Bonechilling Sentences

I would play with you, user.
Go ask around in your FLGS, they'll point you toward some DM for sure. People are understanding these days. D&D will help you out a whole lot, in more ways you think it will.

Id play with you too, user. As long as you follow basic hygeine, youre welcome at my table any time. Bring beer, we provide the food and the grass

>being this underage

Thanks for the encouragement. I tell myself many of the same things you say. I might just be feeling extra shitty because of the cold.

I'll have to figure out what FLGS is, and then try my luck with that. There is one local drop in group that plays DnD here. I have contacted them, but holy hell did my anxiety ramp up after that. I really need to get back to my doctor and see if he'll refill my prescription. They hate giving you any meds that actually work.

Hygiene is a challenge. However, I wouldn't dare go out in public without a shower. Your words do encourage me.

Thank you.

Thank you. Makes me feel better.

There is no hope. Everyone you play with will be unbearable socially or worse, a modern day flake who can't make a meeting to save their life.
>Text: Hey, we're all waiting for you
>0 replies

more like bloodboiling, user

wtf is wrong with your wife

>”So DM is on his second date with a girl tonight.”

I do not understand why this is so common. Would you schedule something on the day your bowling club meets up, or during baseball practice? These are all group based activities, schedule your dates on another night.

Like, anniversaries, holidays, birthdays, I get all that. Those are perfectly valid reasons to miss a session. But why the fuck not ask the girl if she's down for dinner the *next* fucking day?

>wife
Piss off alpha-chad

I don't want to believe this is someone's life.
Holy fucking shit I am so well off I am so well off.
You have made me thankful for all I have user.

>treat son like dirt
>wonder why he ends up a fucking wreck
boomer parenting everyone

>tfw my mom finds it admirable and she works in a Veeky Forums-related field
Feels good to have cool hipster parents.

>Manchild
>NEET
>No friends
>Wife
Tell me your secrets oh wise one

Explain to your mother that it's a form of socialization and yes, some people who play it are single. Some GIRLS who play it are single.

Just be born rich faggot

The best part is that he obviously messaged no one and his roommate just knew.

How many husband points did you have to spend on it?

>twf when was mostly raised by literature&theater geek grandma and nerdy engineer granddad
>twf when they encouraged me playing MtG and other tabletop with equally nerdy friends, as long as I kept performing well in school
>twf when grandma is delighted to hear what that 'D&D' thing is (only explained it 9 years into the hobby, myself already a married adult)
>twf she's now trying to convince me to do convention/public games and DM for money

They're kinda weird, sure, but they're so much better than my 'you shouldn't spend time on anything not earning you money' mom or 'your hobbies are weird and childish' mother-in-law.

twf?

*tfw
Dang it. Copy-pasting abbreviations without checking is a dumb move.

Your DM is a nigger.
>t. GM who runs games Saturday night and Friday night and thus misses the two prime nights for dates, even flaking off a friends offer to set you up with someone because you didn't want to spend 30 bucks meeting some bitch you probably won't even like anyway, whereas d&d is usually guaranteed fun, and if not, at least it's free

Your wife's social events are her fucking someone more alpha than you. You got that illness from another man. LOL

>Explain to your mother that it's a form of socialization and yes, some people who play it are single. Some GIRLS who play it are single.
Gotta be honest man, no one is getting laid because of DnD. The chances of finding someone that is:

> a Girl that plays DnD
> single
> fuckable
> Wants to fuck anyone who plays DnD

are basically none. Been playing this shit my entire life and that is my opinion. But again, playing DnD don't stop you from getting chicks in other regular situations, such as meeting them at clubs, bar, parks, wherever. Unless one spend his entire time playing with his fat nerd friends.

Also, personal advice: I like scheduling my group's sessions on monday because that is the day that is less likely for something to show up and get in the way of DnD. , if you play on Fridays, you are bound to have people missing sessions to do regular sociable stuff.

I don't know you, and I know it may not mean much coming from someone here, but I hope things get better for you. Stay strong, user.

> Invite crush to hang out with me and a few friends
> Friends mention rpg
> crush: "you guys play that rpg thing?"
> friends: "yeah, user DM for us since highschool"
> why would u niggers mention that
> crush: "this thing seems really interesting!"
> what? a hot chick that doesn't think this shit is dumb?
> not sure how to proceed

now i'm even considering inviting her to play with us. Anyone has any opinion/suggestion about this?

Do it.
Maybe lean ever so slightly on the RP side and less on murderhobo side for a while; but I met plenty female players that totally are into just rolling dice and killing shit.
Also, tone down the amount of dick jokes, misogyny and whatnot during your games, at least until she has time to adapt.
And don't tell me you don't do dick jokes and such at your table. We all know you do.

