Basic skills

>his wondering """adventurers""" don't know how to cook
How do they survive in the wild?

Rations.

Eating poorly cooked food.
When people say they don't know how to cook they can still make disgusting food.

>Eating
Lmao just turn on nemesis on.

If you find clean crystaline water in the wilderness DON'T TRUST IT. There's something seriously wrong with it if it isn't infested with life.

Always remember to boil AND filter the water.

By spending 5sp per day for rations. Often simply rolled into their Lifestyle expenses if they're at a Modest lifestyle of adventuring rather than owning property.

if kid goku can cook dinosaur meat, John Fightman can too

In some deserts, any water that is beautifully clear and fresh looking (i.e., nothing lives there) may be caused by natural arsenic deposits that turn up in some rocky areas. Drinking water that looks green and mossy and full of gunk may result in being on the business end of an attack of dysentery, but drinking perfectly clear death water might just end your hike for good. In the mountain West of the US or other areas where there is mining activity, cyanide and cyanide-based chemicals can have the same effect, as can pesticide runoff in heavily farmed/agricultural areas. In other deserts, water that is perfectly clear with nothing in it and isn't running may well be irradiated. Different means, same ends. Or perhaps different ends...

People in the old days didn't know that the diseases associated with drinking or bathing in plain water (cholera, dysentery, typhoid, polio, etc.) were caused by waterborne pathogens, but they did know that both activities were risky, and boiling that much water was simply too damn expensive for many. (And the reason many people of historical times preferred alcohol or tea to pure water was that alcohol and/or the process of making beer or wine or boiling for tea were some of the earliest forms of water purification. Similarly, moss was one of the earliest water filters - so mossy water was often safer than clear.

Here is how I solve that in a number of games I play

D&D
>I have a cantrip for that?
WFRPG/Zweihander
>Half the fun is dying slowly to diseases, so it's a feature not a bug
Exalted
>There is probably a Charm for it, but i usually let my cult or servants do it for me
Traveller
>Protein in all the colors of the rainbow, no cooking required

DM doesn't track boring shit like that.

long hair.


Gohan.

which means: Super Genius, not an argument.

in some games it is just a non issue. My DMs current campaign is a military one so we all have rations.

gohan

My character is a proficient dumpster diver who steals food from any location we "investigate". I have an entire fridge worth of bologna right now.

Of course they know how to cook. Why the fuck wouldn't they?

>wondering adventurers

Their quest is one for knowledge.

By no means useful knowledge.

Deep

Because you don't have enough skill points for cooking AND the stuff that your GM will actually ask you to check, assuming this is 3.PF.

If it's not 3.PF, probably an oversight on the part of the players.

You fucking nigger.

>"MY dungeon master only tracks the EXCITING stuff....like when I dropped an icicle on a goblins head to kill it and made a natural 20 and make a Rick and Morty quote and everyone at the table was laughing soooo hard."

Why wouldn't they?

Not him, but I unironically like rolling nat20s since the 90ies when I first started playing. I also like dramatic failures in CoD. But sure, le reddit etc. etc.

They use a "Cantrip of Communication" to order meals from the nearest restaurant that delivers...

But they do know how to cook, because the game's writer took some time and thought of this in advance.

That's gohan, retard.

I basically use the pic as a system. Asking questions about who is doing what. Toss some dice, give some descriptions. Seems odd, but the players really get in to it.

>wondering """adventurers"""
First, it is "wandering", not "wondering".
Second, only one set of quotation marks around a single word or phrase is all that is ever necessary.

I understand if my pointing out your errors embarrasses you and keeps you from posting again soon.
Please just use more care if you do decide to post again.

I, too, like pointing out useless things.

If a single user sees my post and, for a moment, reconsiders posting foolishly in a misguided attempt at some delusion of perceived cleverness, then it will not have been pointless.

They might still know how to cook, it's just not modeled mechanically.
If it's D&D and you really have to represent it, use the Survival skill. Done.

I wondered that myself

I know. And how many of them even have "eat" or "walk" skills?

Don't you mean you WANDERED it?

In some systems skills are reserved for above average performance and everybody is assumed to have everyday skills in par with the rest of the world occupants. Thus your character might know how to ride a horse even with no riding skill, or indeed cook normal everyday style.

Incidentally anybody know how many people get food poisoning every year?

are you """"""""okay?"""""""""

