Someone's playing a bard

Ripping off characters from whatever video game/anime/cartoon they've just watched and not even trying to hide it, using anime pictures as character art, and making special snowflake characters.

Absolutely butt-blasted

Like this?

youtube.com/watch?v=q0QF2VMWxUE

I agree to two first ones, snowflakes can be redeemed.

I make my bards learn an instrument irl. If they can’t play ye olde tale of the green knight on a mandolin then they have to play a warrior instead

>hey I play [insert modern and/or meme song] hahahaha
>make you want to kill yourself

If your threshold for wanting to kys is THAT low, maybe consider therapy.

At least three experts agree that it is normal and healthy to constantly want to kill yourself.

fun fact, therapists are the career with the second highest suicide rate, just after dentists and higher than GPs.

>Therapists kill themselves so much because nobody listens to their problems

>I'm a therapist
>listen to everyone bitch about problems all day
>on my only day off, go see my therapist and bitch about my problems
>and that therapist bitches to another
>and that one to another
>in an endless conga line of therapists

That same could be said of all medical professionals.

>>hey I play [insert modern and/or meme song] hahahaha

Not seeing the problem here.

A line of therapists to encircle the world.

You know it actually works like that? They have overseers who listen to them about their work related stuff.

Yesterday is the meme song to cover, but perhaps not in the way that OP meant.

Yeah. I even said
>I'm a therapist
Because I'm literally a therapist.

best bard players are the ones who are creative enough to come up with simple songs during downtime

they don't need to be super serious, but as long as it's original and somewhat believable it's great

Not him, but to be fair, if you did it properly and worded it as
>Be a therapist
It would be impossible to tell if your anecdote was ficticious, so one would assume you're just having a giggle. It just comes with the territory when writing in greentext, I suppose.

Mankind ill needs a savior such as them.

Players that spend 75% of the time on their phone not saying a word and the other 25% saying "I attack [enemy]".

"NAT 20!!! ECKS DEE"

Since nobody else has said it.

>"what do I have to roll again?"

>Debuff like 3 enemies to roll at disadvantage in a session
>DM forgets every time

It didn't hurt too much since I was kicking ass and taking names regardless, but come on now

This is my situation right now.
>DM builds campaign
>haha. guys, lets do a pacifist run like Undertale
>haha. I roll to seduce the enemy
Over the course of about 20 sessions, one person tries to constantly befriend the enemy, one tries to seduce it, and the rest don't pay attention. Needless to say, it stopped being funny after the first time, but they want to be the funniboi.
I feel bad for the DM who wanted to do a more serious campaign, but at the same time, they continue to do a serious campaign when clearly the party doesn't want to take it seriously. That sort of thing is fine, but if there's a difference in what the DM and players want, there's gonna be problems.

I make my Warriors learn fighting irl. If he can't righteously end an opponent, make him roll cleric instead.

I make my clerics learn their holy book outside of game time. If they can't perfectly recite any verse I say, I force them to play a mage.

I make my rogues learn to pickpocket IRL. If they can't take the DM's keys, wallet and phone out of his pocket without him noticing, make them roll a barbarian.

I make my ranger fuck animals IRL. If he can't make his dog orgasm, how is he supposed to get it to attack for him.

>not playing it ain't me when killing some orcs

Not knowing this song

youtu.be/isxvXITTLLY

I make my barbarians learn to fly into a rage at the drop of a stick. if they can't get angry at a random pedestrian and beat them to death, I make them roll a wizard

>not playing the Friends theme on a lute in the Tavern

I make my samurais follow bushido IRL. If they can't commit seppuku in front of me, I make them play a truenamer.

>Respect

>implying there's something wrong with playing Paranoid

>he doesn't play his own compositions on a hurdy gurdy

>hurdy gurdy
>not theremin

>mfw priest of Khorne
>mfw I'm actually a barbarian
>mfw I've been preparing my whole life for this

Guess my bard just knows Silver for Monsters and Steel for Men.

So it's like the post office?

what is a therapist? a miserable little pile of secrets!

>Someone's playing a roleplaying game
>Proceeds to act [insert what I do not like]
>cue autism

I make my Clerics learn world religion irl. If they can't get the favor of a god, then they have to play a wizard instead.

