions to make it more interesting of a concept than "god of lust acts against it's nature":
1) Slaanesh should not be sucessful at any moment and generally show a lack of moderate actions, having to discard hundrets of dates.
2) It should not be told from Slaanesh's perspective, mostly because it would be hard to portray it as not-confusing. (Maybe a demon prince playing the role of a hellish "waiter" for the couples)
3) The text shouldn't devolve into erotica, i would set it up as a comedic tragedy.
4) Every sub-plot (date) should end with one component (food, drink, music, decor) being used by Slaanesh in excess.
5) Leave the emperor and other chaos gods out of this, use a very diverse cast of dates instead (guard, cultists, CSM, soul of an eldar, farmer joe, etc.)

OR Even though I love the sound of this
>Point of view of date
>Comic misadventures of Slaanesh trying to woo this citizen

The date would probably go mad in seconds for the first few hundred times, and it is easier to convey his/her/its motivation from the viewpoint of a servant

Yeah but that won't give me warm feelins in my heart

Cleansing fire seems better suited for that

I once got into an argument over this with a friend who happens to be transgender, we settled on "it".

...

to add a 6), Don't use more locations than absolutely nessecary. Confine the story to the throne room and a dining hall if possible

That's the correct answer though. They're Gods made of thoughtform. Slaanesh is neither, one or the other and both. Just as Tzeentch is a giant horror, a pair of eyeballs, an old man or an old boot with teeth on a whim. But one can ignore those ideas and base an opinion off a deviantart drawing if their brain isn't functioning particularly well.

Bless you user.

Bump

>This would've been a great thread 8 years ago when we had Writefags who would autism a story like this into existence and also had an audience that would enjoy the ride instead of whining about it.
Hell we had writefags doing this only a couple of years ago...

>>Comic misadventures of Slaanesh trying to woo this citizen
>Yeah but that won't give me warm feelins in my heart
YES!

...

>But what is one thing she can't do here? Hold hands. Have a relationship.
But why not? Wouldn't Slaanesh's relationship(s) just be the most excessive ones around?

Instead of one relationship it would be thousands if not more, all dates happen at once at the same time. Pleasure in the Slaaneshi has always been self defined per follower, who is to say no Slaaneshi has never tried this?

Also, bump because I want to see a cute as fuck story.

OP here, was looking for this
Rather than this
Thought it still sounds good

I'm thinking something along the lines of Slannesh getting bored one day, making a daemonette intentionally innocent, albeit with the general tendencies towards excess, and sending it out to experience things on its behalf before reporting back some time later.

Where is the chaos in that? "Innocence" isn't in Slaanesh's domain and you don't need a daemonette to write "kinky girl with bad luck romances people". They are useless the moment they aren't lovecraftian monsters.

>I'm thinking something along the lines of Slannesh getting bored one day, making a daemonette intentionally innocent, albeit with the general tendencies towards excess, and sending it out to experience things on its behalf before reporting back some time later.
BUT WHAT IF SHE GOT INTO A RELATIONSHIP WITH AN EQUALLY CLUELESS SORORITA?!?!

New experiences require new beginnings, along with a bit of subtly. Too much and you're going to have the Inquisition show up and ruin the party before it hits its full swing.

Both get purged and then the inquisition orders everyone ever in contact with the heretic executed
(Happy ending)

>Both get purged and then the inquisition orders everyone ever in contact with the heretic executed
>(Happy ending)
NOT IF THE INQUISITION IS IN ON IT!!!

>Slaanesh awkwardly tries to date a guy
Dear lord user

Wtite fag where are you

Just getting home. I'll be getting started shortly.

This entire thing is like pure concentrated MGU, it's basically the first episode or two of MonMusume, where it's just Mia...
>Daily Life with Slaanesh.
Good Gods what are we doing?!We're gonna see the return of Heretical Love Quest for this!

>We're gonna see the return of Heretical Love Quest for this!

What's wrong with Heretical Love?

