You Are Magically Transported To Ancient Greece, What Do?

I make a bunch of gunpowder with my own piss.

Get murdered and/or enslaved because I don't know the culture or the language.

Like seriously, if you magically appeared in front of Ancient Greece's version of people who post on this board, well it would be the same someone from 2500 in the future magically appearing in front of us isn't it?

>You think that that's what would happen no matter the curcumstances?

Why do you think it won't happen? You don't speak the language, you have no money, you don't know the customs. You'll be lucky if you're sold into slavery instead of killed out of hand.

Probably end up as someone's unwilling boytoy.

>Like seriously, if you magically appeared in front of Ancient Greece's version of people who post on this board, well it would be the same someone from 2500 in the future magically appearing in front of us isn't it?

It isn't the same, you profoundly stupid fuck.

We have a scientific mindset while the Classical Greeks do not. Someone appearing in front of us claiming to be from the future would get a hearing because time travel is a concept we are long familiar with. Someone appearing in front of 5th Century Greeks and claiming to be from the future wouldn't be understood even if they spoke Greek because the concept is incomprehensible to them.

Honestly, probably start writing down as much as I possibly can just to kickstart a shitload of science.

I actually took some science history courses so while I don't know much that'd actually be helpful back then I could kickstart most of modern physics no problem.

If nothing else I hopefully can piggy back off the fact that Greece considered philosophy a pretty good profession and keep getting fed based on being that crazy guy who scribbles down shitloads of interesting shit in a language no one understands.

Dunno. Its just that I'm in the middle of making my own hauberk. I figure that so long as I could get my hands on some iron, I could make armour that was better than what Greeks had at the time. That would give me an edge if I were to help fight the Persians wouldn't it?

Accidentally kill myself while trying to invent advanced technology

You can learn how to speak Ancient Greek can't you?

I'm disappointed that no one here would at least try to earn his place as a citizen of a great city state. Maybe woo some high class Ancient Greek waifu while fighting the Persians?

Almost certainly get enslaved, yeah, but in a few months when I start to pick up the language I should be able to get away from the ignorant barbarian drudge work they'll have me doing when I can't understand what they're saying.
If I can impress my owner enough he may set me free, or at least invest in my crazy schemes.

At that point, try to use pic related as a rough blueprint -- I'd attempt to invent paper, the printing press and the telegraph, and become famous forever after.

WARN CAESER!

scare the fucking shit out of them since the average heights for ancient greece floated between 4' 9" and 5'3" depending on gender, and I stand at 6'11"

Like what if some Greek QT is drunk at a party and out loud in front of her friends she asks the gods to bring her a husband, and then suddenly you appear in a flash of light?

...

Run to a country where I am less likely to get buttfucked. I am not a particularly manly man...

Which is why claiming to be a time traveler is strongly associated with... coartists and transients? Well shit. That's not very consistent with what you said.
Being less snarky though, having relevant proof might work in the end for someone from the future coming to our present time, but it'd be bumpy for sure. People from ancient times didn't have vast swathes of information available to verify the accuracy of a claim though. That could make them easier to fool or less likely to trust something remarkable.

Become a hero! Travel around the country fighting people and raping biatches for fun and profit!

Now that's more like it.

get fucked since i don't know Greek

>get fucked

Pretty likely, if you're young and handsome.

>since i don't know Greek

Shouldn't be a problem. Most people immersed in a foreign language 24/7 will start to pick up the basics of speaking it in a few months.

>I'm disappointed that no one here would at least try to earn his place as a citizen of a great city state

Good luck, by which I mean it wouldn't fucking happen. Greek city-states existing around 400 BC were fiercely xenophobic and barely tolerated metoikos living amongst them, let alone extending the privilege. Becoming an Athenian citizen when you and your father hadn't been born in Athens itself would have been downright impossible - even at the height of his renown, Aristotle was constantly at risk of being run out of the city or beaten to death by a mob simply because he was an outsider. No amount of prestige or service could change this.

And good luck to anyone landing in Lacedaemon. The rite of passage to become a spartiate involved finding the goofiest looking helot in the countryside and murdering it. I don't think the denizens of this board would fare well in that atmosphere.

As the Romans do: Invade, conquer, assimilate.

Use my knowledge of rigging and carpentry to usher build the finest sailboats in the land.

>"unwilling"

Sure, you keep telling yourself that.

It is not.

Get fucked in my boipussy by a buff and hairy Greek noble

So you're saying it is not not-Veeky Forums. That's close enough to being Veeky Forums for our purposes. Carry on, everyone!

Try to make a living in the gladiator pits until I can learn enough Greek to teach them how to make gun powder and the basics of modern medicine. Then I start spreading Christianity a few centuries early

>gladiator pits

That's Rome; Greece didn't have those. Though fighting for entertainment existed, it was much less institutionalized.

Accidentally kill a majority of Europe with my super crazy flu. Then die alone as there is no modern medicine to keep sepsis from tearing my body apart.
Become worshiped in dark corners as a harbinger of death and disease.

Cry and pray i find a way home

Grab the nearest shield and use it to an hero.

Given that I'm doing an Archaeology degree:

Depends what period, but:

>Freak the fuck out
>Record EVERYTHING on fired clay tablets and leave them somewhere I know they'll be found. The Uluburen Shipwreck probably the best bet
>Try and learn Ancient Greek, I know a bit already

Then it depends on time period and who's around. 5th Century Athens I'll just stay there and peace the fuck out when I know the Spartans are coming to fuck up Hegemony.