While it really only comes up when we're having long stints in the wilderness, yeah my character can hunt and cook on account of his survival skills, he grew up in a backwoods village that mostly sold precious furs as their income, so it's basically second nature to him.

>Start a new game with friends
>Mfw I am the only one who has a tent, cooking utensils, blanket, and soap
>mfw when I am suppose to be the shut in academic that has next to no experience being out in the wild

Come on guys it’s common sense to bring protection from rain and to keep yourself warm

My character can kill animals, skin them and put them next to/on fire. Does that count?

>ninety-ies

Skills are not meant for mundane activity. They are meant for crucial moments in gameplay. Regular, everyday cooking should not be a skill within a game but a given.

>regular, everyday cooking
Big difference between cooking in a kitchen that's shielded from the elements and has sufficient equipment and trying to produce something edible over an open, exposed fire using minimal gear...

>make players roll for cooking every day they want to eat something other than hardtack and smoked crap
>oh no you undercooked your pork ration and caught pig parasites! take a penalty for like a week lololol
>players immediately revert back to hardtack for the next RL year worth of playing

My adventuring conquering king of darkened skin tone

Soldiers in the revolutionary war were godawful cooks and they survived.

But, did their souls survived?

Bum from town to town, tavern to tavern, munching iron rations between.

There were reasons medieval villages were spaced a days's walk apart.

I don't get why r/pol and /v/ like to shit on rick and morty so much. It's a pretty decent 7/10 show

>soap
>in the wild
Yeah, it is clear you don't have experience out in the wild

> pig parasites!
> take a penalty for like a week

dude, trichnosis will kill you fucking dead. if it was a penalty for a week you'd be laughing.

They cast goodberry, its a first level spell

YOU FUCKING IDIOT THAT IS SON GOHAN THE FIRST BORN OF SON GOKU DURING HIS TRAINING WITH PICCOLO-SAMA AT THE START OF THE NAMEK ARC!!!

You don't really need skill points for basic cooking.

I heard you can survive trich.

My understanding is that infested meat is meat with trich worms that hatched in the animal's gut, burrowed out of the intestinal tract, and encysted themselves in muscle tissue, where they will be eaten by predators or carrion eaters, finding another digestive system to begin their life cycle in.

The story I got this from was a guy who ate some black bear he didn't know was infested, and later had horrifying abdominal pain that the doctors told him were the trich larvae burrowing out of his tract and encysting themselves in his tissue. And that if someone were to eat HIM, they would likely become infested.

Correct me if I'm wrong, it just sounded like a hell of a story.

Ah, you're autistic. I get it now.

Here's a hint, if your DM makes you keep track of the exact number of ball bearings you can pick up again and makes you describe sharpening your sword after every fight or else he has to take damage off every hit, he might also be autistic.

>wondering """adventurers"""
What did he mean by this?

Wrong letter and hyperbole. Not that hard to understand.

...

Shitty picture followed by single line of green text threads should be banned from Veeky Forums.

Look normally I'd answer earnestly but now I'm just sitting here wondering.

Veeky Forums pretty much exists to be contrarian. Doubly so on a board dedicated to a particular topic- /v/ and video games, /tv/ and television/movies, /mu/, Veeky Forums, etc.

Because it deals with themes and ideas they've already got memes and comebacks for. No originality required, just retool the 'muh nihilism' memes.

Also, it's a short form comedy cartoon, so it's easy to find holes or simplifications in the ideas they build an episode around. Especially if you're holding it to the same standard as longer form media in non-comedy genres.

Also, most of the fans are fucking atrocious, constantly backpatting themselves for 'getting' how 'deep' the show is, and quoting it like a middle-schooler who just discovered Monty Python.

Also, Dan Harmon is frequently douchy. Not moreso than, say, McFarlane. But, he's definitely drunk some of his own koolaid, and that's not good for ANY artist.

Just my two cents.

Also, this.

Fools think taking a contrary position to convention is a substitute for developing their own interests and accepting that taste is subjective. I blame Maddox (once super-popular insult-comic/blogger) and the numberless imitators who felt that being apoplectic over trivial shit was the acme of comedy. Add a 30 second attention span, season with anonymity, and you've got your bog-standard Veeky Forums critic.

Anyone play HeroQuest?
Have a wondering monster

MREs mate. Nobody has time to march all day and then cook stuff, you have to march as much of the day as possible, set up a quick campfire, eat, and sleep. Sure you could adventure leisurely, but that lich ain't going to slay himself. Besides, there's plenty of nice places to eat in town when we get some coin.