>What's wrong with Heretical Love?

Bump

I'll bump this. Slaanesh getting blue balled as she keeps her obsessions in check, only able to do so in order to fill a completionst obsession to be the "Perfect Mate."

I would read.

>Slaanesh
>No dick

No thanks

>In the heart of the Palace of Pleasure sat a creature born of excesses, of deviances, pleasure unimaginable, and of absolute perfection. A creature neither truly male nor female, formed from raw emotion, surrounded by screams of pleasure and pain, and this creature was bored. Slaanesh, the Pain Master, the Prince of Pleasure, and a myriad of other, lofty titles has lost interest in one of the Daemonettes before him, presently in the middle of something involving a number of souls and multiple appendages. He needed something fresh, something different than what the Halls of Excess could give her…and then an idea occurred to it. He smiled a wicked smile at the thought of the perversions that were to come, but first there would be preparation required.

>She sent for one of her Keepers, whose name it really couldn’t recall, to find a place an artifact he was going to have made could be pushed through, and to find a suitable recipient for it. Not just anyone would do though, it had to be someone it could mold into the perfect instrument of pleasure and perfection. As the keeper searched, the Lord of Pleasure set about creating a daemonette to possess an artifact towards this goal. Passion and perfection would be this one’s specialty, and She Who Thirsts was looking forward to the results.

I apologize in advance, I'm a bit of a slow writer.

Continue please.

Really dig the shifting personal pronouns too - a wonderful touch writefriend.

I'll be pastebinning this. Carry on.

Thanks, I tried to have a bit of fun with that.

Awesome. Next post should be incoming shortly.

...

>part 2
>In the Imperium of Man there were a thousand, thousand worlds, each with millions, if not billions of souls, all requiring sustenance. Many worlds were largely self-sufficient in that regard while others, like the mighty Forge Worlds of the Mechanicus and the colossal spires of Hive Worlds were entirely reliant on the production of food elsewhere. To this task the Adeptus Administratum utilized Agriworlds, whole planets given over to the production of food to feed the relentless war machine and thirst for industry of His armies. It was upon one of these worlds that the Keeper of Secrets found what the Prince of Chaos sought. Parathion Secundas, a world that fed both its neighboring hive world on Parathion Primarus and the greater Imperium as a whole, was where gaze of the Keeper of Secrets fell.

>This world was, for an agriworld, fairly industrialized, with great farming implements moving between irrigation systems over much of the surface. Fields of grains, pastures of grox and other alien cattle, and great orchards stretched out, broken only by clusters of civilization, roadways, and storage facilities of various descriptions. The people who lived here lived simple lives, tied to the seasons, to the harvest, and to the land. To any hive worlder this would be boring beyond measure, but to the Keeper and its master, this was perfect.

>The Black Ships, those dreaded vessels that carried any with psychic potential away, hadn’t come hunting on this world in quite some time, and it was thanks to this that the daemon found his mark. A young girl, perhaps eight, was working in one of the fields, thinning out weeds with a hoe. She was a latent psycher and she had just enough potential for the daemon to work its wonders on.

OP HERE I WANTED ROMANCE AND LAUGHS NOT PAEDOPHILIA And date should be male and Slaanesh should be leaning more towards feminine side

>8 years old

NO NONN ON ON ON NO

Have patience. A daemonic infestation isn't born in a day.

You wanted Slaanesh, well here you go

>No Yuri handholding
user no

>HANDHOLDING SO LEWD XDDDDDDD
I want /a/ to leave

The board's still the same, there's just.... less in it.

Thank you.

>who don't exclusively do questshit anymore even?
Ahahahaha y'all faggots really shot yourselves in the foot with that one, didn't cha? Good thing there's l this space for troll threads and monstergirl generals now that quests are gone~

my undivided alpha legionnaire has a wife.

they are both insane lunatics but that's normal.

6.) Bad date involves Slaanesh taking citizen to Harlequin performance and pointing out all the inconsistencies.

