I want to roll to build [x thing that abuses a loophole in the game rules and doesnt exist for a reason]

>Insert Not!SpaceMarines created by our friend the Lich
>laugh as you make your grognard die from .75 rounds exploding piece after piece of his shitty alchemist minmaxed character

>let them invent gunpowder
>give them the musket rules in the dungeon master's guide
>DMG musket has 40ft short, 120ft long range
>longbow has 150ft short, 600ft long range
>his expensive army defeated by scouts

No, no, subtler.

I just tell him the guns were a staple of the setting for a hundred years.

Then I savor every moment of light fading from his eyes.

The last nail in the coffin? Because of MAGIC and SUPERHUMAN FIGHTER PROWESS guns aren't necessarily autowin button against swords.

>make it have a 20-40% chance of failure to fire
>make reloading 3 turns
>5% chance of exploding if he never takes care of it
>laugh as he kills each and every one of his characters to try to prove a point

I hope that's reflected in the rules. If a generic npc soldier with a bow/sword would still lose almost every time against an equally trained musketeer then you're doing something wrong.

Unless it's one of those settings where the superhumans and wizards are the only folk who matter and armies are just cannon fodder.

makes me wonder how gunpowder would actually hold up in a magical setting
>"milord, I've made a new weapon!"
>"no, milord, it doesn't hurt as much as the mage's firebolt"
>"no milord, it doesn't have quite the range of the longbow"
>"yes yes, it might explode if it's improperly made but"
>"no milord, it takes about a minute to reload"
>"b-b-but it could progress!"

It's around Shadowrun power level except magic isn't Exclysive Jerkoff Club.

>gunpowder
>laughingsoulgemminers.scroll

One of my players wanted to implement a socialist utopia in our Kingmaker game. I explicitly him told that I will drown his kingdom in shit and blood if he kept trying.

It'd probably still gain traction because archers and wizards take a lifetime to train but you can teach a peasant to hold a gun in a week.

That was a driving force behind guns being adopted even when bows were still superior.

I just want to play a con-man, but I'm forever DM

>It'd probably still gain traction because archers and wizards take a lifetime to train but you can teach a peasant to hold a gun in a week.

This assumes that you can convince someone to build enough guns to arm a regiment BEFORE the army with bows arrives.

Con-men are fun, but the only thing more annoying than a player who always tries outrageous;y stupid shit is a DM who automatically makes every NPC suspicious of a player lie, as if every peasant has the inclination to play 20 Questions with everything the DM knows isn't true

Well the viability of guns depends on how common Magic is and how strong it is.
Guns are just smaller cannons, and cannons only came around as a good way to punch through castles.
Stone shape is a 3rd level spell in dnd, if you have enough people that can cast it all Castles would fall. That would also make castles less useful, like how they were in real life with cannons, and make them far less common.
So with strong enough magic castles would be less common, cannons wouldnt have had a use and been abandoned or extremely niche, firearms wouldnt have came into use due to no cannons, plate armour would be rare due to no guns.

>plate armour would be rare due to no guns.
Plate armour was dropped when guns started to get popular because they were expensive, but useless to bullets
Losing the advent of firearms would result in more plate, not less

That's not true at all you retard, plate armor came after firearms and most rounds weren't going to penetrate the armor BECAUSE it was brought on for that specific purpose. Veeky Forums sure does like to parade their ignorance around.

What the fuck are you talking about?
Full-plate armour came into full swing during the Hundred Years War. Are you going seriously to tell me the Genoese were secretly packing muskets?

Plate armour by-and-large stopped being used by the 16th century (the start of the Renaissance, when everyone started using guns), fucking 200-300 years later.

Ah, I see you are a man of taste.

So, in your mind guns shouldn't have progressed in real life either?

should i consider visiting a doctor when seeing gun-spears/lances give me a rock hard erection?

