Post stupid bullshit from any tabletop bestiary

This looks like it was created just for this one-off visual gag, where the bard is flirting with what they think is a Mermaid from behind, then it turns around and it's got a Dolphin for a face.
And Then your bard fucks it anyway.

Game?!

...

Someone thought combining a hydra with a vargouille was a great idea and I hope that person can live with themselves.

It's just collaboration series where a bunch of h-artists make a monster entry and a victim followed by that victim getting viciously monster fucked on the next page. Zero actual Veeky Forums content outside of having bestiary in the name.

Hahah, fun show.
>Perform Tentacle rape.
Wait, what?

fuck you, this thing is RAD

Oh I agree it's a cool monster. It's just extremely bullshit to fight. All the strengths of a hyrdra plus flying and save or dies.

>Zero actual Veeky Forums content

I've actually hacked stuff from that bestiary into a few of my games. The giant slime that parasitizes dragons is a cool fucking monster.

The entirety of the Immortals Handbook Bestiary

...

...Goddamnit, that thing's name is on the tip of my tongue, and I just can't get it. Anyone know what it's called?

Shrieking Terror. 3.5 Monster Manual 3.

meep meep coming through

Thank you! That was driving me a bit mad.

Someone got a pdf of that book? Also is it just one crazy power wank?

Despite being terrible shlock with unreadable fonts, bad art and the most egregious example of hit point bloat, I had a fondness for the Immortals Handbook, and I'm kinda upset we didn't see more.

I frankly have no idea why, I guess I like seeing "beyond the beyond", larger and more powerful beings on a more and more macro scale

Is there anything like the Immortals Handbook, but done well?

A classic

>Someone got a pdf of that book?
Literally look it up on google( The Immortals handbook), both books are on the first page
>Also is it just one crazy power wank?
You bet your ass

I needs source name for...research reasons...yes, for...research.

Name one thing that can defeat a Neutronium Golem (besides a time lord(not the doctor who ones(or the ultima ones)))

the flash

A sphere of annihilation?

...

A singularity golem.

One of those dragons that eat laws of reality.

reimu

is that a beholder with dreadlocks

A single level 8 wizard from 3.5.

...

...

thicc

My dick.

Nothing, we all lose.

This thing still pisses me off.

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Bestiary, you can find it on N-Hentai
has some primo fish dicking in it

>N-Hentai

So why is this stupid bullshit?

>N-Hentai
nhentai then. sorry orc man

That shit gonna haunt me in my nightmares

>nhentai

Is this Gamma World?
I thought they were called Spoats and were more like giant spiders with goat horns and udder-like spinnerets. I seem to remember them secreting a milky webbing, good times.
I also liked the bears that were genetically engineered to be able to spray fire suppressing foam out of their mouths.

Mutant Future, a Gamma World/Basic D&D hybrid.

*dies*

...

This is dumb haha

I think I prefer the Spoat. Can't remember which edition it's from though

> This was before they ran out of ideas

It's from Mutant Future, a B/X clone based off of Gamma World by the same dudes who did Labyrinth Lord

Pisses me off because the Senmurv is a mythological creature with ancient roots that nobody knows about anymore aside from that one stupid D&D version. Uzbekistan still uses it in their coat of arms.

ShindoL...among others. I still can feel the SAN i lost.

92% chance

wow what a shit idea

What's shitty about it?

Anyone?

Just remembered another great one

>you fight...space itself
fucking dumb may as well be shooting magic missiles at the darkness.

thats a big dog

Iunno, I like it in a dumb edgy teen way

Weirff hlete Idiagen ??

What's the problem? "hurr u got scifi in muh tolkien simulator"?

yes

Actual. Mythological. Creature.

I agree actually, there's nothing in there that you could ever remotely use in an actual game but it's fun to read anyway.

I really doubt it, high level play has never been done well.

Plus it just sort of can't be done well. The d20 doesn't mean a whole fucking lot with modifiers in the hundreds.

How would you even use this in an encounter
Show me a video of some nerds playing at a level high enough where they can fight these things

Not really. Nobilis is sort of similar in general power level, but not in tone. Nothing has done gonzo high power fantasy adventuring before or since

>soulgems...

>pink licking purple
I'm pretty sure it was purple licking green

Ironically Pathfinder androids are way better than Starfinder ones.

No, Encantado looks like a regular river dolphin.

How so?

...

it's a snuff doujin

In Pathfinder, androids are pod people without memory of who are what they are and they are pumped full of nanomabhines that gives a fun refill flavor. Aside for being gifted picture perfect wizard stats, they are a cool strange creature. They are strange things found in mystery pods.

In Starfinder several gods mushed together and made a new god that sort of woke up the androids. They lose the nanomachines (they are just built by them), and are gifted souls despite being pumped out by mega corporations until they protested for their rights. They gain an armor slot instead of having nanomachine powers.

It’s a deity from folklore

lots of folklore is stupid bullshit

Is this true? Given the brokenness of 3.5, I won't be amazed if you can exploit the system and achieve that.

Celerity+Force Cage. Go first always, then a no-save, then permanency.

Wouldn't even come close to working

By RAW it does. You need to like astral project or something to get near but force cage isn't targeted and doesn't trigger a save, and doesn't have rules to break out of

I like the idea behind these guys a bullshit power creep TO THE MAX thing, but everything else about them is a mess. I guess the art is conceptually cool? But thats also a fucking mess.

It's just a novelty book, not a real resource

Insert Bark Pun

but this one seems cool

>By RAW it does
>8th Level Wizard
>Casting Force Cage a 7th level spell
>Casting Permanency a 5th level spell
>Can't use Permanency on Force Cage
>Can use it on Wall of Force but requires CL 13
>While casting Astral Projection, a 9th level spell

>A single level 8 wizard from 3.5.

Unless you're doing some Candle of Invocation with a weak willed DM infinite bullshit, you're full of shit user.

It's alright. My issue is more with how divorced it is from what the Irminsul were. Just trees people worshiped. The whole dimension aspect is just kinda tagged on. Really could have been called anything else.

That's kind of Paizo's bestiary strategy. They just jack something from mythology and slam it into Pathfinder.

Oh wait I forgot how spell levels work in D&D. My bad.

every time i see this, the two lowest branches seem to be hands on the hips and the rest of the tree giving you a scowl like it knows what is on the other side of the portal and it knows you know too.

Of all the weird shit in Paizo's bestiaries, just having Ancient Aliens is one of my favorites.