How do I convince my girlfriend to wear elf ears?

>my girlfriend

How do I convince my boyfriend to wear an orc dick?

Cut his human one.

Don't, he might get upset.

Who is she? Tell me about the drama and the undoubtedly self-damaging incidents she's provoked. Feed my appetite for conflict.

>wear elf ears
>wear

Fucking casuals

Stitches are hot, wish she had another one on her face.

Nigger, you'd better be a homo.

First of all you need to get a gf

arrange for him to get a test ride on one, surely that will make him understand the appeal

and what if he gets stolen by that dick?

How do I convince my girlfriend to cosplay as the flavor of the month hot anime girl each month?

Hope she likes frostbite.

Get yourself a cute boy who does and threaten your girlfriend with swapping them.

then you gotta fuck the one who fucked your husband and make him your bitch and thus uncuck yourself

does it mean you have to fuck yourself each time you fuck your husband to prevent yourself from being cucked by yourself

Elf ears look dumb on a butterface

>Get a girlfriend who's kinky and likes anime
>Pay for everything
>Act out whatever fantasies she wants in return

everything looks dumb on a butterface, maybe except burlap sack

>Hey [femanon] put these on.
>Because it's cute shut up.

perfect elfable material.

>still single post-valentines day
>even if I did get a girlfriend I'd still have the issue of being a total sperg
>would barely have the confidence to get into roleplay
>chances of her getting some nice Alien cosplay are next to nil as it is
>Again, still single
Absolute suffering when I think about it too much

>braces
I didn't know she (male (female)) could get even better.

yes

A lot of it is faking it dude. Fake it till you make it works wonders on getting the confidence. Don't rush it, but think of it like playing a character honestly. Just a slight change, but the more you fake it, the more easily it comes naturally.

>No [user], you put these on and bend over. I'll get my spider dildo and make you beg Lolth for mercy, you disgusting surface dweller!

>I mean okay but I've got the green apple sputters today so don't say I didn't warn you.

>spider dildo
How has BD not made one yet?

That design doesn't look possible to use on a human.

fpbp

First you have to actually get a real girlfriend.

So an elf then?

Fuck you!

That's what they said about 14 inch tentacle dildos, and look where we are now.

They have ovipositors though
>ywn impregnate your elf boyfriend and lock him inside your dungeon, tethered to a wall by silky webbing, forced to watch as his gut slowly gets bigger and rounder and more sensitive as the eggs mature

>got my ex to wear vampire teeth and bite my cock
You are a lucky man.

Some underage lesbo.

I just can't get into flabbyness. It's gotten worse over the years too, I even left a girl when she stopped working out.

You don't. Elf ears or any such bullshit has a high chance of leading to cosplay, and that's pure degeneracy.

>shadman

>my girlfriend

You're asking about girlfriends? On Veeky Forums?

please explain to me how that girl is considered fat, I'm very interested in your thought process

Just rape her

Hard to get a date as a skeleton.

You'd be surprised how many of us managed to reach stable relationship. And I'm not talking just /mlp/ cross-posters.

flabby, not fat. I mean the lack of definition.

can't unsee

>Get a girlfriend who's kinky and likes anime
Your plan was dead on arrival.

Most of us who actually have groups (I mean actual groups, not a bunch of roll20 subhumans that falls apart after 3 sessions) have functioning social lives. We've always been one of the more socially functional boards, outside of the KVH NEET turboautists who come from other boards to shit up this one

He didn't say "supermodel hot". There are kinky girls who like anime and wouldn't mind user bf.

>falling for 3DPD

I did, and she'll wear anything I want in bed if it makes me happy. If you can't manage it, the problem is you, because I'm not Grognard Casanova by any stretch of the imagination

You shut your whore mouth. You can’t make an 8/10 for me into a boner kill in the span of one shitpost.

This is like Anzi all over again.

True, but those girls can't cosplay as cute anime girls convincingly.

Problem is girls that will look cute in cosplay are either taken or lesbos.

/d/ has one of the highest rates of normal functioning adults and Veeky Forums is just /d/ with dice (or was before the recent wave of pride fashion).

serious answer that will work: offer to give her oral in return
source: a girl

Dudes are up for anything, just ask him ffs.

Are there seriously men out there that don't enjoy chowing on clam?

Also: You know the rules, never bring up your gender unless you also post tits dude

>I want thing
>You can have thing
>No, no, you don't understand, I only want thing if it fits the impossibly high standards I set myself to justify not trying in the first place
Every fucking time with you people
I've yet to run into a relationship problem that can't be solved with either frank discussion or cunnilingus

Thai Cuisine lol

>Are there seriously men out there that don't enjoy chowing on clam?
No men, only fags

But I want her to wear the ears non-sexually. Why are women so lewd and can't accept that some guys are asexuals romantically interested in elves?

Veeky Forums

Now now user, you shouldn't call people out on having impossible standards.

After all, everyone knows that the more attractive you are, the more fun you are to be around and the better you are at sex.

What's the image from?

>Are there seriously men out there that don't enjoy chowing on clam?
being willing to eat pussy gives a leg up on 80% of the dating pool

What about giving oral to a girl (male)

Honestly, just make she washes down there. Nothing is worse than pussy stank, except maybe ass stank. At least ass stank I'm used to from my own body.

Interesting. Never talked about this with my male friends, but those stats would be comparable to the amount of women willing to succ, which is a dealbreaker for many dudes I know.

I girfriend of mine once stated "Seriously, what do you prefer? Me accepting you're right or having sex?"
Best case of weaponized sex... although I was... miffed.

Most people love getting Oral but not really giving it.

I happen to belong to that group, but I'm also aware enough to realize that if I'm not willing to do it, maybe I shouldn't be asking for it either.

Only time I was ever put in front of that choice I asked her to pack her shit and proceeded to date her best friend. One of my few proud memories of being a man.

Early edition of World of Darkness - before they started taking themselves serious.

...

Please tell me it has a dick

...

It can gave anything you want in a game of pretend

Is it really 80%? I'd believe it if we were talking high school and college kids but that seems a bit high from my experience
I know this is Veeky Forums, but that's not the sort of LARPing we're about

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I prefer giving than receiving
Maybe that's because my last gf was bad at it

...

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>I know this is Veeky Forums, but that's not the sort of LARPing we're about
Believe it or not, that's what I did. I regretted saying it in the moment, but I was really mad and didn't want to back down so that's where it ended. It was high school days though, so relationships came and went at a much faster rate than they do now that I am in my thirties.

Too much teeth? Even the ones I told to use less were still too toothy and I can't fathom why.

Early...? 3e was WW's high point and golden era as a solvable company.

scribd.com/doc/98715756/Subsidiaries-A-Guide-to-Pentex

user... that's not a girl.

I can't tell whether I don't like blowjobs, or if I've just never been with someone who was good at them

...

More like not enough succ and licc

Uh, bro, if you have to _ask_ her to wash... Maybe you should go out a little more, or radically change your social circles.

If your boner is dead, ask to borrow Anzi's.

I'm not gonna believe that without any proofs.