7.) The Masque gets back at Slaanesh by doing a theatrical rendition of her bad dates, played to comic effect.

Op here, going to sleep
You disappointed me write fag

If it gives you pleasure to hold hands than it is within her realm.
If the weeb shit pains you it is also within her realm.

>part 3
>The greater daemon reached out and scratched ever so slightly at the child’s mind, probing her thoughts. Her brothers, who were on neighboring rows, came to mind, as did the annoying weeds they were clearing out. Mundane things, that the daemon had no real interest in, then it found what it was looking for. The child had had nightmares recently. Insidious things that played on childhood horrors, likely from some Undivided wretch, and in that it found its way in.

>The daemon came to her in her dreams that night, frightening away the lesser creatures with its presence. It appeared to her in her dreams, pretending to be a grandmotherly figure. At first she was hesitant, as if sensing the evil intent of the creature, but relaxed a bit when it didn’t try to frighten her. She reassured her that nothing scary was going to happen so long as she was there, asking why the child seemed so afraid of her. It knew, of course, but it was still a pleasure to hear her speak of it. Children’s fear were oh so sweet, but he had to remind herself to stay focused.

>It presented her with a necklace, with a small black stone, telling her that all it would take for her to ward off her bad dreams would be to wear this bauble. At first the little girl questioned how she could wear it since this was just a dream, and the daemon smiled its best impression of a grandmotherly smile and said “Reach out and take it if you don’t believe me.”

>The child, though dubious, reached out with her hand. “That’s it, my dear, just a little more,” the daemon coaxed. The child reached, hand grasping at the necklace, and then felt her fingers brush something. “Just a little further.” She reached one last time, grasping for the gem, and when her palm finally grabbed it she was yanked awake.

Don't worry, the buildup is going somewhere, I promise.

>part 4
>“Emily, it’s time to wake up,” the child heard her mother call. It was early morning. The grandmotherly figure from her dreams was gone and she had to hurry up and get ready if she wanted breakfast. She started to get dressed and then noticed that the necklace she had seen in her dream was still clasped in her hand.

>She had taken to wearing the necklace to bed since, true to the word of the thing that had visited her in her dreams, it kept the bad dreams away. Sometimes it even gave her pleasant ones. After a while though it started to whisper to her. A word of advice here, a word of encouragement there, but never anything that would cause alarm. It bade her to keep it secret, of course, because no Emperor Fearing citizen would take kindly to that sort of thing, and because no one would believe her either way.

>As she grew older the necklace started whispering other things to her. A bit of extra exercise and food here and there to make her more shapely as she grew up. A slight alteration to the way she walked or stood to turn the boy’s heads when she was in town, and even some suggestions here and there to how she spoke. Little by little it molded her into a beautiful young woman, one ripe for the plans of the Lord of Excess, and the daemon in the girl’s amulet was eagerly eyeing the upcoming harvest festival for the debauchery that was about to unfold.

>what are they teaching kids these days?

Usually something along the lines of "The Emperor Protects!"

I eagerly await this story

>Now this would raise the intresting question of how many times slannesh would have to try before not accidently corrupting an entire planet. Imagine all the cute fuck ups, simply wonderous.
I wanna watch this anime so damn bad.

this. please.

I miss red Veeky Forums...

I've been thinking about this for a while now and I'm glad I'm not the only one.

pls

Dzamie is a lewd writer around here semifrequently. Mostly only does voreshit though IIRC, which is unvoretunate

After the writefag finishes posting, hey-o!

Personally, I like to alternate between he and she for characters like that.

This is good stuff user, keep it up. I am eager awaiting the next part.

>haha guise, you thought I was gonna make a joke about tentacle rape and futa, but it's actually about holding hands, let's all circlejerk about it
>aren't we weebs funny and original
Doesn't sound that great

There is a vore fetishist writefag around? I got to meet them, vore is not my thing but we could share ideas for horror stories.