>Use my knowledge of rigging and carpentry to usher build the finest sailboats in the land.

Both of which use tools you won't have and won't know how to make. Enjoy slavery, fuckwit.

Padway spoke both Latin and Greek, had specific knowledge of the period because it was his academic field, and was able to quickly pawn a few items in his pocket. He was able to teach mathematics with positional notation and then branch off into distilling. Despite his education, he wasn't able to recreate something as simple as gunpowder. Despite owning a wristwatch, he wasn't able to make clocks. Helping him "fit" in was the fact that the people of Visigoth Italy were used to strangers and their culture wasn't as socially ossified as Classical Greece.

No Veeky Forums sperg is going to be as able or as knowledgeable as Padway and Classical Greece isn't going to be as welcoming as Visigoth Italy. Your "plans" won't work.

Introduce them to modern musical notation, notate all their songs in stone tablets, die knowing I helped preserve their glorious music for future generations.

Bu they already invented musical notation and recorded it in stone

youtube.com/watch?v=is-dv8eiqL0

Their notation is quite primitive though, there isn't much in the way of rhythmic indication (Scholars generally use the text as an indication of the rhythm and guess when attempting to transcribe these old songs)
And there are only a very small amount of songs that have survived, something like 5 or 10.

Ancient Greek songs were supposed to be incredibly emotional and being able to notate them accurately and preserve them in stone rather than the manuscript they were probably stored in at the time (or simply passed between performers) would allow us a much better insight into ancient greek music.

With the song of Seikilos, we only have some indication of melody above some text, the rhythm is somewhat open to interpretation, while the harmony isn't recorded at all (although many number of harmonies could be made to work with the given melody).

Plus introducing modern notation would allow composers to write more complex works, take advantage of more intricate harmonies and rhythms, and share works over long distances

>tfw archeologist and with a graduation in ancient history
>tfw mediterranean race
>tfw speak classical greek and latin
>tfw know every shitty dumb political event we can know about greece

Well fuck, time to stop the spartans from winning the fucking peloponnesian war

Also i forgot, stop Thucydides assassination. And im pretty sure Xenophon wanted him to be killed, that little shit.

Assuming I could learn to speak ancient Greek, I'd become Pyrrhus' advisor somehow and convince him not to be a fucking retard.

"I'm from the future!"

"OH FUCK WE CAN'T THINK THAT WAY!"

"Well I'm from two thousand years down the line and a god sent me back."

"Yes that makes sense."

Tell them of the wonders of my time. Show them the glory of cheese in a can. They will know that my people live as Gods.

>not wanting Spartan hegemony to continue forever
Might you on occasion partake of that consumable known as soy, user?

Teleport again to the X century ad and scream at Basil ll ear to make a fucking son!

Depends on where I land.

If I had a choice it would be on the island of Kos; Travel to the Aesclepion and try to get accepted.

Interesting. What era/country in history would be most likely to be accepting complete foreigner like us neckbeards? Let's limit the time period to before the Fall of Constantinople.

Rome might be a little friendly. A lot of us would probably be able to pick up comfy slave jobs as tutors for noble children.

>Know math
>get rich
>Killed by pythagoras for irrational number crimes

In a weird way, the mongol empire was both extremely tolerant and meritocratic.
Genghis Khan's most favoured generals were variously ex-slaves, converted enemies, commoners, foreigners and the like.
His court had missionaries from every religion known to the mongols.

The trick is not getting butchered or enslaved right from the outset.

Die early due to having zero understand of the language and Greeks being fairly xenophobic
If we assume that I somehow survive first contact maybe I could survive living outside civilization and slowly learn the language. I'd probably go find a cave and scribble shit in English on the walls to upset some archaeologists couple thousand years down the line.
If I'm granted language skills from the get go I suppose I could make it as a minor inventor, trying to recreate technology I can remember.

Forgot; probably end up wiping out a civilization or two due to disease. At least I know how to identify and manufacture penicillin.

How about instead of saying you're from the future, claim some shit about being sent by Athena or shit
Maybe some other god they don't know about
The ancient Greeks weren't that intolerant about religion right?

Technically yes, if they could learn it, so can you
Will take you some time though
Thank fuck I at least know the Greek alphabet

Fuck I forgot that, if you arrive with a minor cold or something you might kill those poor fuckers by the thousands

Like two anons already said
The Roman Empire would be rather forgiving for any foreigner living inside the empire
Considering they valued the Greeks for their advances in art and science, if you could prove somehow that you'd be an asset you could end high, even as a slave

The Mongolian Empire was really tolerant and meritocratic, so that would fine as well

Apart from those, I doubt that there even were that many tolerant societies, until the Age of Enlightenment, and even that was only tolerant compared to earlier times

Move to Ancient Rome, instead.

Get the fuck out before the Sea People show up.

Modern diseases sitting harmlessly inside of my body spread like wildfire, creating an earlier and possibly more deadly bubonic plague.

teach them the scientific meathod. Like the bare bones "come up with an idea then test it then adjust your idea based on the results" essentials. Pass it off as a school of philosophy.

Regret not knowing greek.

haven't read the bokk, but shouldn't it be ostrogoth italy?

every empire big enough should probably be relatively tolerant, due to the various different people from the lands conquered

Find the Oracle and ask her which of the gods fucked my mum

>What is the Empire of China?

How the hell are you supposed to an hero with a shield?