So, your warrior draws his big ass sword

and gets read to fight, and the opponent makes the exact taunt that you knew was coming.
>Nice sword. Compensating for something?
What's your best comeback?

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youtube.com/watch?v=ERJ_neu1QaU
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>Why don't you ask your mom?

>The challenge.

>No, I just use a large sword to force myself to hold back. If I used a regular sized one, you'd be dead before you even opened your mouth.

>Sometimes a sword is just a sword, even when I'm smacking you in the face with it.
Or
>Freud was a hack.

Not compensating, counterbalancing.

Yes

First post, best post.

I thrust my sword into him, vigorously penetrating his body over and over until the deed is done.

Then later, I lament that I still have a small penis and no amount of killing ever makes me feel better about it.

I liked this one.

nice.

>"Yes, actually"
>Stab the bastard, and draw him in a close embrace with the proper shit-eating grin
>"But no-one will ever know"

Lol

"Yeah, l'esprit de l'escalier. I suck at banter, can never think of a good line until the fight's over. But as long as I carry this thing, everyone 'witty' I fight makes the Exact. Same. Joke."

What if my warrior is a girl?

>I'm not used to handling small things

>"How very Astute of you"
>Rips off chestplate, reveal bounteous oversized boobage that could only belong to a female Barbarian
>"I am Patricia of the Penis-Envy, Phallic Phalanx Destroyer, Wielder of the mighty Dildonicus, and raider of men's asses. Prepare to get raped."
>And then I reveal my large sword's true form, pic-related.
>After the battle I go home to my lesbian girlfriend Satsuki Kiryuin who doesn't afraid of anything and has beautiful eyebrows.

These two are pretty great.

The question stands

See

Weak allies.

You want a moment to think up some better last words, friend? I can wait.

But user, girls don't have usual, uh, "compensatey" parts.

Unless she's short and flat

Yes. Short arms.

truly no force greater than womanlet's anger.

*brandishes blade*
*tips fedora*
heh nothin personnel kidd

>What's your best comeback?

Kill him.

Only a fool cares for the opinions of dead men.

Don't need a comeback when he's dead

Wanna find out?
>unzips dick

I'm pretty sure that's actually a sounding rod, meaning it's only a few inches at best

An attack roll.

>If my sword were to my manhood, I would fight with a needle, & you would still disappoint women

>Your hat is like your manhood, limp & lacking flair

>My sword is large because it fits the large sheath. Much the same reason for laying with your mother

>Were I a charitable man I would allow that comment to pass unchallenged, but seeing as you much make such claims, I shall instead fight with my manhood instead & stamp my mark upon you

Im not compensating, its just a coincidence

Heh heh heh heh heh. Nope.

Only clever ones in the thread
The rest of you are just showing off your power level

This one is wrapped in enough irony to be funny

"Your daughter is my scabbard."

Alternatively.

"I like when my scabbard's a tight fit."

Ask them to explain their joke, then just say "Oh".

Based answer.

>Could you please stop thinking of my dick?

>What's your best comeback?
No comeback. Past few sessions my fighter has had an immeasurably fantastic streak of luck in killing things by throwing his sword at them.

Are you a feminist?

Hit him with my sword while he is distracted by his own "wit". It's a fight so why waste time making pointless banter?

>I was told to never half ass anything whether it's pleasuring a woman or killing my enemies

>Not compensating...Just illustrating how wide your wife's vagina will be after I get through with her.

"Nice wound there. Bleeding out for some reason?"

youtube.com/watch?v=ERJ_neu1QaU

Even knowing this had to be ironic didn't stop me from cringing.

>Not everything is some Freudian nonsense, you worthless pseudo-intellectual

>swordlet can't defend himself verbally

>Damn, brought the little one again.

I've fucked with so many players who think their shit is clever doing this.

"I'd like to give the Queen my 'tribute', if you know what I mean"

>The minister seems confused and say he does not, in fact, understand your intent

"I mean, I want to show her my 'sword of vassalage', if you get me."

>He does not

"I WANT TO FUCK THE QUEEN"

>The minister still is somewhat unsure of what you're talking about and calls in several interpreters to try and discover if this is some regional dialect. One begins taking detailed notes.