Not him but are you just not up to that grade in high school where they teach you medieval history?
Muskets were famous for their ability to pierce plate at greater ranges than anything else. It's what allowed common jobbers to five dollar murder noble knights in million dollar plate, so people stopped using plate

>muskets were the first guns in Europe

You're not saying plate was there to stop cannons, right?

>it's another eastern euro shitter and his broken english

What, exactly, was he trying to do? I agree socialism would be dumb to try in a kingdom, but what did he suggest that posses you off so much.

Some people really fell hard for the anti-communism propaganda (I mean its not wrong, socialism ruins nations) and therefor get REALLY triggered by even the hint of socialism.

>"you want to pave the roads with your own coin?! Get out of my fucking table reeeee-!"

Not him, but can you please explain to ESL what is wrong with his sentence?

Nothing is wrong with it when you understand what he's actually saying. But since the word "plate" has been used like 10 different times in this conversation it can be hard to readjust yourself to that particular use of it. It doesn't work for a tectonic plate, or a plate of iron, but for plate armor it's correct, and he meant plate armor.

The Holodomor killed more than the Holocaust.

>game set in the past
>PCs have modern views on democracy, slavery, gender roles, gay rights, etc.
>player doesn't even try to argue their case beyond saying that the NPCs are obviously wrong and bad
>player calls me a bigot when Detect/Smite Evil doesn't ping on everyone they disagree with
How do I keep retards our of my games?

I can't tell if this is bait, but in case it's not...
Don't let That Guy play paladins anymore dumbass.

oh god this
In the VtM dark ages game I'm in, we have a player arguing for transgender recognition and prefered pronouns.
Gonna turn that bitch into a vohzd if they keep this shit up, it's fucking wrecking my immersion.

don't see why this is a problem. violating the Masquerade etc.

If it's true, it isn't "propaganda." It's education.

What's playing Tengu Banjo Zimbabwe like?

He'll just prescribe you daily Monster Hunter supplements.

Peasants being suspicious of mercenaries is not unreasonable at all. If an obvious huckster from a group of armed strangers from a foreign land wandered into my yard I would be pretty brisk with my questions too.

Propaganda isn't the same ass untrue. Propaganda means more weighted message or biased education.

Americas anti-russian campaign might've been true but its still propaganda

18 seconds might be a little long if you are skilled with a musket. When I was a civil war artilleryman we shot a cannon twice in a minute, and that requires 6 people working together to do it.

Ballistic shields are a thing that exists yes

It's a lovechild of classic japanese kabuki theater, 80s-90s anime (masamune Shirow in particular) and cyberpunk.

Somewhere in there a LOT of cocaine was involved.

I tell my player no, because i don't wan't to narrate a story that has X.

Or if X is pretty fucking rad and the rest of the on board with it i greenlight it and work out a way for it to work with the group without breaking the game..

ya know, sozial skillz.

No, it's perfectly normal.

Might I interest you in a rocket hammer (which really is just a jet engine strapped to a hammer)?

That's why cannons as siege weapons gained popularity before handheld firearms.
> I made a weapon that can shoot stone balls with power of Force Lance spell and can be operated by several peasants!
> Also, one shot is cheaper than a scroll.
> You don't need any magical gift to manufacture it

Good to know.

Nah man, i just don't swing this way, nothing wrong with them but they just dont DO anything for me.
Also, godking gunlance coming through

>Nah man, i just don't swing this way
ha.

>Gunlance
A fellow man of culture, I see.

...

>"but it's easy to make and I put points in the chemistry skill!"
>does not put point into divine patron or death ray immunity or even defensive atheism
>does not ask what happened to alchemists that tried it before him or if there were any
>assumes it is such an original idea that totally nobody had thought of
>complains when character discovers gunpowder and is obliterated by a multi-smite from the god of war over upsetting the status quo and the god of fire for blasphemy
What did he mean by this?

