You have the power to petrify

>petrify asshole I don't like
>give to artisan to carve into a female statue
>then petrify self and wait
>the end result will be worth it either way

BUT A FOOLISH SPARTAN WARRIOR, WIELDING A MAGIC SWORD, STEPPED FORTH TO OPPOSE ME

>three hundred years
you'd be luck if the currency you used was still valid. Three hundred years ago humanity was still blood letting.

Stop shoving your beta male fetish into every thread.

Ideally you'd be unpetrified every 100 years so you could check your investments but if the country you lived in decided to nuclear war in that time you'd be fucked

BEFORE THE FINAL BLOW WAS STRUCK, I PETRIFIED THE WARRIOR, FLINGING HIM INTO A FUTURE WHERE MY EVIL IS LAW.

Petrify endangered and nearly extinct species of creatures. When the non petrified members of the species go extinct, I come out of hiding and either donate the now very much alive creatures to a conservation program or I sell them for exorbitant prices. After all, how much would you pay for a live dodo or passenger pigeon?

How long do you plan on living

He can petrify himself too. If he gathers all his specimens and does all the turning-to-stone in one day he should be good.

You'd always have to worry about the off chance that your statue would be broken in that time.

Still, 100 years ago, the sun hadn't set on the British empire and the birth of a nation was being screened at the white house.

Is this just a random jumble of meme words?

The best part is how shaping your shit and gradually building the home would be a long process, so when the petrification reverses, it wouldn't be all at once. Day after day, throughout the entire mansion, one after another, each brick transforms into shit. They wouldn't even realize what's happening until at least a day passes.

Just go to bumblefuck rural Greenland while you wait.

This is ABSOLUTE GENIUS!

>wake up in the future
>you awaken completely nude in a display case at a museum
>someone's successfully sued to auction off your assets
>several metal bars pierce your legs and arms, apparently to keep your stone self in place
FTFY

>need another 20 years to fully understand what an aPed is; new technology is never easy
>by the time you're almost caught up with CurrentYear+300, you've already been placed into re-education multiple times for your intensely backwards and damaging views regarding the dignity and rights of plants and other non-sentient creatures

I guess everything we want to do with stasis and such but actually working and not impossible. Ton of people are just gonna rush to the nearest petrifipaloosa and want to wake up in the future. But on a business or survival deal its pretty useless, especially if you can't set your petrification time. People sick with something would overshoot any possible appointment.

Big ol vaults that can only be opened from inside, but with air holes and petrified food. With people probably paid very good money to keep those vaults and their rocks incredibly safe.

Use it to help terminal cases of incurable diseases, if it can't be cured with current technology and death is certain, then at least I can give them a hope of survival in the future.

Alternately you could use it to petrify parts of the ocean and dig down, resulting in us mining parts of the seafloor that would be inaccessible otherwise. A hundred years is a long time to get materials out of the earth.

Petrify a bunch of cool shit so people know you can. Then petrify a bung of rocks that look like the cool stuff and let the games begin

>if

How can you prove to others your power wears off if you intend to sell a service?

This is great. There is a high chance family will never figure it out, blaming the shithouse on recent curse and never finding about the real cause until all the bricks turn into shit and all real evidence of the mystery disappear.

Amazing.

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Man, this is why I love Veeky Forums even though I don't even play tabletop games. The freedom of role-playing games that can have any setting and where players can perform any action with a high enough roll cultivates your creativity to the point where you produce things like this.

>Even though I don't play tabletop games
Why?

The sun still hasn't set on the British Empire because they retain the Pitcairns.

My friends are all at different colleges now so setting up a tabletop RPG with them would be impossible. Doing something with them online or through tabletop simulator would also be a challenge because they spend pretty much every second they have away from studying high or drunk. We only ever had one campaign in high school and while it was really fun, everyone was pretty shit at it and our GM lost interest like 3 sessions in. I'm not sure if they would even be willing to put in the necessary effort as players even if they did have the time.

Make new friends, make new stories. The adventure never ends.

What kind of stone does the stuff become? That's REALLY important

That image hits a little too close to home for me. I'm a perma-GM and an alcoholic. Sometimes I black out in the middle of sessions and come to to situations like that, that sober me never would have allowed and I now have to deal with

You're a horrible person and I love you. However you do realize the impossibly large volume of shit this would require right?

You'd need to employ other people's shit too.

something generic would be to save people dying of cancer, preserve them for 100 years so that in the future there is better medical treatment. Typical cryogenics

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Depending on how you eat, I see some logistical issues.

>send ransom letters to settlements that are on rivers, threatening to petrify their water source further upstream if they don't pay up
>collect riches

I'd give $10 000 to fund this anime

>tl;dr petrify women and sell them
Haha, yes, this is cute and in no way terrifying.

>killed by knights with reflective armor and hammers that can break stone

>threatening to petrify their water source further upstream if they don't pay up
>villagers grind solid water (not ice duh) into dust and sniff it when thirsty
Jokes on you, petrified water would greatly improve logistics of travel in the ancient times. Soldiers, sailors and travelers had to rely on existing sources of fresh water as rivers and wells or carry supply of wine with them.

Why do you think reflective armor would in any way help them? For that matter, why would hammers that can break stone?

Are you me?

You are sad and pathetic

Ruin has come to our family.

You remember our venerable house, opulent and imperial, gazing proudly from its stoic perch above the moor.