As long as you trust your friends (and yourself) not to sperg out around a cute girl then invite her and see how things go.

Welcome to the best timeline, user. If you don't sperg out about "reeeee normies invading my raison d'être hobby" like half the Veeky Forums does, you can get a lot of good, socially speaking, from the whole D&D resurgence thing.

His wife is either fat and disgusting or cheats on him. Or both. No sane women would put up with a disabled, antisocial, manchild

given her partying without him i'd bet the latter.

She's a nice girl, and our group is really ok. We are a bit geek but not in a overly awkward way. Though to be honest I'm a lot more insecure about inviting her because I'm the DM rather than the DnD thing itself. What if shit gets weird about it? What if the other players feel like I'm giving her too much attention? What if she thinks I'm being mean or something? I think I might invite her to my other group where we play FATE and I'm not the DM. As a player I might be more able to give her attention and smooth things over (i'm assuming she never played).

But I really feel weird about having her on the same group I DM.

I'm also unsure about how much of a gamer is she (though she doesn't seems to be much into it). Last night I taught her to play a card game (like MtG) that I like, and I think she had an ok experience playing it (though the fact I played a gayass control strategy might have not been the best move ever).

But i'm really impressed how she is totally ok with all my geekness

You're worrying to much

Just show her an episode of critical role or something so she gets a feel for what a game is like. If she shows interest make her a character or better yet let her make one.

Either that or tell her to come by towards the end of a session so she can watch and you guys can be done with it if she doesn't like it

Your mum sounds like a nice woman.

>and Critical Role (no bully)
ILL BULLY THE FUCK OUT OF YOU.

>That night I catch a cold she brought home from being social

Is that what the kids are calling it nowadays?

This is one of those few times where I suggest the military. Yes, a few years of your life seems like a lot, but trust me, it's a lot less painful in the long run than trying to pay off those student loans the regular way.

>kicked out the two faggots who did this
>lost two chances with two seperate girls because I refused to blow off my buds
> they probably wouldn't do the same since they're all thirsty virgins, and if I called them out on it I would be out of the group

>near a decade of being forever DM
>over the last twos been getting one of the influential players into 40K
>slowly starts reading up in factions, rules for wargames, buying figs
>bring up the RPGs like DH and RT a few minutes before every session
>finally convince him to try it out and the rest go along with it because fuck it why not
>guy says he'll DM and let me play for once
>giddy as a schoolgirl, finallygettoplayfinallygettoplayfinallygettoplay
>two days till session starts
>one of the other guys says "My wife says she wanted to play with us again too!"
>the same wife I had to kick years ago for being a not!Harley Quinn insufferable cunt after repeatedly telling her what level of faggotry I would and would not tolerate as a DM
>the same wife I headbutt and whos nose I nearly broke when she slapped me over an ever increasing heated disagreement of what I expect from the players in a game I run
>"Yeah she says she's going to play a navigator who's secretly a cultist to slaanesh"
>me - "I dont think I'm actually going to be able to make it man, neighbor got a project he mentioned he's building and said said he'd pay me for some help after my job. Was right about to tell X about it too."

I just wanted to play a game without Hottopic McRandumbXDDD being a thing. Was that too much to ask?

>some bitch you wouldn't even like anyway
I'm sure the reason you're alone is because your standards are too high, you fucking mouth breathing manchild

Like I don’t blame him. He was one of the few people at the table who’s never had a SO and he usually has a six day work week. So I’m happy for him, it’s just that our other host also isn’t above skipping DnD for a date.

The week after I had to run the game, we didn’t have one because we had no place to play, the following week DM hosted but we only played for a hour and left us with a cliff hanger and then we didn’t play the week after that.

I’m just bummed because our group has been together for two years and it’s the primary source of my social interaction.

Not sure you even need to give her that much attention, I'm sure she can infer about how the game works if you show her a critical role video or something, otherwise the babysitting may make you lose your mind and you may not be able to have fun while she just may feel like you see her like she can't figure stuff out on her own, or that there is a clear-cut way to roleplay/have fun playing tabletop shit

Go lift something you fat fuck. Your misery is your own fault and you can fix it yourself

>single
>fuckable
>wants to fuck some single guy in D&D group

You'd have better luck getting blackout and cold approaching at a dance club.

I introduced a classmate to D&D, she started playing with one of the groups, and met her boyfriend there.

Hang in there, user.

>the same wife I headbutt and whos nose I nearly broke when she slapped me over an ever increasing heated disagreement of what I expect from the players in a game I run
Glorious
You should have gave it a go user, maybe the new GM woul have kicked her out

My lateness is the standard all other members of my group are held up too.