Coffeelock

knowing that this shit is never actually explained makes me so happy

for real though how do you fix this

I mean, some circumstances might let a character in that setting be against slavery and some gender roles, but some of it is stupid, like transgender stuff. just buy a gender potion, you retards, you don't need that conversation in fantasy settings

This. I let one player have a gun because he really wanted it, and everyone gave the ok, and it was a blast. We basically played Dark Tower in some regards, with a certain hidden branch of knights being the only ones allowed to carry pistols, and he had to undergo a trial to join the elusive order of the burning chamber. Shit was cash and he seemed to appreciate us all working together to make lore and people within his group

If anything gunpowder or a gunpowder equivalent would be much easier to invent in a world with magic. There are so many more things that explode and so many more ways to control explosions.

I've worked with another player to build a gun in a setting, with work from the DM who allowed it. There was no gunpowder, so it worked off Explosive Runes and a wand of Erase.

As a DM, I allow them, somewhat. A musket is uncommon and gunpowder/blackpowder isn't widely found. It's more useful for siege weapons, as it's vulnerable to fire/water magic and the weapons are usually very heavy. Unique materials do make fun weapons to build with though.

>D&D
>want to play a Fighter that wields a Pike
>but they wield it the way a ballet dancer would wield a baton
>A Finesse Pike is very understandably and obviously a bad idea

just ask if you can make it a finesse weapon but drop the damage dice down a tier. My own DM let me make a katana, D6 damage, finesse, versatile D8, basing it off the longsword. Mainly for use with a longbow. That doesn't sound too bad, does it?

And if you have any law enforcement characters in the group, there's a fair chance they could get their hands on a ballistic shield.

The game does strive for realism in most other ways.

You realize modern armies don’t use bows right?

user, just say what you want to say instead of asking stupid questions.

Having over 20AC

>I'd like to join the army
>But your character is a girl (also the player)
>I thought maybe your world wasn't sexist
>...you could at least RP cutting your hair and dressing up
>Why would I have to do that?

>Game is set in past
>So I can live out my fantasies about when white dudes ruled the world unchallenged and never had to think about anyone who wasn't like them

21 AC is not that hard in 5e. Plate is 18 AC, + 1 AC Armor bonus from the armor weapon ability Fighter/Paladin gets, and +2 from a shield.

You see user, the fun thing about armies is that if you play them right, they will take any warm body(unless they're cool with Necromancy) that wants to volunteer
Yet treats everyone the same. Chopped hair, PT and weapons training is the same. for. everyone.
You can do magic? HAVE FUN IN THE WAR MAGIC ACADEMY!
You a sneaky bloke? RANGER SCHOOL IS THAT-A-WAY!
The gods speak to you and you can channel their energy?MORE PT AND WEAPONS TRAINING, AND NOW YOU GET TO FIX YOUR REGIMENT AND DELIVER SERMONS!
You insulted someone so badly they nearly died?GET THIS MAN A BANNER AND A VERY VISIBLE POSITION.

...

Yeah, and on the other side is the successful white guys who can just throw around terms like "Sex-positive," and "Polyamorous," and "Heteroflexible" So they can fuck any girl they want.
Ever wondered why every open relationship ever is the guy wuth two extra girlfriends and the girl is still single and alone but has a dating profile?

>Ever wondered why every open relationship ever is the guy wuth two extra girlfriends
HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHA holy shit you are so deluded. open relationships are 99% "girl fucking 16 different guys who have to schedule a day to get a halfhearted blowjob" and 1% "dude fucking two ugly girls".

Jeez, just give it its in game weaknesses
>can't shoot while extended
>slow as fuck while extended
>only protected from one direction
>takes an action to deploy/collapse

Montagne could absolutely play in my game

>fantasy army
>caring about whether a woman is a soldier or not

Who cares if she doesn't have any balls if she can swing a sword as good as the next guy (and the mechanics reflect this). Hell, having no balls just makes her more resistant to getting kicked in the groin!

Offer not good in games with -4 STR.

That he had the worst gm to exist.

