So what's your problem player like?

He's spineless, and a powergamer. Those are his to main defining traits at the table. He builds powerful characters, and wants them to be successful, but then he's easily intimidated by anyone speaking over him, or talking down to him, or even being slightly firm with him.
He also has absolutely no self-control, which is just another way of saying he's too spineless to even discipline himself.
Right now he's checked into a therapy center for Tech Addiction, which is basically rehab for smartphone and vidya addicts.
He was originally given an iPhone, but he figured out how to get around the parental controls and started messing around with it, so they gave him a flip phone instead.
Then he found out where he could get into vacant computer labs on college campus and basically spend his nights fucking around on the computers, even ignoring curfew that the addiction center has placed on him.
Right now, his abuse of the computer labs has gotten to the point where his therapist has temporarily banned him from entering campus grounds. This impacts our group because the private study rooms on campus are the most convenient place for us to all meet. Our GM is attempting to get the therapist to allow him on campus just for game nights, and only if he stays with us, with our whistles at the ready should he wander off.
All because he doesn't have the self-control or desire to change.
As to why we tolerate him? He's a sycophant, and has already entrenched himself in the group. I'm secretly hoping that he'll fuck this up, and we can say goodbye to him forever.

Finally, just for the icing on the cake, he claims he's bisexual. He's not like most bi-men you meet though, who have this "I'll fuck anything" degenerate attitude that you can almost respect the same way you might respect /d/. No, I'm 90% sure he'd normally be straight were he not so utterly spineless that I think he'd bend over backwards towards anyone who shows him the slightest bit of affection. Everyone I've seen him otherwise choose to date has been female. It's the utmost creepiest vibe when your lasting impression of someone is "This person has no independence or integrity to speak of, to the point that were I to coerce him into anything under the guise of romantic interest, he would go along with it without question, because he's just that desperate for human attention."
Anyway, yeah, that's my "That Guy."

How am I a dick? Anyone would find the problems I mentioned frustrating. I've told him before to cut that shit out but he keeps doing it.

gets beaten by her father IRL and the game ends

You are not a dick. The worst I can say about you is that your character judgement is poor, since it's totally implausible that the player you describe is "a great guy outside the game". He is a tool.

I'm related to the person, which makes it more annoying.

>tries to separate from the party, specifically so he can do ABSOLUTELY NOTHING and disappear from the plot
>actively antagonises the other members, using biases previously undisclosed
>plays Neutral Good but still tries to get a teammate arrested for a non-existent crime, after said teammate was actually just a victim of a crime and they've approached the guards to report it
>is actively not engaging in the plot
>meta games instead of relying on IC information

I hope he'll improve. I'd hate to fish around for strangers to play with.

I don't have one because I'm an adult who can choose to not associate with shitheads

this

During the character creation session, in response to another player's question, I mentioned that humans in the region where the campaign was taking place looked Yoruba. A completely different player sperged out, not because of /pol/ reasons the player is actually black, but because this didn't match the anime tiddy art they had previously decided on for their character. Didn't say anything for the rest of character creation, and barely participated in the first session. Next week, came back insisting on playing a new character from a different continent.

Story?

So far we've been lucky. The only problem is the rookie that doesn't roleplay.

But I've seen some pretty bad players.
>In a room full of sheep.
>As in literally swimming in wool
>"I cast Fireball"

Wool isn't really that flammable though.

They always trash talk the other players when they arent around and needlessly obsess over and magnify their minor flaws.

He's eleven years old and came out of my wifes vagina.

He has the emotional stability of a menopausal woman, but god damn is he funny.

>Eleven
>Emotionally unstable
The fuck you do to that kid?

Nothing I did, nothing she did, kid just had a rough early childhood.

Fuck off you namby pamby cocksucker

Holy fuck, you are so over the top with your hatred for this guy, what'd he do, rape your cat or something? I feel like I'm reading Orson Welles rant about Woody Allen

This homeless person, are we talking in character, or out of character? Is one of your players a lovable tramp who wandered in the FLGS with some dice and hangs around for the free food, a roof over his head and a chance to briefly escape the cruel reality that is being homeless in winter?