Fuck whatever I was going to think up, this right here wins it.

>Get put in a museum
>People will preserve you and keep you clean for free

As long as you don't mind having your dong out, presuming that your clothes don't get petrified with you.

The time it takes until you approve of the statue means there will be enough time between you and the woman/like of meat waking up for either to disappear.

Now, this is how you do it:

>petrify jackass
>artisan makes weekly skill checks to avoid damaging the statue and letting the soul escape
>minor damages lead to loss of memory, major ones to a potato
>prepare special spell for ressurection with expensive ingredients
>enjoy golem waifu that absolutely hates you

Or, if the looks of the statue are really all that matters slap fake tits and a wig on some guy and call it a day.

>enjoy golem waifu that absolutely hates you
10/10 plan, would spend my ducats to execute

One word: hibernation.

I use it for space travel. Also make impossible machines. I can make something weigh more or less magically, which might seem like nothing but is in fact, insanely rules of nature bending crazy powerful.

My fucking sides
Put me in the screencap

Play with people online, mang.

Spoken like a true player character

>How might this power be put to use?

I'm going to get rich on dumb tech millionairs.

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NOW THE FOOL SEEKS TO TO RETURN TO THE PAST, AND UNDO THE FUTURE THAT IS GORGON

>buy healing crystal or some such new age shit
>petrify it
>and again
>and again
>and again and again and again and again and again and again
>sell "homoeopathic healing crystals" to dumbasses
>???
>profit

>Pygmalion situation
That only works when the statue has some connection to the other person in the first place - like in Ovid's story, where Pygmalion is the creator (essentially, father) of the statue.

Well you just won the internet for the day.

If the future isn't a place where having your dong out is acceptable, why even live?

A literal brick shit house

And this is why the men of the pitcairns got away with being an incestuous sociopahtic clique-cult for so long.

They had a magical hold on the UK due to the power to force the sun to set on the british empire by being removed. They're modern magicians with a ritual timebomb should they fuck things hard enough.

>Cast petrify
>GASP, the reflective part was MAGICAL
>They're sorcerer knights
>Their hammers sunders you into dust with the faintest blow
You wee lost even back when you were thinking about winning.

>Years go by
>several of the people you hate die from old age
>You don't
>Wizard powers yo
>The latest heir talks to you because the family has thought you as a close friend for building their awsome marble brick mansion
>He's a really cool guy and you like him
What now wizard

When you see it you will shit bricks

Nah. There are lots of companies that still exist from much longer in the past than that and with the invention of stocks and shares huge companies have just got more and more survivable

Petrify fools.
Hit em with a hammer.
???
Profit

petrify him

Wizards hold grudges just a little longer than dwarves.

>Oglaf.jpeg

Warn him about upcoming disaster you've seen in your scrying that's to befell his house.

>aiming for the whole body
>not petrifying their eyes in their sockets through the gaps
>not leaving them to wander blindly rather than offering them mercy in the form of death
Shameful

Bonus points in that you probably started from the bottom and worked your way up.

Tell him that you foresaw a disaster befall this house but not necessarily it's occupants. Encourage him to sell the house and travel for a while.

I fucking love this board

The worst part is that it'd probably turn to shit from the bottom-up, so the building will sink, sag, one-wall turning to shit before another one.

It'll be like a fly-infested brickhouse melt into feces in the summer sun like Hell's candlewax.

Space travel to other solar systems is about to get a lot easier.

AT&T, Ford, Beretta, JP Morgan, Sears, several private universities, DuPont iirc, Bayer and many other companies have been around for a century already

>deeplore.png

please tell me someone capped this

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Become a close and personal, yet mischievous wizard friend. Cast some protection magic on the area so nobody gets hurt by the Shit unpetrifying, and then watch as your noble friend is tearing his hair out over it. When the castle is finally a pile of steaming Shit I just use my Wizard Powers to conjure up a castle with twice the size and grandeur.
Reveal to my friend that the whole thing was the most elaborate prank ever, have a good laugh about it, then offer my services as a wizard, and to protect his lineage, in exchange for a seat at his dining table as long as I live, and his house holds power.
Immortal Wizards? They have all infinite power and life, but the one thing they can't conjure up is family and personal friends they can chat with in just a general, personable, comfy sense.
I'm 90% sure that's why Merlin stuck around with King Arthur. Life gets lonely when you experience time backwards. It probably helped to sit around with Arthur and the knights, down a couple of beers, and show off some wizard parlor tricks.

So building brown bricks with minecrap?

Questions.

>Is the target still conscious within the stone form? If so, is it "and I must scream" or "I enjoy being looked at?"
>If not, do they perceive the passage of time as a long sleep, or is it more "I blinked and a century went by?"
>Furthermore, does destroying the statue kill the person, and do injuries carry over once it wears off? Does additional sculpting of some kind (i.e. removing scars, fat, or blemishes) also carry over? If I cut down a guy's fat and chisel in some abs before petrifying him, do the abs stay chiselled once the century is over, leading him to thank me for kickstarting his love life?
>Can I choose what material someone becomes, or do they all turn to granite/marble/whatever?

I mean you say that now but building a house sounds fucking hard.

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>How might this power be put to use?

If you have to ask...

Ugh god I wish I could be one of those assholes you didn't like.
Imagine waking up permanently in a female body with a functioning womb...

He didn't say anything about functioning womb

I know but if we're talking about magical impossible scenarios than that's on the table obviously.