A pair of Centaur maidens fight for your affection. The village elders prepare the marriage bed...

>A pair of Centaur maidens fight for your affection. The village elders prepare the marriage bed. You are to wed to survivor.

How did it come to this?

It's my secret plot to have them kill each other.

A lost weekend with a LOT of booze.

I'm hung like a horse

I'm DEAD SEXY!

Are those… centauress vampiresses?

Because you chose to stay when the rest of us where getting right the fuck outta dodge. If you survive, don't try and find us and if you die? we're not collecting your corpse

But I've already got an arachne wife.

>the tales of max Charisma bard that dumped luck

Ah, see, there's the problem, your wife with 8 legs got split in twain

Because I am a barrel of chocolate dipped apples

Well, there's no need for them to fight, then. I can just have both.

>8 legs
>7 verjohnyas

They were both coming on to you but you dumped WIS so they both thought you were ignoring them for the other.

This is all your fault.

A series of really bad charisma checks

The DM discovered your fetish, and now he's going to make you squirm.

>How did it come to this?

I played a bard.

I told you that we shouldn't have let that merchant pay us with a wagonload of salt!

You fed them thereby saving them their culture says they must marry their saver.

Can't I have both?

new pawn when?

It's a tie and I get to wed both of them.