Tell me about your camp followers Veeky Forums

Tell me about your camp followers Veeky Forums.

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Expendable, useful as bait for luring out dragons in areas that are more destrier/lance friendly (provided you don't tell them in advanced otherwise the cowardly blighters have a tendency to run away) but always make sure you don't run out of them completely because there's nothing less chivalrous than having to cook your own meals and erect your own tent whilst on a quest.

We aren't allowed camp followers or permanent bases anymore. Last time we accidently created a kingdom and caused a civil war that set half a continent on fire.

All we wanted was somewhere safe to stash the loot.

I play d&d so any camp followers just get killed the second we aren't looking.

The party has an oracle from two characters' former mercenary company, who was imprisoned while they were dead, and functions now as the party's surgeon. Then there's also the orphan, daughter of their best friend who's unofficially become the knight's squire until they gather the funds or means to have her live somewhere else even though she'll be against it once she hears of it.

Whores, the lot of them.

this

DM seems to fucking hate anything I don't bring in the dungeon with me. Servants, guards, wagons, horses, supplies. He likes to think that he doesn't do it every time we're not watching them but they never last long regardless. So I don't bother any more. He still destroys the stuff he gives us.

>new DM
>start with wagon as a test
>gets destroyed before we even reach the dungeon

Whenever I'm a player, DM always wrecks anything not on my person, zero exceptions. When I'm DM, players never bother thinking outside the box enough to have followers so, none either way.

I don't know why so many DM's are faggots (in the classical sense) about letting players have something nice like a wagon or camp wife.

Honestly sometimes you just gotta tell them that things exist. In a certain town, after a smith bought a player's equipment for lower than normal and sold some armor higher than usual, I had to remind my players that haggling is a thing.

I think it's probably because most people suck, and that naturally includes most DMs.

Well, technically the term WAS also used as a euphemism for such individuals...

What's the matter...

Too DEEP for you?

Basically comes out into 3 stages.

First, it's some dude with a wagon to help carry your loot. Handly, but you need to keep fuckers away from it.

Second, renting out some houses. Far more secure but the landlord will demand his money regularly. Good news is that he'll accept payment in murder hobo'ing.

Lastly, Castle. Besides being a HUGE money sink, you also can't legally build a castle without being a noble (Not saying you need to do things legally but it does cut down on the armies on your doorstep). So now you've got to get your asses ennobled which really is just a questhook from the King or something near it.

Being a landed noble with a castle is essentially Winning the Game as you can sit on your ass all day and still never have to worry about money again. Mostly. People will pay to live near the castle and the right to hide inside it when Bad Things happen. Of course, being a landed noble means the King can call you off to war whenever he feels like it (some restrictions apply, see Feudal Law) but is that really so bad?

I do believe he was being literal.

The woman in the OP image looks a bit old for whoring

Yeah, but she makes a mean stew.

When you're off to face the French in the morning you don't worry about such things as sobriety and age.

My players picked up a follower and animal handler guy early on, he did get attacked by zombies early on, the party was well aware this was a possibility. He was saved when the donkey he was supposed to be watching proceeded to roll well enough to kick the two zombies to death. I actually rolled the combat in full view for the players just so they could see what leaving the poor sap alone would cost them. The donkey is now a well kept beast and the follower their steward in the small manse they have since acquired as a home base.

Our party rogue semi-seriously negotiated with them for a basis as to how much of our belongings they're allowed to steal before we start turning the camp upside down looking for things.

literally exact same here. why is everyone so retarded? why can't I just play with 5 clones of myself who also happen to be sexy babes?

They tend to be amongst the casualties and for once it's not our fault.

i take this back, 5 sexy clones of myself would probably just bully me out of the group and have a lesbian orgy

>not wanting exactly this to happen so you can watch

My players mistreat them, exploit them and use them as bait. Rarely they outlive them an adventure or two.

Then the fuckers cry to me when their favorite slave (aka “companion”) dies when they throw it at a dragon or something.

>not having spare girdle of opposite sex for exactly this situation
You guys are suck at being wizards

A bunch of laborers (exact number doesn't matter, seems to go up and down as we travel), a huntsman, a healer, a herbalist, a barber-surgeon, a loremaster, a retired man-at-arms and six mercenaries (two mounted, four on foot), a cook, cook's son (potato peeler), a butcher, a blacksmith, a carpenter, a minstrel, a master bowman, a thief called Garrot, a girl(male) that unexpectedly survived the last monster attack because one of the PCs pushed him into a well earlier, abomination from Darkest Dungeon, a morbidly obese occultist/wine ponce who can guestimate the number of things in a pile with incredible accuracy, a man who can lift a grown bull above his head, and an old woman who makes the beast pies in the realm. One of the horses might be sapient as well, we've never managed to prove or disprove it.

>hates wagons and mounts

Wtf? Seriously the part having a wagon and mounts saves time and makes the gms job actually easier.

What's faster?
>players find a bunch of kickass treasure but can't haul it on on their own, so they make several trips to get it all

>players load up a goddamn wagon, go to town and sell their shit.

I mean maybe if the gm is so shit he makes the treasure vanish or some shit that'd end it faster but still time wasted is time wasted.

Nonsense! Benjamin Franklin wrote an entire essay on the virtues of bedding older women.

She was a whore two wars ago, and less profitable whore in the last war, and now she's the camp's cook, while her bastard daughter from the first campaign is doing the whoring.

Such is the life of a camp follower.

Ol' Benjie did not have a thing called "internet"

>accidently created a kingdom
You created a base, what else did you expect?

That's somewhere between a circus and a full mercenary company

They're a pain in the ass to recruit and keep alive, but they're totally worth it in the end.

Benjamin Franklin was the fucking man. I one day aspire to slay as much milf pussy as Benjamin "Jam it in, frankly" Franklin.

Ben was a faggot.

Hesitant
Excited
Diligent
Nubile

Next thread.

Where i lay my head is home yeah!

So, this was rejected in a thread about images, but do you guys mind sharing images of camp followers?

t. Divayth Fyr

reddit.com/r/rpg/comments/6hv3qi/1d100_table_of_camp_followers/

They're pretty camp

user you need to find a DM that is going to appreciate the depth you like putting in to your characters.

Seek help

>T. Knightly Lordson