Kids being emotionally unstable is pretty much a staple of being kid, crying for no reason and getting mad over shit that if they thought about for a moment probably wouldn't anger them

This, however, has peaked my interest. What actually happened to the kid?

rule #1, if your group doesn't have a 'that guy', you ARE that groups 'that guy'.

Well for one, he didn't actually come out of my wifes vagina.

He's actually the (dubious legality) adopted son of her (now dead) drug addict cousin. He was a bit young when it all happened but we've no doubt it had a bit of a lasting effect.

He's a good kid, really kind heart and a killer sense of humor, but sometimes has a hard time dealing with shit.

Do you have autism?

Did you tell him to stop being a fuck stick?

Take good care of him, bud. On the cusp of puberty with a past like that it must be hard for the lad.

That's fucking crazy. What kind of stuff does he do? I can't imagine how hard it must be being in that kind of situation

I may not be his father and he knows it, but it is one of my biggest goals in life to be a good man to that boy.

Being able to run tabletop for her and her boys is probably one of my greatest joys.

I don't think he really remembers much of it, if at all.

He doesn't lash out in big ways or anything, but he has long periods of depression that he can't explain that causes him to be snappy and emotional.

On days like that not having enough bread to make his beans and toast in the morning can be the thing that causes him to spiral.

Just remember that at that age group at a certain point he will start pushing away adult figures to try and stand on his own, and he will probably say some really mean things about your relationship with him considering you're not his father.

Don't take that personal. Take that from me, I've seen it happen and parents completely break down over it. It's just a puberty thing.

Oh I know, and I'm thankful her oldest never put her through that. However I know the 11 year old is likely to be a very different experience as he starts through puberty in earnest.

Not present.

When we started the game I was really glad to have them because they can roleplay really well when chemically stable, but since like half a year ago they never come to sessions, I have to ping them every time which is fucking embarassing for both of us, and then like 90% of the time it's uh my head started to hurt I need to do house chores I've got school tomorrow. And forgot to do homework all week.

The worst part is he said it's okay and can play normally if we just start a little earlier, and then he posts like two sentences and disappears even if I have set up the session all around his character.

This, and their apparent passion about the game as well as them keeping up with their character sheet, to me, implies that they genuinely care about the game but ran into some difficult to surmount personal issue preventing them from playing they don't want to admit to. But at this point we're all sick of their shit and mentally them in one of those 'please be patient, I have autism' hats.

We have a guy in our party who literally murdered unconscious npcs because "They might have recognized him" despite the fact that hes not wanted in any way and they were KO'd when we got there. He also robbed a store in the middle of a giant attack for a regular shirt despite having hundreds of gold.

He takes things super seriously when other characters question his bullshit and thinks its a personal attack.

Typical really.

>Every character is an edgy self insert
>Always wants to be the main character
>Long, self fellating, and rigid backstories that only serve to be restrictive to his roleplaying opportunities and hinder any chance at him having any sort of compatibility with the rest of the party.
>Alignment always quickly shifts to evil regardless of what's on his character sheet.
>Starts party fights every time he doesn't get his way, regardless of group consensus. Every character he plays rather kill his friends than even consider compromising on literally anything.
>Often butthurt that all of the other players/PCs are against/out to get him, without having the self awareness to realize that maybe they arn't the problem

Nice guy OoC, but he's seriously bringing down games. He's been talked to, one more strike and he's out.

>Nice guy OoC

why do so many people say this about their That Guys? kyle is a fucking douchbag out of character as well, it's just that you're too myopic to notice most of the time because his douchbaggery doesn't cause conflict with you the rest of the time.

the rest of the time you're probably laughing at holocaust jokes and voting trump together, that's why you think he's a nice guy. it's only his behaviour at the table that forces you to recognise that he doesn't give two shits about you or anyone else. and STILL you can't see that he's a piece of human garbage.

Projecting much?

Outside of games he's a shy and introverted guy, which is why I think is part of the reason goes full on power trip fantasy when playing tabletop roleplaying games. I have no problems with him as a person, hell it's the reason I'm giving him another chance instead of just straight kicking his ass to the curb. It's just the way he approaches playing games that's utterly incompatible with what everyone else wants to do.

