How the fuck do I deal with my players

So, I am a new DM running 5e, and no, I tried not playing DnD with my other group and it is pretty fun (much better than DnD to be honest), but this group consists of my friends and they only know 5e.

So, a bit more on context. There is this borderline autistic player who insists on not picking an oath and having me make his own oath. I did like the friend that I am, and I made one that catered to his wants.
The end result is a paladin with temporal powers and broken abilities all around like stopping time and summoning copies of himself. I was like, fine, I can balance against this, until he reads through the feat list for the first time and realizes that he can take two shields, get shield master, get heavy armor master and munchkin his way to getting shields to be weapons so that he can take dual wielder and get, with +1 shields and plate armor, defensive style for his paladin AND shield of faith,
18+3+3+1+1+2=28 AC, -3 reduction to physical damage and +6 to dex saves on 12th level.

He is already annoying to fight as I can throw CR 3 enemies at him without he taking a HP of damage because of his already high af AC, at level 4.

How should I deal with this fucker who barely reads the rules, and the first time he gets his little hands on the player's handbook, immediately tries to create the tankiest man alive and attempt to petition me for spells like mass compelled duel, which will break any combat I throw at them?

Also, I have a lore bard with 20 cha in the same team. Yeah, I made the shitty mistake of letting them roll instead of point distribution. I can talk about the bard in a different post.

There is also a girl who never talks and the other two are trying to make her empress of a nation. fuck me.

Picrelated is the paladin

also this is the pdf of the homebrew oath

It is broken and I want to just kill myself

You sound like you don't have much experience dealing with any kind of leadership. You can't expect to be responsible for steering the ship if you have no controls in place to prevent your crew from walking all over you. I would recommend that you restart your campaign and have them play standard classes out of the player handbook. And for fuck sakes have them roll stats in front of you

Sounds easy enough to bait him into breaking his oath so that he'll just be a shitty fighter with good AC. Also you can throw stuff at him that does damage VS a save to bypass his AC in the first place.

>So, I am a new DM running 5e, and no, I tried not playing DnD with my other group and it is pretty fun (much better than DnD to be honest),

Ah. Your problem is that you are a retard.

t. brainlet

Whoa, check out the guy who picks up his memes from /pol/.

Why are you letting him get the AC bonus of dual wielding shields?

What are you using for attackingnwith a shield? RAW it would be an improvised weapon so it would only deal 1d4 and he would not have his proficiency to hit without the tavern brawler feat.

Also I believe you can only have 3 magic items attuned at a time, so make sure to monitor his equipment.

You should explain to him that you’re no experienced in the game and have to make changes. If you and your friends are mature this shouldn’t be an issue.

I found my CoC playgroup after I started the campaign. I also played nechronica with my chinese weeb friends, but they don't have enough time, given the timezone gap between us.

Did you give no “cool down” to any ability? Especially that stupid time stop shit. Just nuke that homebrew

That is a channel divinity, and it gives him a level of fatigue so he gets raped by magic users after stopping time. The real problem are the oath spells and locus of gravity.

But yeah, I am considering baiting him out of his oath. He is stupid to the point of attempting to kill a level 8 mage and 10 illusionists at his level, so I think it would work.

>How should I deal with this fucker

Build a time machine, punch yourself in the dick for being such a massive fucking idiot, and tell the autist to pick a fucking oath.

Nothing wrong with the bard having 20 CHA luck was on his side, just dont give him the keys to the city because of high persuasion rolls or le crit XDDD meme.

If she seems to be enjoying it, oh well. If not attempt to bring up situations that suit her skillset or make NPCs ask what their quiet friend thinks on the situation.

Am exhaustion level of 1 only hurts ability checks not saving throws, so he does not. 15 seconds is equal to 5 rounds. With an extra attack of 2 that’s 10 attacks in one round, something far beyond what any class gets at any level.

>Am exhaustion level of 1 only hurts ability checks not saving throws, so he does not. 15 seconds is equal to 5 rounds. With an extra attack of 2 that’s 10 attacks in one round, something far beyond what any class gets at any level.

Oh, that is a one-time-only ability that he gets really late, by which time I plan the campaign to end already.

Sounds like the problem is you as a DM making shit decisions, not the player.

My advice is learning pic related. Just because a player asks for it doesn't mean you have to say yes, or even compromise. Especially when you make unbalanced shit like that oath in the process.

Also;
>allowing AC from two shields
>not making shields improvised weapons
>allowing shields to use the Dual Wielder feat

You shot yourself in the foot, better luck next time friendo.

You should probably learn to read the rules so you can properly adjudicate these things rather than just letting the player do whatever he wants because you don't know any better.

Speaking about the bard, although he is the only one who roleplays and strategizes properly, he is also actively trying to make me make homebrew that is going to be exploited or broken. I said no to all that knowing with his involvement he will try and fuck with everything. Also he is the only reason I can't bait the paladin into shitting himself, since he is actually smart enough to know the risk.

The girl seems to like the campaign, but is too insecure and not confident enough to say anything. She also makes dumb decisions, like breaking into a prison and getting caught by the guards. Her excuse? To deliver a crowbar to one of the prisoners.

Sit his ass down, tell him his character is broken. Tell him he's getting nerfed. Tell him no amount of whining will change this. Be a grown ass man.

"I shall use my newfound power for the greater good of all races."

Have the group get ambushed by gobbos or some shit, turns out the gobbo he killed was destined to be a pretty cool guy, womp you broke your oath.