>"Jesus Christ dude you're even later than user was today"

Hurts deep inside senpai

Life truly is suffering

Two weapon fighting

>Start getting into DnD because of... Critical Role

You're right user. 40,000 chills right down my spine

>falling for the systems poorly masked attempts to make you indebted to the oligarchy for no worthwhile benefit

>I'll take things that didn't happen for 500, Alex.

Show her one of Satine Pheonix's videos.

As long as they aren't total embarrassments of people and she doesn't develop into a ThatGal you're fine.

>explain tabletop games to my mom
>"GMing sounds like a lot of work, why would anyone agree to do that?"
Ahaha
They don't, mom

>GMing sounds like a lot of work, why would anyone agree to do that?"
Typically because they have some kind of worldbuilding and story they want to wank over.
If those that can't do teach, it's those that can't author that DM.
Alternately they're a Gygax style DM, where story barely matters and it's all about putting the PCs in crazy, life-threatening situations then cackling maniacly.

>join a random game on roll20
>gm picks my application out amidst a bunch of other people
>dude spent real money to commission an artist to make his world map

It was so much more than i expected And deserve

Lol, the reason I'm alone is cause I hardly talk to women and I'm ugly. Doesn't mean I didnt have chances. Stay mad faggot.

That sucks user sorry.

>nearing end of current D&D campaign
>GM sharing plans for the next one
>Proposes a few boring sounding premades and a reasonable sounding homebrew
>Homebrew uses a lot of concepts and mechanics not supported by D&D
>"What system would you use?"
>"I'll stick with D&D"
>Politely propose alternate systems with mechanics which support his ideas
>"Nah I'll stick with D&D"

Boy I can't wait for some shitty homemade mechanics.

I actually do GM a shadowrun game, and it's definitely the former for me. I have this story idea that's super dumb that I think is hot shit and want to try and share.

Reminds me of my GM. Dude seems prepared for fucking anything we do. It's incredible.

Honestly believe she thought she was being helpful and supportive of my new hobby. She wanted me to have all the books. She didn't consider how much money everything was going to be and how long it would take me to pay it off out of my monthly savings. Nor, did she understand that I could get everything half price ordering online. Honestly, I should have put my foot down and said no to everything. I was kind of distracted by taking to the owner about his store and it's the most social interaction I've had in maybe three years, so it was all a lot for me to take in at the same time. In short, I take responsibility for my lack of backbone that day.

I must the most beta alpha chad in existence.

I'm glad I can bring gratitude into your life user. I'm grateful my life isn't worse than it is.

Online dating works miracles. While most women want a man with money, a career, a car, or drugs. Other women, particularly older women, are lonely and sometimes willing to settle.

Haven't cashed in the husband points yet, but might be able to use some of them to offset the cost of the books. Wife controls all of the money, so if I behave I might be able to cash in a few points.

Thank you for stoking the fires of my paranoid fears user.

Thanks. It's appreciated.

Meh. It could always get worse.

Sadly, this is my life.

>Wife controls all of the money, so if I behave I might be able to cash in a few points.

This... Really sounds unhealthy, user. Are you sure everything's okay?

It is unhealthy, and I lost what little dignity I had years ago, but that's a problem with the welfare system. One couple. One check. Have fun arguing with your case worker about it. I know a woman who had to share her check with here elderly mother for years because they treated them like a single unit. Then they got investigated because their landlord had a last name that sounded like it might be related to them even though it clearly wasn't. Our welfare system is fucked beyond belief.

Non-burger here. Every social system the yanks have seems to be so far below sub-par it's not even funny. Utter sympathy and best wishes, dude.

I didn't say it was honest just that it was a plausible excuse

>Gotta be honest man, no one is getting laid because of DnD. The chances of finding someone that is:
I lost my virginity because of DnD 3.5, so I know your comment is patently false user. I was that annoying couple that stops showing up for game night because we were too busy fucking.

No but I got laid playing VtM with autistic mall goths

>Habitually brew wines and meads and beers
>Been doing it for two decades
>Have a bunch of barrels that I've been using since I was fifteen
>Made mention of it during a game because someone complained about how useless their 5e character's brewing supplies proficiency was
>End up talking about some of the entry-level stuff for an hour or so, get invited to bring some to the next game

>Next game, bring a two-gallon barrel of mead
>American white oak, medium toasting on the inside
>It's not my smallest, but the only ones smaller weren't ready for drinking yet
>Idiot player apparently can't handle his mead
>Ends up accidentally breaking the tap while I was busy with something else
>Still heard the "Oops"

Never been so close to slaying a man with a fucking barrel like Donkey Kong or some shit.

I'm picturing a burly barbarian grabbing a barrel with two meaty hands and crushing some poor drunk nerd into ground beef.

The absolute state of America