Not everything is black and white.

Demands that his autistic OC donut steel character concepts be catered to. Unfortunately the game is DnD 5e (I'm a player not GM) but this guy cannot fathom accepting something within the framework of DnD. He's dead set on playing an elementalist/bender gish, but no ingame builds are enough for him, not eldritch knight with a selection of elemental-themed spells, not a combat-heavy circle of land druid, not way of the four elements monk, nothing. Not even if spell lists are swapped.
He's basically saddled the GM and myself (the more experienced homebrewers of the group) with building him an entire new gish class.

This would be perfect for any system more freeform than DnD, we've practically begged for him to save this character for another game the DM has offered to run (Cypher or FATE) but he won't have it, and we're desperate for players.

We don't have one at the moment because we kicked both their asses out.
Although I live in fear of becoming the next one.

>He's probably an asshole
>No, he's shy and introverted
He can't be both?

He's not though, as I said he's a nice guy. He's just oblivious to how shitty his in game antics are, despite the psychology behind them being so utterly transparent to me from the other side of the DM screen. No one was actively calling for him to be removed from the game, though I could tell my other players were getting to the point where his characters were getting in the way of their fun and progressing in the game in general. That's why I pulled him aside and explained it to him bluntly. Now he has the opportunity to shape up or get out.

Have you told him how bad it is?

>muh drumpf
Holy balls you are OBSESSED

>That's why I pulled him aside and explained it to him bluntly.

This is what you're doing, this is why it's bad, this is why people are starting to get sick of your shit and you feel like you're being singled out by the rest of the group. I'm giving you another chance. Roll up a new character for next week(he turned on the party again and they put him down), keep these things in mind, and try to get your shit together. If not, I'm sorry but we'll have to part ways for the good of the game.

Something to that effect. He seemed to take it pretty well, said he appreciated the honesty. I'll find out next week if he took the criticism to heart or if I need to boot the guy.

>speech impediment, sounds like a downy, 6'5 socially awkward power gamer who plays like a video game
>always metagames
>plays a bard who has powers of suggestion of some gay shit
>gets assblasted when things dont go his way
>constantly cheats or tries to bend rules like forgetting to level up last session, so he tries to do it in the middle of combat
>Im the only one who calls him out on his shit
I hate you That Guy. I hate you like Ive never hated anyone before.

I have one guy who is always so obsessed with being "unique" that he tries to make playstyles that get incredibly boring for the sake of being different. For example, he wanted to play a cleric with dual shields. He's also incredibly pretentious with his intelligence and is a huge min-maxer.

I have another who is incredibly lazy and hates reading and writing (he's a bit of a brainlet), so it takes a lot of effort to get him to really read his abilities. He also doesn't understand role-playing much, but he's fairly new so I give him a pass on the last part.

You are a disgusting human being.
Yeah, you. Not him.

There's two of them. They always have characters who seam reasonable, sometimes even underpowered and then a few sessions in the manage to combine their abilities to disastrous effect.

t. That Guy

That just sounds like good play. Do they do it to the exclusion of other players?

Hope that little rant of yours atleast made you feel a tiny bit better in your blackened soul, my dude.

Why is everyone jumping down this guy's throat tho, sounds like his guy is a fucking snowflake.

>Therapy center for tech addiction

What are you, chinese?

Why is he disgusting?

Depends on their whims. Most of the Time i mangage to keep them in check but one time in Shadowrun they managed to sneak builds by me which turned out moderatly useless on their own and absolutely overpowered if left unchecked. It was a combination of a Technomancer and a street sam with a (supposedly) glitchy skillwire system. They then pooled their money and blew it all on skillsofts. Suddenly top rated skills in everything all the time without glitches, thanks to sprites. That was something i had to deal with, because it made the other 3 people basically obsolete.
In the end i designed ridiculously complicated runs which relied heavily on getting sutff done simultaniously, so the skill switch gimick could still be used and everybody had something to do.