Whenever a player tries to fuck with your setting with nonsense, the setting can fuck them with nonsense.

What do you mean? When a paladin falls, they either become an oathbreaker or pick another oath (possibly forgoing their oath features until they complete a quest), or become another class. That wouldn't necessarily make him a shitty fighter, but it could serve to reel his power back in.

Eh, allowing shields to benefit from the Dual Wielder feat isn't so bad since it's just +1 AC and NPCs do it too (see Fire Giant Dreadnought, Volo's Guide to Monsters page 147). However, allowing the AC bonus from more than one shield is definite blunder.

>New DM
>Don't know the fucking rules
>Yeah I should just homebrew some shit instead of choosing among the shit already made and balanced for retards like me
And you fucking made up a shit ton of spells that probably fuck with the action economy more than slow and haste already does.

What the fuck is with retards and homebrew? They can't seem to resist it.

It's funny to me that so many people have problems with shitty DnD players and often find themselves stuck playing nothing but DnD. It's the opposite for me. My group wants to play everything BUT DnD. I appreciate that, but I'd also really like to play a good DnD game. I wouldn't care if the GM sits me down and tells me that I need to make some concessions for the sake of the game. I care more about the narrative side of it anyway.

Also, you inadvertently made the Paladin after a character from a shitty webcomic.

The player refused to choose between the stuff that is premade. I was trying to be nice and made one for him.

And yeah, I resent that decision. Homebrew should only happen when there are rules that don't make fucking sense, like running a mile being str since it is an athletics check, when it is more a con thing.

What? Who?

It's +1 on top of the +2 he's already getting from the shield anyways. Sure, it costs a feat, but I wouldn't let it fly at my table.

>NPCs do it too

Not a good justification, IMO. PCs and NPCs strictly don't follow the same design rules.

...

>new DM, utterly inexperienced
>running system you're unfamiliar with
>homebrewing on top of this
>players already experienced with system
>one player is an autistic powergamer

End the campaign, you spineless retard.

>It's +1 on top of the +2 he's already getting from the shield anyways.
I know, but it doesn't seem like a big deal to me.
>Sure, it costs a feat, but I wouldn't let it fly at my table.
That's fine. I thought it would be fun with the right group. I know OP might the last group to be the right group, though.
>Not a good justification, IMO. PCs and NPCs strictly don't follow the same design rules.
I know, but I thought it was interesting to note.

>>players already experienced with system
nah, its their first time too. That paladin took three sessions to learn to roll to hit before damage.

>I was trying to be nice

FOOL

Just deal with them

Fair enough. Can never tell exactly what kind of person I'm dealing with in these threads, which is why I mentioned the NPC/PC stuff.

Cheers mate.

>I shall use my newfound power for the greater good of all races.

Him killing anything breaks his Oath. Problem solved.

Gotta break a few eggs to make an omelette. He can kill, just not needlessly.

Why did you homebrew something without properly understanding the rules first?
Your situation is basically entirely your own doing.

Autistic powergamers must have their spirits broken and their egos whipped into submission. Tabletop *roleplaying* sessions aren't supposed to be "won" by ruthlessly exploiting the fuzzy rules until you can fistfuck primordials. If your player is powergaming, you either calmly explain to them that you, as GM, disapprove of powergaming, or (in classical Veeky Forums fashion) you use the rules and your power as GM to humiliate them and slay their characters in gruesome ways.

>greater good

THIS IS THE KEY! All the GM need do is set up an Omelas trap, then sit back and watch as the autist (driven by his mechanical thought process) inevitably chooses the well being of the collective over the horror faced by an innocent individual. Wham, bam, thank you mam, paladin falls.

Stop catering to powergamers. Just tell them no. It’s the only way to deal with such problem players.

>I was like, fine, I can balance against this, until he reads through the feat list for the first time and realizes that he can take two shields, get shield master, get heavy armor master and munchkin his way to getting shields to be weapons so that he can take dual wielder and get, with +1 shields and plate armor, defensive style for his paladin AND shield of faith,
>18+3+3+1+1+2=28 AC, -3 reduction to physical damage and +6 to dex saves on 12th level.
You can't effectively use two shields. That's stupid. I don't care what the rules say. I also think a shield would be an awkward primary weapon. I know you can do some real damage with a shield, but if all you had was a shield, it would be pretty limiting. So I'd definitely give people a penalty if they weren't using the shield in combo with something else. Also, I'm not sure that you should get a defensive bonus from a shield the round you use it as a weapon. Normally, it's not worth the trouble of constantly modifying your AC, but it's different if it's done constantly. I don't have more than a passing familiarity with 5e, but you're the guy in charge, and it's up to you to make a reality that makes sense according to the situation.

The thing you need to do is talk to your players about the problems you're having and devise a solution.

>New DM
>Don't know the fucking rules
>Yeah I should just homebrew some shit instead of choosing among the shit already made and balanced for retards like me
I'm actually okay with people learning what works through trial and error, even if it inevitably means they're gonna fuck shit up pretty badly from time to time. The real problem here is not being able to undo things when necessary. If you don't have a dynamic where that's possible, then you shouldn't be changing things. It's not a bad idea to tell people ahead of time that you may need to tweak things down the road, and if you give people homebrew shit, to let them know it's on a provisional basis only

Throw stuff that's even tankier than the paladin at him. In fact, have him fight something with even more AC and hitpoints and similar damage, on his own in a one on one fight.

Three hours later he'll have learned how shit his build is.