My character is a master schemer only out for himself

this is why I only play pathfinder. You can make any character viable in it.

hahahahha, now fuck off with this pedantic shit

What's the difference between Pathfinder and 3.5 anyway

Yeah, I can't wait for him to keep fucking over the party until they get sick of it and drop the game.

theres huge differences you retard, cmb and cmd for one.

Monks can't (or couldn't, stopped following years ago) do complicated weaboo magic shit in PFbecause SKR and others "tried to do monk shit" and couldn't, so it's unrealistic

>My character is a master schemer out to make the world a better place working behind the scenes
I wish there were more games that let me play good guy Illuminati.

>Monks cant do Monk things because it's unrealistic
>But Casters can do Caster things even though they can't do magic IRL either.

What if he's intelligently stupid?

It was something along the lines of
>be fat, old guy
>work in PF design
>enjoy multiple cocks a day
>try to justify monks being shit
>"uh duh I tried to do some sleight of hand shit and couldn't"
>so monks, peak physical specimens of their respective races, in a fantasy world with magic and gods and shit cannot do it either, period
>load "caster murderrapes a city.avi"
>fap multiple times

>my character is a master schemer only out for other people

>My 18 Dex 8 Strength optimized Fighter has a six pack and very defined athletic figure

I feel like an actual master schemer wouldn't announce that to the world. I mean, what sort of idiot would trust you after you tell them not to trust you?

fpbp

I have to yet met a player who actually can pull a schemer, rather than failing miserably at it.
Said that, I did met few players that were just amazing at hustle and cons, despite explicitly NOT playing as con artists. But never met someone with "schemer" PC that was capable of pulling that.

Ever heard about reverse psychology?
Said that, there is but a handful of situations where pulling Mr Charles makes any sort of sense and most of them involves torture, so I hope you/your PC are pain-resistant to make that work.

>''My character is a kobold/Goblin who is obsessed with shiny things''
>''he also only speaks broken common''

Sounds like ottermode to me

What class?

Rogue. Also he steals from the party.

>My character is a master schemer only out for himself.
>Why is he traveling with this party of idiots?
>,,,

>My character is an amateur schemer out for everyone else.

One of my players names all his characters count cockula and they are always iffeminate Victorian goths

I once played with a guy who named his bard Edward Fartington. He was 24 and the oldest person in the group at the time.

I wish I were just shitposting.

If he were' you'd not be saying this.

Wrong. Int. only allows you to know more and be better at magic, Cha. only allows you to be more attractive and polite. If you are an educated well-read idiot, you are still an idiot. If you are a cute and polite asshole, you are still an asshole.

> Also he steals from the party.
Unacceptable. The rest is OK.

>my character is a half-elf rogue who lost both his parents and learned to look out for himself at a young age

I've seen this. Maybe 10 hours ago
>goblin (female)
>Shortstack image
>Barbarian. Bare thighs. single loli tit-strap
>player angerly denies any lewd reason for pitching a half-naked little goblin girl
pic related. What he pitched

good luck trying to play a character smarter than you

Thanks for the cool NPC, I’ll enjoy using him against the party.

Now roll someone who’s willing to work together and pick up the fucking dice.

fucking kek

Teehee Maccaroni is the bane of my fucking existence.

Every fucking campaign that my GM runs inevitably at some point involves running into an NPC named "Teehee Maccaroni," who the GM affectionately describes as "an epic level sorcerer who's also a retarded nudist gnome."

Teehee Maccaroni wander the countryside with a unique Rod of Wonders powered by "retard magic" shoved up his anus, and he casts the Rod of Wonders by diddling his penis. He says nothing but his own name in different inflections and the phrase "I like-a the goodberry, gimme gimme the goodberry." The GM thinks it's hilarious to have this character show up during the middle of encounters we're struggling at and start jerking off magic everywhere.

But the worst part is his chant. He wanders around chanting his name, so when he's about to show up the GM will start low;
>Tee-hee-hee, Maccaroni Maccaroni
>Tee-hee-hee, Maccaroni Maccaroni
And then get louder and louder until he's fucking shouting
>TEE HEE HEE, MACCARONI MACCARONI!
>TEE HEE HEE, MACCARONI MACCARONI!

And the table loves it! The other guys I play with think this is the best shit! Teehee Maccaroni has been our table's de-facto inside joke, our signature "running gag" for six years now. When that chant starts up, everyone else joins in like a ritual; the whole table is expected to start chanting "TEE HEE HEE, MACCARONI MACCARONI" by the end, and every fucking time I refuse because this is some embarrassing circa-2002 Penguin of Doom shit, it's always the same thing; "There goes user again! No fun allowed around user! user's just a big grouch who's getting angry because we're making him touch Teehee Maccaroni's penis again! Why won't you just let us have fun with this character, he's just here for dumb fun, you stick-in-the mud!"

These motherfuckers are all over 25 years old.

Teehee Maccaroni is going to be the death of me.

Nice pasta.

No pun intended.

>Shanshah
>The Virgin Bailish

The visible mouth-anus in that frog's mouth is disturbing to me for some reason.

You. You are a nigga's nigga.

So is everyone else besides the Malkavian - that one's just weird. Now sit down and play.

You forgot the Nossie who has actual loyalty to his clan and wants to advance the condition of his fellows. Which is honestly weirder than the crazy fucker, but whatever.

How can it be shortstack if she's not even stacked? I mean, that means she's just short. Which all goblins are.

Looks more like a cervix to me user
no wonder chimpanzees and other primates use them as fleshlights; hentai womb action

>Shortstack
That goblin is not.

>Play a character with absurdly useful superpowers in a supers game
>Most useful fuckin' power ends up being entirely mundane common sense
This bitch makes bathtub SEMTEX on the weekends and she's still the most rational member of the party.

i only just encountered the word "shortstack", and don't give a shit about your use of it.

i support your irritation with the creepy dude. there are plenty of non-lewd goblinettes he could have used.

It was whether or not a weapon chain should let a disarmed person regain their weapon with a move action or a standard action. The dev in question tied a mouse to his wrist with the cord and spent half an hour trying to flip it into his hand using it and used the fact that he had trouble doing it to justify it being a standard action.

I can't tell if you're making a joke about OP's picture or not, but I chuckled anyways.

>spoiler
Does that seriously happen? I know primates do some crazy shit but that's new to me.

That's correct. I expect the nigga was passively jerking it to his little QT greenskin gf

It was actually a fucking joke, that shouldn't be taken seriously. They nerfed it from a swift to a move for "balance" reasons.

If only combat maneuvers were viable and that system saw any use.

That's literally the standard backstory for your average rogue, what's your problem?

Unironically playing a character like this.
The twist is that his best interests involve keeping the rest of the party alive and he's the only one in the group who doesn't butt heads with anyone else.