I have a girl in my group who Nat 20's everything for the sake of her not wanting conflict. The other players reinforce this behavior, stating, "It's true, she does it with any dice!"

Truth is, she "Rolls", but grabs the dice immediately after. So, I spoke to her about it, telling her DC's aren't actually that high, that sometimes failure is how the story progresses and can lead to better outcomes than if you critically succeed. She continued to do it.

A few sessions ago, I sat down beside her, and had her roll next to me (as natural as I could- I wanted to sit with the players as an NPC rather than GM). Suddenly, rolls like 8's, 16's, 12's and the likes became commonplace. I figured, cool, once she learns that these can lead to success, I don't need to hawk over her, that she can be honest and willing to accept luck in playing a part.

This was a mistake. Last session, during a combat, she NAT 20'd multiple times. Saves, attacks, etc.
I'm honestly still a little upset over it.
During a save v.s. Death roll (we play 5e, and this was the first time she's had to do such a thing), she "critically succeeded", but didn't even roll the dice... like, hoped I didn't see her move an inch. I ignored her, and continued with combat, her having stabilized, but unconscious.

Thing is, she's a dear friend. I'm uncertain how to proceed. I'm beta as fuck, and don't want there to be issues with the game, but this is driving me nuts. Should I just buy a dice tower or something? Or should I continue to ignore this (i.e. when she crits, not actually reducing hp by the amount she says)? I've already talked to her about this once. The other players have apparently said things, too. But none of us want to hurt her feelings. Dunno.

>In the end i designed ridiculously complicated runs which relied heavily on getting sutff done simultaniously, so the skill switch gimick could still be used and everybody had something to do.
That actually sounds really fun if done well

If no one cares then why would you do anything?

kek, you win, he sounds like a fucking freak. Those kind of mother fuckers are so tedious to deal with, despite what the tumblr faggots online say. Life is hard enough handling your own shit and these kind of guys are like hey want to help me carry all of my baggage too while you're at it?

He is *incredibly* stupid and suspicious, and is completely blind of the fact. He thinks he's constantly going to get one over on whomever is happening to GM at the time, and inevitably shoots himself in the foot. The latest example of his idiocy.

>Players are working for a king of a minor country, on first name basis with a lot of the movers and shakers of the realm
>In the capital city, at the market, getting supplies.
>While they're there, dangle a minor hook, an apprentice glassblower who is a real genius at his craft, who made a very beautiful art piece and wants to give it as a gift to the court sorcerer.
>Appretnice's motives are pretty reasonable; his master's shop mostly makes potion bottles, but he's good and he knows he's good and can make some really expensive pieces. A work or two in the palace where people can see it will bring people wanting his own stuff, and then he can move into business on his own with a few commissions under his belt. It's basically free advertising.
>Suspicious retard becomes instantly convinced that this is part of some plot to assassinate Pelden, so grabs the glass hunting dog, throws it on the floor, shattering it, and then starts searching for the poison that HAS to be there.
>Doesn't find any of course.
>Then doesn't understand why the apprentice or his employer are both mad at him; until he "realizes" they are clearly paid agents from a rival country.
>Tries to have them arrested, but of course gets laughed at by the guards, despite his status.

Holy shit user. Damn right you are beta as fuck, that shit is entirely unacceptable. I'd expect that out of 10 year olds not an adult, >inb4 hurr women are children in what universe does anyone "roll" dice like that?
The next time she pulls that shit, you tell her that if you didn't see/OK the roll then it didn't happen and make her roll again. This is DMing 101.
If she can't stand to roll dice, then why is she playing a game that necessitates it? Kick her out if she doesn't cop on.

>glassblower
>his master's shop mostly makes potion bottles

Not a criticism of your game in the slightest, but it just occurred to me how bizarre it is to keep expensive and potentially life-critical liquids in glass containers in a combat situation

I AM the problem player.

...no seriously, what should i do to make ammends when i fuck up a game?

I think I might be my current campaigns worst player. It's only been 2 sessions but I just plain don't like the campaign. I'd just quit or talk to my GM about it but it's a group of my friends, not just randoms online, and that our DM is really excited about the campaign premise/concept, which is the part I don't like.

