Faux Magical Realm

ITT: Actual things from history or myths or whatever that your players or Veeky Forums would scream is Magical Realm if you include them in your campaign but did happen / are real.

>entire city of OP fighters who only focus on training and never on doing anything else but fight, train and fuck (most of the time it's each other)
>cuckolding is a very important part of the culture and so is sharing your wife so she can be impregnated by someone else
>army superiors promote and support homosexual relationships between soldiers so they'll fight better

...

Zeus, definitely. (If you're homo or a chick)
>God turns into whatever turns you on the most and then fucks you.

Homos/trannies/feminazis that get triggered by Zeus are 'that guy's, no exception.

Greeks were obsessed with fucking, they're cheating.

It's amusing that neither of the first two were zeus.

Centaurus, father of the centaurs with a bunch of horses, was born when Ixion fucked a cloud shaped like Hera. (Zeus wanted to see if he'd take advantage of his hospitality by fucking Hera)

Asterius was born to Pasiphae, queen of Crete, after Posiedon made her fall in love with a bull. (Because her husband wouldn't sacrifice the bull to him, even though he was given it just for that purpose.)

The old emperor's of China had a literal city of whores. They had the city split in half, good hoes on the left, dirty/used how's in the right. And he had little boys with their balls chopped off to take care of them.

...

Ladies of the night in graveyards and prostitute assassins - one is from greece other is form of ninjas from japan

St. Theodora come up with several women, is that the 6th century one? I want to know exactly how old nipplefucking is

That's a thing? Wat?

>Propaganda written by a circumcised man

Must be true.

Everything you said except the bit about their training was 100% wrong.

>It's amusing that neither of the first two were zeus.
the last one wasn't zeus either.

Uh, Procopius wrote that in case Justinian and Theodora were overthrown, to 'prove' how much he hated their asses and to cozy up to whoever replaced them. Basically, he was a lying liar who lied his ass off.

...

Roman military policies about rape.

Hell, actual military behavior regarding rape throughout history.

The ancient Greek tradition that tutors would have sexual relationships with their same sex prepubescent students.

Pre-islam, Arabs practiced a tradition where if a father dies, the eldest son had to marry his mother, and have regular sex with her. Mohammed ended this practice.

Cult prostitutes

Destitute families selling their children (usually girls) into forced prostitution. Sadly this continues to this day in many places.

The oh kee pah ceremony. Look it up.

Eastern European trans marriage between women (one of whom undergoes a social sex change).

The pharoahs of Egypt practiced brother-sister incest for religious and political reasons.

Pitcairn's island. Look it up.

In some cultures, while officially banned, it is a widespread practice to sexually abuse unmarried daughters and sisters, so long as there is no breach of the hymen. So they get oral, "thighing", and anal. Some cultures do this to young boys too.

Virgin blood is used in Asian medicine. So virgins get kidnapped and forced into blood slavery where they get dunked into tanks full of leeches.

Honor killings. Again look it up. It happens in the West, too. In Europe it's widespread in immigrant communities and winked at by authorities.

Related: rape of a woman is considered a crimes against her family, not her. She's guilty of "being a slut". So in some communities, the punishment is that the courts order someone in the family of the victim to rape a girl in the attacker's family. She's then a slut, too, because.... umm...

The Catholics forcibly castrated some choir boys up until the 20th century.

Medieval knights would chose a highborn woman (wife of even a noble) and fuck her if they won the joust. The church invented courtly love to stop the practice.

Human beings are capable of some sick shit.

> he doesn't know that spartans valued strong, powerful bodies so old men letting their wives get impregnated by younger, athletic males was the norm

>he doesn't know about the sacred band of thebes

Just kys and stop believing 300 or /pol/ or wikipedia or whatever.

It's silly that I find it hard to put myself in the shoes of ancient people and see them as the same human beings as me just because I cannot relate to their cultural values. What I consider normal and sane is far too ingrained, but obviously it is just as socially constructed as their values. I just arbitrarily prefer mine.

Read the Draka series until historical cultures become sane and reasonable by comparision. That author did a good job building a society of absolute madmen.

I would love to see someone’s reaction to the curse of priapus, but there is almost no way to do that without getting magical realmy.
To any uncultured swines who don’t know- priapus was a minor Greek god who was cursed with “inconvenient impotence” meaning that he was erect at all times except during any form of intercourse

>Eastern European trans marriage between women (one of whom undergoes a social sex change).
So that is why in my village no one cared about those two lesbians......For like 60 years

I am using that one

Isn't that the "Secret History", which claimed that Justinian was a literal demon who would take his head off and go bowling with it?

I mean just the fact that people were writing about nipple-fucking that early into human history is a fascinating thing in itself.

>Cult prostitutes
Man, it's a real shame this tradition died out with the rise of Abrahamic religions.

I'd be pious as fuck if there were still temple prostitutes.

Let's add to it:

Sexual hospitality, where the host offers his wife or daughter to the guest.

Snohachestvo, a pre-revolution Russian practice where the head of the household held full sexual access to his sons' wives.

The practice some New Guinean tribes had of having little boys fellate adult men to share in their vital force.

Also a New Guinean belief that conceiving a child requires copulating as often as possible, because the child is build up bit by bit.

Some South American peoples' belief that a baby can have multiple fathers, so if theres several good men the woman would just have sex with all of them.

And finally, the Trobriand Islands, where the staple crop posessed contraceptive qualities to such extent that the islanders never noticed the link between sex and conception, and as a result developed a very free-love culture.

You know secular prostitutes are still a thing, right?

>Eastern European trans marriage between women (one of whom undergoes a social sex change).

What?

What the fuck are you talking about? The Forbidden City had a lot more than just concubines in it. It was practically the seat of the Chinese empire. There were only like 5 buildings designated for concubines.

Big buildings but like

There are the Albanian sworn virgins, but they didn't marry...

I believe you completely missed their point