OP here
Writefag has undisappointed me maybe. I await the next part

“Honey, I’m home!”
The door made a dull thudding noise as the metal slid into place and locked as Dagain knocked the snow off his boots.
“I’m in the kitchen!” came the return cry, and he smiled and pulled off his coat.
It was damnably cold outside, but as always, stepping into the warmth of home, smelling his wife’s cooking - it made everything worthwhile.

The coat went up on its hook, and beside it went the belt and holster. The laspistol was mostly a formality - no one had actually been hurt by local wildlife in a long while, but you could never be too careful. Another refinery a few hundred kilometres down the line had seen some issues with bandits around 3 years previously, so who could really say for sure if it was ‘safe’ out on the pipes. However, here, in the heart of the compound’s living areas, he could truly feel at ease.
“It smells delicious, darling.”
“It’s a new recipe!”
He paused a moment before stepping into the kitchen - a new recipe? With the kind of friends his wife maintained, that could mean anything.
He affixed his smile securely in place, and then stepped through the doorway into the heart of the smell.
Glancing around the room, he relaxed somewhat - he saw only vegetables brought in from the agridomes, as well as what looked like vogra eggs. The small birds nested all over the refinery in enormous numbers and a lot of the local kids made their pocket money by climbing around to steal a few.
He couldn’t see any outlandish spices. No demonically red meat from Emperor-only-knew what. Not even any of that weird green rice the new Commander’s wife had brought to the local cuisine.

He muttered a quiet prayer of thanks under his breath and stepped forward to hold his wife close.

“Hey you,” she almost purred, reaching up to stoke his hand with her own, “How was work?”
“Same as ever. Pipes got iced up between here and Pump Tertius, but that’s easy enough to fix. Spent most of the afternoon just checking on the materials for the new line.”
“Sounds fascinating.”
“You bet,” he gestured at the pot, “So what’s new?”
“Oh! A different way of doing the eggs I hadn’t tried before. It’s nothing special, but Tona from next door swore by it.”
“Well I look forward to it. You want to go with the usual?”
“Sounds lovely. You wouldn’t believe the day I’ve had. Keeping the boys in check is exhausting.”
Dagain gulped, hoping that it wouldn’t be a particularly detailed account of her day - the things her brothers got up to were positively foul.
“Well I’ll go see if there’s anything good on tonight and get the blankets down.”

There wasn’t much - entertainment programming wasn’t quite as sparse as it might be on many of the Imperium’s worlds, but this far from the cities the signal was poor.
There was a romantic comedy though; a story of a PDF officer who fell for a canoness, and all the hoops he had to jump though to make her happy. Feel good stuff, the sort of thing they always watched together.

He rearranged the lumpy cushions on the sofa and unfurled the large thermal blanket, ready to curl up under it.

He was just fetching cutlery from the side table when she came in carrying dinner.
“I think I burnt one a little bit, but I’ll have that one,” she said, placing the tray on the small table between couch and the wall-mounted vidslate.
Dagain looked at his wife, his eyes drifting down her curves, following the curl of her shoulder length hair.
“You know you don’t have to wear that in front of me.”
Her shy smile - the one he loved so much - flashed briefly and she turned away to change.
Her hair took on a purple-black hue and grew longer, even as various horns sprouted from beneath it.
Her skin slipped closer to red, and her curves just became all the more curved.
“Perfect,” he said, with his own returning smile.
She blushed, as much as someone with fed skin can, and bundled herself up in the blankets.
Her hand shot out of the rucked up sheets and beckoned. He stepped up, took her hand, and clambered into the blankets with her.
“I love you, Slaanesh.”
“I love you too honey. Now eat up, before it gets cold!”

That's just Slaanesh as a boring housewife.

I dont, I prefer darker tones, its more pleasant to the eyes.

Bump

Bump lol

Sorry, nodded off last night. I'll add some more later.

That I am. Horror's not my usual genre, but I can see the crossover appeal.
Hell, my favorite pred is a tiny dragon who can just make people, cars, unsecured statues, etc just... vanish with no trace save for a happy, palm-sized flying lizard with a ridiculously long tongue. I can definitely see that getting spooky with sudden disappearances.