Depends. How did you fuck it up?

Care to elaborate on this premise or are they regulars here?

Regardless, talking to the DM about how he can better engage you as a player is never a bad thing.

It was a bitch to run, because i had a split party a lot of the time, but i always try to incorporate what people wanna do and maybe give them some restrictions and tell them why those matter, rather than just slam the door shut and simply say "no, no way in hell are you gonna do x". Fortunately my players are somewhat reasonable. It's just sort of a professional hazard for code monkeys to find loopholes, flaws and exploits in the rules. They can't seem to help it.

Split them as in have two groups who don't know what the other is doing? Were walkie-talkies not an option?

This is in D&D 5th. So we are all criminals of various types, and have been sentenced to exile in an inescapable prison plane. Magic functions all wonky there (I think depending on school? not sure) and there are various layers with different environments. This is all stuff I can get behind, even though I didn't like being forced to make a criminal. We all get pushed in wearing literal prison rags and very little loot beyond that. One weapon, some rope, a minor healing pot each, and a few survival items. The DM has decided that this is a sandbox/survival game where how much water we drink and what we eat will be counted, literally to the litre and calorie-count. We spend half of our sessions trying to figure out how to make death-plants in the swamp we are stuck in into edible food items and skinning animals into clothing/leather. It's just fucking BORING, I don't always need to be a hero but I'm just not having a good time and was kind of intentionally trying to get my character killed in our previous session. Nothing like "I stab myself" but bad tactical moves and such.

They kew exactly what the others were doing. One time they were on a clock to take down 2 power generators for an alarm system exactly when the decker cuts main power. that meant i had three runs going on, two in the real world, one in the matrix. So i had to keep track of what everybody was doing and take care not to let anyone sit around doing nothing. After all the main issue is to keep it entertaining for everybody. If you have just one group doing a thing at one place, it's way easier to keep track.

I'm not trying to be a shill here, but have you considered doing a one shot of a light and loose system like Fiasco?
It looks like a lot of Those Guys are either looking for creative outlets or just plain afraid of failure. Plus light systems have less rules to exploit.
One shots are a fun way to get people to loosen up.

TL;DR Have you tried not playing D&D?

Here's a story about 2 problem players, Fun Problems and Dumb Problems. Fun Problems is an idiot who causes strife and drama in the party, but in a hilariously inept way. Dumb Problems has clinical depression and might be autistic.

Fun Problems
>Party finds magic books.
>2 players are given secret information regarding the books based on their backgrounds.
>One shares the information openly. Other keeps it to himself.
>Fun Problems, who got no secret information, suddenly really wants the books, insists he gets to carry them, and refuses to give a reason (actually wants them to give to the local mage's circle in hopes they'll teach him better magic as to better help the party, but doesn't tell them that for no real reason).
>After 15 minutes of arguing they finally split the books between the party members.
>Fun Problem takes first watch that night and steals all the books except for Dumb Problems.
>Rest of party wakes up the next day.
>Play who actually knows what the books are checks his bags the moment he wakes up.
>No books.
>Fun Problems decides to run immediately. In a jungle. On an island. Days away from the boat. Which isn't chartered to him and won't leave with just him.
>When caught he tries to give back just the books he stole.
>Gets no books now.
>When party gets back to town they go to the Mage's Circle and bar Fun Problems from coming.
>Attempts to sneak after them. Has no sneak. Crit fail on top of that.

Dumb Problems
>Party is fighting zombies on switchback trail.
>Character is a fire mage.
>Refuses to cast spells. Wants to fashion a lasso instead to try and hang one of the zombies.
>There's a lot of zombies and the party is split.
>Has no crafting, throwing, or ranged skills what so ever.
>Spends 3 full rounds trying to make one.
>2 party members get seriously hurt during fight.
>Manages to make lasso. Misses.
>Gets upset when other players give him shit for doing nothing that fight.

