What would someone with 8 in every ability score be like? What about 10, or 12, or 14...

How about in 5E?

Yup, I approve.

Charisma is likely his best stat but he's no slouch in anything else. His ability to inspire others is his most important quality but don't forget: He was the tactician for the Avengers for years, even with people like Vision and Stark as part of it. In the Marvel/DC crossover Batman himself bows out to him when it comes to being the tactician they need.

So inspiring leader feat? Along with tough, resilient, tavern brawler, keen mind, lucky and charger I'm guessing.

I'd argue that Homer's Constitution is way higher than 8. Refer to the Chili Cook-Off and his brief career in pro boxing. I'm sure there are other examples, but I can't recall them right now.

I dunno about 5e
In AD&D though:
8: average guy but a bit clumsy and not particularly skilled.
10: average guy with no real strengths or edges
12: Average guy who happens to be decent at most things he tries
14/15: Guy who could do most typical human tasks if he put his mind to it

That's a big jump from average to virtually flawless isn't it.

Bump!

Human Male Paladin (AMERICA)
Alignment: Always Lawful Good (even that time he was a Nazi - prove me wrong you can't)
Str: 18
Dex: 18
Con: 18
Int: 16
Wis: 16
Cha: 20

Is this in 5E? If so it looks great to me!

Homer Simpson
Human Male Barbarian
Alignment: Chaotic Neutral.
Str: 12 (He's strong, but not unusually so)
Dex: 8
Con: 20 (Homer can consistently survive a downright inhuman amount of punishment)
Int: 8 (As low as 5 depending on where he's at Flanderization wise)
Wis: 8 (Ditto)
Cha: 15 (Homer can be surprisingly persuasive when he puts his mind to it)

Holy fuck.
Why do people keep this meme up? His origin literally says he has peak human intellect, and he is prized for his decision making, leadership, and tactical abilities.
Do you not understand what being "peak" means?

>b-but he's not tony stark how can he have int above 14!

Background: Soldier

Classes: he'd need levels in at least 2 classes. Barbarian's unarmored defense and mobility, fighter's fighting styles (protection and defensive duelist I think?) and maneuvers (needs to be battlemaster), maybe more if you're inclined to do so.

Stats: flat 18-20s all around

To simulate his feats with in game mechanics you'd need:
Inspiring Leader, Weapon Master, Mobile, Skilled, Tavern Brawler, Mounted Combat (Bike), Grappler, Athlete, Charger, Keen Mind.
Don't see why Lucky though, but I guess it can mimic his plot armor, doesn't matter either way since this many feats is impossible.

Superheroes are NOT meant to be played in D&D, folks.

Tony isn't even the smartest person in the room half the time.
But now with the MCU pulling a fuckin' moon girl on the big screen, I wonder if the perception will change.

That's an excellent write up user thanks for sharing it! No levels of rogue or monk in his build? What about expertise and unarmed attacks?

I kind of wish it could though. I dream of a day where dungeons and dragons can handle different tiers of play the same way that Exalted can.

Expert tactician? Where did he get that skill? Wasn't he just the gruntiest of grunts in WW2 before he took the serum? And after that his handlers just carted him around in colorful pajamas and told him to punch nazis

YES. THANK YOU FOR AGREEING WITH ME ON THAT. Moon girl?

Superhuman brain, he can process info fast enough to predict bullet patterns (20 wis with perception expertise?) and his memory, pattern recognition and learning speed is unparalleled (Int 18-20)

Did someone say straight 18?
I'm classing the Wolfgang incident as a critically failed perception/wisdom check

Wolfgang incident?
(Also nice codpiece dork)

>Wasn't he just the gruntiest of grunts in WW2 before he took the serum?

He wasn't even a soldier before he took the serum

Good point.

Replace Barb with Monk.

Level up to 7 in Rogue to get Evasion. Pick the Mastermind archetype.

Monk up to level 10 (gives you Unarmored Defense and movement, hell even the mental feature works) up to Purity of Body.
Take the Kensei archetype, it fits really well!

Last 3 levels in Fighter - Battlemaster. Also a good fit.

He got the shit beaten out of him by a werewolf because he insisted on fighting fair.
It was probably his single greatest lapse in judgment in the entire series; possibly brought on by the fact getting complacent since he'd never fought anyone so dangerous, or vastly underestimating his opponent.

>(Also nice codpiece dork)
>Not protecting your vitals

Getting regularly hit with cannonballs as a sideshow freak, surviving multiple falls into canyons, being blasted with radioactive gas from a tank, surviving his high radiation work environment.

But Homer runs more on a system where HP and CON are unrelated. He has no stamina but soaks a lot of shit.

Captain America
Race: -Peak- Human (Variant)
Let's say it puts you at 20 on all stats, like vampirism does for STR and such.
But with the added bonus of gaining 6 feats, because why not?

Background: Soldier
Class: Fighter Battlemaster [3], Rogue Mastermind [7], Monk Kensei [10]
Str. 20
Dex. 20
Con. 20
Int. 20
Wis. 20
Cha. 20

Speed:
AC:
Initiative: +5

Feats:
Prodigy (Survival, Expertise: Perception)
Mobile
Grappler
Athlete
Charger
Keen Mind
Mounted Combat (Bike) - ASI
Inspiring Leader - ASI
Skilled - ASI (Persuasion, Perception, Intimidation)

Saving Throws:
Str
Con

Proficiencies:
All Armors, Shields, Martial Weapons, Simple Weapons, Athletics, Acrobatics, Intimidation, Perception, Persuasion, Stealth, Survival, Artisan's Tools (Calligrapher's Supplies), Way of the Brush (Painter's Supplies), Vehicle (Bike), Gaming Set (Whack-A-Tony)

Fighter Features:
Second Wind
Action Surge
Fighting Style (Protection)
Student of War (Painter's Supplies)
Maneuvers (Commander's Strike, Parry, Evasive Footwork)

Rogue Features:
+1 Skill
Expertise (Athletics, Acrobatics)
Sneak Attack
Thieves Cant
Cunning Action
Master of Intrigue
Master of Tactics
ASI - feat
Uncanny Dodge
Evasion

Monk Features:
Unarmored Defense
Martial Arts
Unarmored Movement
Deflect Missiles
Path of the Kensei (check it out, it's great)
Deft Strike
Slow Fall
Stunning Strike
Extra Attack
Ki Strikes
Stillness of Mind
Unarmored Movement Improvement
Purity of Body
ASI x2 - 2x feat

I think this is the best I can come up with, and it still feels kinda incomplete.
Tempted to add in stuff like Tavern brawler even if redundant for the improvised weapon proficiency.
Or Resilient to give him Dex saving throws.

Notes:
Shamefully Unarmored Movement doesn't let you use shields while going fast, unlike Fast Movement.

As well, Unarmored Defense for monks and barbarians work differently.

Here are Speed and AC:
Speed: 40ft / 50ft (no shield)
AC: 20

To be fully workable he'd need to gain 5 levels in barbarian, but we're already reaching dangerous levels of overlap and multiclassing.

*17 (with shield)

In the Ultimate Universe that was actually a plot point. He had utterly no experience or talent for tactics beforehand, but after the serum he was incredibly skilled at it.