Basic skills:

>His PCs never go to the bathroom
enjoy dying of intestinal blockage

Aren't such needs implied to be met by the DM?
Oh no! I have to remember to evactuate my character during my next play session! I hope there's a hole somewhere in the tomb of horrors that wont suck poor Barrien's innards out through his rear...

...

If memory serves, I recall somebody mentioning awarding small amount of additional role-playing XP for that. Coincidentally those little few points were enough to push one character to the next level.

>Aren't such needs implied to be met by the DM?
I'd prefer DM that doesn't have that kinda needs.
>Dare you enter my magical realm.jpg

>xp by individual character
I hope he killed himself

I've seen that go down its no joke
Working in long term care we once found an old lady who had died during the night, shit coming up her esophagus she was that backed up

>I hope there's a hole somewhere in the tomb of horrors
Hold it until you get to the demilich. Than piss on the fuckstick.

Are we going to calculate how to roll for spontaneous cancer generation again?

>I inhale. Next turn I'll be exhaling.

>and I ready an action to blink

You get cancer as a joke if you roll A ONE ON A TWENTY SIDED DIE. HA HA YES!

>he doesn't specify to breath through the nose
Enjoy looking like a retarded mouthbreather

>Coincidentally those little few points were enough to push one character to the next level.

What a shitty way to level up

>"Which hand do you use to wipe?"

>user, you didn't say that you pulled down your trousers. Do you really want to shit your pants?

There's probably a niche market out there for an "everyone is john" style rpg where multiple people control one character, where the difficulty of the game is developed as a result of the GM actually doing this sort of thing, getting caught up in the minutiae of managing a character.
It would be akin to the Rage Simulators in vidya, or their Veeky Forums predecessors in Perfection or Operation.

Ok, that's going to draw an attack of opportunity if you don't have improved blink.

My page has tongs and olive oil for that. Am I expected to use my bowel muscles like a peasant or something?

Rolled 11 (1d20)

Rolling for cancer.

...

>not searching the realm for a slave with the longest tongue to remove feces from your ass

Get a load of this pleb.

>Not roleplaying in great detail each and every visit of your character to the bathroom, how he pulls off his pants and underwear and sets them aside, crouches down above the chamberpot and flexes his leg muscles so he doesn't risk losing balance or falling, how his stomach grumbles due to the food he ate at lunch and the great deal of control he exerts in his abdominal muscles to be able to push off the shit, the relief that comes from emptying one's bowels, and taking no less than ten minutes to describe how he wipes himself and the foul smell that permeates the room afterwards

>your character dies because you never said you were breathing lol

That was amazing, who made it?

Tarol "SAD GOBLINS" Hunt

Why do you think he's out questing?