>Phallic Phalanx Destroyer

I'm rubber and you're glue.

>My sharpshooter draws his big ass rifle

You're a literal cocksleeve and I'm often associated with horses?

fpbp

>"Okay, MAYBE, but see, I found this gnomish brothel, and they REALLY--"

They suddenly become a lot more interested in fighting at about that moment. Haven't figured out why yet.

No, it means that he recognizes that this is a duel between golems of differing construction materials and purposes, where is he, the rubber, has the purpose of things being bounced off of him and his enemy, the glue, being a designated "Things sticking to him" automaton, implying that the glue's insults simply have no mental effects on him while the glue golem himself is innately unable to let go of any taunts thrown his way due to being an adhesive. A poetic combat of differing idealogies and golemancy prowess of their creators.

>A person challenges you to a duel
>He pulls one of pic related out of a large back sheath
what do you do

Is he bald? This is important.

>Can I have one? I have this small piece of the last guy I fought stuck in the little gap between my sword and the hilt and I just can't it out and it's infuriating how it has started to smell just enough to notice it but not enough for me to abandon the sword.

It's not a tea cup so we're fine.

Women do.
They have a really tiny penis that doesn't even pee properly. They compensate harder than anyone.

>It isn't mine. I left my other sword in my other pants, so my buddy let me use his so I didn't have to go back home.

>blade was so small he left it in his other pants.
Is this why barbarians and Paladins use broadswords, bards use rapiers, and the rogue uses a dagger?

Wait let me just shift my junk.
Sorry what was it?
Repeat until he shifts his junk too

Any opponent that makes that sort of crack is a low level mook who has no idea how in over his head he is and can probably be taken out in one shot
So I'm just gonna go ahead and say kill or disable as the situation dictates without justifying his inane prattling with a response

>Are you?
No, it doesn't make much sense, but I kinda enjoy confusing people.
Alternatively...
>Care to find out?
or
>My feet aren't THAT small.

This thread is irrelevant to me because I'm a glaive battlemaster

You have a big pole

You have a 3 inch long head attached to a 2 inch stalk?

I'm a sheepfolk so this is the norm

>Your lack of faith.
>[Readies Stand]

the small ones always break when i use them.

>NO I'M NOT, you fucking moron

>I cast penis exchange

The thickness of your skull.

>[Angry Eversor Noises]

>I look at my sword curiously
>"An eleven pounder is not that uncommon amongst my people..."

>Smaller swords get stuck to easily

>I like to use my enemy's tactics- shows it's a matter of skill.

Reminds me of exchange I had with my roommate as he was describing how I had drunk half a whiskey bottle in the past, 'sucking it like a dick' in his terms.
My reply was,
>You would know how to suck a dick, wouldn't you?
He immediately replied with
>Well, I did learn from you.
Which I had to admit was pretty good. If I had been slightly more sober at the time, I might have been able to come up with a reply like
>I see the student has surpassed the teacher.

>*Drops Trousers*
>"Please user, stop staring at my over sized swords if you don't want to polish them... "

>tfw I have a big meaty clitoris

>Counterweight, actually

>ywn be healed

Works for dwarves. But what about elves?

Chopping him in half.

>nIcE sWoRd CoMpEnSaTiNg FoR sOmEtHiNg

More like his pants fit a sword in their pocket

>Yes, my small penis. The difference between us is, in a few minutes I'll still have my penis.

>Well I always bring the best tool for the job.

I'm sorry that even your biotitan of a clitoris can't hold up against the smallest micropenis, user.

And that is way big, billowy pantaloons are so beloved.

I'm imagining a barbarian in fluffy pantaloons
You did this to me user, you fix it

>"Yes, I do not carry a spear."

Then halfway through the fight

>"OH! You were thinking of my penis earlier. That is very strange..."

He'd then just constantly prod at why he was thinking of penis before the fight.

He's psedo-russian, so he doesn't understand most analogies and pulls his own weird ones out on the fly.

I dunno, maybe the guy who made it was? Found it in a ruin, but it's working pretty well so far.

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