>player who has killed more of the enemy faction than any other PC, complains when members of that faction target him first in battle
>player who has actually smashed shit in rage at shit rolls (thank god we don't play at my house, he has literally broken doors and shattered glass ornaments)
>player who asks me to run a specific type of campaign, I take a bit long setting it up and when we finally get to the parts he was waiting for, he decides his character isn't needed and leaves to go play video games in the next room
>player who wants to do cool shit and builds for it but ends up being super-broken because of how permissible I am (this is my own fault because he isn't trying to power game)
>player(s) who get pissed when they can't figure something out and blame me and even show me the Alexandrian Three-Clue Rule article on their phones (which I have already read, I read it seven years ago thank you)
>player(s) who interrupt me to show each other memes on their phone
>player(s) who get pissed when they face an actual challenge in combat
>player(s) who get pissed because they are playing a semi-shitty class
>player(s) who get pissed that they don't get enough treasure
I finally quit DMing. I am going to get to play again on Saturday and I am so excited.

>constantly wants to change characters or concepts
>half asses his math (if he does it all)
>rarely reads past the feat or ability title and base description meaning he uses them wrong most of the time despite the fact that he dug through several supplements to fucking find it.
>constant weeb concepts. We're talking "superior nippon steel gaijin" levels here.

Puts fucking ear buds in during game when it's not his action, gets all defensive when called on any of his shit.

Next time she does it, just tell her to roll it again, if you see her do it again, then tell her to stop doing it or she's actually going to ruin the entire campaign/storytelling for the sake of being someone who never fails. Failure is a big part of making your characters grow too and making and interesting campaign.
In other words, grow some balls and tell her to stop fucking doing it.

Maybe you should just leave if it's not the thing for you, user.

...

...

>Shows up late
>Before even starting asks if we can finish the session earlier this time
>Doesn't track his equipment
>Constantly trys to break rules about movement claiming he's stealthed
>Last game he told me it was time for him to go so he took his turn out of initiative order then bailed

>laughing at holocaust jokes and voting trump together

Inserting politics into everything is why everyone hates you.

Retardedly rushes enemy because he detected evil and usually gets himself KO'd instantly and sometimes drags the party with him.

sounds like a spastic cunt

Jesus fuck i didn't actually think it was possible to fuck things up like some of the above described situations.

She doesn't pay attention. She gets so absorbed into reading through her sheet that she ignores what is going on for 10 minutes, then asks for a recap. This happens multiple times across the 4 hour session. Then, despite me telling her that Tabaxi in my world don't "meow and lick their paws", that's what she does constantly.

I'd kick her if she wasn't the gf of the guy who lets us use his apartment and she didn't live with him.

>"Is it time for warhammer yet"
>No, we all agreed to do a Pathfinder one-shot today, you were there when we said this
>"Fuck this shit"

He's a problem that solves himself

>you were there when we said this
One of my players has this problem. He'll actively partake in a discussion of something different we're going to do next week and conveniently "forget" the day of the event.

WOW. Ok, I'm actually quite curious, what makes you hate me and not him?
Right now the story I've painted for you is someone who has no self-discipline, and has let their own addictions get in the way of not only his own life, but now our schedule as well. If I'd said he was sneaking onto campus to do drugs, or get drunk, it would be no different. Hell, half my group, including my GM, is about as mad as I am, and they've told me so.
No, where I'm thinking you guys are pissed off is when I brought his sexuality into it, and just how desperate this person presents himself as.

Utah.
This. This is what I was trying to get across.

t. Wannabe Batman

Try this? dmsguild.com/m/product/170851

That's what I grabbed for one of my players who had a similar concept.

Veeky Forums is full of redditors and tumblrtards so the moment you disparaged his bisexuality, they lashed out.

Either that or the "no self-discipline" hit too close to home.

okay.png user here, It had nothing to do with sexuality or self-discipline, it geniunely sounded like the guy had realy big problems that your or your group can't solve on your own, only he can, but the sheer hate in which you described him and every part of his being makes me think you're a pretty shitty person yourself.

....A survival game in CARCERI?

I'd talk to your GM about why it's fucking boring, better to attempt any kind of social anything out of game than make trouble in-game.

>when the player that wants to be the main character becomes the main character.
it's a problem DM. I had a nice plan for this character beyond being the elf's beating stick.