Classic Modron Numeral

I'm one of many models of a Classic Modron Numeral
With information Astral, Prime material, Etherial
I know the different species wandering throughout the outer planes
But find myself confused when I participate in tiefling games
I'm very well acquainted with the many gears of Mechanus
I follow the chain of command that comes down from the great Primus
I've researched every kind of fact from science and philosophy
(Searching, processing, buffering a rhyme)
From patterns on a blowfly's wings to the many layers of Carceri

I'm very good with languages both elegant and guttural
It helps me when I've traveling the messy streets of old Sigil
I'm short but in a fight you'll see that I am still quite capable
I'm one of many models of a Classic Modron Numeral

Other urls found in this thread:

youtube.com/watch?v=hlTisI_HSgw
twitter.com/NSFWRedditVideo

I know the planar histories, I'm better than the best mimir
My psyche is immune to spells like feeble mind, mass charm, and fear
In terms of my alignment I am as lawful as the strictest judge
My disposition is so stubborn I'd die before I'd budge
I have acute awareness of my place in the great hierarchy
I never produce waste nor do I ever need to sleep or feed
In term of planar fashion, I say all my sides are quite in vogue
(stops singing, audible whirring and clicking of gears and it winds up for the next set of verses)
Although I worry daily of eventually going rogue

There is no piece of clockwork that I cannot find a way to fix
I hold a bitter hatred of disorder and the chaotic
I think that I'm quite interesting but others find me such a bore
I'm one of many models of a Classic Modron Numeral

I traverse the great wheel at some point, every three hundred years or so
In the great procession, marching in orderly ranks we go
Obtaining information from the many places that we pass
Destroying every creature and obstacle that impedes our path
We're hated all across the planes for our literal state of mind
From vivisecting Assimar to scrutinizing Demonkind
In terms of the editions we've experienced our rise and falls
(Begins clicking angrily before calming down to a low whir)
Like in third when were we all replaced by the Inevitables

I'm glad in fifth edition to be taken down from off the shelf
But I still cannot comply when I'm order to go fuck myself
But I'm still an annoying, one-track-minded, very literal
One of many models of a Classic Modron Numeral

THERE! Now maybe I can get some fucking sleep again!

dude...the fuck?

Y hallo thar.

FUCK OFF ORCUS! WE DON'T NEED YOUR CHAOTIC ASS MESSING WITH OUR SHIT!

I hear all of this in the voice of an extremely white rapper

youtube.com/watch?v=hlTisI_HSgw

Handy screencap

Think we could find someone capable of singing this?

Rythm is a bit off, but good effort.

Does this count as Veeky Forums doing filk again?

I don't know, but at least we've got something.

Now this is the kind of content I come to Veeky Forums for. Good job OP.

Sleep tight, OP.

I'm not even gonna ask how long this took to write out.

Good going OP.

same

The meter doesn't scan at all. There's hardly a single syllable that's correctly stressed or unstressed. Most of the rhymes are forced or nonexistent and some of the lines have too many syllables. A valiant effort, but not ready to show people yet.

>But I still cannot comply when I'm order to go fuck myself
Best line

this.

it reads like someone who never took a poetry class and is completely unaware of the concept of verse or meter

Welcome to gilbert and sullivan.

The forced nature of the rhymes and meters is iirc a fairly integral element of the english music hall tradition they came out of - you'd throw in easy to sing along to songs into plays then more than a few completely wacky things that a skilled stage performer could pull off with practice but which would devolve an audience trying to sing along into a mumbling mess, thus gaining a laugh from the audience and making the singers seem more skilled and respectable.

Looks like we need someone to sing this to make sense of it.

It isn't supposed to scan perfectly, it's a stage song, those tend to be a little odd and require some vocal finageling from the singer, its oddness is a feature not a bug.

You're the good kind of faggot, OP, one that still makes shit. Well done man. Even if it isn't a perfect replication of Modern Major General, it's pretty good.

Damn, 1st ed Orcus was kinda low key compared to his modern version.

Someone who is familiar with good ole' music hall?

Never thought I'd ever see that mentioned on the chans.

Surely, using a computer generated voice would be best?

Veeky Forums is kinda the defacto "folk music" board due to /mu/ not being that and filk.

Shockingly, he's one of the most consistent characters in D&D- much of Throne of Bloodstone is still canon. And the guy's height as still remained 15ft.

...