>be part of morally questionable merc company inna jungle
>It ain't me starts playing

>player getting into his character and brings props
>dm gets mad at this

not a real lute

>haha. guys, lets do a pacifist run like Undertale
I can see this being really annoying if the rest of the party doesn't go for it but my favorite campaign was a three-player group of pacifists who only killed when all other options were exhausted. You could count our combined kills on one hand when the campaign fizzled and died halfway through due to GM fatigue, most enemies were just incapacitated or reasoned with.

Why toothdoctor kys much?

>roll a 20 right?
nigga you've been playing this game like 4x longer than I have

I literally did this three days ago, and it was awesome. Don’t know what’s up OPs butt, but clearly he needs medical attention.

you have a shitty sense of humour

I also could see it being fun. But the problem was as you stated. It wasn't something universally desired, and certainly not by the DM. Again though, DM's fault partially for not considering the mental capacity of her group.

I make my wizards be 30 year old virgins irl. If they can't then hiw are we even friends.

I make my illusionists perform magic tricks irl. If they can't make ugly girls look pretty, they can play a ranger instead.

Maximum respect. Damn fine that was.

I make my Warlocks make pacts with powerful entities irl. If they can't sell their allegiance for otherworldly powers, they can play a alchemist instead.

I had a Bard who would spend the time when the focus wasn't on him writing shitey (but in-character) rhymes and couplets about the other characters to use for his buffs.
feelsgoodman.jpg

I make my alchemist study alchemy irl. If they can't turn lead into gold, I make them play a gunslinger instead.

FYI that audio was stolen this from this wonderful channel
youtube.com/watch?v=J_zjgZJOFl4

>he doesn't play one of the few acoustic instruments that's loud enough to cause hearing damage even after you take the resonant chamber off it

God damn, that was great

youtu.be/X8CkSw4hVog

How would you want a spell-free bard to work tg?

I make my gunslingers practice gunplay irl. If they aren't worth of being called 'pardner', they can play a Druid instead.

I make my Druids talk to plants irl, if my rose bush doesn't talk back, they can play a Beast master Ranger instead.

Maybe he's from the future? youtu.be/kzcaO1thwHY

>Beastmaster ranger

How could you you monster.

He should've watched his tongue when he was around my rosebush.

What if he talks back but you can't hear it?

>DM says I have to follow my God's religion perfectly and recite every passage of His Word perfectly or he'll make me play a caster instead
>gets mad when I smack him for having premarital sex
Who was in the wrong here?

You. It clearly states in your gods scripture that level of degenerate heresy requires summary execution. Now off to the caster pits with you.

That's an innuendo or?

How could I have been so foolish!

God knows how much I love that picture. Wat anime?

I blame religion

You both were. He was autistic and you made things personal.

Google suggests Ai Mai Mi but don't take my word for it.

If my beast master ranger can't tame a wild boar IRL then I make him play a fighter.

>his bards don't actually have to bring an instrument to play or sing whatever they plan to do
It's a great deterrent.

>Veeky Forums finally invites me to play some traditional games with them
>want to play a cool wizard, spooky assassin or virtuous paladin
>can't do anything fun like that in real life so they make me play a Villager instead

This man's videos need more views.
Goddamn.
youtu.be/NT5-ZLJTi0I
youtube.com/watch?v=BLdH9P3IidY
youtube.com/watch?v=JtAIvup6QOU

>villager
Do you know how to effectively plant crops, thatch a roof, hunt, clean your kills, or preserve your own meat? Do you know the proper way to court or the kinds of dowry you'd have to provide? How much land do your families own and what kind of livestock do you have?

>Do you know how to effectively plant crops, thatch a roof, hunt, clean your kills, or preserve your own meat?
No.
>Do you know the proper way to court or the kinds of dowry you'd have to provide?
N-No...
>How much land do your families own and what kind of livestock do you have?
None...

none of you would survive in the worlds you create

No, but meme faggots deserve to die IRL. That shit is sad enough on the net.

Sounds like you're heading for my favored class.
Village Idiot. You get some nice perks though.
Valid excuse not to wear pants at the table is OP, though a wise DM will homerule that one right out.

I make my villagers go to trade school irl. If they don't aquire tough hands from the wholesome work of their trade, they can play a sorcerer instead.

Not so fast, to be a village idiot these days you have to have at least a graduate level degree on advanced buffoonery, theoretical stupidity or women's studies.

>all you orcs/elves/dwarves/etc look the same
>you're such a fantasy racist
Every group makes that comment and it is so obvious and old I hate it

You're right.