World of Darkness has a few:
>Vampire with True Magick
>Non-Tremere with Thaumaturgy for no reason
>wanting to play a random Fera in a Werewolf the Apocalypse campaign, especially one that hates Werewolves
>Homid Red Talon

The all-time AD&D shitpost was using a Wish spell to Wish for infinite Wishes.

>letting a girl play in your campaign in the first palce

That post is entirely bullshit.
>"imPROOV yourself"
Also "white dudes" won the world fair and square. Sorry you're butthurt about it.

Only in areas with large numbers of Mages and firebolt spells, obviously. You know, like Swansea.

I can only echo what >58043582 wrote - what was it that the player tried to do? There are rules for the actions the PCs can do as leaders of the kingdom (in Kingmaker and in an updated, slightly less broken variant in Ultimate Campaign) so we can use them to judge if his ideas were sound or not.

Have you tried gently reminding the players that this might be the status quo, even if they disagree?

Have you tried accepting that the PC's will always be above average and not normal citizens, because if they were they wouldn't be adventuring in the 16th fucking century?

Also, have you considered that being vampires means you can do whatever the fuck you want and the mores and morays of society can go hang?

You all need to chill.

>who was Joan of Arc, anyway?

"Bulletproof" is a misnomer, though. Anything will eventually warp and break if you shoot it enough.

Image saved. I will certainly need that in /wodg/.

Incorrect. I helped out in an open relationship by plowing the girl and giving her multiples while her boyf was still going to bars and going home alone, masturbating bitterly in the dark while she came until she cried. He couldn't stand to be in the room, though, because I hung about twice as low as him. We gave him a pity threesome and he couldn't keep it up.

True, a simple circumstance was a character of mine in an RPG set in Classical Greece. He was an escaped Helot slave from Sparta... although he was more concerned with never becoming a slave again than in the plight of other slaves.

>Also "white dudes" won the world fair and square. Sorry you're butthurt about it.

And now you're losing it. Sorry you're butthurt about that. Maybe you'll need to be qualified now instead of just offering handjobs at the Masonic Lodge?

None of these abuse a loophole in the game rules or makes a character overpowered.
> Vampire with True Magick
Impossible if it's not Lilith and, may be Cain. A mage turned vampire will lose his magic. Will get thaumaturgy in exchange at best, nothing but 3 points of clan disciplines at worst.
> Non-Tremere with Thaumaturgy for no reason
Must take social flaws and an entire Tremere clan as enemies if he is not a Sabbat and, preferably, Tzimische, or an Assamite.
>wanting to play a random Fera in a Werewolf the Apocalypse campaign, especially one that hates Werewolves
Not inherently game-breaking. Party-breaking - perhaps.
> Homid Red Talon
Not inherently game breaking either, just canon-breakling.

You don't know shit about transgender stuff throughout history, obviously. It's been around as long as gender roles have, and other cultures have more than two genders.

You're just a sheltered white boy from the suburbs, and that's okay. I might roleplay a pathetic incel in your honour.... if I can get my head around the chronic entitlement issues.

(You) seem to have dropped your nit. Here, pick another.

You wouldn't have to. He would be the one drowning his own kingdom in shit and blood--mostly blood instituting his beautiful worker's paradise.

Just have his ever so slightly better off serfs refuse to help because damnit, they worked hard for generations to get to lay their heads on a pillow of maggots instead of a pillow of stone! You can call them kulacs or anti-revolutionaries, or something.

Then have his worse off peasants offer to kill the ones who refuse to cooperate. Let the genocidal socialist utopia commence!

>Maybe you'll need to be qualified now instead of just offering handjobs at the Masonic Lodge?

Wait, what does that second one get me? I'm living walking distance from a Lodge.

Get out to all of you, may be start discussing tabletop games there instead of discussing politics here?

> Let her join
> If she gets captured, she's sold into slavery
> If she gets wounded, describe it in the most gruesome ways
> Generally, describe the horrors of war to her.
> Dirt, fleas, plague, hunger, corpses, walking corpses, occasional rape in the background, a grizzled warrior NPC and his two ugly as hell friends giving her lusty looks