Tomorrow theme master race.

Hey user don’t you love Letting your thinker tinker about gods of khaos FUCKING PEOPLE

(S)he did that with that one "silver knight" marine who got to her throne room by resisting all temptation and killing daemonettes. Turned into a pure, cute little blond boy that the marine couldn't resist and gained a Chaos Grey Knight daddy.

>tfw no succubus gf to hold hands with

Wow what a faggot lol

Marines confirmed for shota lovers

/ss/?

Bump

Bumper

No.

I'll give it a try?

In the mind-bending, hellish warp, two beings were sitting in an Italian restaurant.
One was a human from the small Imperial world of Craxis VI. Tom, a low-level administratum officer, was somewhat confused as to how he arrived here. He was certain that he had just gone to bed, yet he was even more certain that he was on a date with the most delightful being in existence. This thought struck him as odd, as he didn't seem to recall whether it was a man or a woman. This apparently was not a problem for him, despite in all other instances it would be.
Across from a red and white checker-board tablecloth was the immeasurably pleasant Slaanesh. Tom could have sworn that was the name of a horrifying warp-God that corrupted the souls of the righteous, but he was probably wrong. After all, he was on a date with her. Him?
She/him smiled excruciatingly sweetly. Her/his mouth was so utterly superb that his eyes began to water.
"You really ought to taste the lasagne, Tom." She/he purred. His/her silken tones were like the whispers of a billion lovers speaking as one. "You will find that it tastes precisely as you have dreamed."
Tom looked down at his plate, and stared at the pasta and meat thing. It certainly looked delicious. So delicious that he would kill a man just at a chance to taste it. He needed to eat it correctly, though. He didn't want to make a scene at this normal restaurant!
"Slaanesh, darling, I would willingly kill my entire family to eat this. However, I'm not sure what it is, or how to eat it."
Slaanesh tilted her/his head--an action that sent a throbbing pain through Tom's head.
"I peeled back the layers of time, far into your ancestor's past. To all of your species, this food and restaurant are the most 'average' in the history of your civilisation." Her smile widened, and Tom almost felt his heart stop.
"Did you not desire a date in a normal restaurant? I have formed the most normal restaurant in space-time."

Dunno man. The marine was seduced by how pure and righteous the boy was.

Slaanesh keeps him enthralled by being a perfectly pure and well behaved sonfu to the marine. When it wants to unwind from all the sex, rape, drugs, and rock and roll, it turns into a shota and lets the marine tuck it in to bed while reading the canticles of hatred and telling it about how it purged some cultists on Shitholius IV.

Tom couldn't agree or disagree with her/him currently, as he suddenly felt compelled to examine Slaanesh's outfit.
She was wearing a summer dress. Tom loved summer dresses. This one seemed to flow and wave continuously, despite him not feeling any wind. Slaanesh blushed and giggled, which caused Tom cease breathing in sheer awe.
"You noticed my dress? You're so sweet, Tom! I know how much you adore summer dresses. I merely willed into existence a world of unicorns, from which I plucked the most sublime hairs from their virgin foals. I weaved them into this dress, so that it would dance in the breeze just as you always imagined. A trifle, really."
Tom's whole body convulsed. The dress was simply too perfect. It was impossibly perfect. His mind was rejecting what it saw. Brain-fluid slowly began to leak from his ears.
"Tom, would you perhaps wish for romantic hand-holding? You will find that my touch is not unlike your first love Maewolda, whom you unconsciously compare all physical interactions with. Except mine will be superior to that memory in every w-"
Tom slumped into his plate. His brain had boiled itself in its own fluids in order to end the date. Slaanesh eyed Tom with annoyance, and cast his ungrateful, unromantic body into the immaterium. She/he needed to prepare herself for the next date.

bump for interest
i wanna take Slaanesh out to olive garden!